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JOHN DOE (Chirayu Rana) v. JPMORGAN CHASE & CO., AND LORNA HAJDINI (New York County New York, index number 155620/2026) - The case where a 6 foot Indian Greer wants us to believe he was raped by an Albanian woman to the point he cried, gave us the line "I bet your little Asian, fish head, wife doesn’t have these cannons!", certified gem suit
HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THIS BADLY?!? HOW DO YOU TAKE A CASE WHERE NONE OF IT IS BASED ON ANY TRUTH?!?! HOW DO YOU NOT LOOK INTO A SINGLE BIT OF YOUR CLIENT'S CLAIMS BEFORE PUTTING THEM AND YOUR NAME TO A LEGAL DOCUMENT?!?! GET SUPER LAWYER MEGA FUCKED, DAN!!!
There appears to be a bit of hang time between when the motions appear in the document list and when the motions are available for download -- it's about 30 minutes. Our super-lawyer wants out (That's #64 -- Rana will appear pro se forthwith) and Mr. Shaulson declares for Team Hajdini on #65. Maria DeCastro, for Team Hajdini, declares her opposition to #64 in #66 --and if she has her way, Rana the Raped won't receive a 60-day adjournment -- 2 PM means 2 PM:
66 powiedział(a):
The Doe Motion hearing should continue as scheduled, and any request for a 60-day (or
any) adjournment should be denied so as to allow Ms. Hajdini to clear her name, including through
evidence that members of the public have been providing since Plaintiff’s identity has been
revealed which undermines Plaintiff’s credibility. Ms. Hajdini should be able to interview
witnesses to prevent harm and clear her name of these heinous falsehoods destroying her life
without being encumbered by any Doe status.
Therefore, Mr. Kaiser should be required to appear today to argue Plaintiff’s Doe Motion,
which should be denied.
CONCLUSION
For all of these reasons, Plaintiff’s counsel should be required to appear today and until the
Court issues a decision on Plaintiff’s Doe Motion
This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. Rana breached his own request for anonymity by granting an interview with a subcontinental expat publication named "The Juggernaut" and when his lawyer understandably was fed up with his client's uncontainable derangement he tried to pull out, but Lorna and JPMC said "hold on a minute nigga, didn't YOU file this lawsuit??"
Our super-lawyer wants out (That's #64 -- Rana will appear pro se forthwith) and Mr. Shaulson declares for Team Hajdini on #65. Maria DeCastro, for Team Hajdini, declares her opposition to #64 in #66 --and if she has her way, Rana the Raped won't receive a 60-day adjournment -- 2 PM means 2 PM:
The "Super Lawyer" tag wins again. Good Lord, at least do SOME background work before showing up to the court house with outlandish claims from your client. Especially when your target is a giant monster like JP Morgan. Dude must have only seen dollar signs and a fat settlement, and didnt stop to think for one minute.
That's not jeetspeak, it's old British legal phrasing that some lawyers like to stick with for continuity's sake, like "COMES NOW" or "you and each of you."
No Stalker Child, we are all here. Everything has been briefed. You don't get to walk away now! Somebody has some "explaining" to do.
*edit* This is from JP Morgan and Hajdini's attorneys btw, asking the judge to not let Daniel Kasier off the hook. I assume whatever comes of it was given orally so we will know shortly if Kaiser did in fact attend.
I wonder if Ranas original attorney dropped him. Very few ways for a lawyer to get out of a client relationship, but the client lying to his lawyer is one of those ways.
While I'm sure this (or some flavor of it) would be his attorney Dan Kaiser's excuse, this is literally every single fucking client of discrimination lawsuits (at least in NYC). Everyone with a *favored race/sex* lies, aggressively and constantly, for a payout. You think companies in NYC, which publicly and flagrantly discriminate against white men to favor minorities and women, are actually discriminating against minorities? Fuck off.
I'd be half open to being persuaded there's discrimination happening in deep south cultures, but NYC companies have been doing privatized reparations for decades. And yet everywhere you turn in manhattan you'll see ads on bus stops and the subway for discrimination lawyers. The demand for minorities with discrimination claims exceeds supply, and so it is backfilled by lies and fabrications.
Only reason Kaiser is dropping out now is the public scrutiny. Obviously this is bullshit, pulled against the wrong defendant with some of the deepest pockets imaginable.
Pro fucking se...pro fucking se...this slimy, Greee walking fuck after all of this shit flinging has no case and no representation. I didn't think I could dislike him more but this call center shit skin found a way.
Pro fucking se...pro fucking se...this slimy, Greee walking fuck after all of this shit flinging has no case and no representation. I didn't think I could dislike him more but this call center shit skin found a way.
Could only be made funnier if she actually did some of what he alleges, but because he's such a retarded, lying jamboy, no one will ever believe him. How does someone like him get a job like that anyway?
