Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Here are the tard cum Sippers.

This is the Siren sipper. She costs 25 dollars. Straight from the titty.

Who would want an image of that... thing on their... on anything?

 

[Relic 31]

How in the hell do they not have enough back stock or constant merchandise shipments coming in to keep those shelves full of all correct product? I would be pissed if I spent over $100 for ticket, managed to get into the store before my 4 hour period was over and couldn’t even get a Sith holocron and crystal.

It’s also crazy that characters that are confirmed money makers like Darth Vader, Boba Fett and Han Solo have so little merchandise available. Slap some Mandalorian logos on some shit and watch the cash roll in.

It’s like every feature, function and concept of this park was scientifically designed to be as lame as possible. I’m honestly impressed at how much Disney has managed to screw up every aspect with how they have handled the Star Wars property.

 

[Dom Cruise]

Well he was truly a once on a lifetime creator with the only man who could bring such imagination and creativity to the forefront in equal force was Jim Henson. I truly wonder who the next creator that will be the next person to create something truly special that does make a lot of money while having a true heart and soul around it?

Yes, Jim Henson was another guy like that and like Walt they tragically died far sooner than they should have.

The data scans have been a thing for a while and supposedly it was started to stop ticket frauds. I think I talked about it several pages back when I mentioned DA RULES didn't I? The Galaxy's Edge one takes it up a notch to make sure no one overstays their welcome as guests are only allowed within the park for a period of 4 hours. Guests are tracked via their IDs and data and when their times runs out a nu-trooper will show up and escort them out. Supposedly this is the current wait limit until August in order to control park visits. When August comes along and the second park opens, there will be some further changes to the wait limit to control overpopulation, but I don't know if they'll be for the better or for the worse since they could shorten visit times or increase them, but considering that Disney expects a large number of visitors I suspect they'll shorten things but that's just what I think. Disney claims to delete this information, but big corporations make all sorts of claims to save face.
Doomcock was alright up until that Shatner drama, but I still like him and he's still informative.

I'll list the rest of the drinks in a moment if I have the time. And if you're all still interested, I haven't given details and reviews on all the food items at the Docking Bay restaurant, so if you still want that let me know.

Certainly this 4 hour thing is just temporary? Because that certainly wouldn't give you enough time to do everything, it's almost like a scam to force people to visit the park two days instead of one.

 

[Kyria the Great]

It’s also crazy that characters that are confirmed money makers like Darth Vader, Boba Fett and Han Solo have so little merchandise available. Slap some Mandalorian logos on some shit and watch the cash roll in.

I think it is because they are trying to sell their own shitty characters, though to no avail.

 

[Vault Boy]

The Galaxy's Edge one takes it up a notch to make sure no one overstays their welcome as guests are only allowed within the park for a period of 4 hours. Guests are tracked via their IDs and data and when their times runs out a nu-trooper will show up and escort them out.

What the fuck. The price gouging and overall lameness wasn't enough, you also have to adhere to an asinine time limit?

I'm genuinely impressed by the lengths Disney & Lucasfilms are going through to make the park as disappointing as possible.

 

[millais]

I'll list the rest of the drinks in a moment if I have the time. And if you're all still interested, I haven't given details and reviews on all the food items at the Docking Bay restaurant, so if you still want that let me know.

Yes, please share more info on the food items.

 

[Adamska]

Yes, please share more info on the food items.

I too would love to learn more about soy chicken drowning in a lip numbing sauce or whatever trash they sell.

Literally every time @GeneralFriendliness posts about this park, I just am amazed at how ten year old me is a better park designer than them, and my Roller Coasters in Roller Coaster Tycoon were horrifying nausea traps that murdered people via G-forces. Literally every idea but Dok's Shop and arguably the Robot roaster store is done like shit.

Also fuck that 4 hour limit, it sounds like a limitation tactic designed to forge interest. Also fuck that saber roleplay. It'd make more sense if you had to run away at the end of the class if the person informs the first order guys. It'd cut down on the time nicely.

 

[Zaryiu]

Bob Iger strikes me as a dope with literally no vision beyond the dollar bill, the way he's always smiling like a jackass.

He inherited a too big to fail company with enough cash to buy things that were already popular, but that doesn't mean he's not an idiot who has any idea what he's doing.

He's the polar opposite of Walt Disney, no vision, "Disney" means nothing to him, it's just a business, it's just profit margins.

Walt was one of those 20th century tycoons that actually gave a shit about more than money, they wanted to try to steer mankind forward, they had goals beyond just "make a lot of money", they simply gave a shit.

