BLACKHAWK_Entropy
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 19 Mar 2024
this is ...
I don't care about it.
why do i need to be friends? I don't really have anything. To be honest, I don't get at all what you're on.
How do men make friends as adults?
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why do i need to be friends? I don't really have anything. To be honest, I don't get at all what you're on.
- Dołączono
- 30 Mar 2023
Nobody can really force you to live your life a specific way, but they can still be concerned if you basically tell them that you aren't living it. Having friends and an emotional support network can be pretty beneficial, but there are other things you can do depending on what you want out of life. Some things do have prerequisites though.
BLACKHAWK_Entropy
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 19 Mar 2024
I am aware of this.
- Dołączono
- 21 Sty 2024
Do you have your family?
- Dołączono
- 9 Sty 2024
Where do you live? Not trying to dox you, I've just never heard the phrase "gym hall" in American English and your national origin might give us more to work with. You're German? Surely there's an active political organization looking for young, energetic men. Etc.
Even the most misanthropic brilliant sperg I know needs friends. It doesn't have to be like some gay sitcom. You can have other misanthropic autist friends. Maybe you play Warhammer and mutter "TTD" to each other once or twice and then go home. But we're a social animal and I suspect we need at least some subconscious affirmation that we have a tribe.
Meeting Internet weirdoes is possible. I lucked into a group of guys I met in Cyberspace who did an IRL yearly gathering that just so happened to be within driving distance of me. None of them turned out to be serial killers or ass-rapists, which I will admit is a real risk. They're actually outwardly-normal family men for the most part, and we've all become True and Honest real-life friends on top of being Internet acquaintances. One of the benefits of hanging out with people you've pre-filtered for being odd is they won't mind if you're an anti-social autist. I imagine it's the same if you meet fellow hobbyists. The guys at Foamer Club won't mock you for jerking off to a train for example. My late uncle was a trainsperg avant le lettre and he made friends over HAM radio. Just try to find your people. If you're posting on here you're probably Not Like the Other Girls, so it's not going to be as easy as just cheering on the local sports club with the other normies. But it can be done, and you'll probably be happier and healthier for it.
- Dołączono
- 6 Lip 2022
By speaking your mind and not getting offended when other men speak theirs.
- Dołączono
- 10 Sty 2024
Are you sadbaiting for some reason? Like, do you post on the farms, and then go beat off? What does this do for you? Are you hard right now? Are you gonna jack off to the little bell lit up with a “1” at the top of your page?
If this isn’t bait designed to derail a perfectly fine thread, then are you actually this much of a miserable loser in real life? Do you mutter about being Forever Alone ™ under your breath on public transport?
Life is an amazing gift and part of what makes life so special is people to share it with. We’re creatures designed for tribal and village living, we fester without neighbors who’s names we know. The simplest and most magical and special thing you can have in life is just sitting in a park with a friend talking. Theres really not much more to it than that.
Do not get caught up on finding one person to do this with. Romance is something that just happens — the consequences of making romance a primary goal has been well documented (Chris). You find love after you learn how to have friends, because love is just a deeper, stranger kind of friendship.
Hope this response is enough to finally make you shoot your goo and get what you wanted out of this thread or something.
BLACKHAWK_Entropy
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 19 Mar 2024
i get your point with chris. it is true that is miserable future that has to never happen. still id rather have irl friend who lives with me rather than someoen from the web who plays call of duty or someone who might just one day disappear.
i never had any sleepovers.
never had any birthday parties
i am alone in that respect i did never experience stuff like these.
I am not against having friends. But it can be unlikely, because I might not have anything.
balupton
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 26 Kwi 2023
You have to become someone worthy of friendship... if you are a loser, you need to fix that first; fortunately there will be other losers trying to become less of a loser, so you can bond over that.
In 2023, I started working out 5x a week at outdoor gyms as I had contempt for how weak I had become as an adult, over time I became more comfortable talking to local strangers, and for some things you will be wiser and for some things they will be wiser; over jan-feb there will be an influx of new people, and it's now a good place to help them along the journey you started a year ago. Any self improvement activity will be suitable for this, eg. bouldering, running, etc; however outdoor gyms and running are good as they are free. If running, just run next to them, wave, and ask if they want a pacer for a while. (The same also applies for eating out, there is no harm in asking if you can share a table with someone to enjoy your meal together).
Eventually you'll find people you click with, and you just suggest some activities to do outside the normal workout; like sharing cultural meals, or some other hobby you may both be interested in.
If either are a tourist, suggest some sight seeing.
I haven't had any luck with meetups, or churches; meetup people have been too quirky for me, and churches have been too straight-and-narrow for me. In general, you will jive with people who have had similar experiences to you. Perhaps meetups or churches will work for you, they are certainly worth a shot.
