Australatina 05/17/2017 - the anglo-australatina war of 2018, aka the seven-day war - "I wrote this shit up this morning, I have no life"

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And with a ceasefire negotiated, Trump sees it as the perfect opportunity to wage a shadow war against Australatina. Rather than choosing a traditional special forces outfit, Trump enlists the help of the highly tactical and deadliest private military organization to every grace the earth. They had fought in many battles, ranging from infiltration operations into Palestine from Israel, to taking down Reddit's servers, and attempting to street race to death a deranged tranny running for congress.

Some call them heroes, others call them saints, and many call them madmen.

They are known as....



DEAGLENATION
 
Techpriest powiedział(a):
I just want to giggle at Phil's autism in not even giving a single fucking iota of time to actually researching anything or being properly referential. So I'm actually researching a little bit so you can get a geographic context for all this fucking shit (because I hate you all and want you to suffer with me. According to our Hoovstorical Records, Australatina is situated roughly off the coast of Newfoundland. Keep this in mind.


So basically, Trump invaded Canada and... there wasn't any resistance? At all? Despite the fact that this would be a blatant infringement of Canadian sovereignty?


According to it's 2009 CIA factbook a grand total of 1.2 million Austistics (or whatever the fuck they'd call themselves) are currently serving in the armed forces actively with a further 5.3 million in reserve, out of roughly 106 million living in the nation. So either Australatina has suffered a massive population decrease (likely refugees flooding into the US and Canada to escape white 'resettlement' programs, collectivized labor, or a civil war), massive (and I mean massive) budget and personnel cuts to the military, or Phil is a exceptional potato and cannot into even his own fictional country.

For that matter I don't really know what the 'everyone else who in uniform' is. I'm assuming 'Isn't in uniform' is what he meant because why not. It fits with this sort of power fantasy shit he has going. The workers rally to the cause - and for how long?


This is fucking exceptional for several reasons. Firstly, apparently his entire country has mobilized for three weeks but the US hasn't sent any reinforcements? What about the economic blockade? Shouldn't with everyone not in uniform now digging holes already crippling the economy, three weeks of possibly being deprived of food, water, or you know, medical supplies have caused large scale civil unrest inside the nation? Venezuela's state of anarchy would be small potatoes compared to Tatertopia's massive amount of armed men and women starving.

Taking out 80% of the US airforce (that happens to be in striking range of Autisticstan) on the ground is dumb as shit because there's no fucking way after three weeks of build up, probably constant CAP's and oh yeah, one of the best RADAR networks on the planet (NORAD) keenly looking out for any hint of an attack in the area.


So, you're trying to take out a US carrier group with airstrikes.

In the words of some anon on /k/:

vbZBv1k.png

Yeah, no, not happening. Here's what I imagine happens.

Lt. Bob: "So the Autties have planes incoming, about 150 miles out."
Ensign Smith: "Oh, does the E-2 have them painted?"
Lt. Bob smiles and tells him yes.
*SM-6's intercept at mach 3.5 from over the horizon*
>Laughing Raython Execs.jpg

Also, with strikes having taken place on Canadian and American soil, Article 5 just kicked in. NATO response is imminent. The Frenchies also have a carrier, and would love to go 'HON HON HON' with their canards. The non-nuclear theater strikes are... odd. I can't think of any US weapon outside of Tomahawks (which have an average deviation of 2 meters tops off target) that would fit this profile. Also even if Tomahawks are low flying and subsonic, intercepting 85% of them sounds absolutely exceptional, especially with what happened a few months earlier in Syria.

But wait, there's more :autism:!



Ah yes, by day 3 of the air war apparently the US has not shifted in Patriot missiles or more planes and has somehow run out of A2A munitions. Also violent protests in the street after we get bombed? Did Phil forget about 9/11 and the fucking national unity it brings? Strategic bombing does not reduce the will of the populace to fight - if anything it hardens it.

The Kursk shit doesn't make sense and NATO has treaty obligations - you can't just say no to those, especially when fucking CANADA is being invaded. Also a land invasion through Canada. In Newfoundland. In the Avalon peninsula. For someone as autistic about cartography as Phil is, he's forgotten a really important point about Kursk.

Kursk: Large, wide open steppe land with no water obstructions and long sight lines. Really good for tanks

Avalon Peninsula: Rugged. Full of hills, fjords, forests, rivers, lakes and ravines. Really terrible for tanks

The ADF would get slaughtered, especially with well trained defenders fighting from positions probably marked, dug, sighted, and prepared for three fucking weeks.


>Paratroopers and marines landing in Nova Scotia, far away from any population center or strategic location
>Somehow this along with more strategic bombing ends the war

What the fuck is this shit, this is some Tom Krautman/William Lind levels of absolutely pants on head exceptional conflict. I would actually say that Victoria: A Novel of Fourth Generational Warfare has a more believable plot than this. That is something I never ever in my entire life believed I could in good conscious say.

