Personality Disorder Discussion General (BPD, Narcissists, and more)

[Nikon_Camera]

Before this section, you need a disclaimer that you cannot fix a narcissist and your best option is to leave. Grey rock is for when you have no choice. A narcissist will find other ways to harm you if you just grey rock. You have to get away from them.

Me being familiar with these people since childhood taught me to keep my life info to myself, and that humiliation and beatings make narcissists behave, also I don't give a fuck about their shaming antics.

 

[Retarded Weeb]

• Giving short, neutral answers ("Okay", "I see", "Maybe")
• Avoiding personal details or opinions
• Keeping your tone flat and unemotional
• Not reacting to provocation, insults, or drama
• Changing the subject or ending conversations quickly

Schizoids are kryptonite to Cluster B's? Is this like a rock-paper-scissors thing?

 

[daoke]

Schizoids are kryptonite to Cluster B's? Is this like a rock-paper-scissors thing?

I would say that it's more that schizoids are basically invisible on a cluster b radar system. They can't be manipulated by much, don't feel an obligation to respond to suicide threats or lovebombing, and ideas that narcissists tend to use like "blood is thicker than water" or throwing ad hominems to shame a person trying to leave either don't register for severely negativistic schizoids or are easy to consciously ignore. Cluster B people would move on to the next person very quickly, if they even interact at all.

The best strategy is to simply not play if you can. And if you do, setting firm boundaries will prevent a lot of psychological harm towards you. Grey rocks are no fun, after all.

 

[corvuscorax]

Be wary with any cluster B's of the "FM" or "flying monkeys". These are enablers, whether conciously aware of it or not, that will attempt to intervene on behalf of the cluster b.
Example:
A mom (Karen) has NPD. Dad (Kevin) is her lifelong enabler.
Adult child (Susan) decides to set a boundary with her own child (Ben). We'll go with "no candy an hour before dinner". Karen decides she will ignore Susan's boundary, gives candy anyway. Susan revokes visiting privileges until a real apology and admittance of wrongdoing is given, and all visits will be supervised going forward.
This is where Kevin comes in with the guilt trips after Karen's attempts at guilting didn't work and Susan holds firm to the boundary.
"Your mom loves you. This is unfair to Ben. This is unreasonable, you're overreacting." And so on.
If you are limiting or cutting contact with any cluster B, be extremely wary of mutual friends, family, coworkers, etc, reaching out to you. Limit their information and access to your life, until you can confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt they're not a flying monkey and either acting on behalf of, or feeding information to, the cluster b.

 

[Jewish Fantasy Race]

For the longest time I was an NPD friend's FM because I had known him for a long time and thought he could change. I would defend his godawful behavior to evvvvvveryone. Like hours and hours on the phone explaining to friends why they shouldn't cut him out right there. When I finally wised up and told him off, he lost his absolute shit, like more so than I had ever seen him with anyone else. I thought he was going to going to go for blood and fuck with my career. I ended up giving a half-hearted apology and gray rocking him over the course of a couple months while fazing out methods of contact. Fucking dangerous psycho. My actual friends forgave me, which was nice of them.

 

[Tram Fan]

I just wanted to say that if you got a personality disorder mainly cluster B, fuck you, you're subhuman and I wish you wrong, thank you for your attention.

 

[Pup In Specs]

Is it true that NPD is deep down driven by insecurity and self-loathing, and that their extreme self-centeredness, arrogance, and entitlement is essentially just overcompensation? Or do they actually believe their own hype?

I think Narcissism could classify as a Umbrella term, as there are many types of Narcissist, and differences in how they exhibit their Narcissism. However to answer your question, deep down NPD is driven by both, many Narcissists are driven by insecurities, these people are called Vulnerable Narcissists. Vulnerable Narcissists can often be more introverted and sensitive, they may appear insecure or anxious, however they still feel entitled or special internally, and they are still highly reactive to criticism.

