Women who quit dating and are single , what are your reasons?

[Disgruntled Pupper]

I grew up severely undersocialized and basically lived the NEET life (except I actually was in school) until I graduated college. Since then, I've lived a very itinerate life. To top it all off, I've found that any man interested in me is only that way in order to use me for sex, and they will go to the most vile and depraved lengths to try to meet that goal. It's absolutely soul crushing. Any decent man I've encountered has made it very clear I have no worth, and that they may consider me, maybe, if they're rejected by the other women they've been orbiting and I sufficiently humiliate myself by aggressively throwing myself at them, despite them treating me like shit. So yeah.

Many western men are able to keep their shitfuckery under wraps until the person they are dating is hooked and slowly turn up the abuse/ gaslighting and general drama like boiling frog.

By the time a woman realizes she got a raw deal she might be a decade in a marriage with two kids.

Here's a fun little anecdote- the last guy my age who started funny buissness with me was someone I knew for two years at that point, considered a friend, and who I was trying to console through the loss of his father 4 months previously. He was incredibly close with his father, I remember when we worked together he called his dad almost every day, and I know that he genuinely loved his dad. That didn't stop him from basically turning the growth in our relationship, stemming from his loss and my efforts to be gentle with him and a light and fun friend in his life, into trying to wring nudes from me. How can a man that I do truly believe loved his dad essentially use his death to sexually toy with a woman he had an established bond with? Who knows, personally I think it's because men don't really have souls or are capable of real love. But it was horrifying and terrifying and sad and it broke my heart.

 

[Chester Copperpot]

I'm close to 50 and work full time with two kids, so I don't have much time for dating, plus I get the impression the demand for middle aged women is pretty sparse. I've also been single for over a decade now, and so I honestly feel like I don't really know how to do the dating and being physical with another human thing anymore.

But I'm taking some long service next year, so hoping to have a bit more time and energy to blow off the cobwebs and meet some new people.

 

[crazedaze]

the demand for middle aged women is pretty sparse.

Not at all, my 54 year old friend is dating and gets lots of opportunity. The demand from youthdiggers is sparse but noone wants them

 

[byron]

My ex tried to choke me, completely unprovoked because he thought I'd like it.

Stuff like this never ceases to amaze me. Are they so fucking retarded that they need someone to explain to them that sex does not make someone suddenly want to be choked?

Randomly starting to choke someone (really choke them, not play-choking) means he is either a psycho or a retard.

In the case of a retard, I can explain to you, if you're interested, the specific problem he was trying to solve ...even though I know that my words will fall on deaf ears.

The problem is twofold:

First, most women resolutely refuse to tell you what they're into. If you ask a general question, "what kind of stuff do you like" then you get a nonsense answer because they don't want to seem weird.

If you ask a specific question, like "do you like to be choked" they will either answer "no" because they don't want to seem weird, or (worse) answer "yes" because they think you're asking because you're into it, and they want to do whatever you want ...which is super nice of them, but not helpful because...

The second part of the problem - and the real crux of the problem - is that if you don't figure out what your girl is into, she 100% gets bored and leaves you (or cheats) looking for a man who will give her what she wants ...but apparently will not say out-loud.

And this is complicated by the fact that some women do actually want a psycho. Hybristophilia is real.

But I assume your ex wasn't a psycho, which means he's a retard. He's trying to solve the problem described above, but sadly is totally retarded.

...of course, it's equally retarded to tell him that he should ask first. Neither a "yes" or a "no" can be trusted. And it's retarded to tell him to just never do it, and just accept that women will get bored and break up with him for not doing a thing that he is perfectly willing to do if you want him to do it.

There is a solution to this problem, but it can't be told to women - especially women who couldn't figure out all of the above on their own.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I used to date a lot and was good at it. Less good at picking good ones for relationships. And when I tried settling, I picked even worse and ruined my life. I've paid and am still paying the price of bad choices.

