How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Core Theorist]

I am weak and I must become stronger.

 

[Mr.Bucket]

I'm drunk and need a hug.

Who wants to hug a drunk Kentuckian?

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I'm drunk and need a hug.

Who wants to hug a drunk Kentuckian?

Bring it in brother.

 

[The Feline Solution 2]

Insomnia is back with a vengeance. Slept maybe three hours without hitting deep sleep at all, now woke up an hour before my alarm. I don't feel that destroyed, though, body and mind must've gotten used to it somewhat.

Stress and anxiety can really mess up your sleep.

Definitely the case for me regarding stress. This month my menu is full of bullshit, money is tight, got, most likely, an operation coming up that i've been putting off for about two years by now, money is tight etc. and the first thing that went, as usual, is my sleep.

My younger brother is also making some, in my eyes, big mistakes in his young life right now and it stresses me the fuck out, too. Mistakes i couldn't steer him away from and mistakes who are bordering life altering territory but now shit's too late to change. Texted me yesterday that he's in Denmark (we are German and his girlfriend is decidedly not Danish) and married his immigrant girlfriend on paper in some, again in my eyes, hare-brained scheme for her to be able to get to stay in the EU. It's all way too convoluted, goes much deeper than just the marriage and frankly, is too retarded to go into further. He is not that young anymore that i could just tell him what to do, can only shake my head at it and wait for the eventual fallout right now.

 

[Halo Cipher]

. Hope the hunt is over, dating is fucking rough and exhausting.

Made the motherfucker soup and he said “You’re everything I want in a partner from your appearance to your heart but I just don’t know if I can ever feel love again because I’m sooo damaged, I promise to be in your corner forever though because you’re amazing”

Goddddd i wanted to waterboard him with liquid butternut until he expired. I am so tired. I’ve heard this from so many men. If you’re so damaged then stop dating? If I’m so cool then get over yourself and do what you need to do to measure up? Retards. I don’t understand this line of thinking.

Wading through oceans of tap and gap losers and assholes that want the comfort of my sunshine for minimal effort. I make so many of them feel insecure because I’m not afraid to ask for what I want at this point. Absolutely ridiculous. All I’m asking for is one person to fuck regularly and be close with, i don’t even want to cohabit with anyone ever again. I’ve given up on marriage and children so that’s nothing to scare someone off. I don’t get it. Everything is so shallow and transactional and low effort. I’m not built for this shit, dude. Fuck.

 

[bourne-again]

I am so over this strange phenomenon of other female students in CS holding me to a standard that they don't apply to our male peers in a pathetic attempt to maintain some control in this nonsensical hierarchy. This is becoming more common as I get further into my degree. In the intro programming courses, I had no issues making female friends. I'm super autistic and more aggressive than the average woman I guess. If someone is being an rude or obnoxious, I will call them retarded. A lot of women don't like this, think I'm being mean, and will tell me not to say that word because it's "ableist." I tell them "I don't care. We both know the men do/say way worse, so don't hold me to a standard you won't enforce on them." They then behave like I shot their dog, and I've even gotten kicked out of a few groupchats made for our courses if any of them are modding it. One time it caused an uproar; the two girls modding the chat had an aneurysm because the men didn't understand what was wrong about the word "retard", and the pickmes were at a moral dilemma: Do they stand their ground or be good pickmes and not argue with their male overlords?

They'll engage in passive aggressive behavior; ignoring me while only reacting to male students, unable to identify banter between me and someone else then join in thinking I'm genuinely being insulted by a friend, attempt to socially ostracize me, etc (to the point where other students notice this). They fucking suck at this though. I get away with calling people retards because I make myself useful. I'm very outgoing because I love what I study, so I try to tutor classmates and help others when they need it. I offer emotional support when appropriate, am very open about failing exams so others feel less shame. I'm not out here acting like some retarded rabid animal 24/7.

