CRUCIAL DANGER SITUATION Rogue Soldier Eli McManus Reported MIA - Operation Wupacalypse = 9/11'd

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And so passes Elijah, the greatest soldier Deagle Nation has ever known. You're in Gamer Valhalla or whatever now, Eli. Where Dew flows through the rivers, Doritos grow on every plant, and your weed bowl will never run dry. Now to wait for Jace to strike back against the Wu Tran Clan. Blood for blood, Commander! BLOOD FOR BLOOD!!!
 
Jace seems to have forgotten about Eli and is now re-tweeting stuff about Brianna Wu's taxidermied penis....
 
Just leave an Xbox and some weed out by the front door and he'll come running back.

...If he doesn't come back soon, we'll have to buy Jace a new Eli at the store.

I hope he's okay, though. *sigh*
 
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He probably got detained at the border since they probably discovered that he was deported from Israel when they ran his background check.
 
#1. I really hope that Eli is okay, after he came back from Israel he became pretty much my favourite DN character :(.
#2. I hope that Jace actually considers Wupacalypse to be over, I don't want him to get in any actual legal trouble from shenanigans with a person with loads more money to burn into lawsuits than Jace does.
 
Eli's kinda dumb, huh? But, like, almost a lovable kind of dumb, if that love is a long-distance relationship from behind heavily shielded plexiglass.
 
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