I spent more time on my counterpoints and digging up a single copypasta I'd saved a year or two ago than phil did when even thinking about this. I need booze. Lots of booze.
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is this an wall of text going into excruciating detail about australatinas politics

am i hallucinating this
 
Dane powiedział(a):
honestly the way he insists that autismlatina can kick anyone's ass and is rapidly consuming Canada, I can't help but wonder if we're gonna get a short essay on how he's gonna take over the US
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It'll probably be more forced immigration where he annexes everything East of the Mississippi, hands the South to Mexico, and turns the rest into a giant Injun reservation.
 
  1. Why would the US bother sending carriers to attack an enemy just off the coast of Canada? Sure, they're great for power projection across the globe, but there's no need for them when the targets are in your backyard.
  2. How are the boomers complaining on social media when their power's out?
 
ToroidalBoat powiedział(a):
Maybe even his own subconscious knows that "Latinx" identity is bullshit.
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It's more than subconscious
People within Phil's circle have called him on his bullshit (including toren) and Phil has been forced to accept the "hurtful truth".
He's actually capable of insane amounts of double think on it EG he's been speaking Spanish since he was eight (?) but if you speak it to him he can't say anything back or how he gets abuse for being so Latinx but tells true and honest Latinx people how white passing he is.

But when has something being totally untrue stopped it from bring a vital part of troon identity.....not that Phil's even a troon
 
Philthy's imaginary country is so bad that he does pogroms against his Jewish inhabitants and has a police problem. It comes to show his evident obsession with victimhood. At least he's honest though.
 
Also that "CN" stuff ADF has to put before every "spudpost" can be kind of annoying. I guess it's a force of habit by now.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
Dane powiedział(a):
honestly the way he insists that autismlatina can kick anyone's ass and is rapidly consuming Canada, I can't help but wonder if we're gonna get a short essay on how he's gonna take over the US
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If he did you can rest assured that it will be laughably pathetic, uninformed, naive, and chock full of egotistical chest thumping and unwarranted self-importance. One of the things that would make it easy to stomp Autismlatinx is that it's an island nation. It wouldn't take much for the US to gain air and sea superiority and completely isolate the Potato Kingdom from the rest of the world. There's nowhere for Autismlandia's people to go once you remove their ability to travel. It's surrounded by water on all sides, so it isn't like they can sneak troops, reinforcements, and supplies in or out over the border. Their obsolete mid-Cold War era weapons, fighting vehicles, aircraft, and tactics would be easily conquered by contemporary US equipment. Even our oldest equipment, like the B-52 heavy bomber, has consistently been updated to keep them viable on the modern battlefield. Our tactics constantly modified to ensure our troops remain the honed tip of the spear. Phil's peasant conscripted forces wouldn't have a hope in Heaven or Hell in going toe-to-toe with our highly trained professional fighting men and women.

Replicant Sasquatch powiedział(a):
It'll probably be more forced immigration where he annexes everything East of the Mississippi, hands the South to Mexico, and turns the rest into a giant Injun reservation.
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...

It's funny that Phil thinks that Canadian and US citizens would merely stand aside and willingly have their homes and property taken from them by Phil and given to a bunch of filthy Pinkos who didn't earn it. There would be violent backlash as average citizens would arm themselves against the invading Autistic hordes. Roughly one third of US citizens own at least one firearm, and there are enough privately owned firearms in America to arm every last man, woman, and child with enough weapons left over to have a healthy reserve of replacements. That's not taking into account weapons in the hands of law enforcement, federal agencies, military, and the National Guard. Aside from SJW scum wracked with white guilt who would willingly allow themselves to be cucked and hand over their property and homes as reparations, you average American citizen will fight, kill, and die to protect life, liberty, home, and country. It's one of the reasons our nation hasn't been invaded by a foreign army since the early 19th century.

NotAKitty powiedział(a):
  1. Why would the US bother sending carriers to attack an enemy just off the coast of Canada? Sure, they're great for power projection across the globe, but there's no need for them when the targets are in your backyard.
  2. How are the boomers complaining on social media when their power's out?
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...

Exactly. We wouldn't even need one carrier group to sortie an air campaign against Autismlandia, let alone two. It would be well within combat range of land based aircraft at Air Force bases and Naval Air Stations on the East Coast, and with our refueling aircraft we would be able to have CAPs loiter for long durations around Autismlatinx. Hell, our Lancer, Spirit, and BUFF bombers wouldn't even need to refuel in the air to strike within the heart of Phil's imaginary dystopia. Our cruise missile submarines and drones would be able to stealthily strike his country without risking a single American life. He really just doesn't understand that if he got to live out his power fantasies IRL that he'd quickly see them turn into nightmares.
 
My only question is why didn't Millenial President just seize control of all of North America since his army is the size of China and is apparently unmatched in skill by most of the developed world. Why agree to a cease fire? Why not at least depose Trump if he is supposed to be the Hitler of this scenario?
 
