Australatina 05/17/2017 - the anglo-australatina war of 2018, aka the seven-day war - "I wrote this shit up this morning, I have no life"

[The Dude]

My only question is why didn't Millenial President just seize control of all of North America since his army is the size of China and is apparently unmatched in skill by most of the developed world. Why agree to a cease fire? Why not at least depose Trump if he is supposed to be the Hitler of this scenario?

Because while Phil is long on wind, ego, and pompous braggadocio, he's extremely short on imagination and forward thinking. Besides, if he deposed Trump and Pence now he wouldn't be able to heroically oppose them the next time he's feeling powerless and irrelevant.

And what's this fucking re.tardation about "Millennial President"? How fucking stupid can a concept be? The only thing more unfit and unqualified than a Millennial to lead a nation would be a child, or Phil himself. But I repeat myself. Seriously though, can you think of a worse candidate for President than a Millennial? They're shallow, childish, selfish, inexperienced, undisciplined, impulsive, smug, ignorant, and self-absorbed. Much like Phil himself, which is probably why he thinks they would make a great leader. It's like he actively tried to come up with the worst candidate he could imagine, but didn't want to seem too self-centered and power hunger by making himself El Presidente.

 

[TiggerNits]

I have a feeling Phil's only familiarity with tactical planning comes from the demo disk for the original Command and Conquer


Great, now I want a CnC game where Phil is the Kane of his own moronic socialist faction

 

[MMX]

That lie is new to me. One day Phil could try to rewrite his entire childhood and claim it was what he thinks is a stereotypical "Latinx"

It's new to Phil as well.
It's from his last batch of lies about his father ( @Twrx @DT.Miller have u the screen shot for this one) he claims he tried to stop Phil from embracing him true and honest Latinx heritage to the point of banning the Spanish language in the house.

Of course we all remember Phil was a right wing conservative up until he joined the weeaboo club......

 

[Ravenor]

It's new to Phil as well.
It's from his last batch of lies about his father ( @Twrx @DT.Miller have u the screen shot for this one) he claims he tried to stop Phil from embracing him true and honest Latinx heritage to the point of banning the Spanish language in the house.

Of course we all remember Phil was a right wing conservative up until he joined the weeaboo club......

The thread is dady rape day 2.0

 

[TS 298]

Seriously though, can you think of a worse candidate for President than a Millennial?

Clinton?

 

[MMX]

But I repeat myself. Seriously though, can you think of a worse candidate for President than a Millennial?

Alison Amber ?

 

[AnOminous]

Much like when @Jaimas posts one of his essays on SocJus, I'm conflicted whether or not to rate this winner or autistic.

We need a winformatistic rating.

 

[The Dude]

Clinton?

Well, yeah, I mean...yeah. You're absolutely correct.

 

[Ravenor]

Well, yeah, I mean...yeah. You're absolutely correct.

Short of Corbin I can't think of anyone to top that suggestion.

 

[Deadpool]

Isn't the millennial prime minister Xochi (so Phil himself)?

 

[Karl der Grosse]

Don't blame me, I voted for Jingles.

 

[Here to Lurk]

A bit off-topic, but I remember somebody posting a while back that Australatina would most likely be colonized by the English or the French.

All things considered, the majority of the population ought to be white. But he made it mostly Latino.

Australatina's mere existence as a landmass ought to have altered the history of the Americas somehow. But it didn't. It's like the country spontaneously popped into being in 1948.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that from the volcanoes to the demographics to absurd number of tanks nothing about Australatina makes sense.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

You know how Phil's fantasies about Kiwi home invasion involved him being able to get up, arm himself and take down an attacker before they could even make a move against him? In this scenario, Autismland is Phil and the US is a Kiwi agent.

 

[Coldgrip]

You know how Phil's fantasies about Kiwi home invasion involved him being able to get up, arm himself and take down an attacker before they could even make a move against him? In this scenario, Autismland is Phil and the US is a Kiwi agent.

Ah yes, the self-defense situation that take a total of fifteen seconds for him to get up, waddle to the place where he's stashed his mall ninja shit, turn and attack the home invader.

You know, giving it some though, if he ever was the victim of a break-in, I don't think it'd be theft. I think there's a good chance it'd be an attempted assault. Hear me out, most thieves that do a b&e usually case the place they're going to rob. Maybe not well, but enough to know what the homeowner looks like and when they're out of the house. Just from how he looks most burglars would know that he's some poor crust punk, so he wouldn't have much to take. On the other hand, somebody looking for somebody to brutalize Phil is a decent target. While the average joe would give Taters a wide berth due to how he looks, somebody used to actual violence would see him as a soft, edgy little try-hard.

Though the chance of something like that happening is pretty low.

 

[AnOminous]

Ah yes, the self-defense situation that take a total of fifteen seconds for him to get up, waddle to the place where he's stashed his mall ninja shit, turn and attack the home invader.

