JOHN DOE (Chirayu Rana) v. JPMORGAN CHASE & CO., AND LORNA HAJDINI (New York County New York, index number 155620/2026) - The case where a 6 foot Indian Greer wants us to believe he was raped by an Albanian woman to the point he cried, gave us the line "I bet your little Asian, fish head, wife doesn’t have these cannons!", certified gem suit

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So I'm to believe not only is this wealthy, successful woman who's surrounded by alleged so-called "white men" raped a dude who looks like Nosferatu, but that the guy she raped is an Indian who DIDN'T want to fuck a white girl? Okay, Jan...
Saar, saar

he is brhamin, very much original ariyan

he created america and invented the hamburger

Saar, you would be very lucky to have him as a brother in law, saar, he will fuck your sister and your mother, you bloody bitch! FUCK YOU BLOODY FUCKER

There's a term out there for when you're too stupid to realize you don't know anything about a topic, the Dunning Kruger effect. I promise a Jeet version. The Jeets are too stupid to realize they're not smart enough to understand the cultures they try to scam, which makes their scams fail.

It's like how I realized COVID19 was a scam when the shit coming out of China turned to "OH MY GOD IT WILL TURN YOU INTO A NEGRO!" Complete with two Chinamen in bed with blackface on. Ok, that's... propaganda, aimed at Americans, based on what they THINK Americans would be scared of / find believable.

That's what most Jeet scams look like nowadays to me. They're cargo culting our society, they don't understand any of it because 74 average IQ (literally more retarded than the Negros), and the only people it works on is the fucking Boomers who love getting their anus tickled from a professional asskisser.

With this in mind, I'm sure there have been countless smaller variants of this. It's just this particular shitgolem's izzat caused him to escalate this way past where it would normally go, it went public instead of being kept internal by friendly HR departments (if they had a Jeet HR department the company would have already settled with him for a few million), etc etc.

Frankly, I expect him to go on a murder-suicide spree to save his Izzat soon.
 
I'm not a fan of the judge telling everyone that it would be really nice if they just settle this outside of court.
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I mean basically this is a result of the US legal system not being able to handle Jeets. We have all kinds of protections in place for various things we have dealt with for hundreds of years. There is a reason you can't transfer funds to your wife right before you lose a big case and have to pay up. But Jeets are a whole other level of retarded scheming and stupidity.

Like ideally this case should just be settled on it's face because everyone is supposed to be very businesslike and professional and rather than wasting more time and more money it would be better to just hammer out some kind of settlement to save money and time and be done with it. But there is a Jeet in the ointment. Jeets do not function like normal people.

This case is great on so many levels. It's great because we get to watch a Jeet get absolutely humiliated. Then we also get to watch him humiliate himself further so he can pretend that he isn't getting humiliated, and the harder he gets humiliated the worse it'll be when this retarded jeet doubles down. But we also get to watch all these retarded liberal people come into contact with jeetery. They cannot realize that Jeets just are that way, and so they'll keep making bad decisions.

chefs kiss
 
Kaiser declined to cite any specific cases where a person was permitted to remain anonymous despite the world already knowing his name
I know he doesn't care because he's already peaced the fuck out of the case, but how is what is being proposed even hypothetically supposed to work, now everyone already knows who Rana the Raped is? Are we all going to get Men in Black'd with the memory wiper?
The Jeets are too stupid to realize they're not smart enough to understand the cultures they try to scam, which makes their scams fail.
I think the decades they spent running call center scams on the elderly and otherwise bewildered emboldened them to think all white people are as clueless as your 85yo gram gram who types full sentences into Google (with two fingers) and earnestly believes John from Microsoft really needs those Walmart gift cards, ma'am.

I'm only surprised it's taken this long for a lolsuit like this to happen, but given how crazy it is I'd say it's been worth the wait.
 
How do you walk away from the guy who tried to hide from publicly calling you a rapist, racist, other people at JPMC racist, and JPMC knew all about this and gave everyone a crisp high five for their hard work of racist raping?
I imagine this is why Hajdini specifically filed the countersuit since she's the one here who's got the most to lose, so even if JP Morgan tries to settle out of court she'll still have a chance to publicly prove her innocence. Like if you've followed this case at all then you know that Rana the Raped is a lying liar who lies but if a potential employer/date/etc just googled her in passing then it could still be really damaging.

This whole thing is like brand new method of reverse sexual harassment, like imagine being Hajdini and having to go into the office right after the does your fishhead wife have these bazonga canons came out. Rana the Raped truly cannot suffer enough.
 
