Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Enjoying the park updates, keep 'em coming.

The one on the right says Oga's Cantina, the one on the left says T-16 Skyhopper and has a gryphon on it for some reason which I guess is a reference to Filoni's light side goddess who could turn into a gryphon, although I'm not sure what that has to do with the skyhopper.

The model T-16 that Luke is playing around with in A New Hope has a griffon painted on the side. Even in high resolution stills it's really only visible on screen as a little red blob. It's actually not a bad nod to a bit of relatively obscure trivia from the series.

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why yes I am a huge fucking nerd why do you ask
 
Enjoying the park updates, keep 'em coming.



The model T-16 that Luke is playing around with in A New Hope has a griffon painted on the side. Even in high resolution stills it's really only visible on screen as a little red blob. It's actually not a bad nod to a bit of relatively obscure trivia from the series.

Wyświetl załącznik 815781

Wyświetl załącznik 815783

why yes I am a huge fucking nerd why do you ask
Well I'll be frozen in carbonite. That was a gryphon? I always thought it was some kind of ambiguous alien bird. That's the price I pay for not being a more dedicated ship nerd...
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They all look rather poorly made and not much in the way of presentation, like someone threw a bunch of fruit, ice, and juice into a blender and then emptied the resultant homogenized sludge into a quirky shaped glass, expecting the glass to carry the weight of making a good visual impression. The only one that looks remotely like a science-fiction beverage to me is that "jello in a bowl" thing, at least it looks rather alien compared to the rest where it either looks like a conventional drink or you can even ID the individual ingredients by sight.

And what's with so many of these drinks using Powerade as an ingredient? It just sounds trashy to put that stuff in a drink that is 15+ dollars.
I said it last page, but i don't understand why they didn't take current drinks and give the a slight twist. Tequila sunrise = Tatooine sunrise, blue lagoon = Jedi mind trick, etc. There are plenty of current cocktails that could be given a slight modification and people would already have an idea about the taste. If they wanted some spacey looking non alcoholic drinks they could have ripped off varieties of Asian pearl m.ilk teas. Instead just like the food items it looks like a mishmash of shit they had left over than anything thought out.

Powerade reeks of being cheap too.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
Am I the only one dying a little inside when I read "tastes like regular powerade, but it costs 10+ bucks" over and over again?
Some drinks might be interesting, but overall, they merely seemed to have focused on giving a regular drink some silly gimmick, like making it a weird color or putting some fruit pulp on top of it...

Remember back when Mark Hamil was so stoked to return as Luke Skywalker? Fuck you Disney.


https://boundingintocomics.com/2019...l-be-his-last-star-wars-movie-i-sure-hope-so/ http://archive.li/YPmW5
God, this is so sad.
Maybe I'm just reading too much into it, but this is... man.
This guy used to be so passionate about Luke, now he can't wait to get it over with.
I bet he's just so past fucking done with Star Wars, after they ruined his character out of pure spite and malice.
Poor Luke.
Poor Mark.
He deserved better.
 
Well since the coverage on all the "sights" of the park is complete, all that's left to do now is talk about minor shit in the park or details I missed or didn't have yet. For those who just got here, my coverage starts at page 500 with the opening ceremony.

For starters here's the food items on Docking Bay 7's menu, most of which you can already get in other parts of Disney like the plaza, Hungry Bear, 50s diner and Lamplight Lounge.

First off is one I covered before but want to cover again for those who just got here and for the sake of having the whole menu on one post, since this is the worst food item at the park, its "A Taste of Takodana".
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This vegan bowl of veggies and crap is part of the kid's menu and is made up of black bean hummus, edible soil, nuts, raw veggies and gluten-free multi-gran crisps. It looks like fungus and it tastes like fungus, being really spicy and gooey which just turns kids away and yet its supposed to be for 3 year olds. All reviewers hate it and the nicest thing anyone can say about it is that its "too sophisticated for simple palettes such as ours". The lore behind this its that its a "nature salad" from Takodana, which is the first Yavin 4 knockoff in TFA (the second being the one with the Rebel Resistance base) and its where yellow Yoda lives and according to Disney canon, Takodana is the home planet of chickens. In case you missed it before, the lore of Docking Bay 7 is that all the food is made by yellow Yoda's mutant chef.
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None of the veggies or anything have any alien names, its just tomatoes, lettuce, etc. The taste of Tacoshit costs 8.49 (with tax).