I've gotten videos on my feed that claim insecure women hate confident women, and I'm thinking maybe that's it? I learned how to do makeup last year, typically wear crop tops and whatnot (I've always liked indie sleaze and Megan Fox's look in Jennifer's Body and finally bit the bullet to style myself more) and have a very "I'll do what I want and get what I want because I work for it" attitude. I'm not sure how things would've gone if I didn't do this, but I sometimes wonder if my newfound confidence is a contributing factor.

And the men aren't perfect either, I've been sexually harassed, stalked, whatever. But oddly enough it's always my male peers that were extremely supportive and offering to walk me to the Title IX office to file a report, male professors letting me hide in their offices for an hour until certain people left the building, male classmates coming to campus to literally sit there and do their homework next to me because I kept getting bothered by randoms (or thwarting this specific guy who was stalking me). I never had one female student in the CS program offer to do anything. My girl friends outside of school were obviously super supportive and sweet, but 99% of the women in my own program just act like I'm Hitler or something.

Ok, thanks for reading if you did! Had to get this off my chest because I just had some situation where I was giving students advice about a problem they were having and one female student was purposefully ignoring me and only reacting to whatever the male students said. It's just getting ridiculous and silly.

 

[Nameless One]

I am weak and I must become stronger.

Hit the gym brah

 

[Core Theorist]

Hit the gym brah

I was mostly talking emotionally but that too.

 

[Quijibo69]

We are extra short handed at work. There's only three people and we should have at least two or three times that!

 

[Nameless One]

I was mostly talking emotionally but that too.

You will grow.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Welp, I am fired. Should've sucked ass, but nope, fuck those people, even if I die starving on the street when my rainy day fund is kill. I love how they said some good-old "threat people like you would threat yourself". Almost had me replying "welp, try it then, unless all you do is screaming and blaming yourself". I wasn't the best employee, but they were the shittiest bosses I've ever had, that's for sure.

At least, I can have some peace before I start job surfing.

 

[Otterly]

Retards. I don’t understand this line of thinking.

Urgh, that sucks. It’s a way of displacing blame away from themselves. It’s not you it’s me (but actually it’s you) kind of thing. It’s just lack of responsibility for what he will inevitably do next. Waterboard him with the dishwater though, don’t waste a good soup.
I could have saved myself a lot of heartache in my life by admitting to myself that pretty much everyone I’ve ever liked just wasn’t that into me. O should have been a lot more clear eyed. Unless a bloke is actively chasing you, he’s not interested.
You actually produce similar brain chemistry during the flush of infatuation than you do with a starting cocaine habit. It makes judgement difficult.

i don’t even want to cohabit with anyone ever again. I’ve given up on marriage and children so that’s nothing to scare someone off.

Do you want those things? The more serious type of chap generally does. Consider that by actively saying you don’t want them you signal to a different type. And if you genuinely don’t want them that is fine, but .. make sure you really don’t, not you just want to be low maintenance. I have been very low maintenance my entire life and it just leads to you being treated poorly IMO. If you’re sunny and capable and nice and not wanting to be demanding, you can end up pretty unhappy in a relationship because gradually you give up more and more of yourself. You barely even notice it happening, you’re just not wanting to make a fuss and then one day you realise you died ten years ago.
Don’t give up on what you really want. Express it and don’t chase men. If I’d listened to that advice thirty years ago I’d be much happier now

 

[Whitney Houston On Crack]

So, I'm following up on this post:

Opublikuj w wątku „so how was your weekend"

21 Cze 2026

I went on three different dates with three different women. It's almost like some shitty TLC reality show come to life. One is schizophrenic, but controlling it with pills, the other is clinically depressed with insane daddy issues and zero self-esteem, and the last one was 240lbs, but cut back to 120lbs way too fast and now her skin is sagging everywhere. She also doesn't seem to like me all that much.

Rational thinking would tell me to cease all communication with them and try to find a normal woman, but unfortunately the dating market in 2026 is very, very, extremely bleak and it seems...

