@Mound Dweller cooking thread - Welcome to 5 star br*t*sh cuisine n’wah

[Haunted Dishwasher]

To celebrate the US SCOTUS declaring that there is no such thing as an am*rican I made some ribeye.
Wyświetl załącznik 9212944

Common retard mistake - because your stove top can blast full heat does not mean you always should use it. I get your autistic fear of burning food (even if you still burn it) and impatience but for god's sake just do it on medium heat and prod the meat with an utensil to check how firm it is, if you are too stupid unsure about the texture, just cut a small piece off and inspect how well it is cooked through, you will eventually narrow it down and get the feel how firm each stage is.

Also I seen that you use a shit ton of oil/grease for meat, unless you are trying to pull Jack Scalfani and get any% on heart attack you should use few drops of oil and spread it on the pad (or better, use grease/butter) instead of making everything fried float in oil.

 

[The Lurky 1]

Common retard mistake - because your stove top can blast full heat does not mean you always should use it. I get your autistic fear of burning food (even if you still burn it) and impatience but for god's sake just do it on medium heat and prod the meat with an utensil to check how firm it is, if you are too stupid unsure about the texture, just cut a small piece off and inspect how well it is cooked through, you will eventually narrow it down and get the feel how firm each stage is.

Also I seen that you use a shit ton of oil/grease for meat, unless you are trying to pull Jack Scalfani and get any% on heart attack you should use few drops of oil and spread it on the pad (or better, use grease/butter) instead of making everything fried float in oil.

G*d bless your heart on trying to teach the caveman on how to cook a steak

 

[Mound Dweller]

Common retard mistake - because your stove top can blast full heat does not mean you always should use it. I get your autistic fear of burning food (even if you still burn it) and impatience but for god's sake just do it on medium heat and prod the meat with an utensil to check how firm it is, if you are too stupid unsure about the texture, just cut a small piece off and inspect how well it is cooked through, you will eventually narrow it down and get the feel how firm each stage is.

It's not complicated, I know, however; not doing it my way wouldn't be the way i actually want it, which kinda defeats the purpose of doing it myself now innit

Also I seen that you use a shit ton of oil/grease for meat

Not eyetalian, thus the only thing I use to lube my meat is West Country Butter

 

[souschef]

Now in vegan form
Wyświetl załącznik 9219308

Credo means "yikes" in portuguese

Precisely my reaction

 

[Ghostface Killah]

I am convinced he would eat a turd.

 

[indomitable snowman]

I am convinced he would eat a turd.

He's br*ish not indian.

 

[Begemot]

Common retard mistake - because your stove top can blast full heat does not mean you always should use it. I get your autistic fear of burning food (even if you still burn it) and impatience but for god's sake just do it on medium heat and prod the meat with an utensil to check how firm it is, if you are too stupid unsure about the texture, just cut a small piece off and inspect how well it is cooked through, you will eventually narrow it down and get the feel how firm each stage is.

Also I seen that you use a shit ton of oil/grease for meat, unless you are trying to pull Jack Scalfani and get any% on heart attack you should use few drops of oil and spread it on the pad (or better, use grease/butter) instead of making everything fried float in oil.

What if old mate here does a crossover with Jack Scalfani?
Then Jack converts him into an evangelical

 

[Rango Dango]

my parents were at the farmers market today so my dad and i for breakfast had fried kaszanka with sauteed fresh onion

 

[Nickel Silver]

It's not complicated, I know, however; not doing it my way wouldn't be the way i actually want it, which kinda defeats the purpose of doing it myself now innit

Well you're doing it the WRONG way, you dumb bloke. Me mum is rubbish at cooking steak and hers is leagues better than your load of tosh.

 

[Haramburger]

Great sponsored image, though I think because of the format width it's far too generous on suggesting a council house being as spacious as it seems with those windows:

 

[TheNecoArccountant]

Spoiler: Sloppa

Submitting my Amerislop for Farmer approval

 

[TheNecoArccountant]

Common retard mistake - because your stove top can blast full heat does not mean you always should use it. I get your autistic fear of burning food (even if you still burn it) and impatience but for god's sake just do it on medium heat and prod the meat with an utensil to check how firm it is, if you are too stupid unsure about the texture, just cut a small piece off and inspect how well it is cooked through, you will eventually narrow it down and get the feel how firm each stage is.

Also I seen that you use a shit ton of oil/grease for meat, unless you are trying to pull Jack Scalfani and get any% on heart attack you should use few drops of oil and spread it on the pad (or better, use grease/butter) instead of making everything fried float in oil.

Tbh you do want it hot as fuck to get a good sear, but you also want to finish it in the oven

EDIT: AND DEAR GOD LET IT REST

 

[souschef]

Great sponsored image, though I think because of the format width it's far too generous on suggesting a council house being as spacious as it seems with those windows:Wyświetl załącznik 9242370

False advertisement

There's peas and potatoes on the guy's plate

Spoiler: Sloppa

Wyświetl załącznik 9242629Wyświetl załącznik 9242631Wyświetl załącznik 9242632Wyświetl załącznik 9242633Wyświetl załącznik 9242634Wyświetl załącznik 9242635Wyświetl załącznik 9242636

Submitting my Amerislop for Farmer approval

Now those look really nice

 

[mofu mofo]

Mayo on chips is extremely German.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Submitting my Amerislop for Farmer approval

Hey, you're not to post anything but brown here!

 

[stares at error messages]

In that moment I looked into his food and I knew he was my n'wah.

This is Morrowind.

 

[long waters]

This is Morrowind.


Wyświetl załącznik 9243303Wyświetl załącznik 9243310

How. Did you just slap a frozen steak on the pan?!

 

[stares at error messages]

How. Did you just slap a frozen steak on the pan?!

No. It was in the fridge marinating before. I did 2 minutes each side. I wish it was bloodier. I let all the juices run out from he bag so they wouldn't burn on the pan.