This is the Fried Endorian Tip-Yip. I've talked about this one before but here it is again for the same reasons as the takothing but with the missing details.
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Its a rectangular chicken strip with mashed potatoes and veggies, all marinated in large amounts of butter and organic gravy. Its the same stuff you can get at the 50s diner the difference being the shape of the chicken and the overabundance of butter and gravy. Its one of only two things in the restaurant that's consistently well rated, however there's been reviewers saying who ate this same dish several times but it would taste different depending on the time of day, for example tasting dry and overcookeed or barely flavorful at times, which I guess means that the appeal of the dish depends on which employee is cooking back there. The lore behind this is that Tip-Yips are Endorian chickens which are domesticated by Ewoks and were seen in ROTJ, the Ewok movies, Ewok cartoons and anything ewok-related. It costs 16 dollars. There's also a healthier alternative called Roasted Endorian Tip-Yip Salad that replaces the butter, gravy and mashed potatoes with an organic vegetable salad, pumpkin seeds, green curry ranch dressing and quinoa. It looks gross, tastes meh and costs 13.99.
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There's also a kid's meal version which is the same as the adult's but smaller and comes with veggies, macaroni and cheese instead of mashed potatoes much like in other kids meals at Disney. It costs 10 dollars.
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Now comes the shit I didn't cover.

This is Smoked Kaadu Ribs.
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Its a really salty and sour pork rib marinated in some kind of sour Korean sauce. Its served on top of a blue berry muffin and cabbage slaw. The pork is not good but the muffin is enjoyable even though its just a regular blueberry muffin you can get anywhere, but the problem is that they don't sell the muffin separately. The lore behind this is that the pork ribs are supposed to be Kaadu ribs, with the Kaadu being the the two-legged duck horses from the prequels which are ridden and domesticated by Gungans. I would like to say that this is like the other pork ribs at the park except its not since this one is described as incredibly sour and salty. This thing costs 16.99.

This is the Braised Shaak Roast.
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Its served only at dinner hours. It is a beef pot roast with gravy, shredded veggies, cavatelli pasta, wilted kale and mushrooms. Some reviews say its an interesting combination but its the same as the beef pot roast you can get at the plaza inn. The lore behind this is that its made from Shaak meat, with Shaaks being those extra thicc bovines from the prequels and other pre-Disney media. Shaaks come from Naboo obviously. The rest is just irl food. The whole thing costs 18.99.

This is Yobshrimp Noodle Salad.
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Its just shrimp, veggies and noodles which is the same shit you can get at the lamplight/ariel's grotto. Yobshrimps were temperamental purple crustaceans from Naboo in pre-Disney lore that were a delicacy among Gungans who would eat them alive because it was dangerously fun for them.
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Honestly sounds more fun than the park. The dish costs 10.99.

I'll just be copypasting what I said before about the breakfast dish. If Disney can do it, so can I.
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This one's called the Bright Suns Morning which costs 11 dollars. It consists of a three cheese egg bite omelette, two pork sausages (same ones you can get at Ronto Rosters), a potato and a mustafar bread roll. The roll you can get at the Cantina too. I already talked about the roll on the last page. Everything else is just irl stuff with no lore. Maybe there will be some lore one day depending if an employee feels like coming up with something or actually knows obscure SW info.

I'll get to the rest later.
 
I wonder why the only place at this park the Prequels get much reference is in the restaurants?
Maybe cause you can reference the original stuff (not just the prequels) without cannibalising sales for nuWars toys.
If you sold Darth Vader, Luke, Darth Columbine and Rey toys, guess which ones would be shelf-warmers and which would be sold out all the time.
When you sell the Darth Vader Deluxe Tripple Plasma Encabulator Juicerino (Grape-flavoured powerade with licorice to make it black and a slice of Kumquat, called "Batuu Bunguberry" in GE park) for 15 dollars, it doesn't matter so much. Especially when people most likely choose food not by name but rather by what they get (like someone who wants to eat chicken will eat the chicken dish, no matter if it's called the "Kylo Ren Crusty Cromlinian Searat-stick" or the "Sheev Palpatine Ungabunganian Proteinbar Sizzler" or whatever stupid name these clowns come up with.

With toys, however, it matters a lot what you get, so there's only a few select toys (or merch) that feature the old characters and it's always stuff that does not overlap with stuff for nuWars.