A Vulnerable Narcissists may:

• Feel misunderstood or unappreciated
• Quiet resentment or envy of others
• Fluctuate between low self-esteem and hidden superiority
• Something they think might be "I should be recognized, but people don’t appreciate me."

Meanwhile their is the difference of Grandiose Narcissists that are often very confident, they experience high levels of grandiosity, openly believe that they are superior or special, crave for admiration or attention, and they may come across as charming, however they could be seen as arrogant.

A Grandiose Narcissist may:

• Brag and show-off
• Seek leader-ship roles or spotlight
• Dismiss and devalue others
• Display low empathy and can be prone to manipulate

I think the that whether Vulnerable or Grandiose their still is a problem present, both are prone to maladaptive coping behaviors and hurt themselves or the others around them, none are better or worse. I think a interesting thing to look into though is whether a Vulnerable Narcissist may turn into a Grandiose Narcissist, I think this is possible depending on whether the Vulnerable Narcissist goal is achieved, there is a fact that individuals with NPD are more likely to get plastic surgery, and I think a interesting case study would be the results of a Vulnerable Narcissist getting plastic surgery and how it affected their internal emotions and outward behaviors.

 

[Pup In Specs]

(Excuse me for my Grammar mistakes I was typing this on my phone while walking.)

 

[Trapper]

(Excuse me for my Grammar mistakes I was typing this on my phone while walking.)

If someone with NPD recognised that’s what they had, could they overcome it or would they always feel superior to others? I guess if the latter, they might be able to take it into account when dealing with other people, and compensate for it. I’ve known a few narcissists, and while they seemed blissfully unaware, I’ve often wondered what it’s like for people who wrestle with the cognitive dissonance of feeling special / the need to be famous or a genius, but knowing they’re ultimately ordinary.

 

[Nick Wilde]

Schizoids are kryptonite to Cluster B's? Is this like a rock-paper-scissors thing?

The schizoid mindset has a very high focus on details and pattern recognition (when it develops into a disorder it's basically just that pattern recognition working too hard).

Consequently they are a hard counter to the gaslighting and flip-flopping NPDs rely on, because they immediately spot it, and they can't help but tug on the thread. They constantly question it and pick apart the lies, instead of just submitting.

 

[Pup In Specs]

If someone with NPD recognised that’s what they had, could they overcome it or would they always feel superior to others? I guess if the latter, they might be able to take it into account when dealing with other people, and compensate for it. I’ve known a few narcissists, and while they seemed blissfully unaware, I’ve often wondered what it’s like for people who wrestle with the cognitive dissonance of feeling special / the need to be famous or a genius, but knowing they’re ultimately ordinary.

I am no expert in NPD, nor am I a psychologist, somebody here asked about Nature vs Nurture I think that can play a factor. If you look at it like this, Science nowadays points to a lot of Personality disorders stemming from differences in the Brain. There are several studies linking Personality Disorders to abnormalities in the brain, with the most easy to understand being Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD, Psychopathy / Sociopathy), studies have proven that a large sum of individuals who meet criteria for ASPD also have abnormalities in their brain, such as a smaller prefrontal cortex and amygdala, these regions of the brain controls emotional regulation, decision-making, impulse control, and more. If you'd like to look more into that just look up what the differences are in the brain of a individual with ASPD.

However, to answer your question, I think it is rooted within, people can go into Narcissistic collapse and breakdown once their belief in superiority to others is threatened or proven wrong. But I do believe Narcissists could go under treatment for their disorder and end up better then they started, personally I think that individuals with NPD and ASPD are less likely to be treated or have successful treatment because both often do not find treatment necessary. And both have a grandiose sense of self-worth that is often unbreakable, Narcissists could also still feel special knowing they are ultimately ordinary, infact I think often if they are aware they are a Narcissist they may also feel special knowing that they are different.

 

[Ygolonac]

I'm interested in these disorders and co-morbidity with self-harm, cutting in particular.
It's kind of funny one of the best treatments for self-harm is to just get a fucking hobby. It quickly mutates into a nasty habit, like biting your nails with the intensely negative emotions being muted. Idle hands are the devil's playthings.