• Whitney Houston On Crack

Reakcje: x 13 x 12 x 2 x 3 x 2 x 1 x 1 x 1 x 1 x 4 x 3 x 3

As requested by @Philipp Amthor

- I went on a second date with daddy issue girl with low self esteem. Long story short, she trauma dumped the entire time. She is a very good girl, but God damn, her father leaving did a number on her. Her high school sweetheart also left her for "some whore", so that totally fucked her up even more. She feels almost unworthy of love and is maybe also a little autistic. I tried my best to make her feel better. She is genuinely a good person, talented and even good looking to some extent. She might be the one, but she is a MASSIVE project. At the end of the date, I walked her home, she hugged me and said "Oh, Whitney Houston On Crack, I'm having so much fun, you are such a good guy". I decided not to make a move and just pecked her on the cheek. We'll be definitely going to go out again, but I'm afraid, that if I do not pursue a long-term relationship with her, I might fuck her up even more, and I genuinely don't want to break her heart.

- Formerly fat, now sagging girl, soft ghosted me and cooled off. I think that I'm completely done with her. Wish her all the best in her future endeavors.

- It turns out that schizophrenic girl worked for my mom for a few months, when she was just out of high school (and not yet schizophrenic). It also turns out that my mom and her mom are friends. So naturally, the most fucking embarassing thing happened. My mom called to invite me to dinner, and my stupid ass went, thinking that I was going to eat at my parents place, take some leftovers for home and that that would be that. So I go to my parents house and around the table I see my mom, my dad, schizophrenic girl, her mom and her dad. My second date with her was a fucking Victorian inter-clan hoity toity almost marriage arrangement deal. The worst part? Her parents fucking LOVED ME. Her mom invited our family to a beach holiday on her dime. I'm basically fucked here, lads. The girl is nice, absolutely gorgeous, looks wise she is probably out of my league even, we are talking fashion model hot, but God damn it, ever since I was 14, every man I ever respected told me to never put my dick in crazy.

I would genuinely want to know if paranoid schizophrenia could be effectively controlled by pills. Please, if a medfag is reading this, please enlighten me, I also want to know if that shit is hereditary. As far as I know, she had some king of a Terry Davis episode when she was studying in the Netherlands about seven or eight years ago. She was convinced that some type of glownigger Arabs that lived in walls were trying to kidnap her and were tapping her phone. I don't know what kind of pills is she talking, but she has been "normal" since then. (Also, despite Dutch wall Arabs kidnapping college girls, sounding AWFULLY PLAUSIBLE, it was determined that no such arabs existed.)

- And now the final kicker. A girl with who I went on exactly one date in 2024, we'll call her "great tits girl", texted me to say that she was coming to my city for some work conference type of deal and asked me for directions to the hotel. Me, being free on that day and also being a Supreme Gentleman™, offered to take her directly to the hotel and check her in. We had a bite to eat, a nice conversation in the car, I brought her luggage to the hotel room, I saw that she was reacting positively and willingly, and we were in a fucking hotel room, so I decided to try my luck, and got on my Sean Connery From Russia With Love shit. We made out and I got her super soaking wet, but then she said "I'm sorry, Whitney Houston On Crack. We really shouldn't. I'm still a virgin and I'm saving myself for marriage." So, at the end, we did absolutely nothing beyond that, and I went home with blue balls. She left town two days later, and now I'm probably not going to see her again in person for another two or three years, probably.

SO WHAT'S NEXT?

- Perhaps another date with low self-esteem girl.

- Perhaps a beach holiday with schizophrenic girl and her family.

I have never seen this amount of female attention ever in my life. Not from normal women, unfortunately, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

 

[Troon Petty and the 41ers]

Sweetwater guys love calling you up. Unfortunately for them, I think my rig is basically complete. 16-year-old me would find that incomprehensible.

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

Sweetwater guys love calling you up. Unfortunately for them, I think my rig is basically complete. 16-year-old me would find that incomprehensible.