Iger could give a shit whether you have a good time, the only thing he cares about is if he gets your cash, so of course you're going to get short shrifted with a subpar experience, why bother with the money and effort (no way that crap cost them a billion dollars, a lot of that money went elsewhere) when you can just exploit suckers instead? Hell many people these days are dumb enough to be pleased with anything, no matter how lame.

Do we have any info on those that are likely to replace Iger one day. Edit: I recommend making a text (or text with image files included) to make spreading the info @GeneralFriendliness is making (Thanks for your efforts btw)

 

[Jub-Jub]

Next is the most expensive drink(s). The Rancor Beer Flight costing 75 dollars with cups and holder.

This is the alcoholic Jet Juice.

Any sizes on these? The flight looks like 4 stubbys worth of beer max and the jet juice looks to be a shot or maybe a double shot. $75 for what looks to be 800ml to a 1L of beer, a cumbersome tray and cups... I thought I'd already seen the biggest gouge in the park, but this might take the cake.

I've also gotta wonder about why they didn't just rename existing cocktails or make slight modifications. For example instead of a tequila sunrise make a tatooine sunrise and if possible layer it twice in reference to two suns (although I'm not sure if that would work due to density).

The next scene with Jabba going “Han why did you shoot Greedo?!” Always made me think of Greedo as a young gun who was too overconfident in himself and prone to mistakes, not some experience gunman to fear.

REEEE added scenes. Greedo should have stayed who he originally was, an overconfident gunman to slow on the draw.

guests are only allowed within the park for a period of 4 hours

This guy is the lookout (his name is Ben...) who stands outside the store and breaks up the line when troopers show up. Enjoy your wait.

@RomanesEuntDomus already responded with my thoughts to these and you have answered as well, but i just want to reiterate... wut.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I think it is because they are trying to sell their own shitty characters, though to no avail.

I can imagine the scene in the marketing department. Some joyless asshat who used to work in a vacuum cleaner company before taking over this part of Disney's marketing goes "Why are people trying to buy toys from Dark Vader, this Obi-One geezer and the likes? They aren't in the movies, so why do they care about them? Rey has a lot of screentime, yet no one buys her dolls! How can this be?"

Also, maybe I just missed it, but is there any merch with Rose on it?

 

[Dom Cruise]

What the fuck. The price gouging and overall lameness wasn't enough, you also have to adhere to an asinine time limit?

I'm genuinely impressed by the lengths Disney & Lucasfilms are going through to make the park as disappointing as possible.

It's got to be without a doubt one of THE biggest disappointments in theme park history.

It's pure corporate ego that they think people would care more about their own shitty movies and characters instead of that of the OT.

Either that or don't own the full rights to the original characters as some have theorized, which make more sense, since would they really be that stupid?

Do we have any info on those that are likely to replace Iger one day. Edit: I recommend making a text (or text with image files included) to make spreading the info @GeneralFriendliness is making (Thanks for your efforts btw)

I've not heard anything about someone replacing Iger, though looking it up, he's 68, which is older than I thought, so there's a chance he could retire sooner than later.

 

[JohnDoe]

Wyświetl załącznik 813667
This is the Siren sipper. She costs 25 dollars. Straight from the titty.

The absolute arrogance of making this an actual product boggles the mind.

 

[gobbogobb]

Those 'medicinal herbs' look like a spring of rosemary to me.

 

[Jub-Jub]

Forgot to mention, Sabaac cards come dirty and pre-bent? That's what you want as a card collector bent cards, and that's what you want for gambling - easily identifiable cards from bends and dirt, can't think of a way to take advantage of that.

I've not heard anything about someone replacing Iger, though looking it up, he's 68, which is older than I thought, so there's a chance he could retire sooner than later.

There was rumor and speculation in 2017 that Iger wanted a POTUS run and was gearing up to challenge Trump in 2020. If the rumor had some truth to it then a 2024 run might still be on the cards.

 

[AmericFront]

 

[Jub-Jub]

Remember back when Mark Hamil was so stoked to return as Luke Skywalker? Fuck you Disney.

When asked if The Rise of the Skywalker would be his last Star Wars appearance, Hamill responded, “I sure hope so.” When pressed on why, Hamill elaborated, “Well, cause you know, I had closure in the last one, you know?” He then went on to spoil how his character will appear in The Rise of the Skywalker, “The fact that I’m involved in any capacity is only because of that peculiar aspect of the Star Wars mythology where if you are a Jedi, you get to comeback and make a curtain call as a Force Ghost.”

https://boundingintocomics.com/2019...l-be-his-last-star-wars-movie-i-sure-hope-so/ http://archive.is/YPmW5

 

[Creep3r]

Yes, please share more info on the food items.