I've resolved my internal issues in that regard - and funnily enough having my head on straight makes me unmotivated to date. Go figure. Plus I'm busy and making up for lost time, peace, and money, and my kids are hitting some bumps in the road so that's where my interests lie.

That's literally it. I have no idea why I used to spend so much time dating. Or how. I was divorced with kids that before they were in middle school were close to 50-50 time, so I had some evenings free (I literally never hired a sitter their entire lives. I only had them half the time, no way. Their dad used a sitter so much I begged him to just let them stay with me if he was going to go out. But he was spiteful.). But I also worked a lot and under stress, was very involved in kid things, read 25-50 quality books/year, went out sometimes with friends, travel, sport, hobbies, took care of a big house with a big lot and tons of gardens, was creative, sat on at least one nonprofit board and professional committees always, and dated a couple of times a week. Insanity.


I do have an exceptionally hot (and brilliant, fit, clean, serious, world-traveled, highly educated, professionally employed) friend of several years who is far too young for me as anything but a friend but literally the only person I've even lightly flirted with in 2 years, and tbh I steer conversations away from even that in recent times. But he does send me pics from his travels, and the occasional photo looking handsome and cozy and cool in a turtleneck sweater drinking coffee or something, so that's nice. ...OK I got a shirtless gym locker room pic the other day, and I'm not complaining.

 

[Hubelublub]

<Absolutely insane autism>

Men try to choke women when they're not sure what ladies like in bed.

Ladies, WHY are you single??? WHAT are your reasons??? Please unlock this MYSTERY!!!

 

[2mm and 99 others]

If you ask a specific question, like "do you like to be choked" they will either answer "no" because they don't want to seem weird, or (worse) answer "yes" because they think you're asking because you're into it, and they want to do whatever you want ...which is super nice of them, but not helpful because...

WHY is the question of strangling even on the table, and what's the point of strangling an other person? Why would you do that?

Look for a book named along the lines ''A guide to happy marriage'', that describes things that mum and dad do when they very much love each other and your parents likely have or had in their library - do you think such a practice is described there?

 

[Vibromatic Heart Bed]

Dating is stressful and I'm not good at it, so there's no motivation for me to keep doing it.

Over a period of over 10 years, I feel like I gave it a good try. I met guys through dating apps, mutual friends and hobbies. I experienced pretty much every type of dating failure: getting stood up, ghosted, SA'd, breadcrumbed, hilariously bad dates, all of it. Each time I took accountability for own actions, did lots of self-reflection and tried to learn from my experiences. I went into each new 'relationship' with optimism and a clean slate. And every single time, men would just find new ways to disappoint and traumatize me.

My last dating experience wasn't even that bad, but it took up enough of my mental energy and distracted me from my work and my hobbies, so I just decided that enough is enough.

My time on this earth is limited, and I want to spend my life doing things I enjoy. Dating isn't one of them.

I'm grateful my friends and family accept me as the loner I am, nobody pressures me or makes me feel less than.

 

[crazedaze]

what's the point of strangling an other person?

Same thread. Jesus fuck.
The reason is moids are psycho.

 

[The Crack Spiders Bitch]

First, most men resolutely refuse to tell you what they're into because it's usually fucked up and most women will run a mile. If you ask a general question, "what kind of stuff do you like" then you get a nonsense answer because they don't want you to know the true depths of their depravity.

Yep, agreed.
In addition, men are shit at communicating which is why I am extremely confused that they don't like it when I stomp on their balls.

If I ask a specific question like "can I destroy your nutsack with my foot?" they will either answer "no" because they don't want to seem weird, or (worse) answer "yes" because they think I'm asking because I'm into it, and they want to do whatever I want ...which is super nice of them, but not helpful to me because I then have an obligation to obliterate their scrotum.

FFS I am so tired of men and their mixed messages.

 

[Perun]

WHY is the question of strangling even on the table, and what's the point of strangling an other person? Why would you do that?

