Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

[MirnaMinkoff]

Apologies for the image dump but Bogan and Lowtax are losing it and it's glorious.

Spoiler: Logan

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Spoiler: Lowtax

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I can’t believe you guys aren’t hyped for Lowtax and Bogan to co-host Murder the Internet. Goddam that’s fantastic news for this thread.

Also, LOL at Bogan telling goons she’s so privileged, so successful and busy!! with stake holders she can take on SA as a pity project. She should be selling LulaRoe or Herbalife.

Pity has gotten Lowtax $8k a month and it should damn well get him grade A free comedy content so he can get even more money.

 

[Silicon Wasteland]

I don't fundamentally understand owning a "business" and not being able to pay $250 a week for content. You could scrounge up multiples of that begging in any small town near a streetlight. You could sell shit you find in dumpsters and make more than $250 a week. How the fuck is he this cheap?

I also love the idea that the main draw to Something Awful 2.0 is Lowtax related content and updates to the mythical Front Page that no one has ever fucking cared about. Sign me up for more of that Gaming Garbage! That's a brand worth building off of.

 

[Baggywrinkle]

It’s got to be some act where they are trying to convince everyone they are really business partners and not fuck buddies for the sake of his divorce. Because all that corporate buzzword mishmash is dilbert level shit. probably using the podcast to justify her living with him too. Its weird and gross.

 

[AnOminous]

It’s got to be some act where they are trying to convince everyone they are really business partners and not fuck buddies for the sake of his divorce. Because all that corporate buzzword mishmash is dilbert level shit. probably using the podcast to justify her living with him too. Its weird and gross.

This act is so transparently pathetic it isn't even fooling goons, who may be the most gullible group of people on the planet. Does he seriously think it's going to fool a judge?

 

[Ghostse]

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I'd believe that last bit about not wanting to extract labor from people for free when you could be paying them a bit more if Bogan wasn't working for free pills, box wine, and semi-flacid daddy issues dickings.

 

[Baggywrinkle]

This act is so transparently pathetic it isn't even fooling goons, who may be the most gullible group of people on the planet. Does he seriously think it's going to fool a judge?

Also weird is how after letting the drama die down they kick it back up and make it worse.
and lol that even writers who stick around still don’t get paid for the first two months. Of course lowtax insists this is how it’s always been done, and it must be a winning strategy because the plethora of top-notch writers have made the front page a raging success thus far.

 

[repentance]

I don't fundamentally understand owning a "business" and not being able to pay $250 a week for content. You could scrounge up multiples of that begging in any small town near a streetlight. You could sell shit you find in dumpsters and make more than $250 a week. How the fuck is he this cheap?

He can afford to pay for content. He's getting $8700 a month from Patreon plus whatever the forums bring in.

 

[Ghostse]

I love that Lowtax is pointed at a free solution to fix his writer payment issue, and promptly says fuck that. Surprised that goon isn't banned.

I also love that goons are pretty much pointing out that Garbage Day just bypassed his shitty system of not paying people.

And with $8800 coming in each month, $50 an article is too great of a risk.
Do you know how many ambien that is?!

 

[Underestimated Nutria]

Yes, an extremely gay kid who demanded everyone take a feminism class so they can be just like him

Lead a Good Life, Everyone: Trey Malone's Suicide Note - The Good Men Project

Trey Malone took his own life two years ago today, in June 2012. His last wish was that his voice finally be heard and listened to.

goodmenproject.com

E: it appears the cop thing was just a trigger, he was actually upset that his anal sodomy cherry didn't go to the man of his dreams and instead a random guy at the faggot parties where homosexuals generally make their assholes available 500+ times a year. He got blackout drunk as he was apparently known to do and some homo predator (redundant) took advantage. The only way out was jumping off the skyway bridge lol.

This was very interesting; thank you.

I'm quite interested in the phenomenon of "suicide notes mentioning sexual assaults that never happened". It seems to be a combination of self pity and the idea that one needs a justification to feel sad, and if one doesn't have such readily at hand, so one invents it ....

The best example I'm aware of is from The Last Psychiatrist

The Last Psychiatrist: The Suicide Of Bill Zeller

But I've encountered many such examples, with increasing frequency over the years.

 

[Mister Dongs]

I'm dying at Lowtax's pillhead thinking process.

"Waiting two months before paying front page writers has worked so far for the past 20 years so there's no reason to change it now"
"But it hasn't worked well, that's why you're trying to overhaul the front page."
"SHUT UP YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING"

 

[Manah]

It sounds like he works in a restaurant? Generally restaurants aren't known for giving raises to the host staff (what I assume this guy is doing). Their "raise" is being promoted to Server.

If this dude is a line cook, then just lol.

Sources indicate yeah, line cook.

 

[Doctor Jizzmopper]

I'm going to guess payment or not, LOLtax is going to demand all rights waved on the work. Should just outright steal work like Eric used to do and cut out the stupid shit.

 

[northstar747]

I'm dying at Lowtax's pillhead thinking process.

"Waiting two months before paying front page writers has worked so far for the past 20 years so there's no reason to change it now"
"But it hasn't worked well, that's why you're trying to overhaul the front page."
"SHUT UP YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING"

he closed the thread because he couldnt handle the critism

He coulda asked for people to be summiting articles before they could complain about the model.