This is how little confidence Disney actually has in their own products/characters.
They want to make money, so not giving patrons what they would throw their money at must have a different reason. And the only thing almost as important as making money is saving face.
If people flocked to the park employees dressed up as Luke and Darth Vader, while Rey and Ren just idly stand there, barely noticed, that is pretty embarassing.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
Tarine Tea.
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Its peach, huckleberry, and mint tea that costs 6.50. It has the same fruit on top as the Black Spire Brew. Tarine Tea first appeared in the Filoni Wars movie where General Loathsom served some to Kenobi. Tarin is the name of a star system from pre-Disney lore that was home to the primitive and dragon-like Tempestro species.

Call me dumb, but what are you supposed to do with the lime? Peel it and eat it? Throw it out?


Also, whoever decided to use Powerade as the base of multiple drinks needs to be fired.
 
All reviewers hate it and the nicest thing anyone can say about it is that its "too sophisticated for simple palettes such as ours".
I can't imagine anyone staying straight faced saying this about sliced vegetables and a hummus based dip. :lol:

Call me dumb, but what are you supposed to do with the lime? Peel it and eat it? Throw it out?

Also, whoever decided to use Powerade as the base of multiple drinks needs to be fired.
I think they've given half a lime, rather than the usual amount of a slice you'd normally see on cocktails. I don't know why they wouldn't just add it to the drink if it required half a lime to taste. I also just realised it's not an alcoholic cocktail, but a peach, huckleberry, mint and lime tea which sounds awful to me.

I wonder if it's part of the new coke deal and they are getting it for so much cheaper or if it's some dumb safety thing to prevent drunkenness from tourists that may be dehydrated, etc. I wouldn't think it'd work much better than just regular coke or some other soda though. Brawndo Powerade: it's got what plants tourists crave. It's got electrolytes.
 
I can't imagine anyone staying straight faced saying this about sliced vegetables and a hummus based dip. :lol:


I think they've given half a lime, rather than the usual amount of a slice you'd normally see on cocktails. I don't know why they wouldn't just add it to the drink if it required half a lime to taste. I also just realised it's not an alcoholic cocktail, but a peach, huckleberry, mint and lime tea which sounds awful to me.

I wonder if it's part of the new coke deal and they are getting it for so much cheaper or if it's some dumb safety thing to prevent drunkenness from tourists that may be dehydrated, etc. I wouldn't think it'd work much better than just regular coke or some other soda though. Brawndo Powerade: it's got what plants tourists crave. It's got electrolytes.
There is no way possible that Disney got actual mixologists to fucking concoct those drinks. This feels like they got the marketing department of Star Wars, so twitter losers they pay in Funko Pops, to make their drinks for them. Or hell, maybe Bob did it himself because it'd be cheaper. All I do know is that if most of your mixed drink ideas are "Powerade but with some shit in it", then you did not consult an expert and in fact just went out for the cheapest shit because you know that your park and product is a shitshow.

That you then upmark it to drink levels at a normal bar highly indicates that you also hate your customers and only see them as a quick buck rather than a steady flow.

And the food... that is what the food looks like. It looks straight up like elevated cafeteria food or prison food for the most part with that tendies tier chicken on some probably instant mash. They can't even get a rub that isn't a nightmare for the pork, and they're using cheap beef cuts and upmarking it hideously.

That feeling when I'm pretty sure anyone in this thread can make a better restaurant than Disney can with their fuck-you amounts of money.
 
I would actually go out of my way to provide the proprietary light fixtures, hallway and stair design to properly reflect some environmental aspects seen in KOTOR.
 
Paying 20 bucks for cheaply-made over-priced slop to eat. You could get a fine steak for a cheaper price elsewhere. What a fucking joke.
I've bought honest to god lamb loin chops (pricier given the US prefers lamb over mutton, it's the grass fed upmarked shit, and we don't consume a lot like euros do) that are cheaper than 85% of that menu and yet served me for more than one meal. Bet even my amateur cook ass cooked them better too.

Those prices should be reflective of the quality, but they're not. All they indicate was this was a Bob Iger IP cashgrab and he's doing it even to the parks at this point.
 
Ironically this restaurant would probably be less of a dud if they based it on that random diner from the prequels
 
To this day, I particularly like how they didn't even come up with exclusive food for their SW themed park.
That's the biggest appeal, when it comes to food and drink in such parks.

Where's the "magic" if I can eat the same thing in 5 other places where I don't have to stand in line for almost an hour, which would waste a quarter of my allowance to stay in that park even?
Japanese McDonalds has regular special menus, oftentimes with regional themes, such as a Kansai-style Burger with beef or a Kanto-style Burger with pork. Special sauces and stuff on the burger, too.

