PeterJQuill/AutisticStarlord

[DirtbagDeluxe]

@SPLASH I'm interested in the mental gymnastics behind this post.

Namely, why you tagged it with 'pedophilia'.

 

[Meowthkip]

Er, this isn't something I can exactly source, it... Shouldn't have to be? Like not to be rude but it's based on logic: I mean if you want to look into dysphoria and how that works you can but it's just that those who are dysphoric can be as much as suicidal or self harm bc of hating their body and "assigned gender" so much so to be called the wrong gender can remind them of how much they hate themselves/their body. So it can cause self harm and suicidal ideation.

There's pretty hard data on the suicide rates among transgender people. But I think the causes go way beyond being misgendered on a forum by strangers.

 

[SPLASH]

There's pretty hard data on the suicide rates among transgender people. But I think the causes go way beyond being misgendered on a forum by strangers.

Thanks for getting links - I was on mobile earlier and I couldn't. But you're right, of course, misgendering isn't the number one cause of suicide among trans people, at least not on it's own. But it's definitely a contributor - like, that, combined with everything else trans people often face. Besides, I didn't (or at least I didn't meant to?) say that misgendering alone causes suicide, I said it was detrimental to their health.

@SPLASH I'm interested in the mental gymnastics behind this post.

Namely, why you tagged it with 'pedophilia'.

The tag was for my followers - I'm mutuals with a good number of CSA survivors (I'm an abuse survivor myself but not of the physical kind) and I thought that the possible implications (not saying you were implying this, but that it could be inferred by someone else) behind a nearly 40 year old commenting on a teenager's appearance while insulting him wouldn't sit well with them? I tag whatever is asked of me, so I tag "caps", "nsfw text", "long post", "body horror", and other things that I don't personally need or feel required to tag because others have asked me too.

But honestly, i didn't bring this up before but imo everything that had to do with my appearance on this forum was out of line. It didn't personally offend me, hell you guys actually complimented how I looked most of the time, but I do at least wish there was some acknowledgement that posting a minor's pictures and commenting about how "he's not ugly" or "he's pretty cute" is really creepy and pretty out of line. I know for a fact that unless you lie about your age you have to be an adult to sign up here, and it's one thing to be making fun of a minor but to repost pictures that he's taken and then comment on if he is or isn't attractive reaches a new level of sort of,, ickyness, imo

Edit: Oh, also, you might've noticed, my "reblog this" tag isn't necessarily telling people they have to reblog the post (I know that sounds really contradictory omg). I originally used it as a tag for things I wanted to be signal boosted but now it just means a post that's... okay to reblog really.

 

[Meowthkip]

The tag was for my followers - I'm mutuals with a good number of CSA survivors (I'm an abuse survivor myself but not of the physical kind) and I thought that the possible implications (not saying you were implying this, but that it could be inferred by someone else) behind a nearly 40 year old commenting on a teenager's appearance while insulting him wouldn't sit well with them?

But honestly, i didn't bring this up before but imo everything that had to do with my appearance on this forum was out of line. It didn't personally offend me, hell you guys actually complimented how I looked most of the time, but I do at least wish there was some acknowledgement that posting a minor's pictures and commenting about how "he's not ugly" or "he's pretty cute" is really creepy and pretty out of line. I know for a fact that unless you lie about your age you have to be an adult to sign up here, and it's one thing to be making fun of a minor but to repost pictures that he's taken and then comment on if he is or isn't attractive reaches a new level of sort of,, ickyness, imo

None of the comments were in any way sexual in nature. Am I to take it that we are to abstain from commenting on the cuteness of any minor on the internet for fear of being interpreted as pedophiles?

That comes off as pretty alarmist to me.

 

[Dilligaff]

Oh, I didn't post the photo of you, and I didn't mean to be creepy, I meant to be complimentary! I'm sorry. I wasn't disappointed in your appearance one way or the other, and certainly had nothing even remotely sexual in mind. Any mocking I did was based on behavior I perceived from what other people had copied and pasted here in the forums.
Also, @SPLASH, you could confront me here directly, you know. I've said several times that I've changed my mind and you seem to be pretty reasonable person. If you're worried about people piling on you, well, I'm new and no one has any reason to side with me at all.

 

[autism420]

Er, this isn't something I can exactly source, it... Shouldn't have to be?

I'm trying to find a way to respond to this and not be outright rude, but I'm having a very hard time.

Hurting yourself because a stranger on the internet misgendered you is very, very childish and immature. I understand that we are talking about people with mental issues here, but you can't expect the world to stop spinning for you.

You say that you don't need to cite a source because "logic". That makes no sense. The only logical thing to do when someone says something that pisses you off is to disregard it and go on with your life.

Still you claim that misgendering people contributes to the suicide rate. I have yet to see anything that backs this up. Ya, maybe if someone you see every day is harassing you about it, I could see someone who has issues hurting themselves then. But a random person on the internet? Please.

