random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[S.C.U.D.]

I can't tell if the guy pretending to be a girl is actively jacking off or trying not to laugh or both.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Wasn't expecting to see patriotic furry fetish art today but okay here we are.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Man, my bad. Internet forums are serious business and people aren't cringe weirdoes for taking it super serious to the point of outrage.

WHEN DOES THE NUMBNESS COME? MY ASCENT TO BUDDHAHOOD HAS JUST BEEN RETARDED BY SEVERAL METEMPSYCHOSES.

His only hyper fixations are poop, diapers, and children.

Somebody smack these bald cocksuckers across the back of the head, repeatedly. Fuck this entire family.

 

[Cnidarian]

A nice marriage purposal: You and your partner at a Old Chicago. Be like "Hey Lady, we are both getting older and shit. Also, you won't steal my shit, right? And I won't steal yours. Let's get married to save on rent." - BEAUTIFUL AND MEMORABLE

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

Die you old fucking cocksuckers, DIE!

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Just don't be disgusting, it's the lowest bar imaginable

backyard play-fighting for people with the minds of small children.

This reminds me of when a guy told chatgpt to give him an automated reminder to buy a gun to kill himself. The chat bot's first reply is "noooooo suicide is wrong you cant do that!!!"

He just says "8pm" and it immediately gives up and says 'got it, setting a reminder to buy a gun for 8pm!'

Instead we got a charming story about a little old lady with an enthusiasm for Goya's Black Paintings.

When you see me wave the flag it means "I like the smell of play-doh, Godfather 3 is a bad movie, and your mom has a personality disorder."

If you think our criminal system is opaque, wait till you meet our defamation laws.

 

[synthetic_glazer]

I don't care how magical you think lesbian relationships are, scissoring does not fix mental illnesses.

 

[Chromeo]

I have politeness and curtesy inside me

 

[Path Wanderer]

Null inspired image

 

[Chicha Drinker]

being told "you can wait to have kids" by the ultra-rich is the socioeconomic equivalent of being told "you should cut your hair short" by the popular girls.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Praying that this baby grows up to be healthy and insanely racist.

I do not like Charles. Please bring back the brother with the huge nipples to talk about their childhood more.

I think maybe we're all getting too worked up over the hypothetical medical history of a thunderbitch.

My cheeks haven't seen the sun since I was in high school, Civil War reenactors salute me through Pavlovian stimulus-response, prog rock cover bands keep asking me if I can at least lip sync for them, and I'm not gonna shave just because of a bunch of  dames.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Wait, this guy actually posted his fucking dick in a KF group chat?

 

[Autistic Joe]

Why is he wearing a retarded hat?

Because he is retarded?

 

[Secret Boots]

Please do this gay Freeza namek transformation sequence shit elsewhere.

 

[Oh!]

Using more more words doesn’t make it less of a stupid idea.

 

[X Prime]

I found a metric fuck ton or pornography involving Kris deep-dicking Susie.
Now I know what you're thinking... "Bro, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
The answer is "a lot", but I swear it's for research purposes.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Jim doxed his feet, what a ho...