I’m bisexual, genderqueer (bi-gendered), ENM, and AFAB. My spouse is AMAB, gender non-conforming, mono (we have a mono-poly currently as he’s demi), and hetero.
That entire mouthful of letters, and we both are cishet passing couple.
Sometimes I wish my queerness was more obvious. I would wear enamel pins with my flag and the progressive flag with my badge (I’m an experienced RN.) I’ve thought about changing hairstyles to signal more obviously, but I’m bad about maintaining hairstyles in general (rarely use an air dryer for example.)
Here’s what I realized, in general no one cared as much as me. And the only time others really cared about the nitty-gritty of all my letters were prospective partners (for obvious reasons.) My patients only sometimes commented on my pins, but most didn’t care enough to make any comment. I would have the occasional patient noticeably relax once they saw the pins, realizing they were being cared for by a fellow queer nurse. But in the general population it was just me feeling like I needed to show my queerness, the pressure came from no where else.
This is all to say, it doesn’t matter if you’re cishet passing. No one is grading you on it. You don’t have to up your queerness to prove anything to anyone. It’d be like a gay man being upset that he didn’t adjust his speech pattern and tone to have more of a lift in their voice to read more gay.
My bach party was a dinner, going to different bars, and then spending majority of the night at a queer dance club that had a drag queen show first and became a dance club afterwards. A Bi friend (who happened to marry a AMAB) had a drag queen brunch, queer bar hopping, PJ party hang out where we gifted lingerie an handed out penises and vaginas, dinner, then personal room karaoke rental.
Point being, do what you want for your Bach party, but don’t pick out things specifically because you worry others won’t know you’re bi. Honestly no one is hung up on this, nor do they care unless they’re a prospective partner.