6/17/2018 - Trannymobile on Parade - Even gayer than my mom's gay Prius

[Butta Face Lopez]

Man that would be downright spacious compared to how the dogs usually live

 

[idosometimes]

I'm the farthest thing from a car person, but aren't sports cars terrible at towing?

Yes and no. The supposed record for a Nurburgring lap while towing a trailer is held by a Panamera Sport. You can google "911 towing" or any other sports car with "towing" to find pictures and videos of people hauling campers/caravans, boats, and other stuff with them. Various sports cars have towing attachments. When recommended hauling capacity is "not recommended", you can still usually find low capacity aftermarket tow kits.

It is not the ideal use of the vehicle, but it could be done. Sports cars have the power to get something moving and then keep it moving. I would hope that the trailer has its own brakes.

 

[AprilRains]

Brianna Wu is ugly and I do not recognize her bullshit MC.

 

[Richard Stabone]

He's never made it to any public demonstration or event despite all his promises to show up at every single one. I don't think there's reason to believe he will show up to this one either. So far he has only showed up to closed door events to avoid the public ridicule.

Also this thing starts in the morning and there is no fucking chance she's getting up before noon. Maybe Frank will show up and take a picture so she can put it on her Twitter feed.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Nah, it wouldn't be a rematch since the original challenge was either the Prius or the RWV against that fucking stupid Honda bike Wu paraded around - you know, the one with the idiotic eyelashes on the lights.

Should also be noteworthy how that bike has virtually vanished, despite Flu claiming to have been an avid bike racer (and why Jace challenged Flu to a street race in the first place). Since Flu doesn't sell anything (though a barely ridden sportbike like that one would probably have a good resale price), I suspect 'REDLINE' is sitting forgotten under a tarp in the basement.

Poor thing is probably relieved to have been relegated to "winter storage." No bike, not even a Honda, should have the indignity of those eyelashes. I can't have been the only one hoping they'd rip off and go straight through Brian's neck, but I doubt it was ever ridden fast enough - or at all - for aerodynamics to be an issue.

I'm ok with trannies usually, I don't care. But every now and then, one comes along that is so fucking obnoxious that I feel us real wimminz should have the right to say no, do not want. Shudder. Sorry lads, but all yours.

Now I'm just holding out for Gru to crash the spastic mobile. That should comprehensively fuck over her socjus mien, crashing a porsche and taking out the local "Fibrohypochondria Awareness Group" in the process.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Poor thing is probably relieved to have been relegated to "winter storage." No bike, not even a Honda, should have the indignity of those eyelashes. I can't have been the only one hoping they'd rip off and go straight through Brian's neck, but I doubt it was ever ridden fast enough - or at all - for aerodynamics to be an issue.

To this day we have no proof Brianna has ever actually ridden the damn thing. Every single instance of recorded footage suspiciously hides any identifying features of the rider. Frankly, given how irrelevant the bike is to Wu's image these days - the whole eyelashes bullshit was because the bike was named 'Redline' after the redicuously stupid bike in R60 - I'm surprised the TT got sold (most likely to be scrapped for parts) before they got a few hundred bucks from selling a largely great condition (because it was rarely ridden) sport bike like that.

Honestly, I'm still unsure if Brianna even has a legal driver's license, since there's been occasional mentions of using uber services, every image Wu takes in a car always is them being driven around by the screaming midget (including that traffic one where Wu claimed to be in a Porsche but eagle eyed Kiwis pointed out the dash was unmistakably the Audi TT), and seems to generally lack common knowledge regarding driving that would normally be required on the fucking driver's test 'written' portion.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

There's also a pic of her poncing about on a Ducati Monster (ah finks) which....just....no, fuck off.

It's hard to tell cos the pix are all focussed on Bootfaced Bri and not the bike, but it looks like the only aftermarket parts she put on were purely cosmetic like those stupid fucking eyelashes (the Monster had Ohlins suspension but that was standard) :autism: :autism: :autism: And all the Twatter comments were about her, not the bike - she even ignored questions as to what it was; did she even know? Yet is trying to sell the story this is her race-adjusted bike, without ANY of the race mods, or even road ones, and no autistic sperging about minutiae? Again, fuck off.

