Operation Tupacalypse Days 93-94: Eli wanders the desert while stoned, searching for "Da Jew Peeramidz"

[ChuckSlaughter]

Are you saying that Jace, Tyce and Colby as a team are incapable of buying or rigging lights?

I mean, I don't really know what to say to that. They do dress themselves in the morning, you know. Lolcows do not automatically and catastrophically fail at every single thing they ever attempt.

• Have you been following the saga in the last month? Jace has repeatedly talked about his problems of how no landlords will rent to him ever because he's a schizo manchild. He's offered to pay drug money before and it hasn't helped.
  
• I take it you haven't rented before. Landlords literally do not function like that. They scrutinize the tenant, they don't just look at the money; you have to understand that tenants are a liability. The hypothetical landlord you are describing literally doesn't care about what damage is done to his building, whether or not the cops are called, whether or not he has to replace a door when a DEA team busts it in, whether or not these fuckers make enough noise to keep up all the other tenants, whether or not... well, the list goes on. Basically, that landlord does not exist and will never exist.

Because the entire thing (it's a small cabin, btw) is filled every single sq ft with grow lights and weed and infested with mice which they believe are carrying Ebola. Would you want to live in a place like that? Could you, even?


Like I said, I don't really know what you want me or anyone else to say, or why you would post that in the first place. "I don't believe" is not something that any of us can really help with or comment on in any meaningful way past the point of people trying to help explain the saga to you. Continuing to post doesn't really advance the discussion. I don't mean to sound mean or condescending or whatever, but please put some more thought into it before you post in a thread.

Ive actually had a landlord waive income requirements when i was young just because I showed her how much money I had, i could have even blown it all the next day. She was not a slumlord, she had an office and a secretary and rented as her primary business. I had another tell me that she would consider allowing me to pay ahead much of my rent if the strange nature of my college student allowances complicated rental as it was all not considered income for tax purposes (something like that) but it ended up not coming to that. I am baffled why you think every landlord will be so inflexible I've heard even stranger shit. Faking a pay stub from your uncles lawn care isn't hard either. My current building gave me the results of my background check its not amazing jaces felony is really his biggest hurdle. I have a drug dealer up the hall from me and obviously he doesnt have a job.
Also i was suggesting that jace live in the cabin instead of what he has done to it or at least grow partially. Jace shits in buckets in his room so any assumptions about acceptable living conditions are pretty useless especially since his mental state could get better or worse at any time.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Here's the deal:

The biggest cost to growing weed is energy bills. My friend who (legally) grows six plants for medicinal use has a monthly bill of $500. Assuming Eli's parents are footing the expensesfor the rent and utilities, Jace and co. only have to pay the setup costs of the grow operation for lights/gear/etc. which could range from anywhere from $500-$1,000 based on the quality of equipment and the rest is pure profit. Depending on the strength of the lights and what type of strains they are growing, they could be getting 2-5 ounces per plant. If they're growing high quality weed, that's $400-$1,000 per plant at the lowest possible bulk price (if they're selling it by the pound to distributers). If the cabin was stocked with, let's say, a dozen plants, that's $6,000-$12,000 per harvest at the LOW end of what they're selling, in fact, they're probably able to charge more because Massachusetts doesn't have a dispensary on every corner like it does in other states and they can jack up the prices because of the risk. It's not out of the question to assume they could be making $15,000 per harvest split among them since they don't have to pay rent/utilities.

That's from Eli's house alone, they could have other grow ops going on elsewhere.

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

I just showed Eli's shots to my photography professor. He told me two things:

1. Not bad for a stoned guy
2. He told me not to try this myself

 

[Skeletor]

If Tupac is in fact a rap mummy now, he might not be in shape to make another album even if Eli rescues him.

Wyświetl załącznik 7898

Excellent, but needs a big gold Star of David chain for the full Jew rap mummy effect.

 

[BillRiley]

I don't think jace lives anywhere where you can get away with blatantly sitting on a corner selling dimes to people every few minutes. I know a man who does just this and he's not rich. I read somewhere that most weed dealers barely make minimum wage.

Jace and his buddies are white upper class twits. They don't need the money and rules don't apply to them. If they were black and poor, they'd all be in jail right now.

Also unless they rig up expensive lights and stuff they're not going to grow a ton of weed in the cabin and I just can't imagine these guys actually managing to grow weed, even with really hearty mexican ditchweed that grows anywhere you drop it, indoors the sprouts will grow to the light source and topple over and die.

