Operation Tupacalypse Eli's mom finds out about Tupacalypse

[Power Word]

Why is his mom freaking out? Saying you're in Israel is like saying you're in Narnia.
Wishful thinking won't make it a real place.

 

[XYZpdq]

What are you trying to say?

Oh, you must have missed the thread.
Null came out and explained that Israel was all one big elaborate trolling plan.

 

[Morbid Boredom]

Why is his mom freaking out? Saying you're in Israel is like saying you're in Narnia.
Wishful thinking won't make it a real place.

What are you trying to say?

DERKA DERKA DERKA WE ARE ISLAMS! ISRAEL IS WESTERN MYTH JACE WILL 9/11!

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

If Eli's parents call the cops, like any sane people would, shit is going to get deep. Multiple felony deep. Can you imagine the clusterfuck as the three of these twits try to toss each other under the buss.

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

Im guessing it will be more like a collossal YOUNG MAN!!!!! which will flatten mountains like a tsunami

Even the skealetones will be no match...

Spoiler

 

[Morbid Boredom]

If Eli's parents call the cops, like any sane people would, shit is going to get deep. Multiple felony deep. Can you imagine the clusterfuck as the three of these twits try to toss each other under the buss.

Eli has a pretty good alibi, though. He was in another country and his passport will back that up. His parents can just say those dang dirty stoners broke into the cottage.

 

[Pikonic]

If Eli's parents call the cops, like any sane people would, shit is going to get deep. Multiple felony deep. Can you imagine the clusterfuck as the three of these twits try to toss each other under the buss.

Or all three will throw Colby under the bus.
Jace will do it as punishment for defecting from DN.
Tyce and Eli will follow suit to save their asses.

 

[DavidFerrie]

I'll admit that I don't check into the Jace threads often, so I'm not up on a lot of the various backstories here. But I will say that I'm astonished that such an obvious loser as Mr. Connors can not only find people even dumber and crazier than himself, but can somehow convince them to go to war zones and (ineffectually) carry out laughable and potentially fatal "missions". Are people like Eli just brain-damaged from all the drugs, and consequently harboring a dangerous combination of boredom, gullibility, and self-delusion? Or does Jace have some weird charisma over wannabe-paramilitary stoner morons?

 

[CasualWhimsicott]

I'll admit that I don't check into the Jace threads often, so I'm not up on a lot of the various backstories here. But I will say that I'm astonished that such an obvious loser as Mr. Connors can not only find people even dumber and crazier than himself, but can somehow convince them to go to war zones and (ineffectually) carry out laughable and potentially fatal "missions". Are people like Eli just brain-damaged from all the drugs, and consequently harboring a dangerous combination of boredom, gullibility, and self-delusion? Or does Jace have some weird charisma over wannabe-paramilitary stoner morons?

Probably really gullible. I wouldn't suspect Eli of being brain-damaged, just incapable of thinking critically.

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

I'll admit that I don't check into the Jace threads often, so I'm not up on a lot of the various backstories here. But I will say that I'm astonished that such an obvious loser as Mr. Connors can not only find people even dumber and crazier than himself, but can somehow convince them to go to war zones and (ineffectually) carry out laughable and potentially fatal "missions". Are people like Eli just brain-damaged from all the drugs, and consequently harboring a dangerous combination of boredom, gullibility, and self-delusion? Or does Jace have some weird charisma over wannabe-paramilitary stoner morons?

Yes to both.

 

[Konstantinos]

You know, I've been wondering for a while what Eli's family thought of all this. I thought that it was weird that there was no response from them, as if they were to apathetic to care about where he is.

Thanks to this insightful new video, now we do know what his parents think! It'll be interesting to see what the fallout of this is. If the MISIS saga is anything to go by, the cottage is not going to be in good shape at all.

 

[A-№1]

this video makes a strong argument for following jace

This video makes a strong argument for birth control.

How stoned do you have to be to not notice your son goes to the Middle East and dissapears for months? lol

I get the strong impression Eli's parents intentionally don't keep very good tabs on him because on some level they really don't want to know what their son is up to. Also they may have known he's in Israel; it's quite possible Daniel is Eli's Israeli farmer grandfather and they figured Eli was helping on the farm. A possible scenario is they have all their bills on automatic payment or some such (see below) so they didn't notice the power use. Then Eli did something stupid with Daniel's scooter in Israel. Daniel called Eli's parents to complain, and suddenly Eli's parents have no choice but to look into what their son has been doing for the past three months.