So why does a park worth 3 billion dollar not have a special selection of food?
This is just beyond lazy.

Also, consider the following:

When I was contemplating the difference between Luke and Rey when it comes to acting as a figure that experiences the story like the audience does (thus giving them a character to relate to), I noticed the major difference between Luke, who acts as a character to identify with, and Rey, who is a self-insert and nothing more. The realisation that she's a self-insert certainly isn't new, but I never gave the contrast between Rey and Luke more thought than "Rey sucks and Luke's character works way better in his story".

Luke is a character with his own personality, but he has been designed in a way to make him relatable to the audience. Such as "He wants to escape his boring life, I would like to do that too.". You identify with traits that Luke's character possesses and his personality.
Meanwhile, Rey is merely a blank slate without a personality or character traits. You don't look at her and go "She expresses [x] and I feel like that at times, too.", since there is nothing there. Well, nothing more elaborate than the most generic basics for her to be a Mary Sue, that is.

I found that little idea rather fascinating, just now.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
Also, consider the following:
The way they introduce the two characters is also quite different. Luke wants to leave that harsh place, to become a x-wing pilot, there's that sense of adventure. Rey's first appearence isn't like that. She has a job, a routine, doesn't want to leave, she's waiting for her parents to come back. That's not how you start an epic story.
Rey is a bad protagonist, every decision she makes is based on what happens in the next scene. She always appears at the right place at the right time and every iconic character has to stop what they're doing to acknowledge her presence.
 
Rey is a bad protagonist, every decision she makes is based on what happens in the next scene.
Holy shit, the way you wrote that made everything fall into place. They made the fucking movies backwards, then asspulled themselves to the beginning. That's why the endings were cheap, shitty knockoff versions of the OT, but the beginnings were (slightly) different!
 
The biggest issue with Rey is that due to how JJ filmed TFA, the movie doesn't really slow down too much so you can have time to know her. Also, because Kathleen Kennedy is a sad middleaged woman living through her, she directed the Bella Swan approach to her character, which is designed to try and get girls to visualize themselves as her.

Rey has very slight moments of personality; excitement over learning her powers, having to use the Falcon to skeet skeet out of Jaku, and so on. But they do not build on it.

Fuck it, might as well mention some things that'd have helped TFA and even a very slipshod napkin outline for my take on how it should've gone, even though I think it's still okay (barring it being pointless now):

So ideas on Rey as a character. The idea is that she is a bit more like Han than Luke; a junk dealer and young gun not afraid to stiff clients or run with the money. Snarky, not afraid to use foul means, but really is just a kid who needs guidance. At her core she's just like Luke in optimism; she does this to one day afford her own ship so she can ditch Jaku and live a life she wants to live; she craves the driver life, wants to see rain ever since she had dreams of it, so on.

FN should have stayed closer to his Stormtrooper draft where he's a diehard First Order loyalist who uses Poe's clothes to disguise himself as a Republic (not Resistance) soldier and is caught up in Rey's shenanigans. The two are given a capture on sight order due to BB-8 (whose macguffin is really just Snoke's actual Dossier) and they have to fucking leave. During the journey the two share barbs and have kind of a Han/Leia relationship, not necessarily falling in love like they do, but the tension is there.

Some other ideas I had include the following: They meet Han Solo during a grift, but it's on world where he was grifting (insert mobster here). They fuck up Han's big score and that's how they get on the falcon. Han in this case is older, haunted by his failure to be a father and family man, and just drifted back into smuggling after the war since he knew he fucked up with Ben and Leia. Rey and FN basically do babby's first grift with him, and he admires them for their talent as he trounces them with experience. This is also the first time Rey accidentally uses the force, doing a bastardized mind trick that does not work due to wanting it bad enough.

This impresses Han, and he decides that just this once he'll let them on to wherever they need to go. Chewie expresses doubt, but Han zips it because he likes their spirit. They go on a wacky adventure has him teach Rey, who shows an interest in piloting and who has force powers, and he just wryly remarks that he's turning into Luke. She asks more about the famous war general and Han just remarks with sadness that all he knows is that Luke's been dead for ten years by this point, killed by the man chasing them: Kylo Ren.

And yes, I would have their wars and shit just be akin to WW2; it's still history, but very famous history. And Luke is not the macguffin in this idea of mine; it instead is something that twists the New Hope plot in a new way.
 
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