Women who quit dating and are single , what are your reasons?

[latter day taint 2]

Once you hit a certain age, dating becomes a group sport - because everyone has at least one divorce and kids. Many women in their 40s and 50s don't want to deal with unstable ex-wives and dramatic teenagers.

 

[Hubelublub]

Many women in their 40s and 50s don't want to deal with bullshit moid stories about unstable ex-wives

Fixed your post for you.

 

[latter day taint 2]

Fixed your post for you.

Clearly you have never had to deal with a cluster B ex wife.

Either way, even if the ex is not an issue, it adds a lot of complexity many people don't have the time or energy to entertain.

 

[JED]

I'm genuinely asexual and outside of for procreation do not want to have sex ever, and cannot find people attractive. Makes it very difficult especially since peoplw do expect that and want it. Sex out of pure obligation with someone you can't be attracted to ruined my last relationship which was over 5 years long. Ruined her self esteem and worth and I had no idea how much she was hurting because she kept it hidden from me to try amd make it work.

 

[crazedaze]

cluster B

ex wife

Many women in their 40s and 50s don't want to deal with unstable ex-wives understand what it means when a man bitches about personality disorders in exes.

Ftfy

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Oh dear.

Well basically it's not so much that I quit as it is that I genuinely don't have a need. I do wonder what it'd be like to have a partner but I've never gone through any effort of dating. The idea makes me actually slightly uncomfortable and very self conscious.

I think that's probably a good thing because I'm generally a loner, rather asocial and extremely anxious around men.

I may try to do some basic shit of putting myself out there once my living situation and mental health improves. But I'm not gonna hold my breath.

 

[Terfmaster9000]

I don't like the idea of dating apps, and most connections happen that way these days. I am not avoiding dating, but I am not actively trying to date, either. If I meet someone and we click; amazing. If not, still good, I have a very fulfilling career and circle of friends & acquantances I can barely keep up with as it is, and a lot of hobbies I am into, so I don't feel like I am missing anything.

Which is sad! I should feel like I am missing something. However, being of certain age and having lived life I am sadly kind of disappointed in men in general. A lot of them are just not worth the effort, and the very few that are decent humans are usually taken, or we don't "click" in all aspects of our personalities or sexuality. I think a lot of men don't see women as fellow humans, and I would never want to date a man who only sees me as a fuck hole, or a maid/mommy. Or god forbid: both. (Porn ruined so many men)

My grandma always said "better alone than in bad company", and I think she was very right about that. It's true when it comes to dating, friendships, and even jobs.

Now that I think of it, I think my ex spoiled me. He was genuenly "one of the good ones", and we were together for 6 years. It's hard to settle for a pornsick fuckboy who "isn't ready for something serious" and wants you to be his mom/therapist, but also wants to fuck on the side, after you've had a genuenly great partnership with a good man.

 

[Right Butt Cheek]

I am single but not exactly looking for anyone or anything but not opposed to the idea of dating. Just like some others said, I just don't have an exact need for it. I have a good career, good friends, cool hobbies. If someone comes my way that I have interest in and they have interest back, sure, I am down to see where it goes, but otherwise i'm just enjoying existing as me and doing what I want without worrying about another person.

 

[James Brown]

Wyświetl załącznik 6800914

Ftfy

>Ackshually there's never been a single woman with cluster B in the history of ex-wives!! Cluster B's are extremely rare and have perfect marriages!!
This is real deal dindu behavior, holy fuck. It's gross someone can't say they don't want to to deal with the often-weird relationship that comes with older stepkids and ex-wives because people seem to take the "crazy" line so personally. Everyone knows what it refers to.

 

[crazedaze]

>Ackshually there's never been a single woman with cluster B in the history of ex-wives!! Cluster B's are extremely rare and have perfect marriages!!
This is real deal dindu behavior, holy fuck. It's gross someone can't say they don't want to to deal with the often-weird relationship that comes with older stepkids and ex-wives because people seem to take the "crazy" line so personally. Everyone knows what it refers to.

Lol you're really fuckin dumb.
If you could read, you'd see that I never said bpd women don't exist. I said moids who stay in relationships with them long enough to marry them are npd. You got triggered because YOU are "dindu nuffin"ing for moids. Quit projecting lmao
Moids who bitch about crazy exes are crazy thats why they get into relationships with crazy people. Every time. Hallmark of narcissism to be incapable of taking accountability, it's always someone else with them.

 

[The Ugly One]

Now that I think of it, I think my ex spoiled me. He was genuenly "one of the good ones", and we were together for 6 years.

This is a serious question. Six years without closing the deal and starting a family seems like an incredibly long time to be hemming and hawing on the commitment question. Did nothing seem wrong with that?

 

[The Crescent King]

For me, I suppose I've always felt a little bit different from the majority of people. The modern age is nihilistic, and I'm a romantic at heart. I'm religious and Traditional in the philosophical sense; I want to live in a world where love is seen as aspirational, and the sexes respect each other's unique gifts and selflessly toil for each other. Modernity has retarded these feelings and love has become a means of self-satisfaction as opposed to self-giving. Pornography is the epitome of this dynamic, but porn is a symptom of underlying values that even women have adopted wholesale. Sex isn't about procreating and connecting selflessly, but about orgasms and pleasure. Marriage isn't an inviolable union, but a love contract. Friends and lovers don't aspire towards a shared vision anymore, but spend a time with each other before moving on to greener pastures. I don't mean to be cynical, but these sorts of attitudes make me lose hope that I'll ever find a lover with the same views as me. I still have hope and I'm decently young (23), so I do pray that time will be kind to me in this instance.

