Why do women lose interest in sex after marriage or committing to a LTR, such as moving in?

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Boggy B powiedział(a):
Married and can't say I've ever had this problem.

@Lidl Drip mentioned men letting themselves slip in commitment and that's probably one of the more likely answers. Look, smell and act like shit and your missus is going to feel undesired and it creates a negative feedback loop where you're punching own each others' self-esteem. (which is why you think it 'helps' when you start opening your wallet in lieu)

Cut through the incel diatribe and it's a literal skill issue. Make yourself worthy of lifelong commitment instead of 'moralizing' about how you can't online.
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OP has in its post examples that are like that, but for women:
Troon_Patrol powiedział(a):
I see good loyal men keep their fitness routine or even get better, provide for the wife and a year later after marriage she spends all her free time on some electronic device fucking around on social media. Women who are extremely possessive and jealous also seem to fall into this routine of less and less effort into sex or just putting int their fair share of the household.
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Get it?

For the men who are not letting themselves be all those bad things, while the wife is.

The answer is, as always: human laziness, be it for men or women.
 
You can't compare that intense honeymoon phase when you're both young to when you're older and have more responsibilities that tire you out and leave you hardly any time, and even if you find time its hard to calm your brain and focus on the sexytimes. Its not woman specific either from personal experience and from what I've heard from friends.
Maybe that explains the second honeymoon phase I've heard about during middle age when the kids get older and there is less constant responsibilities.
If your entire relationship hinges on sex there is something wrong.
 
I played Mario Kart Double Dash with my girlfriend recently. She won a race and we made love later that night after a nice dinner we both contributed to making. We've lived together for a few years. Maybe just copy that and you'll be good.
 
macrodegenerate powiedział(a):
I actually wonder what being married to someone with BPD would be like. Would they even be stable enough to get to that point?
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At the risk of derailing, I know of a "rare" BPD man who has been engaged 4 times at the big age of 29, most recently to someone he's been dating six months. I'm waiting for the inevitable dumping. So unlikely for them to get to that point. I assume the ones who do are marrying others with BPD or codependency issues.
 
I've heard some stories about how women knew that their man has someone else in his mind, or what exactly made them suspicious - and it was when he suddenly started to look presentable again - like, he showed up clean shaven, became overall cleaner, got a better haircut, wore nicer clothes and maybe hit the gym.
Why did they become unkempt and fat in first place?
 
One of the biggest causes for divorce outside of infidelity are financial issues, which seem to vary between couples as to the "why". It's likely that's because both parties are just not disclosing and keeping each other up on what they're spending on on a regular basis. It's easier to keep tabs of if both are in a joint account, but a lot of couples still have separate accounts or there's only the one provider (usually the husband). It's not any easier than with a joint account because even if the one partner is frugal with their earnings, the other might not be, and then that causes tension when the numbers stop adding up.

Trust is key to a healthy marriage, and if one or both spouses do not trust the other financially or are extremely defensive about their spending habits and keeping transactions a secret, there will inevitably be contention which will affect their sex life. It's become a lot more easy to spend money on online transactions because it's "easier" to hide or even forget accounts and subscriptions.
 
Bronze Age Baddie powiedział(a):
At the risk of derailing, I know of a "rare" BPD man who has been engaged 4 times at the big age of 29, most recently to someone he's been dating six months. I'm waiting for the inevitable dumping. So unlikely for them to get to that point. I assume the ones who do are marrying others with BPD or codependency issues.
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You know Pete Davidson?
 
Well, is the man still doing cute romantic things to get the woman in the mood, just like he did when the relationship was new?
Women love foreplay, my dudes.
You can't just fall down on her and start humping.
You need to make a woman feel sexy.
A lot of guys forget about this stuff after they're married.

I know this married couple.
They met on a fetish website, were doing weird sex shit for 2 years, then they married.
They fuck all the time, just had their first kid.
However, they're into roleplay and kinky shit so the foreplay game is strong.

Don't make sex boring and it won't get boring.
 
We Are The Witches powiedział(a):
The answer is, as always: human laziness, be it for men or women.
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I bet she's not too lazy to eat a delicious ice cream sundae if one was presented to her. People generally like to do things that are pleasurable and make you feel good and give you dopamine like tasty food or orgasms. If your wife doesn't wanna have sex with you it's because sex with you sucks and is a chore to her and not a pleasurable experience. Ofc a moid looks at this and thinks "she is too lazy to do the chore of making my dick feel good, women suck and marriage is a scam!" and not "Maybe I should try making sex fun for my wife so she enjoys the experience as well and will continue to want to do it?". And this explains the divorce rates.
 
If you both got together for the right reasons and have genuine chemistry, this probably won't happen.

Provided a relationship is built on a solid foundation and your hearts are open, it should be able to weather the rough patches (or come out even stronger). Otherwise when pressure is applied, cracks in a veneer will only get larger over time. If you are not a good match you will be unhappy as a couple, fate might have it that you or your spouse one day crosses paths with their true soulmate, and things could get very messy.
 
fiesty fire powiedział(a):
Nowadays a woman is entitled to half your shit the second she's married to you, if not before, so your provision is guaranteed.
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Why are you so dumb?

Marital property is marital property in most jurisdictions. Unless you keep it separate or had it before marriage or inherited it to you only, it's joint, not "yours." That's what marriage is.

Moreover, "nowadays" it's far more likely both parties are earning, so even if you disagree with eons of jurisprudence around marital property, it's unlikely "you" are providing the sole earnings.

You're also failing to ascribe any value to unpaid work that "you" rely on to have the life you desire. The clean floors, folded clothes, food in the frig, scheduled appointments for the family, management of service providers, endless ferrying of kids during working hours, homework and project help and teacher interaction, home furnishing and maintenance, holiday cheer and cooking, to name a random couple of the many tasks required so you and your kids have a peaceful life, etc., do not have a value of 0. And if you think they should, you should stick to a basement studio and leave everyone else alone.

And what kind of fool a) watches cartel sex tapes or b) thinks whatever that is is a model for anything?

Boggy B powiedział(a):
Make yourself worthy of lifelong commitment
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Uh oh, you summoned the Beast with this one. Nothing makes some people madder than to be told to be better.

Kari Kamiya powiedział(a):
only the one provider (usually the husband)
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It is only in 23% of households in the US that men are the sole breadwinner.
 
I know I’ve said this a million times before but the main reason for divorce and relationships going off the boil is resentment. It’s not cheating or beating in the main, it’s people taking each other for granted. A woman who is knackered from work, knackered from having small kids, and knackered from picking up after everyone is not going to feel horny. Women don’t work like that. A woman who comes home from a twelve hour shift to find nobody has picked up anything, or cooked, or cleaned and expects her to do it all while they play vidya or watch telly is not going to feel horny. She’s going to feel resentful. The advice to not make your wife a maid is very good advice indeed. If you want a woman to be in the mood, her mind needs to not be on the fact that she’s only got an hour before bedtime and still has a list of domestic chores as long as her arm. Divvy up the domestic labour however works for you but it must leave both parties NOT feeling resentful. That and communication are what keeps things fun, be kind to each other, treat each other with respect. Feeling like you’re a flashlight that does chores is not the way to drop knickers
Now, where’s my back rub? An hour long, you say?
 
I went on a rant while on painkillers about something like this. About how frustrating it is when men set their marriage up for failure when they intentionally select for low sex motivated women, and then get mad that the woman they chose don't like to have sex with them. It's like the second worst marriage scenario a man could choose for himself. Dumb as shit "intelligent sex" moments.
 
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