a simple favor - livestream 8/26/2021

[Tiny Clanger]

Being all hypothetical and making some assumptions bigger than Fat Al's ginormous arse - that she'll get over her car anguisheziuhteeee and her getting up off the sofa angziuhteeee and all her copious other mentals, that she can actually get from sofa to car without stroking out* (and remembers to take snacks for the journey as well as in-car snacks, proud-of-herself reward snacks, emergency snacks etc etc) and and that there is sufficient WD40 in the world to grease her up, squeeze her into a hummer and arrange the various bulges until she's an approximation of facing forward....taking all that and the squealing and the breakdowns and all the rest of it into account, would she legally be eligible to drive?

I don't think she'd pass the test here cos her movement is too restricted and various lumps would fall over the centre console and impair the controls.. And that's without even working out the mechanics of her t-rex arms reaching the wheel or the cheese pillars reaching the pedals - she's a short-arse but can't pull the seat forward and we can all see how she's basically smooshed into the car roof because of the spare tyre built into her nether regions. But that can be finessed with various devices but she can't look over her shoulder, for instance.

I remember one of the blobs on MSHPL (the JOO BLEEEF IN GAAARD nightmare) shown driving and she had the seat extended and tilted so far backwards she was basically driving whilst lying on her back. But I don't know what your tests are like and it is Kentucky. They probably accept a fingerprint in lieu of a signature....

So what's the gen, gorls? Driving is almost see as a human right in the US,but I have no idea how your testing system works or if there even is one. Educating me, pliz n fanx.



*maybe Wipey is just going to roll her over to the window and drop her through the sun-roof of the car. Gravity will certainly assist - our gorl, the car, and all the snacks will end up at the bottom of a huge crater, from which an eldritch miasma of cheese arises along with squeals of "BABEEEEEE...."

And now I want this.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Some dogs are like that. They really don't like dark skinned people. Or men. Or men with beards. Or men with hats. I've seen it all. Makes them go fucking crazy.

Edit: I've seen cats, guinea pigs and horses do it, too.

Ditto sheep, pigs, chickens, cardinals, swallows, owls, and geese. I originally had swans in that list, but swans are dicks in general.

Being all hypothetical and making some assumptions bigger than Fat Al's ginormous arse - that she'll get over her car anguisheziuhteeee and her getting up off the sofa angziuhteeee and all her copious other mentals, that she can actually get from sofa to car without stroking out* (and remembers to take snacks for the journey as well as in-car snacks, proud-of-herself reward snacks, emergency snacks etc etc) and and that there is sufficient WD40 in the world to grease her up, squeeze her into a hummer and arrange the various bulges until she's an approximation of facing forward....taking all that and the squealing and the breakdowns and all the rest of it into account, would she legally be eligible to drive?

I don't think she'd pass the test here cos her movement is too restricted and various lumps would fall over the centre console and impair the controls.. And that's without even working out the mechanics of her t-rex arms reaching the wheel or the cheese pillars reaching the pedals - she's a short-arse but can't pull the seat forward and we can all see how she's basically smooshed into the car roof because of the spare tyre built into her nether regions. But that can be finished with various devices but she can't look over her shoulder, for instance.

Most DMV people are assholes. Big Al would fail because she wouldn't be mobile enough to so safety checks, look properly in both directions/behind her, etc. I doubt they'd even allow her to back the car out of the parking space, much less drive the course. FAIL.

*maybe Wipey is just going to roll her over to the window and drop her through the sun-roof of the car. Gravity will certainly assist - our gorl, the car, and all the snacks will end up at the bottom of a huge crater, from which an eldritch miasma of cheese arises along with squeals of "BABEEEEEE...."

And now I want this.

Yet another mess for taxpayers to fix thanks to her. Ugh.

 

[Final Gorl]

My money is on Wifey being a "stud," which means she will be directing all of the seggs that happens (if any), and won't require or desire reciprocation. I also don't believe there will be a flesh and blood penis anywhere within penetrative radius of Hamber during the Wifey saga.