My wife refused to eat any of the candy from my latest sweetwater purchase last month. "What if it's poisoned?" she said.

 

[PetiteFeet]

- I went on a second date with daddy issue girl with low self esteem. Long story short, she trauma dumped the entire time. She is a very good girl, but God damn, her father leaving did a number on her. Her high school sweetheart also left her for "some whore", so that totally fucked her up even more. She feels almost unworthy of love and is maybe also a little autistic. I tried my best to make her feel better. She is genuinely a good person, talented and even good looking to some extent. She might be the one, but she is a MASSIVE project. At the end of the date, I walked her home, she hugged me and said "Oh, Whitney Houston On Crack, I'm having so much fun, you are such a good guy". I decided not to make a move and just pecked her on the cheek. We'll be definitely going to go out again, but I'm afraid, that if I do not pursue a long-term relationship with her, I might fuck her up even more, and I genuinely don't want to break her heart.

You're gonna break her heart almost no matter what you do, unless you genuinely plan to never, ever give her up. Maybe I'm projecting onto Low Self Esteem Girl. No, no maybe. I am.
But to put it out there, you cannot save the world and not every person is your responsibility. You can let her down nicely, and it sounds like you did right by her, as well as you could for a second date anyway.

- It turns out that schizophrenic girl worked for my mom for a few months, when she was just out of high school (and not yet schizophrenic). It also turns out that my mom and her mom are friends. So naturally, the most fucking embarassing thing happened. My mom called to invite me to dinner, and my stupid ass went, thinking that I was going to eat at my parents place, take some leftovers for home and that that would be that. So I go to my parents house and around the table I see my mom, my dad, schizophrenic girl, her mom and her dad. My second date with her was a fucking Victorian inter-clan hoity toity almost marriage arrangement deal. The worst part? Her parents fucking LOVED ME. Her mom invited our family to a beach holiday on her dime. I'm basically fucked here, lads. The girl is nice, absolutely gorgeous, looks wise she is probably out of my league even, we are talking fashion model hot, but God damn it, ever since I was 14, every man I ever respected told me to never put my dick in crazy.

Sounds like you're in, whether you want to or not. They're conspiring against you and you have been betrothed. Sold off to the highest bidder.

And yes, schizophrenia runs in the genes. I won't and cannot tell you the chances for it, or how it manifests or if it gets worse for your potential children. Some schizophrenia is manageable. Some isn't. It also depends on the person and whether or not they actually want to take their meds. Anecdotally, I had a neighbour who spent a month at the 'ward to get properly medicated and when he came back, he was a fucking zombie. Whether that is preferable to him talking to my dog about being able to see beyond "the veil", idk. Poor chap. He was a good looking guy, too. Just utterly, utterly mindbroken in his 20's.
Schizophrenia typically manifests in your 20's and it's not even certain that you'll feel the full force of it ever, it depends on a lot of variables including but not limited to weed psychosis. IANAD, just someone who used to live in a group home with other diagnoses.
Not all schizos are Terry Davis or my neighbour-tier loons, majority of them are regular people so not sticking your dick in crazy is prrrooobbably not a thing here, if she's managing her diagnosis. It also sounds like she has a stable family who cares for her, so IF she were to have a psychosis they might not "allow" her to go full schizo again without intervention.

Personally I would bet on Low Self Esteem Girl, but a beach holiday doesn't sound bad either.
What a pickle.

Flip a coin?

 

[Whitney Houston On Crack]

Flip a coin?

I'll probably do both. If the holiday indeed happens, I'll try to have a serious one-on-one conversation with her dad. He seems like a very good man with a decent head on his shoulders, and he'll probably understand my initial reservations.

As for the next date with low self-esteem girl, I'll let her choose the spot and the activity. But after that, I should probably have a serious conversation with her too.

 

[Maid Maple Ying]

Cosplay day bloody tired what out bloody hood with hear hid its head letting I.m cooked… bit lay down doing ok for now….