A most important discovery I had that helped me socialise was recognising that anyone can get stuck in bad patterns and sometimes a little external influence can really help, not excluding myself. This has helped me notice and strike up conversations with people who turn out to be suffering in one way or another, who otherwise are perfectly fine, and after some external recalibration, they are back to being fine. It's the songs: Bright Eyes - Bowl of Oranges, The Streets - Edge of a Cliff. The inverse is also true, sometimes, it turns out they are the wiser and have insights for me.
Another important discovery was that many people haven't yet had friendships where the friend cares for them as a person. If you care about someone as they are, and then by extension care about what they are telling you, this can be transformative for them as sadly many people don't have or have never had anyone that actually cares about them as a person first, and persona second. If you can nail this, people open up.
A caveat here is, people are forgiving and assistive for awkwardness, but not for being creepy. A book on manners and etiquette (common before the 1980s) will help you learn the difference. If you are bad at noticing if someone has been made uncomfortable, then be like a teenager in a modern american movie and ask.
Finally, friendships like any relationship are a commitment, the better you are at them the more that accurate boundaries can be mutually intuited; from trivial light friendships you have, to strong long-term comrades in life; if you are new to friendships, or new to a particular one, this intuition takes time to learn and you may rush things or the opposite, fail to be there for a friend in a way they needed. If you are now developing a good friendship, it's worth coaching your friend occasionally on how you can both be better friends to each other; as when tragedies occur, such as a parent, spouse, or child dying, you need to be able to support them effectively and meaningfully; or if your friend and you disagree on something axiomatic, you can still heal and value the friendship regardless, without the temptation to burn a bridge.
Finally, use technology to help you. Write down everything you remember as a note in the contact for the friend. It's tiring to keep asking their names of family, what their interests are, or what the progress is on whatever it was; just write it down and review the note before catching up. And if you think of great questions to ask them, add it to the note, and bring it up next time you catch up.
If you are asking about heterosexual romantic friendships, then all the above applies and you court (additionally filter) on compatibility of these pillars: foundations, values, lifestyle, chemistry, attraction. If you are clear on those, and have implemented consistent anti-loser practices, there is no reason you won't be getting 100 likes a week, 25 matches a week, 5 calls a week, and about 5 potentialities a month. Court first, then date; no one likes their time and youth wasted. The longer you spend in courting mode, the more quality mates you'll be available and exposed to; if you jump into dating, you'll emotionally and timewise block yourself off to other potentially better options; women will want to do this to secure you and block you off subversively, so be careful and firm despite hedonism. There is no harm staying in courting and working on yourself, as a man you have all the time in the world to select someone worthwhile enough to devote to.
In 2023, I started working out 5x a week at outdoor gyms as I had contempt for how weak I had become as an adult, over time I became more comfortable talking to local strangers, and for some things you will be wiser and for some things they will be wiser; over jan-feb there will be an influx of new people, and it's now a good place to help them along the journey you started a year ago. Any self improvement activity will be suitable for this, eg. bouldering, running, etc; however outdoor gyms and running are good as they are free. If running, just run next to them, wave, and ask if they want a pacer for a while. (The same also applies for eating out, there is no harm in asking if you can share a table with someone to enjoy your meal together).
Eventually you'll find people you click with, and you just suggest some activities to do outside the normal workout; like sharing cultural meals, or some other hobby you may both be interested in.
If either are a tourist, suggest some sight seeing.
I haven't had any luck with meetups, or churches; meetup people have been too quirky for me, and churches have been too straight-and-narrow for me. In general, you will jive with people who have had similar experiences to you. Perhaps meetups or churches will work for you, they are certainly worth a shot.
A most important discovery I had that helped me socialise was recognising that anyone can get stuck in bad patterns and sometimes a little external influence can really help, not excluding myself. This has helped me notice and strike up conversations with people who turn out to be suffering in one way or another, who otherwise are perfectly fine, and after some external recalibration, they are back to being fine. It's the songs: Bright Eyes - Bowl of Oranges, The Streets - Edge of a Cliff. The inverse is also true, sometimes, it turns out they are the wiser and have insights for me.
Another important discovery was that many people haven't yet had friendships where the friend cares for them as a person. If you care about someone as they are, and then by extension care about what they are telling you, this can be transformative for them as sadly many people don't have or have never had anyone that actually cares about them as a person first, and persona second. If you can nail this, people open up.
A caveat here is, people are forgiving and assistive for awkwardness, but not for being creepy. A book on manners and etiquette (common before the 1980s) will help you learn the difference. If you are bad at noticing if someone has been made uncomfortable, then be like a teenager in a modern american movie and ask.