I don't think Wu's done anything but pose with it, wearing carefully selected "biker chick" aesthetic and no actual bike gear in sight. I know bugger-all about cars but just the fact its a Porsche indicates its a similar show (not knocking Porsches) but I bet it burns car lovers here just like the bike thing cos it assumes everyone is ignorant and we just buy her paper-thin image.

Is anything about this nightmare narc authentic? From her fanny to her "game developer" to her supposed hard chick crap, it's all just a thin veneer of self-importance. And that, presumably, is what she thinks women are?

 

[Optimus Prime]

There's also a pic of her poncing about on a Ducati Monster (ah finks) which....just....no, fuck off.

It's hard to tell cos the pix are all focussed on Bootfaced Bri and not the bike, but it looks like the only aftermarket parts she put on were purely cosmetic like those stupid fucking eyelashes (the Monster had Ohlins suspension but that was standard) :autism: :autism: :autism: And all the Twatter comments were about her, not the bike - she even ignored questions as to what it was; did she even know? Yet is trying to sell the story this is her race-adjusted bike, without ANY of the race mods, or even road ones, and no autistic sperging about minutiae? Again, fuck off.

I looked into the bike some time ago, which fortunately yielded results because Wu sperged about it hard when they were still pushing a bullshit "oh yeah I race bikes all the time" narrative. "Redline" is a 2009 Honda CBR 600rr. Pretty much everything else Wu says in regards to themselves is of course lies and bullshit - @Jaimas can back me up on this but that motorcycle accident is about as real as Brianna Wu having been born a natural human female.

Is anything about this nightmare narc authentic? From her fanny to her "game developer" to her supposed hard chick crap, it's all just a thin veneer of self-importance. And that, presumably, is what she thinks women are?

Oh, it gets even better - unrelated to the trannybike, but old research shows I basically found a whole article where Wu blathers on about motherhood and having babies so hard that even Metroid: Other M would say "that's taking the whole maternity thing too far."

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Yep, I had it down as essentially a CBR model but thanks @Optimus Prime for saving me endless autistic pickings to find the exact model. I know, I know. Sad :autism:

It's actually the perfect bike for pseuds like Brian. CBRs are the stalwarts of the superbike world. Everything is just....nice. Smooth ride, OKish styling (well, some. Early CBRs were 'orrible) comfortable ride for an SB, but none of the wahey of the Kwaks, beauty of Ducatis or sheer eyeball rolling I'm-going-to-die terror/fun of any decent superbike. They're the white bread of that world. And then Brian adds stupid, useless cosmetic additions but doesn't seem to have done the bare minimum otherwise - she wants you to look at the stupid lashes but doesn't seem to have even changed out the stock cans? It's a bike to pose with.

I guess the only good thing is that if she didn't ride it, it's at least not been smashed up. But even there she wants victim points. "Every time I ride I'm 17 times more likely to get into an accident" - well DUH! I've never heard any biker even acknowledge that - yes, it's true, but its not the point. If you think like that, you don't buy a superbike....

Sorry, I'm sperging. But she's such an empty vessel who wants to be seen differently yet won't put any effort in. All she's doing is copying how she thinks others with the same interests behave, or playing a part to fit her 2D image of certain groups and it just comes offdisingenuous. Everything is a facade and behind that? Nothing. But god forbid she just be painfully average and she will reeeeeee like a pro if anyone dare expose the Emperor's Clothes. I don't really follow gaming but as far as I can tell, she did the exact same - inserted herself, claimed status, demanded special treatment then chimped out, all over a game nobody cares about and seems to be universally reviled as complete shit. It'd still be shit if Butch Boris the weightlifter made it.

Most women don't want faux respect because everyone must admire the wimminz. We want to earn it, not a dispensation ordered and grudgingly awarded. Yet this fucking mess seems to think she speaks for us collectively and all she and her ilk do is provide ammunition for the few real misogynists.

Ps. Thank fuck she can't have bio kids. She and Frank both fell out the Ugly Tree and hit all he branches on the way down. Can you imagine what their mixed genes would produce?

 

[The Great Citracett]

Well seeing as she bought yet ANOTHER Porsche the other day, a convertible this time, maybe that will be the new parade car.

 

[Kosher Dill]

She and Frank both fell out the Ugly Tree and hit all he branches on the way down.