 

[Pup In Specs]

I'm interested in these disorders and co-morbidity with self-harm, cutting in particular.
It's kind of funny one of the best treatments for self-harm is to just get a fucking hobby. It quickly mutates into a nasty habit, like biting your nails with the intensely negative emotions being muted. Idle hands are the devil's playthings.

Might sound stupid but I think it has to do with hormone levels, girls self-harm way more then boys, I have met males who self-harm but over 90% are Trannies or just weak Low-T men. For girls with personality disorders especially BPD self-harm to them is as normal as washing your hands or brushing your teeth.

 

[Ygolonac]

Might sound stupid but I think it has to do with hormone levels, girls self-harm way more then boys, I have met males who self-harm but over 90% are Trannies or just weak Low-T men. For girls with personality disorders especially BPD self-harm to them is as normal as washing your hands or brushing your teeth.

It's a whole destructive subculture that feeds off each other. I was with a girl, and she was really trying to find solidarity with me because she saw I had a small scar around my wrist as well. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't feed into this spiral and let her know the truth that fucking lizard bit me as a kid. Don't wallow in it, when they get the urge refocus their attention.

 

[ilovecornsyrup]

Not gonna lie I don't believe in personality disorders. There is no proof of them existing because all they are is patterns of behavior that some people nootice and give names. Nowadays everyone has at least one "narcissist" in the family but what they really mean is that he/she is a selfish asshole. There is no need for labels that medicalize acting in "bad" ways.

Also, personality disorders are diagnosed by having the patient fill a checklist. The observing doctor may only see the patient for a couple of hours, but thats supposed to be enough to judge someone's entire personality and slap a label on it.

 

[Pup In Specs]

Not gonna lie I don't believe in personality disorders. There is no proof of them existing because all they are is patterns of behavior that some people nootice and give names. Nowadays everyone has at least one "narcissist" in the family but what they really mean is that he/she is a selfish asshole. There is no need for labels that medicalize acting in "bad" ways.

I always hear this argument and my refute against it is that its not like something that somebody has, its just something somebody is attached to via patterns of thinking and behavior, I disagree however in that we do need to medicalize these terms and treat people who exhibit behavior that is deemed harmful to themselves or others.

Also, personality disorders are diagnosed by having the patient fill a checklist. The observing doctor may only see the patient for a couple of hours, but thats supposed to be enough to judge someone's entire personality and slap a label on it.

Really depends on the psychiatric treatment you are receiving, I think personality disorders are best associated and not diagnosed, I have met people who have gotten help and recognized such behaviors and what patterns of thinking are wrong, even though Therapy has gynocentric connotations and I think it is a man-made concept in the modern world, it has helped Neurodivergent people that aren't spiteful mutants.

 

[Sperghetti]

Now that we know what Cluster B personality disorders are, what the cure? Some say there is no cure, others say it can be dealt with. What's the consensus?

My personal belief is that there is no cure, because that would mean being a fundamentally different person.

Treatment exists, but the main roadblock to that is in order to pursue treatment in the first place, you need to acknowledge that you have a problem, and for that treatment to do any good, you need to accept that your behavior is something you need to make an effort to change. And Cluster Bs in general seem to be heavily resistant to either of these thought processes.

The other problem is that even when they engage with treatment, it's often primarily focused on getting them to cut down on the self-destructive behaviors like self-harm and impulsiveness, not on teaching them how to treat other people better and be reasonable in relationships.

So most of the success you hear about is based on “has patient made less suicide attempts?”, not “is patient less insufferable to be around?”

 

[Michael Wade]

No one's posted in it for a year.

Now that we know what Cluster B personality disorders are, what the cure? Some say there is no cure, others say it can be dealt with. What's the consensus?

My personal belief is that there is no cure, because that would mean being a fundamentally different person.

