Ask men why they do things the way they do and maybe you'll get an honest answer

[Flaming_Barghast]

Ngl, I think it would be better to get a womansplainer in here (woman teaching other women) than have a man explain.
I'll write it very bluntly, men suck at explaining things to women. It isn't your fault, I'll explain.
Men- problem solvers. You see the woman hate thread, you want to try and explain/ "fix" the problem.
Women- we vent, are planners. We aren't inventing a problem, we complain as a way to release tension. It's why women don't get into fist fights to solve problems. Sure, that would immediately fix it, but it's pointless to us because why waste the energy hurting ourselves?
We would rather talk, plan, think, sometimes to our own detriment. Same with men, you guys are so gung ho about fixing a problem, you don't fucking listen. But it goes both ways, because we don't listen either.

I've gotten pretty good at understanding men through my husband, so if there's anything you men specifically want us women to know, quote any part of this with your thought, I'll "translate", so to speak.

A few examples to show I'm not bullshitting:

-Man says he isn't thinking of anything: true. Literal dissociation, brain off. They'll stare at a wall for hours, or think of a stupid fucking gif from 10 years ago randomly for the next week. Men are very simple and straightforward which clashes with our socially complex strategies as women.

-a woman asking if she looks fat: she wants a gentle, flattering answer. Pick something that does look good, like the shape, the color, pattern, etc. If there is none, say it doesn't match the shoes or something. Yes you will sound gay, no a woman doesn't care.
Example: woman wears something that shows pouchy belly, asks if they look fat.
"The color is really nice, but the shape isn't flattering to you, maybe try x".
I know guys aren't good at cuts, shapes, etc, you don't need to be, just point to something you liked before. If it's the first one, say "can I see other ones first? I'm not sure."
If you just answer honest with a yes, you are basically insulting. That's fighting words for women. If you say no, they think you're trying to embarrass them (because that's what women do to bully each other) that's why it's lose, lose. Guys suck at nuance, so there is nuance simplified.

Guys getting excited over something like a stick: literally that. They appreciate things they can be destructive with or pretend to be destructive with. No other reason.

Guys hurting themselves and wanting to do it again: intrusive stupidity and curiosity. Yes they know it's stupid, yes they know it will probably hurt again, they just want to make sure it will (and get excited when proven right, then want to trick someone else into doing it because now it's just funny, cycle repeats)

My husband taught me guys are stupid in a fun way when they trust you. It's fine to call them dumb or an idiot when they're being an idiot, but don't shame them for something they're genuinely excited about. It doesn't matter if you think it's stupid (like the stick thing), be excited because a guy showing you their dumb side is the equivilant of a cat showing its belly. It trusts you won't hurt them with this. Guys are a lot more sensitive about this specifically because only their best friends see it. A guy allowing themselves to be goofy around you is the equivilant of you sharing your worst fears, thoughts and self doubts, because that is their physical equivilant. It's *their* de-stressor.
I get that close to right?

 

[Paper Machete]

It's why women don't get into fist fights to solve problems.

We don't get into fistfights to "solve" problems because we're very frail compared to men and also need to worry more about our physical safety for reproductive reasons. Guys also avoid physical conflict as much as possible to a much larger degree than anyone appreciates. Only severely immature nigger brained retards are gunning for a fight like they're still fifteen and mad at the world.

The venting thing is true but it's partly because I think a lot of us a lot of the time would like it if the other person just did something to solve the problem and a lot of guys will put forth ideas for how you can fix whatever issue you have lmao which defeats the purpose. I think the other thing is honestly just wanting to gossip and when you're home at the end of a work day your man just might be the only one around to info dump useless drama on to ha ha

I think a lot of the issues with these discussions is that most women are fundamentally dishonest about their motivations and seemingly kneejerk to whatever instinctively feels the most convenient. So playing a game of telephone with them about guys is kinda sus. I say this as a woman myself, I constantly notice others being dishonest for what I can only assume is the urge to be assured there is no pressure put on them at all. Again, it sort of makes sense when you think of the desire to avoid conflict...but it's still obfuscation at the end of the day and it's often employed in the silliest of ways.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

We don't get into fistfights to "solve" problems because we're very frail compared to men and also need to worry more about our physical safety for reproductive reasons. Guys also avoid physical conflict as much as possible to a much larger degree than anyone appreciates. Only severely immature nigger brained retards are gunning for a fight like they're still fifteen and mad at the world.

The venting thing is true but it's partly because I think a lot of us a lot of the time would like it if the other person just did something to solve the problem and a lot of guys will put forth ideas for how you can fix whatever issue you have lmao which defeats the purpose. I think the other thing is honestly just wanting to gossip and when you're home at the end of a work day your man just might be the only one around to info dump useless drama on to ha ha

I think a lot of the issues with these discussions is that most women are fundamentally dishonest about their motivations and seemingly kneejerk to whatever instinctively feels the most convenient. So playing a game of telephone with them about guys is kinda sus. I say this as a woman myself, I constantly notice others being dishonest for what I can only assume is the urge to be assured there is no pressure put on them at all. Again, it sort of makes sense when you think of the desire to avoid conflict...but it's still obfuscation at the end of the day and it's often employed in the silliest of ways.