Glad you like the info dumps.

Well here's the continuation on Cantina drinks/food and once that's done I'll cover the docking bay food and the minor things that weren't worth walls of text and are just randomly around the park.

This is the Carbon Freeze although the employees also call it the "I love you/I know" drink.

Its a non-alcoholic drink made from lemon-flavored powerade. The little balls are blue berries and green apple pieces. The flavor is just powerade. It has a very thin base but people don't spill it as much as the Bespin Fizz since this cup is at least more balanced while the Bespin Fizz is heavy on top and weak on the bottom. People like the way it bubbles apparently. Its obviously named after Han's freezing scene in ESB and according to park lore, this shit was "frozen in carbonite to give it that special zing". It costs 8 dollars.

This is the Blurrgfire and its the Cantina's "signature" drink and the one advertised most throughout the park.

Its some obscure brand of generic lemonade mixed with pomegranate juice to make it violet, but as an added bonus it has habanero lime mixed in to make it super spicy, hence why its name is fucking fire. It tastes like spicy lemonade. According to park lore, Blurrgfire is a kind of Juri Juice mixed with Spice. For those who might not know or remember, Spice is space cocaine and Juri Juice was an alcoholic beverage (the main one served in the Cantina in ANH) in pre-Disney canon that would sometimes be spiced up with blood, particularly Rodian blood (Greedo's species) and it was a popular drink in Chalmun's Cantina in ANH, but under Disney canon, juri juice is no longer alcoholic due to some minor internal damage control bs within nu-Lucasfilm's lore writers regarding pre-Disney lore which had Kabe (the little bat girl in ANH) being a lover of juri juice because the Cantina was a den of scum and villainy that didn't give a shit about drinking age so long as you could pay, so the new storyteam changed it so it wouldn't be alcoholic to be more family friendly and as an added precaution they changed it so Kabe was just drinking blue milk (despite the contents of her cup being orange) and that Juri Juice was the stuff being drunk by salt-addict Hem Dazon instead. Now Juri Juice isn't alcoholic but it has space cocaine instead... Anyway the name "Blurrg" comes from the giant two-legged reptiles from the Ewoks movies. The drink itself first appeared in Filoni's new Resistance cartoon, wherein its revealed that droids (even ones without mouths) can drink liquor and get drunk which causes them to become hyperactive and disobedient which Disney canon used as a way to explain why droids are banned from cantinas rather than good old fashioned prejudice, because droids can get drunk somehow and ruin your bar. Here's a clip. The droid is actually sipping it somehow... The drink costs 7 dollars.

This is the Hyperdrive (also called the Punch It).

Its a non-alcoholic drink made from Sprite, Berry Powerade, cranberries and black cherry puree which are the little bloody bits in there. It tastes like blue powerade but with a hint of sprite. You all obviously know what a hyperdrive is and what "Punch it" is a reference to. It costs 6 dollars.

This dissected oyster is called The Outer Rim.

Its an alcoholic drink made with Patrón Silver Tequila and Cedilla Acai Liqueur, lime juice, sugar cane, black salt and a fruit puree on top. In short, its a gooey margarita with black salt on one side of the glass's border. It should be fruity but most reviews say its not very sweet. The Outer Rim is the name referring to the "eastern" outer regions of the galaxy's edge (the galaxy's actual edge, not the park) and its where Tatooine and many other isolated planets are. The reason its topped off with salt is because salt is a drug to an alien species known as the Arcona which is Hem Dazon's species. In old lore, their eyes are normally green or purple, but when these hilarious dumb fuckers snort too much salt their eyes turn yellow. In Disney canon, salt is still a drug to them but what turns their eyes yellow now is Juri Juice. However your patrons are humans, so why put salt on the drink? It costs 16 dollars.

This is Overnight Oats.

Its oats, yogurt and berries. If this sounds familiar to you, that's because it is since this is the same dessert served in every part of the park, and no, there's no blue bantha ice cream. This is the only dessert in park aside from Oi Oi Puffs. When the park first opened, these things were served with a slice of star fruit, but now its only served with a kiwi on top cuz I guess they ran out maybe. It costs 7 dollars.

This is a Mustafarian Bread Roll. Its the same thing served at Docking Bay 7 as an entree but I didn't go into much detail about it before so here it is now.

Its a pastry topped with red icing and oreo bits. Park lore says its a Mustafarian recipe which are the aliens from the lava planet Anakin and Kenobi fought on and where in Disney canon Vader built his tuning fork tower to try and open the space anus. It costs 8 dollars.

