- Dołączono
- 29 Paź 2014
Inb4 Phil accuses us of training squirrels and pigeons to harass him whilst he sleeps.
[12/30/2016] Phil plans to sleep in the woods near Oakland, needs winter clothes for him and Toren
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Inb4 Phil accuses us of training squirrels and pigeons to harass him whilst he sleeps.
- Dołączono
- 27 Sty 2014
Am I right in assuming that "rescue out" means "steal"? This thread already has Phil
- Dołączono
- 14 Lip 2016
@Dynastia would make a great grizzly bear.
"I was sleeping when da kiwi gamergaydurrs started ripping ma bag open, donate to ma velveeta fund please"
- Dołączono
- 10 Kwi 2013
We haven't?
- Dołączono
- 17 Sty 2016
Basically this. I've been camping out in the wilderness for years in parts where it's legal (deep into the Jefferson national forest area) and the like, and I've been through some pretty bad storms out there. Freezing rain is a lot to deal with, though, and the amount of time you'll spend under shelter just passing it by almost defeats the point of being out in the forest. And that's just in Virginia.
Phil would probably deal poorly with temperature and weather, but honestly shit like ticks is what I think would get him. I'm not sure how it is on the west coast, but raccoons, ticks, and "minor" hazards tend to be the biggest problems in my experience. The odds you'll even see a bear are pretty low, is especially if you do what you're supposed to and make a lot of noise (I think Phil's massive girth and stumbling could do this accidentally, really.) That said, you're probably right. He'd get spooked the second he realized he couldn't see the way back out of the woods, and either just sloth it there in misery until he figured it out and bullshit some story about how he traveled too deep into the terrifying Black Forest of Brothers Grim fair, or with any luck run off in a random direction, get more lost, and die tripping over a rock and breaking his legs falling into a ravine or something.
Of course, he's breaking the first safety rule anyway and going out alone with no reliable means of sending for help. He really may as well be a potato at that point.
- Dołączono
- 28 Lis 2014
If anyone actually donates to Phil (there's a 99% chance that nobody will, but still) they absolutely deserve to be ripped off. He states in the actual ebegging note that he did have enough money to take care of things last month, but decided to splurge on a bike instead. And now it's apparently everyone but Phil's responsibility to make sure that he doesn't freeze to death. Because he bought a bike instead of a coat.
- Dołączono
- 10 Kwi 2013
Not that Phil will actually be spending any time outside, but if he intends to "play it safe" and camp in more populated areas the biggest problem won't be the wildlife but other people. As for ticks, he'd probably either not notice or just try and brush it off himself, not realizing the potential dangers those parasites possess. As for raccoons or opossums, most small wildlife will avoid him unless he leaves his stuff unguarded for extended periods of time. Unless a murder of crows thinks he has food, then they might harass him a bit (basically just sit overhead and caw noisily at him) and try to find where he's been keeping his food.
- Dołączono
- 9 Cze 2016
"It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue."
real talk though, if Phil lacks any sort of camping experience, the area around the Oakland Hills (and the Berkeley Foothills) is largely mud, undergrowth that's never been culled other than wildfires randomly, and broken terrain where it'll fall away into clay and dead drops. snakes and ticks are the most common things you encounter hiking or camping, and while there are bears, mountain lions, cougars, deer, coyotes, and other fauna, they are somewhat rare unless he's venturing deep enough in the hills to be on flat land (there's a valley between the hills on either side and houses dot the landscape with little ribbons of road and forest).
bushmasters are known to be around, as well as various raccoons, badgers, armadillos (leprosy ahoy), and all kinds of parasites.
great if you know what you're doing and dress appropriately and avoid game trails and possible dens, but knowing Phil he'll be blind to all that and camp where convenient and either get a ton of freezing rain and a lesson in CA mud, or will have an encounter with a hungry predator or a territorial animal looking to fend for itself.
Phil is that spot where he's too incompetent to realize his incompetence - this is assuming, like i noted - that he has little experience genuinely camping and his homeless experiences in an urban environment are a world different from a wild forest. does he even have a suitable knife and tarp and the knowledge to build a lean-to? how about keeping a lid on his food and drinks, and able to avoid dangerous ground? does he know what to do about snake bite or encounters with a predator?
in all likelihood in winter, the cold and parasites will likely be the main issue he'll face more so than anything.
real talk though, if Phil lacks any sort of camping experience, the area around the Oakland Hills (and the Berkeley Foothills) is largely mud, undergrowth that's never been culled other than wildfires randomly, and broken terrain where it'll fall away into clay and dead drops. snakes and ticks are the most common things you encounter hiking or camping, and while there are bears, mountain lions, cougars, deer, coyotes, and other fauna, they are somewhat rare unless he's venturing deep enough in the hills to be on flat land (there's a valley between the hills on either side and houses dot the landscape with little ribbons of road and forest).
bushmasters are known to be around, as well as various raccoons, badgers, armadillos (leprosy ahoy), and all kinds of parasites.
great if you know what you're doing and dress appropriately and avoid game trails and possible dens, but knowing Phil he'll be blind to all that and camp where convenient and either get a ton of freezing rain and a lesson in CA mud, or will have an encounter with a hungry predator or a territorial animal looking to fend for itself.