Finally, friendships like any relationship are a commitment, the better you are at them the more that accurate boundaries can be mutually intuited; from trivial light friendships you have, to strong long-term comrades in life; if you are new to friendships, or new to a particular one, this intuition takes time to learn and you may rush things or the opposite, fail to be there for a friend in a way they needed. If you are now developing a good friendship, it's worth coaching your friend occasionally on how you can both be better friends to each other; as when tragedies occur, such as a parent, spouse, or child dying, you need to be able to support them effectively and meaningfully; or if your friend and you disagree on something axiomatic, you can still heal and value the friendship regardless, without the temptation to burn a bridge.
Finally, use technology to help you. Write down everything you remember as a note in the contact for the friend. It's tiring to keep asking their names of family, what their interests are, or what the progress is on whatever it was; just write it down and review the note before catching up. And if you think of great questions to ask them, add it to the note, and bring it up next time you catch up.
If you are asking about heterosexual romantic friendships, then all the above applies and you court (additionally filter) on compatibility of these pillars: foundations, values, lifestyle, chemistry, attraction. If you are clear on those, and have implemented consistent anti-loser practices, there is no reason you won't be getting 100 likes a week, 25 matches a week, 5 calls a week, and about 5 potentialities a month. Court first, then date; no one likes their time and youth wasted. The longer you spend in courting mode, the more quality mates you'll be available and exposed to; if you jump into dating, you'll emotionally and timewise block yourself off to other potentially better options; women will want to do this to secure you and block you off subversively, so be careful and firm despite hedonism. There is no harm staying in courting and working on yourself, as a man you have all the time in the world to select someone worthwhile enough to devote to.
Ostatnio edytowane:
- Dołączono
- 28 Kwi 2018
you just talk. Small chatter can lead to something interesting.
- Dołączono
- 10 Sty 2024
Going to say this, then I am going to be done with this.
Posting in this thread was an opportunity to make friends. You know that right? I could have thought you were pretty cool, and I could have gone into your DMs to talk about vidya or fried chicken or whatever. You know that right? You had the opportunity to make a friend?
This entire thread you have done nothing but whine and complain. You have done nothing but gone “poor, poor me. woe is me. I’m so lonely. I’m so lonely woe is me.”
Your behavior is repulsive and masturbatory. You put yourself in this dark little hole and let no light in. Every time someone tries to brighten up your day or tell you things can be okay, you shut them down.
Anyone in this thread could have been a potential friend.
I have no issue making friends in real life, I have practice doing it. I can very easily get someone out to the bar to share some drinks. I can very easily get someone to a park to talk about life. I can very easily call up a buddy to catch up.
I’m an extrovert and I love making friends, and I’ve gone out of my way to adopt introverts in the past and get close to people that were hard to get close to. I could never imagine shooting the shit with you. It would be fucking miserable.
You have made yourself unlikeable. You continue to make yourself unlikeable. Every opportunity you have to make a positive impression, you will throw it away with your “poor me, woe is me, I’m so lonely” attitude.
I think you should start a streaming career, I would love to see a thread on you one day.
- Dołączono
- 30 Wrz 2018
you sound like you think you're better than everyone
- Dołączono
- 30 Mar 2023
I don't know if it helps, but for me I just don't really "connect" with other people. Like I'm aware of them and somewhat know how to react to them, but it's like somehow I don't really "see" other people or get anything out of interacting with them except a headache. That's something I'm aware of about myself and something I accept that I can't easily change, so there's no point in complaining about how I'm not able to connect with other people.
- Dołączono
- 19 Gru 2022
How’s that working out for you?
- Dołączono
- 4 Lip 2022
considering his pink triangle, clearly not very well
BLACKHAWK_Entropy
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 19 Mar 2024
i havent played video games in years with except of soma mobile crap. Is this really the only thing?
I was mostly simply replying to your points, not really complaining.
okay. but i never complained i stated fact that I dont like marvel and dont play video games.
I have actually done that. It was boring.
trvth
- Dołączono
- 4 Sie 2022
he sounds like a fag with aids wasting everyone's time for attention.
go read his blog on his user page, he needs to get over himself before he can even try making friends
SHIGGSHOGG
kiwifarms.net
- Dołączono
- 2 Lis 2023
Go to church, fishing, skiing, or play airsoft. Met a fella at a county fair and we now do all three together, simple as that. We won't talk for a couple months, then we'll go do do some shit like nothing happened.
Went to a small rural school and everyone ended up being a fag, going schizo, or got into drugs. Highschool with way more people in a city and everyone was a huge fag and I didn't participate in anything bc sports are gay. Getting kicked out of hs doesn't help your chances either, but oh well.
Get used to being lonely or an hero if you're not cut out for this shit, be a man and thug it out.
Went to a small rural school and everyone ended up being a fag, going schizo, or got into drugs. Highschool with way more people in a city and everyone was a huge fag and I didn't participate in anything bc sports are gay. Getting kicked out of hs doesn't help your chances either, but oh well.
Get used to being lonely or an hero if you're not cut out for this shit, be a man and thug it out.