Well, John went out of the way to climb the Ugly Tree, go out on a branch, saw it out from under himself and fall, then club himself a few more times with the branch for good measure. He wasn't particularly bad-looking before trooning out.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Must be perspective. I thought he had a face like a smacked arse beforehand as well, but you're certainly right in that he did himself no favours. All our cows seem to think all you need do is stick a wig on a pig...

 

[Randy Lahey]

Spoiler: John’s New Car

 

[Bassomatic]

Can't drive stick, car new so not used to, and towing. This can't end poorly , not at all.

Honestly, it'll be funnier if Frank drives it. Her new P car can creep, but not being happy at all, even a very light tow you'll probably need to ride the clutch to hold from a stall , nature of the car and it's gearing.

For those saying frame damage and all, nah they are stout if anything the hitch and how it connects will take a beating but I frankly doubt it from how little stress it'll be under.

If someone who was a good driver, used to towing was shown this setup or idea they would suggest another car for it for sure. Hubris is gonna cost a new clutch, but I'm sure Germans being literal nazi's they will have sabotaged the car to make her look bad.

I really hope someone goes from this site so they can mention the stink of a burning clutch, for those who don't know it's smell, it's kinda gunpowdery. If indeed rode long /hard enough you risk fly wheel warping as well. I'd love to see Wu's race clutch saga since you know he'd buy the most radical one to prove he's a pro racer and having it unsprung etc and some of those clutches are on off switches that even skilled experienced stick drivers can't manage.

Forgive I just wanted a bit of a car sperg but to see Johhny let his new toy go out of the way to fuck his shit up greatly amuses me.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

@Kroster you know anyone who might be going to this shit?

 

[Norvic]

The put up tomorrow's parade running order.

Wu's clown car is almost at the very back of the parade. She's not towing anything, she's an item of her own. I wonder if this is the only reason they bought the convertible, so Wu can sit in it and do a royal wave to crowd who have no fucking idea who she is.

I hope someone posts photos or videos of the event so we can see how little effort Wu puts in.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

For the car freaks out there, is she talking the same level of pure 100% bullshit she does about bikes? Those articles @Optimus Prime gave me were just hilarious in their absolute about-face utter wrong. Tho I want to see her on one of these track days she "lives for" - it'd be less 80mph around bends in skintight leathers and no helmet (no, Brian, you're not Rossi) and more oops-went-bog-on-starting-line. Not to mention they'd make her take the only additions she claims off because unnecessary and dangerous. I'm unconvinced she's ever ridden anything bigger than a moped and I'll put money down on her never having done a track day. I doubt she's even watched the roundy-roundy on the telly.

It's just badly-written fantasy in the purplest of prose. But I know shag-all about cars - I'm guessing that all she actually does is tool around in an automatic and has absolutely no knowledge whatsoever of anything under the hood, is actually a pretty lousy driver, and thinks torque is what she and her horrible SJW pals do constantly? Is she the equivalent of the archetype mommy-driver/boy racer but with delusions?

Fucking sad she gets her grubby little hands on some reasonably nice kit. Tho I'm holding out on her crashing into a float full of speds.

 

[Bassomatic]

For the car freaks out there, is she talking the same level of pure 100% bullshit she does about bikes? Those articles @Optimus Prime gave me were just hilarious in their absolute about-face utter wrong. Tho I want to see her on one of these track days she "lives for" - it'd be less 80mph around bends in skintight leathers and no helmet (no, Brian, you're not Rossi) and more oops-went-bog-on-starting-line. Not to mention they'd make her take the only additions she claims off because unneccesary and dangerous. I'm unconvinced she's ever ridden anything bigger than a moped and I'll put money down on her never having done a track day. I doubt she's even watched the roundy-roundy on the telly.

It's just badly-written fantasy in the purplest of prose. But I know shag-all about cars - I'm guessing that all she actually does is tool around in an automatic and has absolutely no knowledge whatsoever of anything under the hood, is actually a pretty lousy driver, and thinks torque is what she and her horrible SJW pals do constantly? Is she the equivalent of the archetype mommy-driver/boy racer but with delusions?

Fucking sad she gets her grubby little hands on some reasonably nice kit. Tho I'm holding out on her crashing into a float full of speds.

Pretty much, I mean in theory it's doable.

As stated before, the new penis ride she got, is an awful choice for image and more so due to it's lay out. Franks junker would work so much better and safer.