Phil is that spot where he's too incompetent to realize his incompetence - this is assuming, like i noted - that he has little experience genuinely camping and his homeless experiences in an urban environment are a world different from a wild forest. does he even have a suitable knife and tarp and the knowledge to build a lean-to? how about keeping a lid on his food and drinks, and able to avoid dangerous ground? does he know what to do about snake bite or encounters with a predator?
in all likelihood in winter, the cold and parasites will likely be the main issue he'll face more so than anything.
Ostatnio edytowane:
- Dołączono
- 21 Lut 2016
The largest contributor is the closing of all state mental hospitals during the Regan era; that's why there's such a multitude of severely mentally ill homeless in the area, coupled with the myth that the summer of love never died and you should TOTALLY hitchhike to San Francisco to live on Haight Street, random neglected teen from Alaska.
- Dołączono
- 14 Lip 2016
If I had to, without Toren being there with a car to help, I would put Phil's level of survival at 5-10%.
- he doesn't know how to ration
- he doesn't know how to lash bindings
- he doesn't know how to identify or test edibility of foraged foods
- he doesn't know how to braid rope
- he certainly can't kill an animal to feed himself
- he doesn't know how to administer first aid
There are very few things to his benefit.
- his fat keeps him warm, but not enough
- he's so paranoid, he will always be watching for danger
.....That's literally it. Phil the survivalist would be dead in a heartbeat, because he can't steal from a gas station or goodwill. And you can almost bet he never would use those knives or bats beyond a picture on facebook.
My money is that he will be sleeping in homeless shelters talking about how glorious Babushka Greta is while spitting and seeing on those cis men in alleys like a good communist.
- he doesn't know how to ration
- he doesn't know how to lash bindings
- he doesn't know how to identify or test edibility of foraged foods
- he doesn't know how to braid rope
- he certainly can't kill an animal to feed himself
- he doesn't know how to administer first aid
There are very few things to his benefit.
- his fat keeps him warm, but not enough
- he's so paranoid, he will always be watching for danger
.....That's literally it. Phil the survivalist would be dead in a heartbeat, because he can't steal from a gas station or goodwill. And you can almost bet he never would use those knives or bats beyond a picture on facebook.
My money is that he will be sleeping in homeless shelters talking about how glorious Babushka Greta is while spitting and seeing on those cis men in alleys like a good communist.
- Dołączono
- 9 Cze 2016
i don't know if i'd put it that low on raw survival. the human body can go through a lot of stuff. my time in the military had me do an awful lot i didn't think i could, on top of watching people scratch out a living in some real hostile grounds overseas. i think a safer bet would be to see if he catches some parasite or crypto or norovirus or something - the odds of him getting through roughing it in the forest (albeit only a couple miles from civilization) completely unscathed are what i would think are pretty low.
Ostatnio edytowane:
- Dołączono
- 15 Sty 2014
Given that there's no evidence of him even being able to ride the damn thing, and given that he has nothing that he needs it for, a sensible person would be wondering why the hell he prioritised that over winter clothing, which he was bitching about even then. The simple reality is that he wants to crowdfund his weekend break.
In fairness, a lot of that stuff wouldn't apply. He's staying in the woods for one night, and I very much doubt he'll get more than fifty yards in.
I mean, the reality is that he'll probably just sleep in a motel and post lurid fantasies about Kiwis threatening to rapemurder him in the woods.
EDIT: Damn, ninja'd.
- Dołączono
- 6 Lut 2016
Do you think if someone sent him MAGA-imprinted jackets and winter clothes, he'd wear them? Or would he rather take people's money so he can spend it on cheese and bikes?
Deinstitutionalization was already in full swing when Reagan assumed office as governor. San Francisco is a bum magnet because people think it's a lovey-dovy liberal paradise, until they find out it's full of uncharitable hippocrates. Portland is the same, and Phill fell for it hard.
- Dołączono
- 25 Paź 2014
Unbelievable that these creatures think they can survive on online donations and just camp out in the woods and go places. This isn't even a nomadic lifestyle; this is parasitic at its best.
- Dołączono
- 20 Kwi 2013
- Dołączono
- 28 Kwi 2015
Why not both?
- Dołączono
- 18 Wrz 2016
Can't wait to see him get lost and blame the Kiwis for planting him with a fake map.
Hell, if a coyote ate all his (Unsealed) food, he'd still find a way to blame the Farms.
Hell, if a coyote ate all his (Unsealed) food, he'd still find a way to blame the Farms.