TRYING MY FIRST POKE BOWL & VANITY MAKEOVER | 12.6.2020 - Lynnmas- Muh Mental Health Edition ft. totally real comments and bowled sushi

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It's just a fucking shame she's had to go and do this to herself. I had a peek back at some of her 2013-14 videos and she looks like a skinny legend compared to the porkzilla she's grown into now. I think I started watching her videos in 2016, but even then, I didn't imagine her life would become such a morbid shitshow. Well done, gorl. You've really made a life for yourself, huh? A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. If she ever got back down to even this size without death and decomposition, I'd be fucking amazed.
 
I’m beginning to suspect that the only “trauma” Amber experienced was having to be in foster care. I know we’ve all speculated sexual abuse, dysfunctional family, sad kid woes and all that but I’m going to toss a new theory into the pile.

Some people are just shitty and would be shitty regardless of how/where they grew up. 1% of the population is estimated to be psychopathic, so it stands to reason that Amber could just be in that 1%.

Amber has been fat all her life, even when she lives with her family. She got fatter after leaving her family because she stole food when it was denied to her, ate Girl Scout cookies she was supposed to give to other people, and leeched off the kindness of others who felt sorry for her. I guarantee that double-handjob story she tells ends with a large popcorn and a box of milk duds. She bounced between her sped girlfriends’ homes—some still living with their parents, and saw nothing wrong with living with them and mooching her way to 500lbs. She found out she could sit online and perpetuate a fake identity to a bunch of people that she was “struggling” with weight loss and has essentially whored herself out as a circus freak since that point, taking in the coin and teetering between 450-600lbs.

Amber isn’t traumatized by anything. Amber doesn’t possess the ability to understand empathy. Amber was not a sad child in foster care. If anything she saw it as advantageous because when people feel sorry for you, they give you stuff. That is the only lesson Amber learned as a child.

That’s why we have the cycle and that’s why she keeps reusing words like “traumatized,” “fatphobia,” and “anxiety.” She knows there are people out there that these words affect because she watches how people respond to other Youtubers. That’s why she gets big mad when no one gives her juicy clicks or mad sponsors for saying all the right words. It’s what supposed to happen—it is known, Kaleesi.

Amber doesn’t have childhood trauma. I have worked on cases with traumatized children/adults, and I know traumatized adults who had rougher childhood than Amber who weren’t in foster care. I know personal evidence doesn’t equal objective fact, however I am just saying from this experience that none of these people talk this way. None of them say “I was traumatized” the same way you order a Big Mac; they never even say the word if they can help it. They don’t candidly discuss their issues because they’ve either been conditioned to never discuss them, or it’s a point of shame or sadness they’d rather not continue to explain. The only people that hear about it are maybe a handful of people they trust and someone with a PH.D behind their name. They don’t talk about emotional flashbacks with flippant acceptance like Amber; if anything they try to deny that it has anything to do with their personal demons and will turn themselves into human lab rats in an effort to rule out every physical possibility that their problem is related.

Amber isn’t them. There is no trauma. There was never trauma. But Amber knows that saying “trauma” makes people not think she’s just a shitty person because she’s shit. Thank you for coming to my Sped Talk
She has always been rotten. She didn't even have any childhood friends and she tells two different stories depending on her mood at the moment. Either "I was traumatized by my awful childhood and I'm the ultimate victim" or "Golden child, vip of the elementary school soccer team, writing award winning dance routines and giving all the boys cheeky hand jobs". But the one thing she never mentions is friends, except for one girl who of course snubbed her aka got sick of Amber's toxic ass.
 
I'm being WAY more optimistic: like Big Al managing to get down to 105 pounds or thereabouts, consistent with a normal weight and BMI for her height. I know this is complete bullshit and she probably weighed 105 pounds by the time she was six, but as long as we're in fantasyland, we may as well go all the way.

I know you just said this was fantasyland but I doubt she could ever get down to 105, all that loose skin would weigh a shitton.
 
I know you just said this was fantasyland but I doubt she could ever get down to 105, all that loose skin would weigh a shitton.

In fantasyland, a fairy godmother - like Zachary Michael in drag, with wings, I expect - would just whisk all that loose skin away, finalizing her transformation into a skinny legend. Still a narcissitic, sociopathic, manipulative, lying bitch, but thin.
 
Still a narcissitic, sociopathic, manipulative, lying bitch, but thin.
women.
She didn't even have any childhood friends
she ate them all!

Thinking about AL losing all the weight is interesting because I wonder how she'd incorporate her success into the narrative. Getting it together and losing the weight would require her to first concede that she has ultimate control over her weight. I wonder how a post weightloss hamber would tell the story...
Does she flip and give a "i can do it anyone can" sort of attitude, even though she was hopelessly stuck for years?
Does she ever concede that her life was miserable and desperate before the weightloss?
Does she take responsibility for the loss even, or does the victory go to whatever regiment pulls her out?
 
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