How do men make friends as adults?

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Just don't, making friends and talking to people unprompted always feels like seeking attention and it's not something one wants to be perceived as. Feel free to mark this full of dumpsters and puzzle pieces.

In the off chance that I do usually I get into a group discussion of sorts and take part in the talk at hand. Do that couple of times and you get familiarised with the people there. Usually do the same for groups with similar interests as well. One on one conversations with new people are generally very awkward and uneasy especially if there's a lack of similar tone and thought.
 
For me it's always been playing music, but I see these other responses and think at its core it's about finding a way to demonstrate some level of mastery in a skill, your willingness to work at improving it, and the ability to take constructive criticism. That's what earns respect and creates real friends; the bonds you form when you're in situations that require teamwork and responsibility to one another, like being in a band, are deep. When men compete and respect each other, the more knowledgable or skilled one will usually be happy to have it acknowledged and give tips and mentorship, it's not a zero-sum game, and who wouldn't want a better competitor or teammate in the future? It just makes you elevate yourself if everyone around you is also improving.
 
Whenever I'm in a new situation where I get that feeling of "everyone knows each other but me, and is in pre-established friend groups already", I find the people that look the most like me and just sit politely with them and get to know them. As in, if you get a new job and go to the cateen for lunch, don't sit by yourself like a sperg, or if you smoke, don't smoke by yourself, go with the smokers on their break to the usual spot.

Since I'm not an abrasive or otherwise inept person, I've never had any sort of mean girls style rejection when I just go join in and sit and talk with people. If you want friends go be a friend. Jump in there.

I can't tell you how many times people build up this delusion that everyone hates them, but really everyone is just giving that guy space because he's made 0 attempt to be friendly and acts like he doesn't want in the group.

Most people WANT friends and WANT to socialize and WANT a harmonious group where everyone fits in, they WANT you to be one of them, part of the team.
 
bliblblblbbllb powiedział(a):
Whenever I'm in a new situation where I get that feeling of "everyone knows each other but me, and is in pre-established friend groups already", I find the people that look the most like me and just sit politely with them and get to know them. As in, if you get a new job and go to the cateen for lunch, don't sit by yourself like a sperg, or if you smoke, don't smoke by yourself, go with the smokers on their break to the usual spot.

Since I'm not an abrasive or otherwise inept person, I've never had any sort of mean girls style rejection when I just go join in and sit and talk with people. If you want friends go be a friend. Jump in there.

I can't tell you how many times people build up this delusion that everyone hates them, but really everyone is just giving that guy space because he's made 0 attempt to be friendly and acts like he doesn't want in the group.

Most people WANT friends and WANT to socialize and WANT a harmonious group where everyone fits in, they WANT you to be one of them, part of the team.
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Yes. Even if you don't know anyone just go and bunch up with someone and link on the conversation.

Maybe they are talking about cars or some subject you don't know anything about, so interject with a question about it (the easier the question the better) so they include you on the conversation and start chatting.

Is really easy to meet people, the hard part is to follow up on them. I find that the older I get the less I want to know about others... But that's just me and my boomer mentality.
 
Hardline Traditionalist powiedział(a):
We don't.
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Men have family and people they've known since they were five. Sometimes a coworker.
Women have coworkers, other women in their immediate communities (church, college, bookclub, etc.), and very rarely people they've known since they were five.

Making friends is really fucking easy as a woman. But keeping up with people is an emotional drain that most people can't balance.
 
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