I'll write what I meant by it then: guys seem to want to be understood, so I explained extremely simplified reasoning of women, gave a handful of examples, and intend to write any straightforward answers a guy may want a girl to know in a way we get. This was not aimed for women essentially, so it's absolutely going to read as missing a lot of info we deem important that a man won't really care about. It isn't a dis on women, trying to have any particular goal, just a translation, pure and simple.

Also I disagree, guys will absolutely fight in an arguement. Not bloody, just a punch or two to get it out. I've seen every age of every race do it. But, I won't say all the whys because that isn't my point, I'm not speaking for men, I'm attempting to translate the two. Because men and women really do have such different ways of socializing and speaking that it's basically seperate languages.

 

[General Patton]

-a woman asking if she looks fat: she wants a gentle, flattering answer. Pick something that does look good, like the shape, the color, pattern, etc. If there is none, say it doesn't match the shoes or something. Yes you will sound gay, no a woman doesn't care.
Example: woman wears something that shows pouchy belly, asks if they look fat.
"The color is really nice, but the shape isn't flattering to you, maybe try x".
I know guys aren't good at cuts, shapes, etc, you don't need to be, just point to something you liked before. If it's the first one, say "can I see other ones first? I'm not sure."
If you just answer honest with a yes, you are basically insulting. That's fighting words for women. If you say no, they think you're trying to embarrass them (because that's what women do to bully each other) that's why it's lose, lose. Guys suck at nuance, so there is nuance simplified.

This is true. Too bad a lot of people (not all) here are too autistic as hell to realize this. One thing I realize more and more that I'm grateful about is my husband is pretty chill when I'm getting clothes with him. Sometimes he'll give me things he knows I'd like for me to try on.

 

[Frag Tag Mini 3]

You can't be a feminist and then say "not me". The actions of one are upon the entire group.

OK, commie

That's not communist or really socialist to say. For it to be some branch of commie, the group politics/blame has to be groups you don't get a choice in belonging to. Class, race, sex, sexuality. Seeing as ideology is something you can opt into or out of at any time, holding an avowed member of something as responsible in some way to the group is fair. Now, you could have an argument for this if the group is one with some kind of leadership and strict membership requirements. Feminism however has neither of those.

That is by the feminist rulebook, so I must hold you to that standard

You know nothing

The entire feminist world view starts out with collective guilt as a base assumption. Its a key defining trait and without it, the entire ideology implodes. So yes, it's entirely fair, if you are a feminist, to hold you to account for the actions of other feminists. Since to claim to be feminist, but to deny associated guilt of it's adherents is to deny feminism itself.

Which honestly blows my mind since the way out of this absurd Kafkaesque trap it's so retardedly simple it almost hurts to think about, but isn't ever taken because this all really boils down to popularity contests and a refusal to admit being wrong.

 

[Chromeo]

I know guys aren't good at cuts, shapes, etc,

You know, having been around crafty guys who understand cutting and shaping wood, or metal, or welding, or stitching, I feel like men are perfectly capable of understanding the shape of clothes. If a man was making clothes, he'd learn the difference between neckline shapes, sleeve lengths, cinched and uncinched waists, etc. It's not rocket science.
I feel like just saying "men aren't good at shapes" does a disservice to men, we're basically saying they're less intelligent than crows or toddlers. I think they just don't care to learn for one reason or another.

 

[Otterly]

Wait, you seriously think the playing field is level?

Depends which field you’re playing on. My job? No reason a man would be better than me because he’s a man. He might be better than me because he’s better and I’m a retard but not because he’s male. Other jobs, sex is an issue. Mine isn’t. So for me yes, I compete with the menfolk I suppose as much as I complete with any of my colleagues.
Same for an awful lot of jobs. What do you do for a living?

 

[RougeRed]

Why do you pee standing up?

Very late to this, but I hadn't seen my answer yet: Because a lot of the peepee and poopoo muscles are shared. It's not exactly difficult to only relax the peepee muscles and stand up to piss, but if I sit down, I can just relax all of them. I sit down to piss because fuck you. I have to try at almost every point in my day. For the few minutes where I'm going to relieve myself, I'm gonna just take a moment and relax.

"Ok, just gotta let my bladder go while not shitting my pants standing up. Is that a fart coming? Okay, better relax the butthole a tiny bit and let it out..."

Fuck that. I'm gonna sit on the toilet and just let it all go. Is it a fart? Is it shit? Doesn't matter. I'm gonna chill, make a post on KiwiFarms where I say peepee poopoo a bunch of times, and let it go.