As much as folks love to hate on YDHB, I think her most recent video about the ALR/Wifey dynamic was pretty spot on. I get quite shady opportunistic vibes here. I wholly believe that Wifey is insisting she not appear on camera, *not* ALR. I feel like Amber was also being plied with alcoholic beverages in her first video with Wifey. I think Wifey is testing every parameter to see how and *how far* Amber can be manipulated.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

I don't know why Wipey needs to teach her to drive when she's already a better driver than Becky.

Amber went from 'I will never learn to drive, don't want to, don't need to' to "I neeeeed to learn how to drive NAO.'

I think Wipey made it clear that chauffeur is not the job she applied for and this is not Driving Miss Lazy.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Yet another mess for taxpayers to fix thanks to her. Ugh.

True. But seeing Albert crash-land through a car in an explosion of flub, cheese and hideous plastic joory all encased in a pink nylon tarp would be so funny it'd be worth it.

Overall though, it's a relief she's unlikely to be going anywhere further than the fridge, as per. I hope Wipey has an ulterior motive because I cannot imagine anything sadder than flying across Murica just to sit in a shitty apartment with a shrieking mastodon fashioned from lard, a shitpile of the worst Wommart has to offer and a neurotic dog. Who never growls usually, yet Albert managed to ignore that along with every other screaming red flag.

Let's hope it's only her bank balance, her ego and her feefees that get a doing-over...


@StrawberryDouche If Thumbo is doing Uber they can just call her up to serve, Strorbs. Added bonus that she is proficient at squooshing Albert into the car and seems to be immune to the pneumatic-drill shrieks and giggles out gorl emits. Any other driver would piledrive themselves into a wall on the basis that death is better than having their ears drilled by 600 elbees of purest rendered blob who loves that situation booboo and is leaving the planet. Not fucking fast enough, she ain't.

 

[dfranki723]

Call me a crazy animal lady but if the presence of a stranger in my home caused any of my animals to react negatively (especially if it was out of character), I would have to work out another arrangement. I also wouldn't let a stranger fucking take them anywhere without my presence just as a precaution. Fuck is Fatty doing?

This new bint doesn't HAVE to stay in the flat. Famber just can't bear to put anything or anyone before herself. The animals must be confused as to where Thumb is. Poor little buggers.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

And that's without even working out the mechanics of her t-rex arms reaching the wheel or the cheese pillars reaching the pedals

Thank you, @Tiny Clanger ! That wonderful description of Hambernatomy made my day! I honestly needed that laugh after all the time I've spent in the last week of doom and gloom in the A&N Joe Biden thread.



The dog thing: Yup. As a kid, we had a rescue German Shepherd named Spike. Spike DID NOT take to black folk at all. He was fine around anyone white and a very loving playful dog. But even seeing a black person through the truck window, you'd think he was going to rip their throats out. We never made him that way. Instinct? Prior training? Who knows... Spike was not a dog anyone would want to tangle with.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

Call me a crazy animal lady but if the presence of a stranger in my home caused any of my animals to react negatively (especially if it was out of character), I would have to work out another arrangement. I also wouldn't let a stranger fucking take them anywhere without my presence just as a precaution. Fuck is Fatty doing?

This new bint doesn't HAVE to stay in the flat. Famber just can't bear to put anything or anyone before herself. The animals must be confused as to where Thumb is. Poor little buggers.

Who else will walk poor Twinkie? Not our gorl, she'd have to dip into the Awrinje Chimkin fund to pay a dog walker.

 

[Xenomorph]

We're not washing your ass and sandblasting your feet, Amber stop asking us.

 

[Impossible Brutality]

So, Amber opening up her mind to relationships with men is interesting if true. Is this her showing desperation for someone to care take?

Better chance at a male feeder probably.

also, hamber thinking someone working hard constitutes taking a bath or not eating 9 meals a day.

 

[I am vomit]

Fuck is Fatty doing?

