06/12/17 - Flight of the Spuds! - For real, this time

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I hope he posts video of trying to ride outside. The physics of riding a bike is messed up and your brain has to get it reflexively. For example, at very low speeds you steer by turning the bars the direction you want to go. Above that you have to do the opposite, but only momentarily, so you start to fall the other way, and then straight, then in the direction of the turn to stop turning. You'll never consciously know you're doing it. It's why all little kids wobble and then ride into the curb or up driveways on curved roads at first. Phil's self-image will make this really hard for him. He'll just whine about needing a teacher for something that can't be taught.

He'll be miserable in what he's wearing, too. Especially the cotton.
 
kcbbq powiedział(a):
He'll just whine about needing a teacher for something that can't be taught.
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I'm sure at some point, we'll see a "Help Izzybell Recover From Houselessness! I need $10 a week for a month for bike riding lessons so I can gain financial independence. You all aren't supporting me enough!"
 
kcbbq powiedział(a):
I hope he posts video of trying to ride outside. The physics of riding a bike is messed up and your brain has to get it reflexively. For example, at very low speeds you steer by turning the bars the direction you want to go. Above that you have to do the opposite, but only momentarily, so you start to fall the other way, and then straight, then in the direction of the turn to stop turning. You'll never consciously know you're doing it. It's why all little kids wobble and then ride into the curb or up driveways on curved roads at first. Phil's self-image will make this really hard for him. He'll just whine about needing a teacher for something that can't be taught.

He'll be miserable in what he's wearing, too. Especially the cotton.
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He could try training wheels but he's such a fat fuck I bet he'd tip over even with those.
 
AnOminous powiedział(a):
He could try training wheels but he's such a fat fuck I bet he'd tip over even with those.
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Fat isn't Phil's limitation. I know of people who started out at well over 500lbs and having to carry oxygen with them. If they find the right place to ask for help a lot of times the hobby sticks with them. The cool thing about cycling is you keep your fat person legs long enough past getting down to a reasonable size you have a head start on being a beast on fast rides. For a lot of people that's enough to keep old bad habits away - for someone's who has always been fat and out of shape legitimately being viewed as an athlete can be a powerful drug.

Amazingly, there are places to get a two-wheeled bike for a 550lb person.

Phil is limited by being a self-centered, self-righteous, entitled jackass.
 
Graffiti canvas powiedział(a):
Then you remember he's an entitled feeling shitlord liar who tries to manipulate or guilt others (some more mentally challenged than he) into giving him money nearly every chance he can.

I don't feel sorry for him one bit. I'd love to force his potato ass to work someplace like a brick factory on a conveyor line or on a landscaping crew with a bunch of sun hardened Mexicans for a week, 8 hours a day.

And film it for Kiwi posterity.
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Ehh. Chris and other lolcows used to make me feel like that. But I think I just made a connection after awhile that someone like Phil is barely above homeless thinks he's a girl and is sitting on a pretend bike wearing a lamp helmet thing like he's in "The Descent."

This nigga living a meme and he's like 32.

We get one life and this is how he's spending it. It's hard for me to feel anything but sympathy toward someone failing in that many regards.
 
7844db1bfaf2f6ab2a549672ee8d50cb.png


"MOVE CIS GET OUT THE WAY"

:hah::hah::hah::hah::hah::hah::hah:

why cant all trannies be this funny?
 
The best thing about this photo is that you just know he's spent time putting on all of his various bike gear so he can sit on his bike in his flat and play make believe. The whole 'move cis' thing is completly moot, because he'll never ride his bike outside anywhere, ever.

Hilariously tragic, or tragically hilarious - you decide.

That properly looks like a sped helmet, though.
 
I bet spuds spends more time dressing up and preening in the mirror then actually riding the trainer. Even though with a trainer you don't have to worry about balancing, friction, or g-forces of any sort being on a bike scares the shit out of him. This is the closest he'll ever be to actually riding a bike. The only reasons he has this whole get up is to try and be part of the bike scene and to try and fool people into thinking he can ride.
 
He needs something in his life to do thst's mundane enough, but rewarding. The bike could be that, but he's such a coward it'll never happen. All he needs to do is go find a big flat grass field and fall over for a couple days. You look like an idiot, but that's how most riders get used to riding in clipless pedals if they start using them so it's not like he'd be too odd learning that way. He'd be the happiest he's probably been.

There's a dude on the internet who is like a clone of boogie who instead of taking the surgery option when offered decided that instead he would race bicycles. One year later he started his first cyclocross race. He's still double the weight of his competition, broken, fragile emotionally with a terrible relationship with food, but it brings him absolute joy. The bike may just be as good of therapy for Phil as for that dude.
 
kcbbq powiedział(a):
He needs something in his life to do thst's mundane enough, but rewarding. The bike could be that, but he's such a coward it'll never happen. All he needs to do is go find a big flat grass field and fall over for a couple days. You look like an idiot, but that's how most riders get used to riding in clipless pedals if they start using them so it's not like he'd be too odd learning that way. He'd be the happiest he's probably been.

There's a dude on the internet who is like a clone of boogie who instead of taking the surgery option when offered decided that instead he would race bicycles. One year later he started his first cyclocross race. He's still double the weight of his competition, broken, fragile emotionally with a terrible relationship with food, but it brings him absolute joy. The bike may just be as good of therapy for Phil as for that dude.
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Basically anything that he has to work for would be an improvement to his self-esteem. The trouble is that Phil wants instant gratification. It's quicker and easier to take a selfie saying he rides his bike than to actually dedicate time and effort to learning to for real, with its attendant frustration, pain and embarassment. In the short term, it has the same effect - a couple of asspats and he can bask in his fantasy of being a bicycle-riding cis-murdering Latinx punk grrl.

Maybe it's a function of his autism, but I don't think he can conceptualise the idea of the future. For a relatively small amount of effort now, he could live the rest of his life as someone who can actually ride a bike. The great irony is that most people barely even think about being able to cycle, but it would make Phil deliriously happy. It's such a small ambition, but he won't work for it.
 
5oy5JGf.jpg

Our brave spud can't hide his love for country. You shy little potato, we respect your service in the Vietnam conflict!

3bIlBNp.jpg

But, we do question your judgement for calling in a napalm strike on those villages. I guess they were just too overrun with communism. I get it, you make hard decisions in war!
 
Fulda's Gap powiedział(a):
5oy5JGf.jpg

Our brave spud can't hide his love for country. You shy little potato, we respect your service in the Vietnam conflict!

3bIlBNp.jpg

But, we do question your judgement for calling in a napalm strike on those villages. I guess they were just too overrun with communism. I get it, you make hard decisions in war!
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...

I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy; we fought ourselves. And the enemy... was in us.
 
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