 

[Terfmaster9000]

This is a serious question. Six years without closing the deal and starting a family seems like an incredibly long time to be hemming and hawing on the commitment question. Did nothing seem wrong with that?

Nah, not in the culture we live in. People live together for 20+ years without getting married. Even start families, etc. It's not unusual at all. But I do understand why you had to ask. It's very different from many other cultures and ways of thinking.

The modern age is nihilistic, and I'm a romantic at heart. I'm religious and Traditional in the philosophical sense; I want to live in a world where love is seen as aspirational, and the sexes respect each other's unique gifts and selflessly toil for each other. Modernity has retarded these feelings and love has become a means of self-satisfaction as opposed to self-giving.

This is so well-written, and I feel it puts into words my own beliefs and wants, so well. Nothing to add, other than I felt kinship with you when I read it. This is what I value, and want for myself, and if that's too much to ask then so be it. I rather continue without a partner than settle for a way of life and love that does not align with my heart.

 

[The Ugly One]

Nah, not in the culture we live in. People live together for 20+ years without getting married. Even start families, etc. It's not unusual at all. But I do understand why you had to ask. It's very different from many other cultures and ways of thinking.

I know our culture has changed, but the outcome is now you're alone and don't have a family, and you're casting about for a new guy in a sea of trash (though I guess you've given up). To me, "one of the good ones" thinks about the future of the relationship in terms other than "when we get tired of sex with each other and move on to have sex with other people." Or did you never want to have a family?

I'm asking these questions because I don't really understand the mentality of people who never marry and what they want their old age to look like, whether you actually think about it or not, etc.

 

[Terfmaster9000]

I know our culture has changed, but the outcome is now you're alone and don't have a family, and you're casting about for a new guy in a sea of trash (though I guess you've given up). To me, "one of the good ones" thinks about the future of the relationship in terms other than "when we get tired of sex with each other and move on to have sex with other people."

Or did you never want to have a family and aspired to eventually be alone?

You are pulling a lot of conclusions from thin air. I wrote a very vague post and I don't want to go into the specifics about my life, or my ex, or our relationship, because they don't really matter and I don't want to reveal too much about myself on a forum full of spergs who will definitely go through your old posts (I am sure you understand). All I can say is, the truth of what happened is not as negative as you seem to be assuming right now.

 

[The Ugly One]

You are pulling a lot of conclusions from thin air. I wrote a very vague post and I don't want to go into the specifics about my life, or my ex, or our relationship, because they don't really matter and I don't want to reveal too much about myself on a forum full of spergs who will definitely go through your old posts (I am sure you understand). All I can say is, the truth of what happened is not as negative as you seem to be assuming right now.

Entirely fair answer. I don't mean to pry.

 

[Hubelublub]

I know our culture has changed, but the outcome is now you're alone and don't have a family, and you're casting about for a new guy in a sea of trash (though I guess you've given up). To me, "one of the good ones" thinks about the future of the relationship in terms other than "when we get tired of sex with each other and move on to have sex with other people." Or did you never want to have a family?

I'm asking these questions because I don't really understand the mentality of people who never marry and what they want their old age to look like, whether you actually think about it or not, etc.

I can't see an issue with never wanting to marry.

What I don't understand is being with someone for more than a couple of years, living with them even, but not wanting to get the marriage certificate organised.

Is it not wanting to be alone, but also not wanting to be together? You can't stand your own company, but you're not sure you can stand his?

I have respect for women who forge their own path and trust their own judgement.
Women who do all the chores of a marriage but none of the security, I just don't fucking get it. Why? What's in it for you?

 

[Justa Grata Honoria]

Clearly you have never had to deal with a cluster B ex wife.

Either way, even if the ex is not an issue, it adds a lot of complexity many people don't have the time or energy to entertain.

From Personal experience everytime a man vomits unprompted in a thread AIMED AT WOMEN means one or two things your ex refused to play nice and take what you give her in divorce and made sure you paid every cent you owed her and then pay mentally for whatever bs you put her through,

Or
You did something very shitty and she makes sure everyone know including your neighbours dog and any future dating prospects you have .

Or
She fucked off and let you take care of the kids because she did math and realised she is getting fucked and 400 dollars per month per kid won't cut it.

There is however 1% chance what you are saying is true but you are barking at the wrong tree pal and then I am truly sorry

 

[Rap Scallion]

It got to the point of being annoying and feeling like work instead of fun and something to look forward to. The boredom will wear off and I'll try again eventually, but it just feels like there's so many better things to do with my time for now. If it happens again then it happens again. The older I get, the more arranged marriage seems more appealing.

 

[FeatherPlucker]

Had a LTR a while ago. When it ended (and it was an ugly break up), refused to ever compete with another computer screen again, ever.
Most men are digi-sexual…. Their computers/porn are their primary focus of sexual attraction and preferred form of partner for sexual activity.
They will replace us with robots, anyway— human shaped computers— so I see no purpose in bothering with them.

Oh, and the past few years doubled down my resolve to remain single. It seems as if most men are becoming bi, faggots or trannies—- including the ones who seemed normal and straight 10 years ago. There’s no way in hell I’m wasting my life just to have some dude turn out to be a degenerate rainbow chaser.