- Dołączono
- 17 Sty 2014
Is there a way we can be sure you are who you say you are? We've had impersonators show up before.
PeterJQuill/AutisticStarlord
- Twórca wątku osooolemiiio
- Data rozpoczęcia
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🇵🇦 Nuestro primer dominio localizado está en español en kiwifarms.pa. Our first localized domain is on Spanish on kiwifarms.pa.
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- Dołączono
- 10 Gru 2014
Hi there! Point about pronouns taken. There's nothing inherently wrong about being mentally ill (trust me, so am I) nor is there anything wrong about having coping mechanisms as long as you understand that's what they are - and I now see that you clearly do. Personally, I'm glad you decided to drop by - you seem well-spoken.
DirtbagDeluxe
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 17 Cze 2014
Diagnosis for delusional disorders typically requires that there has been a delusion persisting for up to 1 month. What you are describing sounds like anxiety, which can breed panic, which then breeds irrational beliefs in the moment. Delusions are persistent in nature.
I'm not necessarily calling bullshit on your long laundry list of disorders. But it might be to your benefit to do some research, if you're associating symptoms with the incorrect diagnosis. Might do a lot to help you organize your behaviour and treatment in the future if you have a better grasp on their roots.
Eponine
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 12 Gru 2014
This is something you'll urgently need, then. It sucks to have parents that are anti-LGBT (if their religious beliefs extend to that), but a policy against doctors? Ugh. :S
Have you tried a school counselor?
PoorlyAgingLettuce
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 14 Gru 2014
I would liken what Splash is talking about with dissociation, delusions and paranoia as being similar to when people who have irrational fears willfully acknowledge they are irrational, absurd, and even comical but then HOLY SHIT FUCK IS THAT A FUCKING SPIDER FUCK FUCK
What I mean here is that these fears, delusions and paranoia that people experience often seem comical even to those who experience or have them until they are triggered. Then they become very real, very scary and they absolutely cannot be avoided or stopped by thinking "Huh, is this rational?" until long after the matter has passed and the trigger is gone.
Disclaimer: I'm not actually afraid of spiders, I was just using that as a common example.
Oh by the way, I am thehearthdemon. Just thought I would pop in and I'm glad misconceptions are being cleared up.
What I mean here is that these fears, delusions and paranoia that people experience often seem comical even to those who experience or have them until they are triggered. Then they become very real, very scary and they absolutely cannot be avoided or stopped by thinking "Huh, is this rational?" until long after the matter has passed and the trigger is gone.
Disclaimer: I'm not actually afraid of spiders, I was just using that as a common example.
Oh by the way, I am thehearthdemon. Just thought I would pop in and I'm glad misconceptions are being cleared up.
When I last talked to a doctor (it was awhile ago to be fair) I was told I was delusional because of anxiety disorder, which isn't uncommon. That being said I've been told I can use the term delusional since, like I just explained am delusional because of anxiety.
When I last saw a school counselor I was required to tell my parents and got in trouble, although I've been thinking about trying again and this time stressing the importance of staying secretive.
Eponine
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 12 Gru 2014
This would probably be a good idea.
A few more Qs:
What is your situation with your parents? Are you on okay terms with them?
Do you intend on moving out/transitioning when you are able?
(Don't feel compelled to answer anything you'd rather not :p)
X
XH 502
Guest
kiwifarms.net
I refer back to my first post in this thread on page one and assert that including your disease(s) as part of your personal identity is only going to hurt you immensely. I gave a more thorough explanation as to the "why" there. You know what, here (and I don't know what pronouns to use, please don't let that stop you from reading):
Now, I'm no stranger to disabling diseases. I know I've talked about my schizophrenia in the Jace subforum, but it's relevant here too. Speaking from personal experience, yes, living every day with a crippling disease IS a struggle. Even with medication and therapy the voices only grow quieter instead of falling silent. I'm always at risk for slipping into delusions/hallucinations if I don't take proper care of myself. Even when I'm at my best there are still times where my symptoms get the better of me and I need to excuse myself so I can deal with the issue at hand. While I'll probably have to deal with this disease (and many others) for my entire life that doesn't mean that I want them to dictate everything I do. Yes, I want people around me to understand when I'm having a psychotic episode and know that I have certain needs that help alleviate my symptoms, but my life is not defined by schizophrenia.
So I completely understand that there are symptoms you can't control, but there are steps a person can take to better their situation. This Quill person is cognizant and can identify what her disabilities are. She has the capability to learn how to cope and be healthy in a way that's more effective than "just fucking accept it". Because my impression is that she's not taking steps to take care of herself and is pushing for the world around her to adapt to her personal needs instead.
The thing is, the moment you identify yourself by your disease is the moment said disease "wins". It means you've given up on yourself - on the hopes that you can live a healthier life - and allowed said disease to consume everything you are. What's terrible is that I've historically seen this happen to people who are on the brink of suicide or indulging in extremely self-destructive behavior. There's no reason left for them to fight, so they've succumbed to their disease. This person, however, is wearing this label like a badge of honor. It encourages a toxic perception of personal identity because it inherently requires one to surrender all semblance of control to their diagnosis. This person has enough awareness that they CAN overcome many aspects of their disease, they either don't know that or don't want to try.
So I completely understand that there are symptoms you can't control, but there are steps a person can take to better their situation. This Quill person is cognizant and can identify what her disabilities are. She has the capability to learn how to cope and be healthy in a way that's more effective than "just fucking accept it". Because my impression is that she's not taking steps to take care of herself and is pushing for the world around her to adapt to her personal needs instead.
