random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Retarded INTP]

He takes his gooncalf everywhere with him.

 

[Oliver Onions]

told a Muslim child to burn in hell, rips ass on stream, and says nigger live, now has a thread.

 

[Big Nasty]

(Spoilered due to ferret piss and shit everywhere)

 

[PetiteFeet]

The Evil Kiwifarms. Ensuring the proper treatment of animals.

 

[Gentlebastard]

In short. The ultimate home defense is not the rifle, the shotgun, but the tiny pink fleshlight shooter hidden in a math book.

If you have the French on your side it's time to seriously reevaluate your decisions/priorities.

That goes far beyond narcissism into the realms of plain-vanilla delusion.

I swear before our Dread Lord Null and all his Cheesewraiths that I am not making this up.

You sure showed him, dude! I'm sure your dad never once wished he'd shot the dicksnot that sadly gestated you into a gym sock, the exhaust pipe of a car or a lot lizard whose uterus last bore young back during the Cretaceous period.

My wallet has money dysphoria right now.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

I wonder how many are going sweep for the Fart Fetish shit because he says Nigga

always use the indefinite article a penis, never my penis.

anyone fat just seems to end up being a pedophile.

If you can piss off everyone you're either an amazing troll or a giant fucking retard, no in between.

 

[The Lаughing Man]

Why is everyone's reasons for bitching different from mine? I'm the only person with correct opinions while everyone else insists on /pol/posting or bitching about the wrong things.

 

[Harvey Danger]

The Kiwi Farms is more profitable than the DCU under Gunn.

Like a TON more profitable.

i will be ruined by jiggaboo farms

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

I just like loud farts.

 

[Autistic Joe]

Your shit doesn't just shoot out your asshole?

 

[sodaboard]

People report far less sex because we've lost the technology to have sex, we have to increase the FUCK RATE.

 

[Cnidarian]

The flip side was the woman I thought “I wouldn’t like her if she was a man,” thought “wtf does that mean” then realized it meant I didn’t like her personality in the first place.

 

[RomanianSchizo]

I have a neat idea. The AfD should recruit some tough guys from their supporters to provide security for their events. Maybe give them a special colored shirt so people know who the security guys are. That would be pretty cool, ja? I bet nobody in Germany thought of that before.

They corporatized my racist memes, this is fucking bullshit.

If you can't read Mein Kampf on your microwave, why even live?

Banned" books 2026:
"How to be gay"
"Why fucking your dad is cool"
"Best vegetables to shove up your ass"

“Meme war. Meme war never changes.”

This is akin to believing 90% of couples are mixed race because they're in every advertisement.

rambley has saved iran
HEIL RAMBLEY

We could do the world a favour and tell them that owen baked merchant gives +10% yuan earned buff and pajeet masala increases Ladyboy Power by 69%.

Finally, peace in the middle east forever. thanks @StembleyTheRaccoon

I'm a 8/10 looking, smart & Awsome. I'm One of the best People that ever lived & in Theory worshipped by anyone. But i got cursed that i life around Subhumen Trash & Retards. It's so frustrating that a Top Guy can't get Chance due to Cosmic Calamity & Libshits.

I could hire a hundred men to have a 24 hour orgy and it would somehow be less gay than this.

So is this bring your own hammer or do they give you a complimentary one or what?

HE DIN' DU RUFFIN

If Warwick was in power, he'd send all natural sized humans to camps...

imagine if you were on a bus or something and warwick davis was on the bus or something and he looked at you

While chiggers are only 13% of the bug population, they cause 56% of all bug bites

locate your nearest overweight boomer prepper, fire a few rounds at his house, wait for him to die of a heart attack as he runs to his basement safe room, break in and take everything he has like it's PUBG

This is like when a person looks in the mirror and continuously combs the opposite side of their head, wondering why their hair isn't straightening.

3pm, my co-workers Pitbull princess rips my face off at my desk because I coughed.

 

[Chromeo]

People will want to fuck anything that isn’t an adult human of the opposite sex.

 

[Sog Dog]

He is disabled online.

 

[JustSomeDong]

A buddy of mine in queens bought a kid off wayfar a few years back.

 

[MetokurGroomedMe]

Jumanji brown Jackson

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

theres literally nothing stopping you from killing yourself right now.

It’s always Waffle House or a ditch where your car is wrecked, you notice no one ever seems to teleport to the library?

But not sad! Regaining consciousness at the waffle house is the good ending!

Amhole is life. Amhole is love. Amhole is your destiny, you can't escape it.

 

[Oliver Onions]

A girls' kissing contest where men kiss other men and are judged by two other men.