This is the Black Spire Brew.

Its coffee mixed with passion fruit, falernum and honey. It has a lime inside it skewered with two grapes. It tastes like honey and coffee with a berry-ish flavor apparently. Its nowhere near as popular as the Spiran Caf (which I already mentioned before). Park lore says its named after the town the park is in which is called Black Spire Outpost, but to be more precise the town gets its name from "The Black Spire" which is a black rock spire in the middle of town. I can talk about that later if you want but its not exactly inspiring. From what promo concept said, it seemed like it was gonna be some sort of giant monolith kinda thing but its not, its just a rock next to Dok's store of antiques that's partly painted black and looks like all the other rocks, one thing of note is that park lore says that none of those things in the park are rocks, they're all actually ancient trees.

This is Oga's Obsession.

Its referred to as a provision. Its lemon jello with artificial cotton candy flavor, blueberries and pop rocks on top. Lore says its Oga's favorite dish. It costs 7.50.

This is Moogan tea.

Its chocolate milk, vanilla, and cinnamon that costs 7 dollars. Moogans are those green guys from Filoni Wars who tried to poison children with their tea. Poison your kids today!

Tarine Tea.

Its peach, huckleberry, and mint tea that costs 6.50. It has the same fruit on top as the Black Spire Brew. Tarine Tea first appeared in the Filoni Wars movie where General Loathsom served some to Kenobi. Tarin is the name of a star system from pre-Disney lore that was home to the primitive and dragon-like Tempestro species.

Next up is the main snack food of the bar, Batuu Bits.

Its a bowl made up mainly of spicy and salty foods, like wasabi peas, black bean habanero tortilla chips, dried fish, breadstick bits, candy and some weird bumpy looking things. Reviews seem mixed. Some say they liked the spicy food but hated the salty food, others say they hated the spicy but loved the salty, loved both, hated both or only liked one thing in particular. Its all varied, but people just shove it in their mouths without much thought as they take selfies. Honestly everyone at the cantina are just 20 somethings treating it like any other bar. It doesn't help that you're not allowed to play cards while in the bar or pretend you're a smuggler. You just sit there, drink, talk and take selfies with your gf, but don't kiss too much or you might be asked to leave since the employees watch you like a hawk. There's no lore tied to this. It costs 8 dollars.

I think I've covered almost everything except the shit on tap (although almost everything's on tap) that comes in regular shot cups and the regular drinks which don't have a unique look to them. Also here's a tap with freaking porgs on it.

Spice Runner Hard Cider is obviously a cider and its named after spice smugglers. It costs 11 dollars.

There's two wines called Toniray and Imperial Guard. The imperial guards are the dudes in red from ROTJ and Toniray is the name of some wine from the Doctor Aphra comics and the Bloodline book... Toniray costs 12 dollars and Imperial Guard costs 16.

And here are the regular drinks with no alien name: Apple juice, Double Espresso, Cappuccino, Orange Juice and a Latte.
They all cost 5 bucks except the espresso which is 4.

Finally, a few of the drinks come with a free coaster.

The one on the right says Oga's Cantina, the one on the left says T-16 Skyhopper and has a gryphon on it for some reason which I guess is a reference to Filoni's light side goddess who could turn into a gryphon, although I'm not sure what that has to do with the skyhopper.

And here's the Ewok one which says Yub Nub.

And with that we're done with the cantina. All that's left to cover is random shit, the comic, things I might have missed or forgotten or things that I need to update.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Remember back when Mark Hamil was so stoked to return as Luke Skywalker? Fuck you Disney.


https://boundingintocomics.com/2019...l-be-his-last-star-wars-movie-i-sure-hope-so/ http://archive.li/YPmW5

Oh boy did Disney break Mark Hamill’s spirit hard. All he ever gave a damn about was being with Harrison and Carrie together. Not for the money like Bobby.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

Jesus Christ the non-alcoholic drinks are as expensive as I would expect alcoholic drinks to be at a club.

 

[millais]

They all look rather poorly made and not much in the way of presentation, like someone threw a bunch of fruit, ice, and juice into a blender and then emptied the resultant homogenized sludge into a quirky shaped glass, expecting the glass to carry the weight of making a good visual impression. The only one that looks remotely like a science-fiction beverage to me is that "jello in a bowl" thing, at least it looks rather alien compared to the rest where it either looks like a conventional drink or you can even ID the individual ingredients by sight.

And what's with so many of these drinks using Powerade as an ingredient? It just sounds trashy to put that stuff in a drink that is 15+ dollars.