random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Wiggerlicious]

Quoting my own post because I'm a narcissist

The core activity of Kiwifarms is the systematic tracking, archiving, and discussing of individuals' personal lives, mistakes, and private details. The Holy Quran and the Sunnah explicitly forbid these actions.

The Prophet ﷺ also warned:
"...and do not look for the others' faults, and do not do spying on one another..." (Sahih Bukhari)
Because Kiwifarms thrives on investigating, doxxing, and uncovering the private lives of individuals, reading this content involves consuming the fruits of prohibited spying.

Reading or participating in threads about people's personal lives and flaws constitutes consuming backbiting. Even if the information is true, discussing a person behind their back in a manner they dislike is the definition of Ghibah, which the Quran equates to "eating the flesh of one's dead brother".

If the purpose is amusement or curiosity: Browsing Kiwifarms for entertainment, drama, or out of curiosity is strongly disliked (Makruh Tahrimi) or Haram, as it involves wasting time on laghw (vain/useless talk) and exposing oneself to sinful speech, mockery, and backbiting.

While consuming pork or alcohol are severe and clear major sins (Kaba'ir) in Islam, actively participating in, supporting, or facilitating the online humiliation, doxxing, and mocking of individuals is spiritually far more dangerous.

Consuming pork harms your own physical and spiritual state, but slandering and harassing others actively destroys the lives of other human beings—leaving you with a spiritual debt that Allah will not waive unless those victims personally forgive you on the Day of Resurrection.

 

[Jango Fett]

We grew up being told everything on the Internet is forever. Now, we've lived long enough to know not everything lives forever, not even the Internet.

 

[Mk1 Fire Control Computer]

THE COURT: I'm sorry, but would you like to cite some law or a case?

 

[SpellforceFan]

edit: We got cucked.

 

[Cnidarian]

I didn't really enjoy his other books, but you can at least get something out of them. You know what makes Gate Crashers so fucking insufferable? It's comedy. Fucking comedy. Comedy of a particularly shitty type at that.

You can laugh at shitty drama, shitty action, shitty romance, shitty horror...you can't laugh at shitty comedy. No wonder Rick hasn't published anything since. That trilogy may have fucking killed his sad attempt at a writing career.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

You have two posts in this thread and they're both about his south park masturbation.

 

[pro drivor]

Cope and seethe harder, motherfucker.
Nobody gives a shit what you or your drunkard asshole uncle believes after a few pints of acid.
If you believe in virtues, then fucking live by them instead of adapting some Marvel hero bullshit and ritual forest orgy tripping balls nonsense like some fucking retard. And if you want to take drugs, just take drugs and shut the fuck up about your acid trips. Nobody gives a fuck.

Keeping this in the private section so that non-account viewers don't see this.
I feel incredibly guilty. While looking at these images on gelbooru and censoring them, I became very aroused. I've revealed in a prior message that I was first exposed to lolicon when I was 11, and this induced pedophilic desires in me. I feel guilty because I criticize and ridicule these people while consuming the same things they do. (Though, at least I acknowledge that the content is immoral and am trying to stop, unlike them. This doesn't make me much better, however.) The farther away that I try to get from lust the harder it becomes. I am engaged in spiritual warfare against demonic forces that try to influence me. However, I'd like to clarify and say that I'm not putting the blame solely on outside forces, as my evil doing is governed by my will. I'm going to take drastic measures and stop using the Internet completely.

The time cube.


After the 1947 Roswell UFO incident, US president Harry S. Truman authorized the creation of a top-secret committee called Majestic-12 or MJ-12. This group was composed of top scientists, military specialists and political officers. Its goal was to reverse-engineer their advanced technology, find potential applications for it in the context of the Cold War, and establish contact with extraterrestrial civilizations. The crashed starship and the biological remains were sent to Groom Lake, Area-51, and stored in Hangar 18. Thanks to the secret technological developments, enormous advances in computing, telecommunications and defense were made, culminating in the creation of advanced consumer micro-electronics.

