Używasz przestarzałej przeglądarki. Może ona nieprawidłowo wyświetlać tę lub inne strony. Powinieneś zaktualizować przeglądarkę lub użyć alternatywnej przeglądarki.
I see it in your cards that in the past there was a surprise, something you did not know would happen. You were just minding your own business and suddenly something unaccounted for happened and changed your current expectations maybe for the better or maybe for the worse, the universe is being mega vague right now dude like seriously. I see right now that you are currently facing a problem with printing a large volume of something and the gingko tree tells me that you like need to look around for a print shop, where you will be recommended the John Wayne collection but thanks to the ordering of the cards I can tell that if you accept the offer you will probably get fucked over shortly afterwards. John Wayne may or may not also be a universal metaphor for a rapist so watch out for that too.
Before you meet your partner he has struggled with many things, most notable the downfalls of an acting career caused by rampant cocaine, like, overdose ya dig? He feels really bad about it so thats why you drew the Law & Order card. Law & Order are two of the driving forces of the universe man and he's feeling so week due to lack of em', he needs to reset his karmic kundalini vasachakras by watching as much of the hit NBC show as he can so he can learn from Mulder and Scully's example. The grass represents a powerful overgrow of unwanted things and like, your dude has to cut all that grass he has on the lawn of his heart or else he'll probably never be able to fully love someone again.
Best luck bro and don't trust anything John Wayne related.
The universe is like telling me that your future spouse or whatever is gonna be a girl because that's hotter to write about ya dig?
Lets see here man, I see a really dark past. A lot of barkin' and screaming and biting, it doesn't take an idiot to tell me that this is about a biker gang you used to be a part of. They were the Bad Dogs weren't they? That shit wasn't cool and it got in the way of your life and your family was full of all the negative energy towards you but ya pushed through it. But its the only life you know! As evident by the Sesame Street card, you only know this life so currently you are still struggling on the streets fighting your way through meth heads and shit because you cant break free but now you wanna. If you want to leave this life behind you you always got to remember the letter and number of the day to keep yourself grounded in reality or else you'll fall into the cocaine-fueled delusion of insanity that we in the weed-smoking Shaman business like to call 'Elmo's World'. You drew the Ghosts Arcana. Now that's where it gets tricky, man, ghosts are a universal metaphor for spirits of the dead who still haunt our plane of existence so like you gotta be weary of anyone you killed who may have grudges against you or maybe you should think twice the next time you parkour through a graveyard ya dig? If need be my Exorcism Services are available.
Now for your future lesbian mate's reading. You got some bad luck here and you clearly have a thing with organized gangs, because in the past she used to be a member of the mafia but she probably wasn't a hired gun. I wanna say she was the Don's mistress and she was cast aside and that's like why she's a lesbian because we all know the only reason she'd be one is that she hates men ya dig? Details don't matter though this was all in the past and shit. Currently she lies in the French Polynesian island of Bola Bola where she is probably on the run from some mercenary the head of the Fierreza crime family put on her because she's currently carrying the Don's illegitimate bastard child and he like potentially could return to the scene and claim heir to the Mafia King's throne so they gotta kill her before she can push that little guy outta there see? The universe is telling me that she is definitely lesbian now though, like theres no doubt about it. She likes Women's Soccer. That's like the Women's basketball of Europe, ya know?
Peace be with you sister and remember my wise words because I'm going to forget I ever said them after I sober up.
Its probably the witching hour somewhere so I feel the universe telling me it's a good time to tackle your fortune.
I see it man, every year there was something you'd look forward to in your childhood. It happened the same time every year, an event that celebrated you and it had to have been like a sort of party and it usually left you in a good spirit. I can't really tell what this means but this probably meant your childhood was pretty chill, but currently you're like the great barrier reef. You're an ocean, man, and you used to just wash around with waves and fish and shit like that but then over the course of thousands of years you probably developed a shitload of rocks and planimals clogging up your spiritual heartspace and in order to flush out all this unwanted garbage from your system a vacation is necessary in your future.
Like, your future wife is a different story. She's the daughter of a pair of televangelists who are like con artists and they used her as a sock puppet calling her like the chosen daughter of god ya dig? But they never actually believed so as an adult she cut herself off from them after seeing how they lied and shit. In the current time she spends her time off feeding peanuts to a lone elephant at a zoo she relates to, and in the future the Glazed Donuts arcana refers to how her life used to be dry and empty before she became covered in white cream. Ya got two options here man and it'll depend on what you're into, basically you're gonna want a lot of whipped cream or a lot of male friends for a bukkake party but as a woman she's going to need some freaky shit to counterbalance her upbringing. PM me and I'll give you my phone number so you can call me if you do choose to go the bukkake party route bro.
That's what I get from all this shit anyway and I haven't really been wrong before I guess.
It looks like the astral plane is contacting my ki energy dawg so I think I can like get ya a fortune here.
When you were younger you were a little too into the idea of being a marine, as crazy as that seems. You had some weird thoughts and they all kinda focused on the word Deagle for some reason but like any sane person you like grew out of that little phase before it started to interfere with your life in a negative way and sending your idiot friends on international missions at horribly dangerous times. Currently in the present like you're pondering the black and white comics of another region, possibly indicating your curiousness of another culture's art or recent conversations with a weeaboo friend. I see a lot of grabbing in the future which kinda means like you are grasping at things you don't really understand or trying to get something thats just outta reach ya dig?