I imagine this is why Hajdini specifically filed the countersuit since she's the one here who's got the most to lose, so even if JP Morgan tries to settle out of court she'll still have a chance to publicly prove her innocence. Like if you've followed this case at all then you know that Rana the Raped is a lying liar who lies but if a potential employer/date/etc just googled her in passing then it could still be really damaging.

This whole thing is like brand new method of reverse sexual harassment, like imagine being Hajdini and having to go into the office right after the does your fishhead wife have these bazonga canons came out. Rana the Raped truly cannot suffer enough.
What is really juicy is reputational harm in the circles Hajdini moves in is something that can be quantified in the millions of dollars. This is not the sort of defamation that can be made whole by a hundred thousand bucks. New York also does not have a cap on defamation lawsuit judgements like in Virginia with the the Depp lawsuit. I can easily see a 20 million dollar judgement from this, just in actual damages. Punitive damages could be piled on. Rana is facing a life destroying debt.
 
Does Hajdini have big tits?
The only photos that have gone around are headshots but she's quite pretty. It's really interesting that he chose to name a purely lateral coworker when his entire narrative hinges on the accused harasser being a supervisor. Pure speculation, but I wonder if she turned him down (even unknowingly but he perceived a slight) and this is how he chose to redeem.
 
What is really juicy is reputational harm in the circles Hajdini moves in is something that can be quantified in the millions of dollars. This is not the sort of defamation that can be made whole by a hundred thousand bucks. New York also does not have a cap on defamation lawsuit judgements like in Virginia with the the Depp lawsuit. I can easily see a 20 million dollar judgement from this, just in actual damages. Punitive damages could be piled on. Rana is facing a life destroying debt.
Her countersuit already claims she lost a large, long-term client due to the accusations. She would likely be able to put an actual dollar amount on what her fees and commissions would have been for another 10-15 years of that client, not to mention any future clients that would have potentially come from that relationship.

The worst part about all of this, is Rana will be too radioactive for any reputable financial company to touch which means no matter the judgement, Hajdini isn't likely to see much of it. Especially since he can just fuck off back to Nepal to start collecting Google Play gift cards from geriatrics.
 
Her countersuit already claims she lost a large, long-term client due to the accusations. She would likely be able to put an actual dollar amount on what her fees and commissions would have been for another 10-15 years of that client, not to mention any future clients that would have potentially come from that relationship.

The worst part about all of this, is Rana will be too radioactive for any reputable financial company to touch which means no matter the judgement, Hajdini isn't likely to see much of it. Especially since he can just fuck off back to Nepal to start collecting Google Play gift cards from geriatrics.
Apparently hes an American citizen. I dunno how Nepals citizenship laws work. Maybe because his parents are Nepalese he can get citizenship or permanent residence status there. However, Nepal is not a western country, and non western countries have pretty strict immigration laws. Especially ethnic states like Nepal.

The worst part about all of this, is Rana will be too radioactive for any reputable financial company to touch which means no matter the judgement
True. But in the immortal words of a wise man "its not about the money, its about sending a message." Right now if anyone Google searches her name, its in relation to this lying liars porn fiction. A record setting judgement would do a lot towards repairing that damage, even if she doesnt collect from him directly.
 
I know he doesn't care because he's already peaced the fuck out of the case
My opinion is he was so lame at the appearance because he literally thought they'd just be "oh OK, you're not on the case any more" and tell Rana they'd see him in 60 days, and he (Kaiser) didn't think he'd be appearing at all. Hadjini's lawyers are earning whatever astronomical fee they're charging.

And whether or not Rana is radioactive after this, a ginormous, life-altering punitive judgment would ensure that even if Rana was reduced to selling candy bars and tissue packs on the subway, Hadjini could attach 50% of it. Ron Goldman's father never let O.J. Simpson earn a cent without going back to court to get his share.
 
My opinion is he was so lame at the appearance because he literally thought they'd just be "oh OK, you're not on the case any more" and tell Rana they'd see him in 60 days, and he (Kaiser) didn't think he'd be appearing at all. Hadjini's lawyers are earning whatever astronomical fee they're charging
I dont know why Kaiser thought he could get out of putting in an appearance. Yeah, Rana is pushing all this bullshit, but it was his name at the end of that shitty Tumblr porn story. Honestly, in a perfect world the New York Bars disciplinary committee will look into this, but they probably wont. Kaiser is the guy who scalped Harvey Weinstein after all.
 