The thing is, the moment you identify yourself by your disease is the moment said disease "wins". It means you've given up on yourself - on the hopes that you can live a healthier life - and allowed said disease to consume everything you are. What's terrible is that I've historically seen this happen to people who are on the brink of suicide or indulging in extremely self-destructive behavior. There's no reason left for them to fight, so they've succumbed to their disease. This person, however, is wearing this label like a badge of honor. It encourages a toxic perception of personal identity because it inherently requires one to surrender all semblance of control to their diagnosis. This person has enough awareness that they CAN overcome many aspects of their disease, they either don't know that or don't want to try.
I'm on good terms with them and currently live with them. I'll be moving out as soon as I possibly can though. By "good terms" i mean they provide food and housing haha. And I'm not sure about transition mainly because the thought of surgery makes me really anxious but I do.. want the dysphoria to go away, so... ;v;
DirtbagDeluxe
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 17 Cze 2014
Then have at it. I never said you couldn't or even shouldn't. I'm telling you what the medical diagnostic requirements are. It could be our mental health/medical system is different here, but when I work with extreme, real-life examples of the mental illnesses Tumblr likes to throw around (which is not romantic, cool, unique, empowering or exotic), I'm choosy about language. And will probably continue on that way.
@IJustWantToSeeAttachments
I see what you mean, but like.. I can live a normal life. I mean, I can function in society and I have a job and I have friends and I'm not incapable of doing things. But because of mainly lack of access to a doctor I've had to? Figure out my own ways to cope? I guess. Like, I don't have a way to cure my mental illnesses right now, at least not by medical means or even through a therapist (I just talked about this a moment ago). So Ovad's been around for 6 years, since I first showed signs of anxiety and depression really, and he's gotten me through things as disabling as being straight up suicidal.
So I guess, part of the reason why a lot of the time it looks like I "let my mental illnesses win" or something is honestly because I don't have a way to get rid of it, I've been treated like shit for them a lot in the past, and if I can't be proud of them or at least... loud about them? It just makes me feel worse.
I see what you mean, but like.. I can live a normal life. I mean, I can function in society and I have a job and I have friends and I'm not incapable of doing things. But because of mainly lack of access to a doctor I've had to? Figure out my own ways to cope? I guess. Like, I don't have a way to cure my mental illnesses right now, at least not by medical means or even through a therapist (I just talked about this a moment ago). So Ovad's been around for 6 years, since I first showed signs of anxiety and depression really, and he's gotten me through things as disabling as being straight up suicidal.
So I guess, part of the reason why a lot of the time it looks like I "let my mental illnesses win" or something is honestly because I don't have a way to get rid of it, I've been treated like shit for them a lot in the past, and if I can't be proud of them or at least... loud about them? It just makes me feel worse.
Eponine
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 12 Gru 2014
Great! Finding a way out of there and getting to a stable place is the best thing for you. Surgery isn't compulsory if you're fine with binding later (I guess it mostly depends on the size of your chest), but there are other things to think about too, like whether you want to take hormones or not. (I'm post-transition MtF, btw).
I'm sadly not too experienced with otherkin identities. Do you consider yours an integral part of who you are, or a defense mechanism?
X
XH 502
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Honey, I spent nineteen years of my life in that state, and while it may work for you now there WILL come a breaking point where it all falls apart. I created a fantasy life when I was fourteen that had me as some kind of powerful devil-spawn who was going to kill everyone and everything if I didn't maintain control. It was destructive, but it made me feel powerful. Like I mattered. More than that it gave me a reason to keep control over myself. The will to "redeem" my soul kept me from suicide, but when I was nineteen my disease matured and I was hospitalized for the better part of a year because my life collapsed around me.
No, you can't get rid of your mental illness, but you can find healthy ways to overcome it without subscribing to the symptoms in the process. Don't be proud of these diseases, be proud that you have the strength to live with them. That is the key thing here: personal pride.
In reality, though, the best thing for you would be to see a good therapist. Your age and lack of parental involvement makes that much more difficult, though. I don't know your situation, but for the time being try to find that personal pride I talked about.
This is what I was trying to say though. Like, when i say I'm proud of my tic disorder I don't mean that I'm "subscribing to the symptoms", I mean that I've been made fun of for it and harassed for it a lot in the past and I've come to terms with the fact that I have it and I'm happy with myself despite it, if that makes sense! And I agree 100% that I need a good therapist, I'm really hoping to get ahold of one soon honestly.
- Dołączono
- 5 Lip 2013
I am genderfluid myself and recently have learned why it is that I switch from one gender to another each day. I'm still learning about this and would like more literature as in books about dealing with this. I personally would prefer to be referred to by female pronouns simply because I am used to it and it makes it easier for someone to remember. If I am really having a time that I want to be referred by male pronouns I would say so but I wouldn't really beat someone over the head about it and guilt that person. No, I'm not expecting any kind of special treatment here and really don't care about getting special treatment. There's things that I wanted to say about Chris and his gender identity but did not because I felt that I would be dogpiled or something.
Genderfluid, from what I have read is a real thing and I have gone to a few transgender meetings and it's opened my eyes a lot and given me insight into myself.
I have a Tumblr but I absolutely loathe being a special snowflake as my mother has constantly told me that the world doesn't revolve around me and that's the problem that I see with people like this person, Vade and other Tumblrinas is that they have been raised, coddled and told that they were special.
I'm really wondering why you bothered to bring me back into. this. Like, did you not read the rest of the conversation that just took place? Plus, my gender identity is literally just "agender" and that's not at all considered a "special gender" or anything, it's pretty common and all it means is that I don't identify with male or female really.
DirtbagDeluxe
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 17 Cze 2014