Treatment exists, but the main roadblock to that is in order to pursue treatment in the first place, you need to acknowledge that you have a problem, and for that treatment to do any good, you need to accept that your behavior is something you need to make an effort to change. And Cluster Bs in general seem to be heavily resistant to either of these thought processes.

The other problem is that even when they engage with treatment, is often primarily focused on getting them to cut down on the self-destructive behaviors like self-harm and impulsiveness, not on teaching them how to treat other people better and be reasonable in relationships.

So most of the success you hear about is based on “has patient made less suicide attempts?”, not “is patient less insufferable to be around?”

Id like to throw in my two cents. There's no such thing as an "instant" cure. But based on a new theory I read, it sounds like it may be possible to beat it into remission with a changed dietary plan. It might be more in tune with other disorders like Bipolar but id say it still warrants investigation

Opublikuj w wątku „What are you reading right now?"

22 Mar 2026

Brain Energy by
Christopher M. Palmer





This book... hit me pretty hard. Not because it was bad, but because it made me think about things that I once considered irreversible in people I care about. The author is a scientist turned amateur writer, a man who sounds gay when he talks, but..... I think he found out exactly why people turn crazy and how to properly treat it. It's not a cure book, but it can be a roadmap to something resembling a cure.

The first 4 chapters are facts and stats about just how shit the modern medical industry is at addressing mental...

• Michael Wade

Reakcje: x 10 x 2 x 2

Ive got more details here but the gist of it is the single common element of every mental illness is the way our brain processes energy from food. Normal people don't have a problem eating slop, but other people do, and this has a cascading effect on the brain that gets worse and worse. If a person can change their diet or change other things in their environment that effects their body's metabolism ( lack of sunlight, lack of sleep,) then there is a decent possibility thing's can change for the better. It's something that would take 6 months to a year but Im certain it's the best possible chance of anything resembling a cure.

Here's the problem that warrants its own thread. How the hell do you convince someone that they need a cure/treatment and how do you keep them on it?

Even if you made an instant cure pill.... Good luck getting them on it.

 

[Gaystapo]

Not gonna lie I don't believe in personality disorders. There is no proof of them existing because all they are is patterns of behavior that some people nootice and give names. Nowadays everyone has at least one "narcissist" in the family but what they really mean is that he/she is a selfish asshole. There is no need for labels that medicalize acting in "bad" ways.

Also, personality disorders are diagnosed by having the patient fill a checklist. The observing doctor may only see the patient for a couple of hours, but thats supposed to be enough to judge someone's entire personality and slap a label on it.

I always hear this argument and my refute against it is that its not like something that somebody has, its just something somebody is attached to via patterns of thinking and behavior, I disagree however in that we do need to medicalize these terms and treat people who exhibit behavior that is deemed harmful to themselves or others.

Personality disorders definitely exist. However, the stigma surrounding them and the fact psychologists treat them as "lifelong conditions" is problematic. In my opinion, once you no longer fit the diagnostic criteria for them anymore, you are "cured". But a psychologist's official opinion would be that you are "in remission", but still have it, so you will have that heavily stigmatized diagnosis on your record FOREVER, which is dumb. This is also why psychologists are hesistant to diagnose people with them. The whole system needs to be changed. The over identification with the permanent label can lead some to use the label as an excuse for abusive behavior.

I think the only cases where it's permanent is if you have severe brain damage, as is probably the case for extreme ASPD serial killers. But someone with BPD/NPD can absolutely overcome those conditions if they learn how to be self-aware about it and are genuinely dedicated to change. We also live in a time where social media encourages people to develop Cluster B traits, which is why we're seeing more of it.

There was a time in my life where I would have probably fit the diagnostic criteria for mild NPD or BPD, but I've learned to become much more aware of my behavior. Most people grow out of these behavioral patterns once they realize how badly it's affecting their life. But if they're rich and heavily enabled, then they could remain Cluster B for life.