Look for a book named along the lines ''A guide to happy marriage'', that describes things that mum and dad do when they very much love each other and your parents likely have or had in their library - do you think such a practice is described there?

women use it as a form of self harm and retarded moids that pick traumatised women think it's hot to cause them brain damage, what's sexier than making your gf too fucked up, both physically and mentally, to leave?

 

[murmurbee]

We can’t keep propagating the genetics of geeks, nerds, urbanites, goons, spergs, and internet fags. The impossible love quest is finding a non-dysgenic boyfriend-free boy who lives under a rock and works with his hands out in the country but isn’t completely slow in the mind or on meth.

 

[byron]

lol as I predicted, my words fall on deaf ears.

Men try to choke women when they're not sure what ladies like in bed.

that's not what I said.

What I said (and I'm right) is that (a) women don't communicate their kink preferences honestly and (b) if you don't guess correctly, they leave you or cheat.

And you're not being honest either. If you were honest, then you would respond to (a) and/or (b). Instead, you dishonestly twist it into "I'm not sure so I'm gonna choke her out" ...even after I said that was retarded. I said her ex was retarded. I said it was retarded, and you still managed to hear "it's acceptable"

Deaf ears. You have deaf ears. It's sad.

WHY is the question of strangling even on the table

Great point. Why do so many women fantasize about sexual violence? I'm not judging you for it - my only interest is making any woman who wants to be with me happy and satisfied. If she tells me that she wants something, I try to deliver it in a safe way.

Are you not understanding my point?

men are shit at communicating which is why I am extremely confused that they don't like it when I stomp on their balls.

You think that you're so clever, but what you just said is identical to what Cringe Poster said her ex did to her AND I CALLED HER EX A RETARD

So it's like, inside your own head, you imagine that you have this clever, cutting sarcasm that mirrors my point ...but it doesn't. What you just said doesn't mirror my point at all. It mirrors something that I called retarded.

Deaf ears! None of you is capable of hearing and thinking.

 

[Hubelublub]

every woman has deaf ears. It's so strange that they all have this malady with me. VERY strange.

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

What I said (and I'm right) is that (a) women don't communicate their kink preferences honestly and (b) if you don't guess correctly, they leave you or cheat.

Are you retarded? You shouldn't indulge in kinks that give the other person brain damage. Don't date people who are using you as a proxy for self harm, dumbass. That's how you end up in court telling the judge she asked for it.

 

[2mm and 99 others]

The only other situation when you strangle someone, is when you wanna fuckin' murder them.
And no, it wasn't a thing in my teen years - it's not like I dated even back then, but it wasn't a thing in teen and women's magazines and forums either, the only more known source a normie would learn about (auto)erotic asphyxation, was that Chuck Palahniuk's short story about the gutless man spread in the form of creepypasta, and that was supposed to serve as a cautionary tale, because it is about death and shame.
If a girl says yes to that, it's most likely because she's self hating and manipulated enough to think it's a today's norm and she will never keep any relationship, if she doesn't agree.

An inherent nature of a kink is, that it's a, well, kink. It's in the word itself, that it's not a norm (and shouldn't be).

 

[byron]

You shouldn't indulge in kinks that give the other person brain damage.

fallacy of the excluded middle.

I acknowledge that some women like to be choked. You imagine that I'm talking about making them pass out. You never even consider that some women might enjoy something lighter.

At any rate, (1) I'm not into it. I suppose most of you here are too dense to understand that someone can explain a thing without advocating for it - like if I explain why people do fentanyl, most of you here are going to reply, "no!!! you shouldn't do fentanyl!!!"

(2) the point isn't the specific kink. The point is about communication of kinks. Choking is just an example. If it makes you feel better, substitute any other one of your choosing. Here's a list:



Note that choking is above the 40% ... with 2-3x as many women liking it than men. So a safe bet is more than 50% of women like to be choked (again - the light kind of choking, not the kind that makes you pass out).