As for your future partner she was surrounded by hundreds of instruments as a child and now has a phobia of music so you're gonna wanna watch out for that, the Symphony arcana has some bad vibes on it when it's drawn in that position man. Its got like cosmic connotations. She's currently not feeling that bright and well she's probably justified cause the bitch is a little out there man. Bit dumb but that's ok cause she's got Woody to guide her, which the universe is telling me is the name for her vibrator. Told you she wasn't that smart man.
Man I'm feeling really off. Think I may need to astral project or something to realign my astaroths.
Numerology told me that it's like your number or something so let's go.
I see it very clearly that in the past there was a very traumatic experience involving your hair and scissors and it probably did not like, go the way you wanted it to. You could try and look through your memories but the cards tell me it happened at -least- once ya dig? And like currently you are at a crossroads in life where you must do as a Bakery does if you want to move forward. They like every day take a look at what they all got for ingredients and make shit accordingly so you gotta go and take a look at what you have in life and use it to make bread to improve your situation. In the future I see that there may be an unpleasant situation involving your leg so you would be wise to like go and 'accidentally' break someone else's leg real quick before it can happen to you. That's how tarot works I say.
Now your future wife's reading is a bit more introspective it seems like. In the past she had long bouts with the color red, symbolizing her anger if I had to like, presume. This is represented by the Bull Fight arcana, and she was likely able to move from these bad experiences as a kid. Cabin in the Woods was a pretty awesome movie man, if you haven't I'd go and watch it but like that's probably besides the point. The universe is saying the card has more to do with like a metaphorical destination in her heart that she's searching for rather than a criminally underrated introspective deconstruction of horror movies and horror fans. If she wants to find this place in her heart in the future she has to like open a can of worms and summon a giant bird to take her there I assume.
I'm gonna go cry cause I just realized I'll never see that Merman...
Magic man is here to please, whether it be fortunes or whether it be weed.
I see a bunch of them man and they scare me, little boys running around in white cloaks singing and chanting some kinda spell in your past and I'm afraid its gotten to you. There's no other way to interpret this man, that's also on top of the Hairball arcana which means you're full of a deep and uncomfortable prickly sensation, literal hair or otherwise negative vibes bro. I see a darkness in your future brought on by this that can only be solved by church somehow, but it can either get worse or better when you enter those doors so be warned ya dig?
As for your future wife she used to be around a lot of penguins as a child , I would assume the universe is telling me she lived in Antarctica of something ya dig? It was cold and it rubbed off on her spirit so you may wanna double up on condoms for more reasons than just preventing kids ya dig? In her current lot in life she spends a lot of time at gas stations when she has to refill her car cause like when she drives it she runs out of gas every now and then. In the future she is probably going to take up baking and learn how to bake pretzels, or she may buy one at a gas station.
I will probably not do a fortune today. I had a really bad time sleeping and my head hurts too much to come up with anything. The universe says tomorrow for sure.
Ok man my chakras have reset themselves and I am now a spiritual Asura, so I can give this reading with the utmost accuracy.
I see it in the cards, like, in the past I see a city from Tennessee being important to you dog. Probably a childhood brought up there or maybe you left behind a lover there. I think it's that one cause currently you think about candles a lot and it makes you think back to the bizarre S&M shit you used to do with her cause the thought of melting candle wax burning her ass red make you harder than steel. Personally I just dig rough play and light bondage but I don't judge the freakier shit you did? I've had a few lonely nights where I jacked off to weird porn as well. In your near future I see either a run in with a horrible disease or an aged Metal band, be careful not to sleep with any of them less you catch a different disease.
As for your future lover I see in her past she used to be called cheesecake a lot probably due to being a fat piece of shit and lazy but like that's only cause she had a hard childhood. Thankfully though she lost a lot of weight and now she's like an 8/10 (on your scale not mine) because of her career as a Gymnastics Person. It don't take a powerful Weed Shaman like me to tell you the the Screaming Arcanum in the future position reveals what happens when she finds out about your candle thing ya dig?
I the great and powerful have spoken and pay no attention to the man getting blazed behind the curtain.
Man I was waiting to get to this one for a while your Satanship, big fan of all that fire and brimstone kinda deal.
In the past I see that there was a thing in your life of love, a relationship of some kind that may or may not have turned out in your favor. The only one who knows how it went is you because relationships are all subjective ya dig? In the current your research into communication with members of the autistic spectrum will likely break new ground and present you with a Nobel Peace Prize. You treat them like people and not like tards and for that the world will salute you ya dig? Hawks and doves will be sent out in drones to celebrate you and the hawks will like instantly eat the doves because seriously that's a stupid fucking idea why would you do that.
Your future wife will have had a death in her past and likely experienced taxes but the universe may be fucking with me, it may not be certain. The rain is a metaphor for the storm in her heart brought on by a loss of faith and you will help her through this by introducing Allah into her heart. As the storm clears in the future she will, like the ladybug, become a gigantic threat to large yields of crops and farmland. That's a keeper if I've ever heard one.