Starting with the 1969 Moon Landing and throughout the 1970s, contact was established with an extraterrestrial civilization the committee labelled as the "Pleiadians." These beings informed them of the following facts: They represent a political power spanning the entire Milky Way, known as the "Galactic Confederation of Light." They already established contact with humanity over five thousand years ago, and they are currently at war with a sinister, shape-shifting alien race known as the "Reptillians." Because of the conflict, contact was limited and cryptic, but a fact was made clear: The Reptillians had already invaded Earth.

In fact, Reptillians arrived much later than Pleiadians and established a secret underground settlement. Eventually, they subjugated local human societies and enslaved them, forcing them to extract minerals and worship them as gods, creating abhorrent sacrificial and cannibal cults, and even creating monstrous half-human, half-reptillian hybrids. But despite their technological power, they were physically weak and a rebellion eventually broke out, overpowering them and driving them underground. From their underground dwellings, they keep waging psychic warfare on humanity, and keep sending their undercover agents with the goal of converting humanity to their cause and eventually enslave them again.

It was also discovered that the crashed Roswell starship belonged to another species part of the Condeferation: They were labelled as the "Greys" and not only they contacted top scientists and political leaders, they directly assisted in the creation of advanced aircraft using exotic propulsion technology like the TR-3B ASTRA, known as the "Dark Star." Bob Lazar could only give hints of the extent of the operation that he witnessed.

In the decade of the 1980s, the Pleiadians revealed their plan: They will return to Earth exactly 5,126 years since their last visit, assist humanity in the fight against the Reptillians, check if humanity was "worthy" of joining the Confederation, or simply quarantine the planet.

By the 1980s and 1990s, Reptillian power and influence over humanity was growing, and they managed to infiltrate the highest echelons of the US government. With the top levels compromised, they began to discredit, persecute, and eventually execute those directly opposing them. The Dark Stars and special operations groups like Delta Force were now used to conduct stealth operations with surgical precision, aimed at destroying those in their way. Top scientists and brilliant minds were abducted, either to be executed by the Reptillians, or to be recruited by a dwindling contingent of humans and greys determined to continue the fight.

By the 2000s, the contingent of humans and greys keeps fighting a losing battle against the reptilian menace. Their goal is threatened by the emergence of mass media: It drowns their message in a sea of disinformation and falsehood, and prepares humans to welcome a New World Order in which they give away their fundamental freedoms and rights in order to be enslaved and start worshipping the reptilians once more. Time is running out. The Pleiadians will arrive and determine the fate of humanity on a specific date: December 21, 2012.


Pleiadian or "Nordic" aliens. MJ-12 determined that they come from a star stystem in the direction of the Pleiades. Their striking resemblance to humans suggest a common origin.


Grey aliens. Once mere observers, they were forced into contact after the 1947 Roswell incident, assisting and guiding humanity in the conflict against the Reptilians.


Reptilian aliens. Colonizers and enslavers. Despite being physically weak, they thrive by stealing technology from other species and subjugating them with their cunning and psychic powers. Oy vey! You wouldn't believe all this drivel, right?


TR-3B ASTRA: Advanced Stealth Tactical Reconnaissance Aircraft. Known as "Dark Star" or "Black Manta." Created in the 1980s with extraterrestrial assistance and technology as a reconaissance platform, now used by the reptilian-controlled US government alongside the infamous "black helicopters" to persecute and silence anyone opposing them.