One thing I've noticed with this crew of 'tards is they often get other people to do things for them. Hell, I think it was intimated somewhere that at some point Tyce actually had someone tweeting for him.

Kyle might be helping them but why does jace act like getting a place of his own is so hard? All he has to do is offer to pay a ton in advance and it's common for landlords to call it good even if you're an idiot with no income. Why doesn't jace just live in the cabin?

Well, we don't know the whole story, nor all the specifics, but I can certainly empathize with your incredulity. I've tried explaining the Tupacalypse situation to several friends now and, across-the-board, their reaction was - 'I don't believe there's anyone that stupid.' Hell, my own initial reaction to the Ebola Mice thing was - "Someone is just making this up!"

So, yeah, it's hard to believe. Running across someone like Chris-Tran or Commander Lazy Eye or The Golden Pedo is like walking down the street one fine sunny day and suddenly finding a dog playing a banjo. It's weird and startling at first, because one would never conceive of such a thing actually existing. But there we have it.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

I don't think jace lives anywhere where you can get away with blatantly sitting on a corner selling dimes to people every few minutes.

I grew up two towns over from Jace, and I can assure you there are definitely people sitting in their cars (not on the corner, but on the town common or in the supermarket parking lot or on a fire road out in the woods somewhere) selling dime bags every few minutes. People in Central Mass smoke weed constantly, because there is nothing else to do but drink.

I think Jace doesn't move out because he doesn't know how to cook or clean or do laundry or shop for groceries, and despite her young-manning him, Gail does that stuff.

 

[dalegribbler]

This might do as a soundtrack http://www.youtubemultiplier.com/54483db1b9666-eli-commandomashupamerica.php

 

[JON CENA]

I can sense Tupac's newest rap album once Eli frees him from the Jew peeramids.

BREAKING NEWS: Tupac Shakur has returned from an 18 year-long Stockholm Syndrome induced hiatus to release his first Islamic nasheed, entitled "Allah, if you hear me."

 

[Germanicus]

So he now knows that Israel is a Jewish country? Then he has accumulated more knowledge on this trip than in all his previous life.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

Holy fuck, he's actually alive and not in Torah Camp like I predicted.

 

[The Dude]

Holy fuck, he's actually alive and not in Torah Camp like I predicted.

Maybe it's Extreme Torah Camp, like those wilderness survival camps lazy parents send their borderline criminal kids to when parenting cuts into their careers and golfing and social lives.

 

[Cheeseburger Picnic]

I lived in a town for a while where all my friends' parents grew marijuana and even trimmed for a few of them (in the same shitty minimum wage job capacity that you might have worked at Burger King as a teenager). Anybody who was able to make any kind of money off of it grew and sold smart; I knew several successful growers with business type degrees and another who was a botonist. hurrhurrhurr has done a pretty good job of outlining the financial aspects of it (it's been years since I was involved in the business in any capacity so I have no idea what bulk market prices are like now) so I'll just add that it's really about who you know too.

If you are growing you aren't dealing; it's almost impossible to sling the kind of bulk that is actually profitable accounting for the high energy costs. You've got to know a lot of people and you have to have good judgment of character and some level of intelligence so you don't get completely fucked over; this means not letting people goad you into giving away free product or getting talked down in price among other things. You also need to NOT SMOKE ALL YOUR PRODUCT. I don't really think Jace and Tyce are capable of any of this; at best they'll be barely breaking even plus beer money. Although I suppose they'll be saving on their enormous weed consumption so there's that.

So yeah, I don't think Eli will be getting that Xbox.

 

[waffle]

@MakeItRain I guarantee they're slinging over priced dime bags to high school kids and other know-nothing burnouts who'll over pay because they don't know better. They might even have a group of high school dealers. If Tyce goes to school for any reason I guarantee it's weed distribution related.

As far as "if you're growing your not dealing", your thinking of people who carry on a normal human existence and have families and shit. Jace & Co. do nothing as far as we can tell but blaze and play vidya. They have plenty of time to grow and deal.

What's left they're probably selling to Kyle in bulk to distribute. He seems like an alright dude so they're probably getting a decent price from him.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

Damn, those are some pretty landscapes. To think that they're in one of the most culturally and religiously
significant places in the world. For most people it would
a fascinating experience. To think Eli is just putzing
around belligerently and disrespecting the locals. What a waste.

Considering the all the mizrahi or russians that like to chant "death to arabs", I wonder if exposure to genuine arabs and possible exposure to to real islamophobia would do anything to the deagle nation complex relating to that subject.