As a followup question do you NEED to work or do something? You could spend the three months working out, spending time relaxing, tackling projects long put off, cleaning/organizing the house, etc. To also powerlevel slightly I work in higher ed and I generally tell students that, finances permitting, they should always find time to enjoy off while they still can, since PTO at least in America can be hit or miss depending on your field of work.
Unfortunately, yes. I'd personally rather just get a basic job in retail or whatever to save up a little and focus on practicing actual adult skills like cooking, driving, etc., but my parents are almost fanatical about, quote, "focusing on your studies".
They literally will not:
- Let me drive without them (even though I've had a license since I was 16)
- Let me cook my own food (my mom plans out groceries and meals with military precision, so I can't use any of the food in the house because then she'll get upset that she doesn't have what she needs to make dinner. And of course, I can't go shopping myself because they won't let me drive.)
- Let me manage my own finances, insurance, or medical stuff (all of my credit/debit cards and bank accounts are wired to my mom's email account, not mine.)
- Let me at least help out around the house with laundry or dishes so I don't feel like a useless burden (my mom has insisted on handling all of the chores for as long as I can remember and has always refused help, then makes you feel like shit when she complains about how tired and busy she is. Then you offer to help, and she gets extremely defensive -- "You need to focus on your studies/Trust me, you're going to be doing laundry for the next 60 years, enjoy not doing it now" -- and acts hurt/rejected, so you let it go. Then she frets over how stress is killing her and makes self-deprecating jokes about never having free time. You offer to help. Repeat ad nauseum.)
I'm genuinely losing my mind trying to articulate to her that I need more autonomy, that I need practice to build habits doing basic adult tasks, that the decisions I make about my education and future are ultimately up to me and not her so as long as I'm the one paying for them (I'm not right now, she is, but I have stated repeatedly over the years that I'd rather get a job and support myself than be reliant on her. She of course rejects this, and there's nothing I can do about it because she controls my finances, so I am eternally obligated to do what she wants since she subsidizes my entire existence.) All I ever get in response is defensiveness and dismissal -- "Trust me, you'll be cooking/driving/working for 60 years, enjoy not doing it now! Use your time to build your resume instead!"
I feel bad even typing this up because it makes her seem like some vindictive narcissist -- she's not (it also makes me seem like an ungrateful asshole -- oh no, my mom does my laundry and cooks for me! How awful!). She genuinely loves me and my siblings and thinks she's doing right by us by frantically micromanaging and providing everything (even things we didn't ask for or want) to us. This isn't 5D Cluster B chess, she just had an extremely fucked up childhood and is now massively overcorrecting with us by engaging in smothering, suffocating, cloying, spoiling, controlling, overprotection. I just don't know if I can bear three more months of this at home.
Sorry for turbopowerleveling this shit all over the thread, I'm just feeling really miserable right now. I just don't know how to make this stop.