You know, giving it some though, if he ever was the victim of a break-in, I don't think it'd be theft. I think there's a good chance it'd be an attempted assault. Hear me out, most thieves that do a b&e usually case the place they're going to rob. Maybe not well, but enough to know what the homeowner looks like and when they're out of the house. Just from how he looks most burglars would know that he's some poor crust punk, so he wouldn't have much to take. On the other hand, somebody looking for somebody to brutalize Phil is a decent target. While the average joe would give Taters a wide berth due to how he looks, somebody used to actual violence would see him as a soft, edgy little try-hard.

Though the chance of something like that happening is pretty low.

Home invasion robbery is a super serious crime and one that only genuinely violent people try.

Even some psycho who just wanted to assault Phil would wait until he was waddling around stupidly outside.

 

[The Dude]

A bit off-topic, but I remember somebody posting a while back that Australatina would most likely be colonized by the English or the French.

All things considered, the majority of the population ought to be white. But he made it mostly Latino.

Australatina's mere existence as a landmass ought to have altered the history of the Americas somehow. But it didn't. It's like the country spontaneously popped into being in 1948.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that from the volcanoes to the demographics to absurd number of tanks nothing about Australatina makes sense.

It's almost like Phil completely lacks any manner of forethought, logic, or understanding of history and it shows in his imagination land/mental hug box. His obsession with Puerto Rico also plays into it, as I believe he's based Autismlatinxyz largely on the island because Latinos and it being a US territory...only making it the size of a small continent, because of course he would.

Ah yes, the self-defense situation that take a total of fifteen seconds for him to get up, waddle to the place where he's stashed his mall ninja shit, turn and attack the home invader.

You know, giving it some though, if he ever was the victim of a break-in, I don't think it'd be theft. I think there's a good chance it'd be an attempted assault. Hear me out, most thieves that do a b&e usually case the place they're going to rob. Maybe not well, but enough to know what the homeowner looks like and when they're out of the house. Just from how he looks most burglars would know that he's some poor crust punk, so he wouldn't have much to take. On the other hand, somebody looking for somebody to brutalize Phil is a decent target. While the average joe would give Taters a wide berth due to how he looks, somebody used to actual violence would see him as a soft, edgy little try-hard.

Though the chance of something like that happening is pretty low.

It's a combination of Phil's ego and projection of his life situation on his "enemies". He thinks he's important enough for us to exert our time and effort on breaking in to his squatting grounds to assault him, and since he's too poor to own firearms and would have a hard time legally buying one if he did have the money, he assumes the best we can do in the way of weaponry are baseball bats, mall ninja knives, and pepper spray. And since he's an obese cave troll he assumes we are all out of shape basement dwellers, so he thinks he will at least be on equal footing with us in a physical altercation.

 

[Adamska]

I'd comment on the stupidity, but @Alex Krycek , @The Dude , and @Techpriest did an admirable job, so I'm just going to reference that thing I did what with his shitty country like I always do when he brings it up.

This current idiocy is the ramblings of an insane deposed dictator bumming it in a tiny apartment. The current President is currently deregulating and opening up the country to businesses (basically removing communist influences) and is decentralizing the nation to give minorities like the Ciscadians and Indigenos more rights. Midterms are a thing I'll write up for next year.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

It's a combination of Phil's ego and projection of his life situation on his "enemies". He thinks he's important enough for us to exert our time and effort on breaking in to his squatting grounds to assault him, and since he's too poor to own firearms and would have a hard time legally buying one if he did have the money, he assumes the best we can do in the way of weaponry are baseball bats, mall ninja knives, and pepper spray. And since he's an obese cave troll he assumes we are all out of shape basement dwellers, so he thinks he will at least be on equal footing with us in a physical altercation.

Let's not forget that he also thinks people want to assault him because he is a violent male who wishes he could assault his enemies.

 

[Club Sandwich]

And correct me if this is wrong, but his "nation" invaded Canada, which would have NATO coming down on the side of the USA.

NORAD and close cooperation in most fields has the US and Canada considered a singular unit for military strategy for close border defense.

the US has roughly double what the next 9 most militarily powerful countries on the planet combined are able to project.

does Phil think his imaginary country is on par with China, Russia, France, Germany, UK, India, Japan, Turkey, or Italy individually, much less than as a combined force? it's pretty telling what sort of reality bending powers his autism holds when his ego with threatened.

Just from how he looks most burglars would know that he's some poor crust punk, so he wouldn't have much to take.

drugs or things to sell to get drugs. do not underestimated meth heads.

 

[The Dude]

Let's not forget that he also thinks people want to assault him because he is a violent male who wishes he could assault his enemies.

It's really difficult to suppress that aggression that men get from testosterone when you're not taking estrogen or hormone blockers.

does Phil think his imaginary country is on par with China, Russia, France, Germany, UK, India, Japan, Turkey, or Italy individually, much less than as a combined force?

We're Autismlatinxyz real, it wouldn't even be able to match the military might of Lichtenstein, which has no military. Lichtenstein is protected under treaty by the United States, but for the sake of comparison we're counting Lichtenstein by its onesome.