But honestly, i didn't bring this up before but imo everything that had to do with my appearance on this forum was out of line. It didn't personally offend me, hell you guys actually complimented how I looked most of the time, but I do at least wish there was some acknowledgement that posting a minor's pictures and commenting about how "he's not ugly" or "he's pretty cute" is really creepy and pretty out of line. I know for a fact that unless you lie about your age you have to be an adult to sign up here, and it's one thing to be making fun of a minor but to repost pictures that he's taken and then comment on if he is or isn't attractive reaches a new level of sort of,, ickyness, imo

Protip: if you don't want people to discuss things they find on the internet, don't put it on the internet.

 

[Meowthkip]

Video related?

 

[Dilligaff]

Protip: if you don't want people to discuss things they find on the internet, don't put it on the internet.

Thank you. A thousand times this.

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

The tag was for my followers - I'm mutuals with a good number of CSA survivors (I'm an abuse survivor myself but not of the physical kind) and I thought that the possible implications (not saying you were implying this, but that it could be inferred by someone else) behind a nearly 40 year old commenting on a teenager's appearance while insulting him wouldn't sit well with them? I tag whatever is asked of me, so I tag "caps", "nsfw text", "long post", "body horror", and other things that I don't personally need or feel required to tag because others have asked me too.

But honestly, i didn't bring this up before but imo everything that had to do with my appearance on this forum was out of line. It didn't personally offend me, hell you guys actually complimented how I looked most of the time, but I do at least wish there was some acknowledgement that posting a minor's pictures and commenting about how "he's not ugly" or "he's pretty cute" is really creepy and pretty out of line. I know for a fact that unless you lie about your age you have to be an adult to sign up here, and it's one thing to be making fun of a minor but to repost pictures that he's taken and then comment on if he is or isn't attractive reaches a new level of sort of,, ickyness, imo

Edit: Oh, also, you might've noticed, my "reblog this" tag isn't necessarily telling people they have to reblog the post (I know that sounds really contradictory omg). I originally used it as a tag for things I wanted to be signal boosted but now it just means a post that's... okay to reblog really.

Edit: awww, she's not ugly. Also doesn't look like she has any obvious East Asian ancestry, but that's neither here nor there.

There is absolutely nothing sexual about that sentence. Don't casually throw around the word 'pedophile': having that attached to your name can cause a lot of problems.

 

[Eponine]

Still you claim that misgendering people contributes to the suicide rate. I have yet to see anything that backs this up.

I am not surprised by this in the least. As someone who has already gone through hormonal transition and is no longer really gender-ambiguous, any misgender now would be catastrophic. During early transition, my composure in public practically hinged on people not being asswipes.

 

[Dilligaff]

@SPLASH Oh, I see where you thought I was disappointed. Totally not what I meant at all. You know, I'm not going to bother to explain it. I'd hate to seem even MORE like a pedo.

 

[autism420]

I am not surprised by this in the least. As someone who has already gone through hormonal transition and is no longer really gender-ambiguous, any misgender now would be catastrophic. During early transition, my composure in public practically hinged on people not being asswipes.

Even by a random person on the internet who would have no real-world interaction with you whatsoever?

 

[DirtbagDeluxe]

The tag was for my followers - I'm mutuals with a good number of CSA survivors (I'm an abuse survivor myself but not of the physical kind) and I thought that the possible implications (not saying you were implying this, but that it could be inferred by someone else) behind a nearly 40 year old commenting on a teenager's appearance while insulting him wouldn't sit well with them? I tag whatever is asked of me, so I tag "caps", "nsfw text", "long post", "body horror", and other things that I don't personally need or feel required to tag because others have asked me too.

For someone so sensitive about language, I'm dubious you don't see the difference between 'nsfw' tags and calling someone a pedophile. That's a pretty serious thing to call someone when you have absolutely zero evidence, especially on a site notorious for call-outs and insane drama festivals all because somebody coughed.

 

[Black Dice]

Hurting yourself because a stranger on the internet misgendered you is very, very childish and immature. I understand that we are talking about people with mental issues here, but you can't expect the world to stop spinning for you.

You say that you don't need to cite a source because "logic". That makes no sense. The only logical thing to do when someone says something that pisses you off is to disregard it and go on with your life.

This is going off purely what Splash just said, rather than having any outside knowledge of this issue, but you seem to be ignoring the fairly straightforward reasoning in that post. Splash put it as 'to be called the wrong gender can remind them of how much they hate themselves/their body' - which blatantly goes way beyond just 'pisses you off', or 'you expect the world to stop spinning for you'.
In fact...that reads like you're wilfully distorting the problem to make it seem more absurd.

(Weird first post, I tend to lurk but felt this was worth pointing out.)