ToroidalBoat powiedział(a):
ADF likely thinks the vast majority of Americans aren't even as armed as he is (with painted bats, a crowbar, pepper spray, etc) because of projection.
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Phil is a great example of why people with mental disabilities shouldn't be allowed to own those things to be completely honest :sighduck:

I wonder how he would feel if he was able to comprehend that?
 
Communications back at HQ tell me that most of these tanks are controlled through a mega computer called "CerebrX". right now we are sending in our best men in infiltrating and deactivating cerebrx
 
Techpriest powiedział(a):
I just want to giggle at Phil's autism in not even giving a single fucking iota of time to actually researching anything or being properly referential. So I'm actually researching a little bit so you can get a geographic context for all this fucking shit (because I hate you all and want you to suffer with me. According to our Hoovstorical Records, Australatina is situated roughly off the coast of Newfoundland. Keep this in mind.


So basically, Trump invaded Canada and... there wasn't any resistance? At all? Despite the fact that this would be a blatant infringement of Canadian sovereignty?


According to it's 2009 CIA factbook a grand total of 1.2 million Austistics (or whatever the fuck they'd call themselves) are currently serving in the armed forces actively with a further 5.3 million in reserve, out of roughly 106 million living in the nation. So either Australatina has suffered a massive population decrease (likely refugees flooding into the US and Canada to escape white 'resettlement' programs, collectivized labor, or a civil war), massive (and I mean massive) budget and personnel cuts to the military, or Phil is a exceptional potato and cannot into even his own fictional country.

For that matter I don't really know what the 'everyone else who in uniform' is. I'm assuming 'Isn't in uniform' is what he meant because why not. It fits with this sort of power fantasy shit he has going. The workers rally to the cause - and for how long?


This is fucking exceptional for several reasons. Firstly, apparently his entire country has mobilized for three weeks but the US hasn't sent any reinforcements? What about the economic blockade? Shouldn't with everyone not in uniform now digging holes already crippling the economy, three weeks of possibly being deprived of food, water, or you know, medical supplies have caused large scale civil unrest inside the nation? Venezuela's state of anarchy would be small potatoes compared to Tatertopia's massive amount of armed men and women starving.

Taking out 80% of the US airforce (that happens to be in striking range of Autisticstan) on the ground is dumb as shit because there's no fucking way after three weeks of build up, probably constant CAP's and oh yeah, one of the best RADAR networks on the planet (NORAD) keenly looking out for any hint of an attack in the area.


So, you're trying to take out a US carrier group with airstrikes.

In the words of some anon on /k/:

vbZBv1k.png

Yeah, no, not happening. Here's what I imagine happens.

Lt. Bob: "So the Autties have planes incoming, about 150 miles out."
Ensign Smith: "Oh, does the E-2 have them painted?"
Lt. Bob smiles and tells him yes.
*SM-6's intercept at mach 3.5 from over the horizon*
>Laughing Raython Execs.jpg

Also, with strikes having taken place on Canadian and American soil, Article 5 just kicked in. NATO response is imminent. The Frenchies also have a carrier, and would love to go 'HON HON HON' with their canards. The non-nuclear theater strikes are... odd. I can't think of any US weapon outside of Tomahawks (which have an average deviation of 2 meters tops off target) that would fit this profile. Also even if Tomahawks are low flying and subsonic, intercepting 85% of them sounds absolutely exceptional, especially with what happened a few months earlier in Syria.

But wait, there's more :autism:!



Ah yes, by day 3 of the air war apparently the US has not shifted in Patriot missiles or more planes and has somehow run out of A2A munitions. Also violent protests in the street after we get bombed? Did Phil forget about 9/11 and the fucking national unity it brings? Strategic bombing does not reduce the will of the populace to fight - if anything it hardens it.

The Kursk shit doesn't make sense and NATO has treaty obligations - you can't just say no to those, especially when fucking CANADA is being invaded. Also a land invasion through Canada. In Newfoundland. In the Avalon peninsula. For someone as autistic about cartography as Phil is, he's forgotten a really important point about Kursk.

Kursk: Large, wide open steppe land with no water obstructions and long sight lines. Really good for tanks

Avalon Peninsula: Rugged. Full of hills, fjords, forests, rivers, lakes and ravines. Really terrible for tanks

The ADF would get slaughtered, especially with well trained defenders fighting from positions probably marked, dug, sighted, and prepared for three fucking weeks.


>Paratroopers and marines landing in Nova Scotia, far away from any population center or strategic location
>Somehow this along with more strategic bombing ends the war

What the fuck is this shit, this is some Tom Krautman/William Lind levels of absolutely pants on head exceptional conflict. I would actually say that Victoria: A Novel of Fourth Generational Warfare has a more believable plot than this. That is something I never ever in my entire life believed I could in good conscious say.

I spent more time on my counterpoints and digging up a single copypasta I'd saved a year or two ago than phil did when even thinking about this. I need booze. Lots of booze.
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...

Much like when @Jaimas posts one of his essays on SocJus, I'm conflicted whether or not to rate this winner or autistic.

Yet these internet stickers would still somehow be more effective than ADFs military strategy.
 
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