Also the power of logan blow jobs seem to rouse rich but will it make him work? Ashlii wasnt able to do that.

 

[Mister Dongs]

he closed the thread because he couldnt handle the critism

He coulda asked for people to be summiting articles before they could complain about the model.

Also the power of logan blow jobs seem to rouse rich but will it make him work? Ashlii wasnt able to do that.

I think we're seeing two different motives at work here; Logan wants this front page rework to do as making the front page profitable would validate her delusions of being some sort of business maven.
Lowtax meanwhile is quietly wanting the effort to fail because the time she spends on the front page could be spent sucking his dick.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

the mythical Front Page that no one has ever fucking cared about.

You'll sometimes see people say that they were brought in "by the front page, and then I saw the forums", and I've always wondered: of the people who were telling the truth, like... did they pass through some sort of membrane from another dimension? Is there an alternate timeline where both Hitler lived and Low-T was actually funny?

 

[northstar747]

I politely disagree, lowtax is old and in poor health and on pills. he had a wife he could fuck, also he could just buy pussy locally. I am sure he doesnt need that much servicing. infact this is a double win for him, when he isnt getting off she can be working on his site for him for free!

 

[Pissmaster]

I don't fundamentally understand owning a "business" and not being able to pay $250 a week for content. You could scrounge up multiples of that begging in any small town near a streetlight. You could sell shit you find in dumpsters and make more than $250 a week. How the fuck is he this cheap?

You'd think he would have learned his lesson after losing Yahtzee like a total retard:

The story I've heard, and that I believe unless new info came to light since it sounds super on brand for Lowtax, is that Yahtzee approached Lowtax about making Zero Punctuation an SA thing. Lowtax offered to pay him the standard going rate for articles (which I was told is 40 bucks each).

Yahtzee told him that wasn't nearly enough to compensate him for his time and effort making the videos, since videos take considerably longer to script, edit, etc. etc. than it does to just write a page or two's worth of funny words for a text article.

Lowtax then offered to make him a moderator of the gaming forum in lieu of extra money. Yahtzee laughed off the idea of being paid for his work with the extra work of modding a forum for free, so Lowtax had a sO wAcKy passive-aggressive blowup at him for A) having the gall to want to be paid more for making professional, unique videos than he pays for text articles and B) not dropping to his knees and offering to suck Lowtax's dick at the thought of getting a mod star and told Yahtzee to fuck off, so Yahtzee fucked off all the way over to the Escapist and I can only imagine makes wayyyyy more than he'd have ever made at SA, even if Lowtax had offered to pay him an acceptable amount.

$40 per video? hahahahaha even with all the work Yahtzee puts into them, that's chump change even when ZP was new. So Lowtax would have had Yahtzee working for a net of negative $20, plus whatever his time's worth, since, you know, video games do cost $60 at launch. Oh wait, Yahtzee was living in Australia at the time, so games cost even more than that for him.

Oh, but he gets to be a mod. Woo hoo. I'm sure Yahtzee can pressure any landlord into giving him free room and board by saying "I'm a mod on the Games subforum on Something Awful Dot Com, you know."

Sidenote, Lowtax also lied about it mentioned what happened with Yahtzee (vaguely, with a "pity me" angle) it in this very thread when someone asked:

None of them approached me to work with me or my site for any project; they simply used the forums as a springboard to popularity, and then left.

lol ok lowtax

And Null himself posted something incredible on September 5th, 2016:

Surrender the forum to me @Lowtax. I will complete my five year's plan in only four years. I will make it great again.

We're almost at four years since that post, and just look at the state of the forums today. Bravo, Lowtax. Only you could have let the boards get this bad.

You'll sometimes see people say that they were brought in "by the front page, and then I saw the forums", and I've always wondered: of the people who were telling the truth, like... did they pass through some sort of membrane from another dimension? Is there an alternate timeline where both Hitler lived and Low-T was actually funny?

I'd imagine almost all of them were either fans of Photoshop Phriday or Shmorky's animations. Photoshop contests were popular on forums in the web 1.0 days.

 

[Peep Plops]

Lowtax and his latest whore sure do make a convincing argument here. Imagine writing a "comedy" article for modern day SA that is "in touch with current sensibilities" and being extra-careful not to offend the troon brigade and then when you realize you haven't been paid and it's been six months, you wander onto the forums trying to get a hold of lowtax and then being immediatly banned for "drama". Fucking pillhead dipshit should just write the shit himself if he doesn't wanna pay for it, not like he's got much else going on besides getting blotto on seven different prescriptions from five doctors and cramming his pill-limp-dick into bogan's various orifices.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

You'll sometimes see people say that they were brought in "by the front page, and then I saw the forums", and I've always wondered: of the people who were telling the truth, like... did they pass through some sort of membrane from another dimension? Is there an alternate timeline where both Hitler lived and Low-T was actually funny?

It was funny in the early 2000s. Just like Seanbaby was funny. Now that style of humor doesn't work anymore and they couldn't do it even if it would since it's "problematic."

Lowtax is basically the aging wolf whose teeth fell out and the rest of the pack is just wishing he'd wander off into the woods and overdose on Ambien like he's supposed to.

 

[Holocaust Mansplainer]

He has a policy in place guys! Sorry but his hands are tied, he can't possibly pay for content even if he wanted to because muh indie forums policy.