 

[autism420]

This is going off purely what Splash just said, rather than having any outside knowledge of this issue, but you seem to be ignoring the fairly straightforward reasoning in that post. Splash put it as 'to be called the wrong gender can remind them of how much they hate themselves/their body' - which blatantly goes way beyond just 'pisses you off', or 'you expect the world to stop spinning for you'.
In fact...that reads like you're wilfully distorting the problem to make it seem more absurd.

(Weird first post, I tend to lurk but felt this was worth pointing out.)

The argument Splash made was "misgendering causes suicide". Splash then states that we should take that as fact, because Splash says so.

Sorry, but that is not conclusive evidence for me.

 

[Rung]

But honestly, i didn't bring this up before but imo everything that had to do with my appearance on this forum was out of line. It didn't personally offend me, hell you guys actually complimented how I looked most of the time, but I do at least wish there was some acknowledgement that posting a minor's pictures and commenting about how "he's not ugly" or "he's pretty cute" is really creepy and pretty out of line. I know for a fact that unless you lie about your age you have to be an adult to sign up here, and it's one thing to be making fun of a minor but to repost pictures that he's taken and then comment on if he is or isn't attractive reaches a new level of sort of,, ickyness, imo

Just some advice, if you're a minor, just don't post pictures at all on blogging platforms. As it can lead to some gross stuff, But this can me being pretty jaded, but if a stranger said "eh they're not ugly" or "they're cute", it's much better than "I wanna stick my pickle in her china" like some comment's i've seen on certain sites. Tumblr may be your hugbox/'safe place', but it ain't private.

And echoing Dirtbagdeluxe, don't call someone a pedo if there's no evidence. People's lives and careers have died due to people (ESPECIALLY on tumblr, god they're notorious for this) giving out misinformation or unsourced rumors and spreading it around.

 

[SPLASH]

Also, @SPLASH, you could confront me here directly, you know. I've said several times that I've changed my mind and you seem to be pretty reasonable person. If you're worried about people piling on you, well, I'm new and no one has any reason to side with me at all.

Yeah, that was before I made an account. Sorry about that tbh. You've seemed nice and I didn't mean to outright call you a pedophile. I tried to explain that i was tagging it because of the possible implications but it it was pretty fucked up admittedly, yeah. But at the same time, sexual or not it does feel weird for adults who, like I said, are nearly as old as my mother to be reposting my photos and talking about how attractive I am? Like, it's just weird.

And I mean, I said it was okay to reblog the pictures, and I know there were other adults complimenting me too, but the fact that this forum was used only to insult me and then you switched to complimenting me made me feel even weirder.

But again, the tag was uncalled for and I'm sorry.

But a random person on the internet? Please.

I don't want to be hostile on this forum, but,, look, this is a ridiculous thing for you to argue about, especially seeing as you aren't trans as far as I'm aware? Misgendering is outright saying you don't acknowledge someone as their gender? Like, if it's an accident that's okay, or if you aren't out to them, but if you're purposely using pronouns that are saying "you aren't the gender you say you are and I won't respect you" it is almost guaranteed to caused dysphoria. You can ask any trans person and 9/10 times they'll agree. Dysphoria itself is detrimental to their health, and misgendering will almost definitely cause it.

I said for me it causes me to be suicidal. For many it can cause self harm or panic attacks. It depends, but it will almost always effect them negatively somehow, which was all I said (I used the phrase "detrimental to their health")

I found this article, if it helps. It's kinda long but it talks about the importance of using the right pronouns and the history behind misgendering
http://www.commdiginews.com/life/pronouns-matter-misgendering-transgender-persons-11985/

 

[Eponine]

Even by a random person on the internet who would have no real-world interaction with you whatsoever?

It's different online, when people only really misgender us if they know we are trans and either troll or do it out of lack of understanding.
Offline, it's much more personal, since being misgendered tells the trans person in question that they weren't passing well enough. It stings the least early on in the transition (when trans people tend to be at their most androgynous), and snowballs as time passes and the new gender presentation becomes commonplace. The dysphoria response is pretty strong, either way.

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

Yeah, that was before I made an account. Sorry about that tbh. You've seemed nice and I didn't mean to outright call you a pedophile. I tried to explain that i was tagging it because of the possible implications but it it was pretty fucked up admittedly, yeah. But at the same time, sexual or not it does feel weird for adults who, like I said, are nearly as old as my mother to be reposting my photos and talking about how attractive I am? Like, it's just weird.

And I mean, I said it was okay to reblog the pictures, and I know there were other adults complimenting me too, but the fact that this forum was used only to insult me and then you switched to complimenting me made me feel even weirder.

But again, the tag was uncalled for and I'm sorry.

First of all, Dilligaff did not repost the pictures.
Second, she said 'your not ugly,' not 'HOT 10/10 WUD SIZZOR!!!1!!'
Get your head out of your butt, kid.

 

[Colress]

splash, you know that you can call someone cute without being weird about it right? i'm pretty sure it was in a calling a little kid playing cute, or like when you see a kitten and think oh thats cute.