Britney Spears died in a car accident along with Justin Timberlake years ago and they were replaced with clones/lookalikes. Justin Timberlake was replaced by some ordinary Joe who happened to look just like him and Britney was replaced by some girl from Germany named Giselle who had spent years training her voice to sound like an All American girl. All of this was pre-arranged going back years just in case they died.

this is a really fucking cool and powerful occult framework that you've got there and it would be a real shame if you decided to use it for some gay UFO larp instead of a semiotic petard

ok, so i had some more revelations in my dreams, which is how im relaying all of this to you


the voynich manuscript describes how to become immortal, the guy who wrote it was a rogue one, he left it as a riddle for the future people to solve, made his own fake language which only he understood, planning that eventually people will try to translate the manuscript

it hasnt been destroyed cuz the immortals are too petty to do it, and besides, as long as americans keep chopping foreskins, the ritual won't work

he probably got caught, and is rn dumped in the mariana trench (he used to be in some other dumping ground, but they moved a large portion of their prisoners to the mariana trench facility) (well, to be precise its only used by the masada group, other cliques have their own facilities, the ones in america use a facility under the reflecting pool, for example), which is a giant immortal prison, theyre buried alive under the sand at the bottom of the mariana trench, the water pressure prevents em from getting out, theyre nowhere near steong enough to even stand on their feet in there, the drowning doesnt kill them, nor do they sustain any major injuries, but the sheer weight of all the water above keeps em from escaping


why not use a regular prison

well, they can just wait until the prison falls apart, julius ceasar escaped his underground prison sometime in the 1840s, ended up in russia in the 1970s, renamed himself vladimir putin, joined the KGB, and later took over once communism fell

 

[Drip Torch]

ok i can't be on the same team with such a fag

 

[Aunt Carol]

Shut the fuck up about dogs in the RIP thread, you fucking autists.

This one features a warlock getting misgendered and how terrible that is.

Firstly imagine a scary, subterranean troll that growls every syllable and only comes above ground to steal and eat children. Next, imagine how difficult it would be to take that troll seriously if it was confined to a wheelchair and tried to be a YouTube chef, filming itself preparing human foods it's incapable of appreciating or knowing the first thing about; because it only has an appetite for live, raw children marinated in fear.

Careful. He will rate you dumb if you mention his name.

 

[General Patton]

you're getting angry at shitposts

 

[Mr. Hands]

Now paint it gold, glue fake jewels on, and make it a chain nigga.

I forgot that Chance is far more useless than Golem was.

It's just a totem pole of idiots punching up and down at each other.

Bruh.... you just doxxed your own IG with that share link lol be more careful.

"Two things are infinite: Stupidity and the Universe, and I'm not sure about the Universe."
-Some Science Wizard.

“One should always assume that someone somewhere is keeping the receipts when one engages in spastic fuckery.” —the Book of Proverbs, probably

Never stop raping them.

Black, autistic(?) and British. What kind of fucked up homonculus is this?

No stalker child, it is you who I will rape, and yell at over cosmic brownies.

surprised that fat bitch didnt fall through the roof

Guys, chill. It's not some gay fag war. Don't be stupid faggots.

 

[cancelmysubscription]

May have already been done:

Bro, furries and especially diaperfags are like the Jews of the Internet.
For some reason, despite being an absolute minority, they’re always connected to whatever fuckery is going on.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Those are 5 gallon home depot buckets, a home improvement store for those not US-based. I really hope they all contain cooking oil.

Look at the size of those onion pieces, everything is done half assed as usual. He didn't bother to drain that shrimp first, could have sautéed it to draw out more flavors but he can't spare the 2 minutes apparently

America broke from the British rule for this?

He legit threw a fit and demanded bakey for his dubble beggin borbn borgl in the midst of a potential F1 slamming down and yeeting him to hell.

There's a found footage liveleak of that in another universe.

Little did he know the only reason he is untouchable is because he is fat and ugly

"You see judge, my client is so poor and stupid that he definitely will never own a brothel, so he can't possibly have been trying to recruit anybody to work in one!"

This was a pretty retarded post and managed to get everything wrong. Nice work.

alas, instead she's concerned that her only chance at true love "will come from someone who doesn't exist," sentencing her to a fate worse than death: a carpet unmunched

Being retarded su... actually, wait, this is sounding kinda nice these days. BRB; hitting self in head with hammer.