Bri Bri has some pricy toys but we know they can't afford and don't choose to do upkeep. Track days RAPE your car. * If you do not do upkeep they will not let you on the track and shit you need to drive day to day will break, promptly.

The best thing for all would the parade people tell him no to bringing it and then the parade will be safer and he can reeee. Plus that poor car won't have a clutch eaten, you could in theory blip non stop but then you are jerking the car when parades are meant to be chill and relax. Plus jerking with a tow is awful for the entire setup, the trailer, the towing hook/set and the car. While I don't think it'll be enough for some quality frame damage it won't be good and unless a pro does it the hitch and all will not be installed correctly.

As mentioned before John's smartest move would be to talk a local dealer in his area to lend him a truck. But he can't show his toy off so he won't do it.

Honestly this has bad idea written all over it, I just hope no one gets hurt. But I will laugh when the new car stalls out a few times or eats a bumper.

I really hope someone goes to see this in person, but if something does go bad wrong not even John can memory hole it.

*

Spoiler: track day costs on avg for bassomatic's entry level race car

Mind you this is one of the cheapest cars you can race in not covering cost of upgrades, and for cars the prices shoot up in exponents. For a car like John's new one it's easy to factor at least 1k in wear and tear things you don't see or notice before you factor your "damaged" parts that still work, like say a clutch.
So fees for a track day for my local track (PIR) 100+
Gas 30-50
brake pads 80 bucks
axles (at least one) free for me but 40-60 on avg
alignment 80-200 (x2) (lifetime lulz suck it firestone)
fluids 50ish

Then the wear and tear, I know I tear my clutch up, my tires get ripped up (and I own a set for just track days) I can get a good few long days out of my shaved tires (400 set +20 per tire for shaving) Assume 5 days, that's about a 100 bucks per time. Rest of the wear and tear budget another c note just incase.

So, for a little old honda with some work (happens to be one hell of a hoot and quick mind you) you are looking at 400+ bucks a day at least. This also isn't factoring my SCCA membership or time I've spent and paid for under training to be allowed open alone on a track. Racing isn't cheap, at all. For a car like johns' easy look at 1500+ a day to race it and factor more as John can't do his own work

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Yeah, track days are brutal on bikes. But the way she talks about it convinces me that bike has never seen even the car-park of a track. She seems to think you turn up and just pootle round and it doesn't work like that at all.

Be funny as fuck watching her try tho. They make riders remove as much as possible so, in the inevitable smackdown, there's not unnecessary plastic shit flying everywhere. So the first tantrum would be the oppression of minorities with fucking eyelashes on their bike (that poor, poor bike. I want to free it.) Then, once they made her dress properly and not like some tranny porn biker-chick, she'd instantly bog on the starting line, then either over-compensate and highside on the first corner, or do ten mph in sheer terror and wash out.

But we all know she's not going anywhere near a track in any vehicle. A Clanger can dream....

@Bassomatic I'm not surprised the costs for car racing in any form are brutal. It's expensive for bikes, and regular users have to eventually decide whether they want to keep trashing their road bike or get a second one just for tracks. But car-racing is a different bunny and a whole other level of commitment, although I'm pretty sure she'd follow the same reeeee/bog/smash pattern. And it would all be the fault of the bastard patriarchy. Somehow.

Tbh, we should encourage her if only because putting a crash-helmet on that face would improve it enormously. In fact, she should just wear one all the time.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

The put up tomorrow's parade running order.

Wu's clown car is almost at the very back of the parade. She's not towing anything, she's an item of her own. I wonder if this is the only reason they bought the convertible, so Wu can sit in it and do a royal wave to crowd who have no fucking idea who she is.

I hope someone posts photos or videos of the event so we can see how little effort Wu puts in.

Seven spots behind "Vacant spot for late entry." Don't those people know who John is?

87
Vacant spot for last minute entry

88
Sunset Towing

89
The Braintree Academy of Dance

90
Quirk Cars #2

91
John Kingston for US Senate

92
Night Life Marching Band

93
Commonwealth FC Soccer Club

94
Tufankjian Toyota of Braintree

95
Brianna Wu for Congress

96
Roma Band Musicians

97
Delta Lodge AF&AM

99
Shriners Tour of Duty Aleppo Temple

100
Saints Brigade Drum and Bugle Corps.

101
Vacant, for last minute entry

102
Bilboard Truck

103
Local 25 Big Rig

The End