Implying she gives one iota of a fuck about her animals.

 

[eDove]

Called it, motherfuckers.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Thank you, @Tiny Clanger ! That wonderful description of Hambernatomy made my day! I honestly needed that laugh after all the time I've spent in the last week of doom and gloom in the A&N Joe Biden thread.

Oh my poor dear. NEVE R go full AnH (or whatever we're calling it this week) lest you fall in never to resurface atop the pickle juice of life. I recommend at least a 1:1 ratio of the dumbfuckery here to reset the gimbles cos would be a terrible thing if we lost you to the politispergs.


I didn't watch the full stream cos there isn't enough Valium in the world, but Twinkie's behaviour was really strange. I don't think I've ever heard her growl before but even in a ten minute compilation she was not a happy bunny. And of course Fat Al just ignored her whereas I think I'd take notice if my usually neurotic-to-the-point-of-pathos dog changed her behaviour that much. She's really not happy about something - could be Thumbo escaping and not taking Twinkie with her, could be something about Wipey. Whatever it is, I guarantee it won't be whatever shite Our Lady of the Lard thinks up in her dumb fat head then expects us to believe.

 

[KiwiKunt!!]

In the New Era of Wifey

- I think we are going to hear a lot of this

 

[Plague Dog]

Call me a crazy animal lady but if the presence of a stranger in my home caused any of my animals to react negatively (especially if it was out of character), I would have to work out another arrangement. I also wouldn't let a stranger fucking take them anywhere without my presence just as a precaution. Fuck is Fatty doing?

IDK, my cat freaked out once when we got out a tiny hammer when we were making a bookshelf. It's like we waited 5 years and loved him and spoiled him, just to suddenly decide to get out our cat whacking hammer one day. It could also be that the person physically resembles someone the animal had a bad experience with or the animal might just be a "1 person" animal and doesn't like their human giving attention to anyone else.

Basically animals can be just as irrational as people. It's not nothing, but sometimes they can just act weird.

 

[Witch Bitch]

Thank you, @Tiny Clanger ! That wonderful description of Hambernatomy made my day! I honestly needed that laugh after all the time I've spent in the last week of doom and gloom in the A&N Joe Biden thread.



The dog thing: Yup. As a kid, we had a rescue German Shepherd named Spike. Spike DID NOT take to black folk at all. He was fine around anyone white and a very loving playful dog. But even seeing a black person through the truck window, you'd think he was going to rip their throats out. We never made him that way. Instinct? Prior training? Who knows... Spike was not a dog anyone would want to tangle with.

From what I read ut has to do with if they have ever seen a black person when they were puppies. When they grow up never seeing someone who looks different seeing a black person freaks them out. It scares them. :3

 

[Tea Sipper]

So in this stream Big AL mentions that Becky was always vocalising that she was afraid AL would leave her for a man. Which explains why Becky was pissed off with the idea of AL liking a man in this retro clip:

Also, I'm slowly becoming more and more sure that Hambo is just a lesbian out of convenience. Wipey is the new butler and AL has to be sure she'll stick around, balls and all.

 

[KiwiKunt!!]

So in this stream Big AL mentions that Becky was always vocalising that she was afraid AL would leave her for a man. Which explains why Becky was pissed off with the idea of AL liking a man in this retro clip:

i made a mistake....._Trim.mp4

Also, I'm slowly becoming more and more sure that Hambo is just a lesbian out of convenience. Wipey is the new butler and AL has to be sure she'll stick around, balls and all.

It just sounds like she is fucking with her - Anyway we all know Amber has a thing for pubescent boys and Christ Eric is barely a man

 

[Ed Special]

Amber just said she is willing to experiment with men ??!

And I'm sure there's a man out there somewhere who's willing to experiment with a water buffalo, so now they just need to find each other.

 

[KiwiKunt!!]

And I'm sure there's a man out there somewhere who's willing to experiment with a water buffalo, so now they just need to find each other.

Eric is such a gimp he probably be up for it