My point stands, and is in two parts: (a) a lot of women don't verbally communicate their kinks (b) if you don't figure out what they want, they get bored.

I will be amazed if anyone here ever addresses (a) or (b) in a substantive way.

Note that since (a) is about women, saying "mEN dO tHiS tOO!!!!" is not substantive. I have not denied that men do it. I don't have experience dating men so I wouldn't know. If you ever see me complaining that my ex did something I didn't expect/didn't like, then feel free to tell me (what is undoubtedly true) that a lot of men like that, and she was trying to see if I do too.

Also remember to call her retarded, just like how I called the dude who did a surprise choke retarded.

And again, I'm sure that all of this is still falling on deaf ears, but the last sentence of my first comment is kind of important.

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

I acknowledge that some women like to be choked. You imagine that I'm talking about making them pass out. You never even consider that some women might enjoy something lighter.

At any rate, (1) I'm not into it. I suppose most of you here are too dense to understand that someone can explain a thing without advocating for it - like if I explain why people do fentanyl, most of you here are going to reply, "no!!! you shouldn't do fentanyl!!!"

(2) the point isn't the specific kink. The point is about communication of kinks. Choking is just an example. If it makes you feel better, substitute any other one of your choosing. Here's a list:

No, you are obviously mentally deficient so I will explain it in purely utilitarian terms.

Communication doesn't matter here. Even if someone tells you to lightly choke or cut them, you don't do it. If someone asks you to do drugs or crimes with them, don't do it. Just because a mentally ill woman asks you to do something nicely doesn't mean that you should do it. "She told me to do it" does not fly in front of the cops & the court. Gooning is not worth your freedom, career and financial stability. If not chocking her out makes her break up with you, you just dodged a fucking bullet. This is basic shit.

 

[2mm and 99 others]

Look, if you ask her if she likes to be strangled, the question itself already strongly implies you are into it, and it sounds scary and creepy.
If she is really into strangling that much so not getting it would be a relationship deal breaker, she would ask for it outright herself, unprompted. And you shouldn't.

 

[byron]

if someone tells you to lightly choke or cut them, you don't do it.

Okay. I can respect your position, but I disagree. There is nothing wrong with light choking, and if your girl is into it, and you like her, you should accommodate it in a safe way.

But you're still going off-track by exaggerating here:

If not chocking her out makes her break up with you, you just dodged a fucking bullet.

Emphasis mine to highlight where you're off track.

In the comment I posted above, there's a source with n=39,000 people. It shows that more than half of women like to be choked.

You, inside of your own head, and with no connection to reality changed "like to be choked" into "choking her out."

So now I ask you, does it seem reasonable to you that more than half of women like to be "choked out" - or does it seem more reasonable to you that more than half of women like to be lightly choked but still breathing?

How many women will you date in your entire life? Do you seriously believe that half (or more) of them like to be rendered unconscious through violent choking?? In my opinion, that just makes you sound crazy.

But it's exactly that kind of craziness that makes it difficult to have this conversation with the lot of you here. *I* have a source showing more than 50% of women enjoy this thing. But several of you here in this thread IMAGINE that I'm describing something very different.

I mean, look at this other comment:

Look, if you ask her if she likes to be strangled, the question itself already strongly implies you are into it

See that? changed "choking" into fucking "strangulation"

...oh and bonus irrationality! Telling me something that I LITERALLY ADDRESSED IN MY FIRST COMMENT!!! Here, I'll quote it again, with emphasis:

If you ask a specific question, like "do you like to be choked" they will either answer "no" because they don't want to seem weird, or (worse) answer "yes" because they think you're asking because you're into it, and they want to do whatever you want ...which is super nice of them, but not helpful

LOOK 2mm and 99 others. LOOK AT THAT. I said thing. Then you come along and you say thing as if it's disagreement! You also alter the subject "choking" by turning it into "strangulation"

I have to tell you, I hope that I never act the way you people here are acting when I have a conversation with someone! This is crazy shit. It's not at all rational.