random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

And here I just thought I had used up my 15 minutes of fame in kindergarten when I realized I could wiggle my ears. All the other kids were super impressed.

"First they came for the chuds, and I said nothing, cuz they were just heckin fascists anyways..."

My father fought in Vietnam.
According to generational trauma, I'm a war vet.

When he says he's spent $100 on clothes, he means on hookers used panties.

You can just about hear the eye roll in her voice.

Last year, I called it that if he won the lawsuit he would get super cocky and arrogant and boy was I right. Not that it was a hard prediction, but still, I'm patting myself on the back.

"My illegal patio extension is under attack by terrorists!"

"FBI, my railings are being totally cyberbullied right now!"

I hate him.

I really hope the most joyless, rules-lawyering, pedantic, obnoxious lickspittle city worker that they’ve got nails him to the wall.

Good start but you have to go full nigger or you'll get nigmogged constantly. Get that malt liquor and stuff an illegal firearm down your pants and go outnigger to the extreme!

It’s a fascinating scientific problem on a physics test: his fat exerts a gravitational pull on the coffee, that would ordinarily be inescapable. The coffee, however, is repulsed by his very essence and resists this pull. What is the slope of the deck?

He brings absolutely everything upon himself and goes out of his way to be as much of a caustic asshole as possible. I hope he never changes, he brings me so much joy.

I wish I was retarded so I could have massive debt and eat slop every day and not lose a wink of sleep over it.

Hey, don’t criticize my only joy as an upstairs neighbor! I’m gonna drop my metal water bottle three extra times this morning just for this.

Wait, that's the "Before Ring Curse" pic? Jebus...

 

[Path Wanderer]

Yes, but when will we get the butthole shot?

“You bastard! You ate my GOO and this is the thanks you give me?”

I remember thinking, wow what a fucking loser. In hindsight he was probably better than what they have now.

He's probably a tranny now though.

 

[Secret Boots]

Don’t worry, all those names identify as two syllables so it’s okay

 

[Mound Dweller]

Oh so like you're doing right now? And like you've been doing about me each time you frame me as a fucking pedo the last few months?

it means they're calling you a fucking pedophile that draws child porn.

You literally keep pussyfooting around and denying the fact someone claiming I draw porn of little boys=pedophile accusation.

the pfp you switched to is explicitly spawned from a message saying I "draw little boy porn". If you don't count "CLAIMING SOMEONE DRAWS PORN OF LITTLE BOYS" as framing them as a pedophile you are either a fucking retard or a legitimate fucking pedophile trying to smokescreen for internet clout.

Ended up collapsing and waking up just now unintentionally meaning my deadline for 8PM today on a specific thing that was timegated isn't gonna be able to get done this month or maybe even this year and I'm being pinged by people that set their pfp to the shit meant to frame me as a pedo. I should not have woken up

EDIT: Because some faggot responsible for prolifferating the pedo claim shit is shitting up another thread saying this is "suicide bait" I'm going to point out the obvious of "Should have stayed asleep and saved myself the frustration".

fuck off if you're gonna take the side of the gayops niggers legitimately I have 0 fucking tolerance for being framed as a pedo especially when it's a gaggle of loosely tied gayops niggers pussyfooting around shit for months on end

after I light heartedly called them out on really gay shit they were pulling a few times calling me a tranny/pedo in various threads while also spam-rating me.

Are you niggers getting marching orders fromt he new gayops dm because one of you keeps shitting up this one with gooner shit and the other's constantly framing me as a pedo with some unfunny shit after kicking me from another mass dm

Also for context it wasn't the ratings but the weird claims of me being a pedo/tranny/drawing child porn combined with it.

No it was because of the accusation of me drawing child porn after several other comments in other places

 

[Dante Alighieri]

the best movie that warwick davis could ever star in is a snuff video

 

[Tablet County]

lol get a load of this guy, having a loving family and not being mad about women. unbelievable

 

[Meat Target]

Imagine being so insufferable your husband starts taking it up the ass just to get away from you

 

[Gog & Magog]

Shame on you for not restructuring your life and performing to the exacting standards of a thousand random retards on the Internet giving their unsolicited opinions

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

I'd kill myself too if i was Kris

Let's give the chronic masturbator fucking meth, that'll work out great.

 

[Tablet County]

'Tony, I'm going to rape your wife, I'm going to rape all your grandchildren, and the next time you go out of town, I'm going to kill them,'

Who starts a conversation with that?

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

They would DEFINITELY not enjoy getting vored if some old grandpa at a crack den eats them alive

FLAWLESS ORANGE(fomrely onion) WIN

The amount you'd have to pay me to sit in that car with them for the whole trip would be more than enough for me to buy my own car and drive away.

Susan could pretty much use Jaimie as a studio apartment.

Got me thunking - run this shit for say a week, and once you're bored but hopefully honed in your spices - just reduce/evap the damn thing, scrape your flavor powder and then either rehydrate it next time or snort it.

Reminds me of this one super active moderator on Wikipedia who also had a weird obsession with adding alternative links to the article for breast. Like, he'd create articles called MAMABOOZAS just for them to relink to 'breasts'. There was upwards of like 30.

even though i dont really like the israeli government and jew lobbies in the us reddit whining about israel gives me a headache and makes me wanna take a galil and massacre a palestinian family

muh genocide the fucking a-rabs wanna behead you faggots and force your faggot butt buddy to watch

fuck reddit fuck the israeli government fuck islam and fuck sickos

i hate libshit double standards when it comes to islam they all hate women and gays why support them???

praise muslims who are converts to christ you have a place in my middle eastern christian ethnostate the rest can go to indonesia for all i care!

>"we must agree to civility in all discussions because the only thing I can't stand is being called an absolute retarded faggot"

What absolutely stuns me about that one is someone tagged that man as having a dewlap.

They're not wrong.

Huge shoutout to the guys doing swastikas IRL, but the power of racism paled before the power of horse pussy.

America should just be endless German Breweries, French bakeries, and like...I dunno, a fuckin Greggs, just the one in the middle.

I would say crater but the retard cube in Saudi Arabia is a better spot for it

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

The beatings will continue until morality improves.