And whether or not Rana is radioactive after this, a ginormous, life-altering punitive judgment would ensure that even if Rana was reduced to selling candy bars and tissue packs on the subway, Hadjini could attach 50% of it. Ron Goldman's father never let O.J. Simpson earn a cent without going back to court to get his share.
I don’t know if Hadjini can come close to what the Goldman family did. You could tell the Goldmans had a blood vendetta against the man who killed Ron. Most families in their position would’ve given up after a decade because of how exhausting it can be to constantly hate someone. But nothing’s going to top what they did with OJ’s book “if I DID IT.” That was peak vindictiveness and you can’t help but respect it.

That being said, Hadjini’s going to be okay. She seems to be handling this pretty well and JP Morgan is getting some good publicity for not throwing her under a bus. Worst case scenario, she gets a better job at a different company.
 
Apparently hes an American citizen. I dunno how Nepals citizenship laws work. Maybe because his parents are Nepalese he can get citizenship or permanent residence status there. However, Nepal is not a western country, and non western countries have pretty strict immigration laws. Especially ethnic states like Nepal.
A cursory search told me that Nepalese citizenship is awarded jus sanguinis, but Nosferatu here would have to renounce his American citizenship. Luckily for him, he can apply for Non-Resident Nepali status, which would allow him to keep his US citizenship while having almost the same rights as a Nepalese citizen for the low price of $520 and proof of one of his parents being born in Nepal.

Non-Indian (no visa needed!) and Nepalese have more stringent requirements like background checks, character clearances, minimum bank balances that need to be met and kept throughout the visa term. But as with most places on the subcontinent, they will protect their own from anything that isn't shallow water, trains, or electricity.
 
That's not jeetspeak, it's old British legal phrasing that some lawyers like to stick with for continuity's sake, like "COMES NOW" or "you and each of you."
It's not some anachronism that some lawyers like to stick to. In an Answer you have to either admit or deny the facts as pled in each paragraph of the complaint, and most jurisdictions have it either explicitly in their rules of civil procedure or established in caselaw that facts not expressly denied are deemed admitted. I'm not giving opposing counsel any free facts I don't have to, especially in a case with these allegations. Any decent attorney will (or at least should) have this sort of language somewhere in their answer, either at the beginning before admitting to the facts in each paragraph or at the very end.

The "Wherefore, Petitioner prays that this Court will....", or "and for further such relief as the Court deems just and equitable in the circumstances" are a few more examples of old british flowery shit that the profession keeps around.
 
It's not some anachronism that some lawyers like to stick to. In an Answer you have to either admit or deny the facts as pled in each paragraph of the complaint, and most jurisdictions have it either explicitly in their rules of civil procedure or established in caselaw that facts not expressly denied are deemed admitted. I'm not giving opposing counsel any free facts I don't have to, especially in a case with these allegations. Any decent attorney will (or at least should) have this sort of language somewhere in their answer, either at the beginning before admitting to the facts in each paragraph or at the very end.
It's true that anything not denied is admitted, but the wording to accomplish that goal isn't so restrictive.
 
I want to see Rana hang himself by the end of this.
I think he can do better than that, I want to see him do some big ridiculous dramatic suicidal gesture like climb on the roof of the JPMorgan HQ (and accidentally fall off and kill himself for real) and leave a note with more banger lines like "your little Asian fish head wife doesn't have these cannons".
 
Two new filings
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The order goes over a few things from the hearing two days ago on the 26th. First is something called "motion sequence 001" and it is denied. Second, Rana the Raped must refile his complaint within 30 days. Third, Lorna and JPMC must file an answer within 20 days of him submitting the new complaint. Fourth, they are coming back to rehash everything again in the same court room on June 23 at 9:30AM. Lastly, Rana must submit a copy of this order to everyone involved, I'm assuming so he doesn't pull a Greee and claim that he's too busy to check his emails to read every court order.
 

Załączniki

Two new filings
Wyświetl załącznik 9067446
The order goes over a few things from the hearing two days ago on the 26th. First is something called "motion sequence 001" and it is denied. Second, Rana the Raped must refile his complaint within 30 days. Third, Lorna and JPMC must file an answer within 20 days of him submitting the new complaint. Fourth, they are coming back to rehash everything again in the same court room on June 23 at 9:30AM. Lastly, Rana must submit a copy of this order to everyone involved, I'm assuming so he doesn't pull a Greee and claim that he's too busy to check his emails to read every court order.
Basically, looks to me like Rana just has to refile under his own name rather then as a John Doe. In theory he can just change the title of the plaintiff at the top and file the exact same complaint. Be curious to see if he does that, or if he makes changes. Be even funnier if he continues to file Pro Se. I cant imagine any attorney in New York wants to be the guy who signs off on his complaint now. Dude is probably getting no replies or returned calls from any law firms he is hitting up.
 
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