@Mound Dweller cooking thread - Welcome to 5 star br*t*sh cuisine n’wah

[Haunted Dishwasher]

To celebrate the US SCOTUS declaring that there is no such thing as an am*rican I made some ribeye.
Wyświetl załącznik 9212944

Common retard mistake - because your stove top can blast full heat does not mean you always should use it. I get your autistic fear of burning food (even if you still burn it) and impatience but for god's sake just do it on medium heat and prod the meat with an utensil to check how firm it is, if you are too stupid unsure about the texture, just cut a small piece off and inspect how well it is cooked through, you will eventually narrow it down and get the feel how firm each stage is.

Also I seen that you use a shit ton of oil/grease for meat, unless you are trying to pull Jack Scalfani and get any% on heart attack you should use few drops of oil and spread it on the pad (or better, use grease/butter) instead of making everything fried float in oil.

 

[The Lurky 1]

Common retard mistake - because your stove top can blast full heat does not mean you always should use it. I get your autistic fear of burning food (even if you still burn it) and impatience but for god's sake just do it on medium heat and prod the meat with an utensil to check how firm it is, if you are too stupid unsure about the texture, just cut a small piece off and inspect how well it is cooked through, you will eventually narrow it down and get the feel how firm each stage is.

Also I seen that you use a shit ton of oil/grease for meat, unless you are trying to pull Jack Scalfani and get any% on heart attack you should use few drops of oil and spread it on the pad (or better, use grease/butter) instead of making everything fried float in oil.

G*d bless your heart on trying to teach the caveman on how to cook a steak

 

[Mound Dweller]

Common retard mistake - because your stove top can blast full heat does not mean you always should use it. I get your autistic fear of burning food (even if you still burn it) and impatience but for god's sake just do it on medium heat and prod the meat with an utensil to check how firm it is, if you are too stupid unsure about the texture, just cut a small piece off and inspect how well it is cooked through, you will eventually narrow it down and get the feel how firm each stage is.

It's not complicated, I know, however; not doing it my way wouldn't be the way i actually want it, which kinda defeats the purpose of doing it myself now innit

Also I seen that you use a shit ton of oil/grease for meat

Not eyetalian, thus the only thing I use to lube my meat is West Country Butter

 

[souschef]

Now in vegan form
Wyświetl załącznik 9219308

Credo means "yikes" in portuguese

Precisely my reaction

 

[Ghostface Killah]

I am convinced he would eat a turd.

 

[indomitable snowman]

I am convinced he would eat a turd.

He's br*ish not indian.

 

[Begemot]

Common retard mistake - because your stove top can blast full heat does not mean you always should use it. I get your autistic fear of burning food (even if you still burn it) and impatience but for god's sake just do it on medium heat and prod the meat with an utensil to check how firm it is, if you are too stupid unsure about the texture, just cut a small piece off and inspect how well it is cooked through, you will eventually narrow it down and get the feel how firm each stage is.

Also I seen that you use a shit ton of oil/grease for meat, unless you are trying to pull Jack Scalfani and get any% on heart attack you should use few drops of oil and spread it on the pad (or better, use grease/butter) instead of making everything fried float in oil.

What if old mate here does a crossover with Jack Scalfani?
Then Jack converts him into an evangelical

 

[Rango Dango]

my parents were at the farmers market today so my dad and i for breakfast had fried kaszanka with sauteed fresh onion

 

[Nickel Silver]

It's not complicated, I know, however; not doing it my way wouldn't be the way i actually want it, which kinda defeats the purpose of doing it myself now innit

Well you're doing it the WRONG way, you dumb bloke. Me mum is rubbish at cooking steak and hers is leagues better than your load of tosh.