Could only be made funnier if she actually did some of what he alleges, but because he's such a retarded, lying jamboy, no one will ever believe him. How does someone like him get a job like that anyway?
At this point I believe he made everything up entirely and if anything untoward happen he made a pass at her, she told him to fuck off and this is some sort of Izzat redemption scheme.
Could only be made funnier if she actually did some of what he alleges, but because he's such a retarded, lying jamboy, no one will ever believe him. How does someone like him get a job like that anyway?
At this point I believe he made everything up entirely and if anything untoward happen he made a pass at her, she told him to fuck off and this is some sort of Izzat redemption scheme.
Just incase you're too much of a dumbass to understand that this article is an interview with THE Chirayu Rana, Rana the Raped, even after he's named, they made their splash image just him copy pasted a bunch of times in two rows. What the article says in full I cannot tell you because it's paywalled in such a way that not even the archive can pierce it. The only way I know to get around it is to sign up with the equivalent of a 2018 Netflix subscription and fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.
Ultimately it doesn't even matter because the article confirms that John Doe IS Rana the Raped. There's no way around it. Rana the Raped ruined any and all chance of keeping his name out of this by giving it to Tulika Bose.
Dollars to Goddamned donuts this New York City she-jeet scored this exclusive interview by telling him she'd open bob and let him have a peek under her cloth if he told her his story. Just so we're extra, super lawyer duper lawyer clear on how fucked he is, this interview dropped on May 21st
30 MINUTES?! I didn't even notice that at first! How much bullshit can he spew to a saarstress that it will take half an hour to read? Back on topic, you'll notice that today is May 26th meaning that this was published 5 days before his hearing and recorded probably a few days to a week before it was published. This faggot was either so stupid or so smug, not that there's much of a difference between the two in this case, that he spilt his beans thinking he'd be safe and that somehow JPMC and Lorna would just show belly. Little did Rana the Raped know that the very day that his story came out would be the same exact day that JPMC and Lorna would dump ass all over his shit suit.
When I labeled this a certified gem suit I really, really, really thought that the mining would only go so far as Rana the Raped's first document but hooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. I cannot believe how this is going and I have no idea where it's gonna go from here.
Holy shit, I’m so glad I decided to catch up on this story today of all days, this just keeps getting better. He’s probably clutching his poonal in fear right now, assuming he’s even capable of understanding how fucked he is.
This may be the hardest and fastest I’ve ever seen an act of pure, unrestrained izzat blow up in someone’s face like this. He will never redeem from this.
Appearing resigned and unprepared, Kaiser declined to cite any specific cases where a person was permitted to remain anonymous despite the world already knowing his name, arguing that the nature of the allegations should be sufficient to permit his confidentiality in court filings.
“I’m not aware of one,” Kaiser conceded, citing no case law or precedent supporting his request, but argued future confidentiality may still be protected once “interest will fade” in the case.
HE IS RESIGNED!
HE IS UNPREPARED!
HE IS NOT AWARE!
LMAO! Suffah!
A JP Morgan spokesperson declined to comment on Rana’s latest legal headache, but reiterated that the firm has no intention of settling the matter, noting that the bank has maintained from the outset that the allegations are without merit..
Certified "oof" moment. Dude is fucked. Certifiably cooked as the kids say.
tfw you have to mutually end your partnership because you didn't do an ounce of work.
And yes, they bring up the interview with the she-jeet and her publication by name.
What the fuck did Rana the Raped think was gonna happen? I almost want to believe that he tried to purposefully sink this case by screwing around and making it a mistrial but that doesn't make sense because it makes a modicum of sense if you assume he's stupid. He's not just stupid. He's a jeet. It's like he thought he's invincible as long as he faced it like a train. We know how well that works out for his kind.
I'm not a fan of the judge telling everyone that it would be really nice if they just settle this outside of court.
I remember years ago, back when I still had esteem for them, Nick Rekieta and Ty Beard both talking about how judges really hate to litigate and really, really, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally want you to settle so they don't have to do anything. I have no idea how you look at this and go "Mean things were said so lets try to work out our differences together!" What is this conflict resolution bullshit? Did she not even read what Rana and his lawyer wrote down? How do you walk away from the guy who tried to hide from publicly calling you a rapist, racist, other people at JPMC racist, and JPMC knew all about this and gave everyone a crisp high five for their hard work of racist raping?
Unfortunately for us, Rana the Raped was a no show for the hearing where his own lawyer went fuck this shit I'm out. The next date to look forward to is June 23. We'll see how many filings there are between here and there.
"Chi-...Chira-...RANA! Listen! It's not my problem anymore. No, we cannot talk about it and I'm telling you to not come to our office ever again. We've already put out wading pools at the entrance so it'll be a death sentence if you try. R-Ranna I know your uncle doesn't work at the pool factory because that's not a thing."
