The conference with the Judge and the attorneys in the case occured this morning. Benedict Susserton, STDJ's attorney did actually show up, and was a complete shambles. Karl/Shuli's lawyer also showed up (as well as Karl Hamburgers himself and Lucy Tightbox)
Lucy's reporting on the case is above, but here are the interesting timestamps if you want to skip all the bullshit.
22:05 - Picture of Susser with his duffel bag reminiscent of Sadfleck and Urban Meyer's Tiny Pizza
24:45 - Video of Susser struggling to extricate himself from his own jacket and belt; eventually he is rescued by a court official
26:30 - Actual reporting on the status update begins (bear in mind this is solely reporting by a biased party, there are no court documents issued or to be issued, as all of this occured
in camera. However, Caylee hasn't really obfuscated anything in this case before, and none of the claims are outrageous (hell, they are barely interesting), so I'm inclined to believe everything.)
John's filings are only slightly more comprehensive, relevant, and legally supported than your average Russel Greer filing, while Karl/Shuli's lawyer is on par with Hardin in both legal acumen and male sexiness. So that gets taken into consideration, as the only thing that the judge is going off of is the written record (and whatever he discussed in the brief 35 minute discussion today).
My summary, if you find reading a couple sentences preferable to listening to a big-tittied paralegal talk about it:
Basically the case is complete. There will be no oral arguments, and further written motions/submissions seem unlikely. The judge will review everything within 90 days (technically 60 days from 18 May), and issue a ruling on or before that date. Now normally, this wouldn't mean shit because judges are irresponsible faggots, but this judge, Sir Vincent D'onofrio, JD, Esq., apparently has a habit of ruling concisely and on time, so there is approximately a 10% chance that the ruling actually occurs.
Now, what that ruling is can be several things:
1. The case can actually proceed to discovery. This would be the most hilarious option, and therefore is extremely unlikely. STDJ cannot afford discovery, AND his kids would be prime targets for the defense to question because he is a moron who dragged them into the case. 10%
2. The case can be dismissed via anti-SLAPP motions in the record. In which case STDJ will be forced to pay Karl and Shuli's substantial legal feed (which are not able to be bankrupted away). They won't be able to go after his car or house, but everything else is on the table. This would be the most reasonable, just, and legally supported decision, and therefore the least likely. 5%
3. The case can be dismissed without anti-SLAPP measures, with prejudice, meaning STDJ cannot file it again. A somewhat boring result, with a meaningless, but still existent penalty against STDJ. 15% likely
4. The case is dismissed, without anti-SLAPP and without prejudice. The most boring, easiest, and most likely outcome. 50%
5. The case is dismissed, without anti-SLAPP and without prejudice, BUT with a hilarious and excoriating supporting judgement that we can read. 10%
6. Something bizarre happens. And I'm actually giving this credence, because I have a feeling that Susser will pull out of the case and STDJ will get a new lawyer (somehow), who will submit new motions and kick this down the road and add a bunch of shit to it. Now this
might not even be possible, depending on how binding Judge D'onofrio's current judgement is, but the legal system in NY is nutso, and there's always room to make cases take longer and be more boring, so I'm still leaving this in as an option. 10%