There's this weird gooner fantasy of sexualizing Cluster Bs. I've noticed on this website and similar websites, young men tend to have this mindset of "I hate BPD women but they're also so hot" or "I want to be a badass sociopath like Patrick Bateman". It's cringe.

If you have a pattern of dating Cluster Bs, especially if you say something like "BPD women are my type", then you need to take a look in the mirror because that means you yourself probably have Cluster B traits, as BPD x NPD is not an uncommon couple dynamic. And no mentally sane person would desire a BPD partner. Porn addiction is likely for the "BPD women are my type" people, since BPDers are more likely to be into kinky sex like extreme BDSM or DDLG, which is where the "BPD is hot" mentality comes from.

Sometimes, their hypersexual promiscuity is a form of self harm, which is why they have a tendency to act like whores and then have a "BPD split" where they accuse the man they slept with of rape or something. I theorize that maybe their disgust with the person they slept with, is actually their disgust with themselves, but they're too cognitively dissonant to realize that. Their subconscious doesn't feel good about being treated like a cheap prostitute doing degenerate kinkplay with strangers, but their conscious doesn't recognize that, so they instead blame it on the man they slept with. The harm is real, but they can't recognize they're doing the harm to themselves, because of the "sex positivity" propaganda, so they instead blame whoever they whored themselves out to.

But I do think BPD women can heal if they try to, I've seen it happen. Unless they somehow reach the top 1% of Onlyfans, then eventually the consequences of their druggie whoring catches up to them and forces them to change. But I don't want to turn this into a gender war sperg thread, and BPD men are also a thing (see "Isaac Uncooked" for an example of male BPD, male BPD also tends to present itself as alcoholism).

 

[ilovecornsyrup]

Personality disorders definitely exist. However, the stigma surrounding them and the fact psychologists treat them as "lifelong conditions" is problematic. In my opinion, once you no longer fit the diagnostic criteria for them anymore, you are "cured". But a psychologist's official opinion would be that you are "in remission", but still have it, so you will have that heavily stigmatized diagnosis on your record FOREVER, which is dumb.

The problem is that some (not all) personality disorders are really behavioral disorders in nature. You can be diagnosed with say ASPD purely off of behavior alone. A lot of the criteria for ASPD/BPD/HPD is just teenager behavior. Let's say you are a heroin addict: that's 4 ASPD criteria that you fit automatically. Say you are a teenager who got abused and is traumatized: that's 4-6 BPD criteria from those symptoms.

This is also why psychologists are hesistant to diagnose people with them. The whole system needs to be changed. The over identification with the permanent label can lead some to use the label as an excuse for abusive behavior.

I haven't seen that, in fact I've seen psychologists and psychiatrists throw around personality disorder labels very fast at patients they barely know. I think we're criticizing the same aspect but from slightly different angles. IMO over-identification is a problem because you sum up a person's entire personality, the literal fucking core of someone, to a diagnosis. And when you do that to a young person who has barely developed their personality yet, you are giving them an "identity" as a mold to fit their future behavior into. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I disagree however in that we do need to medicalize these terms and treat people who exhibit behavior that is deemed harmful to themselves or others.

Say you believe it's okay to hurt someone to get ahead (ASPD). Why is this an illness and how do you treat it? In any other time in history this would be a sin or moral failing, it has nothing in common with an actual mental illness like schizophrenia or bipolar which can not be "chosen" or reasoned out of. Take schizoids, they can be boiled down to extreme introverts. Introversion is a core personality trait that you can see in toddlers and that can not be changed throughout your life (not counting extreme brain damage and trauma). At what point is extraversion/introversion an illness then?

I think the only cases where it's permanent is if you have severe brain damage

I agree but severe brain damage can be caused by other things than a head injury. A traumatic event (I don't mean like your dad hitting you but like torture, rape etc) can result in severe brain damage, the same is true if your early childhood was fucked. Severely neglected babies are literally damned to being retards who can't speak or control basic impulses for the rest of their lives .