The retards on Facepunch already repeatedly e-mailed and called the US Embassy in Tel Aviv telling them Eli was trying to kill the Prime Minister, because they were naively trying to help him and somehow thought that this would cause him to get safely deported home with no problems at all instead of getting fucking arrested and possibly charged with treason in the middle of a warzone. Thankfully, their incompitence outpaced their poor planning and none of it worked, in fact we never even heard anything about it from the Embassy or Eli at all. So I wouldn't worry.

I wish it was more surprising how some people can overestimate their own importance. And the importance of things they find important. There was never a chance of the state department or the embassy giving a damn about Eli unless he somehow managed to do something spectacularly stupid over there.

Alright, so it took a while but I made a revised transcript based off Kosher Dill's, mainly just filling in the blanks he had. I tried to be as accurate as possible but I'd appreciate any corrections.

Good lord man. How did you manage to work that out from all that babble and people overtalking each other?

Some bullet-points:

Something I think might be worth adding: Eli's mother made a big point that they were paying for Eli's plane ticket out of pocket. She also agreed when Eli called her a one-percenter. The only wealthy people I know of who worry about out of pocket expenses are all trust fund babies who don't themselves completely control their own finances. Nobody else makes that distinction because for most people every expense is out of pocket.

This is just speculation, but it does fit what we've seen. Being trust fund babies themselves could help explain Eli's parents' lack of parenting success, and also goes a long way to explain why they were unaware their cottage was using $300 in electricity every month: they may well have someone who pays their bills for them.

 

[ForTheHoard]

I'm mildly suspicious. This was an international call, over a cell phone. Ignoring for a moment the cost (on the order of dollars per minute), there seems to be no latency at all in the call. I have experience with making international phone calls, and whether it's over landline, cell phone or even VoIP there's a substantial amount of lag, such that if anybody is arguing they mostly end up talking over one another.

Iunno guise...

I made calls to America from UAE, Kuwait, Iraq, and Bangladesh, all on USO cell phones with American branded calling cards. The only time I got call lag with my totally bitch of a mom was in Bangladesh, and I think it was a sat-phone. Just my 2 cents. Internet calls were shit though, everywhere I went. Never used a land line.

 

[Tookie]

She also agreed when Eli called her a one-percenter..

I don't know how much I would read into that. Eli seems like the kind of dipshit who calls anyone not leeching off their parents a "one-percenter." They're probably just too sick of hearing it to dispute it.

 

[FlyAwayNow]

Why is his mom freaking out? Saying you're in Israel is like saying you're in Narnia.
Wishful thinking won't make it a real place.

I hear the JIDF coming.

 

[Organic Fapcup]

I hear the JIDF coming.

You called, goy?

 

[BillRiley]

I don't know how much I would read into that. Eli seems like the kind of dipshit who calls anyone not leeching off their parents a "one-percenter." They're probably just too sick of hearing it to dispute it.

Among our aspirational upper-middle class, the term 'one-percenter' is a mark of distinction rather than opprobrium. I very much doubt Eli knows what the term means.

 

[Germanicus]

So Eli is a college dropout? Sending someone like Eli to college was a horrrible waste of money anyway. I'm surprised that he even finished high school. Judging by his abysmal poor spelling and grammar getting stoned was the only thing he ever learned in school.

 

[CWCissey]

So Eli is a college dropout? Sending someone like Eli to college was a horrrible waste of money anyway. I'm surprised that he even finished high school.

No.

He's a THREE TIME college dropout.

If Mrs. Eli ever comes here, I'd just like to go on record as saying I'm a better investment, so wire that college money to me please.

 

[FlyAwayNow]

Jace's title this last few hours is interesting:

Jace W. Connors United States Marine 41st Division Army, Rest in Peace to My Friend and Close Battle-Buddy Corporal Bradley Schwartz Who I served With KIA Operation Fire Wing In Iraq, During The Iraq Insurgency In 2013.

The take on of the 41st Division seems like an odd thing, as well as his naming of the event which killed "Bradley Schwartz" the Iraq Insurgency.

Was it always Schwartz?