Pronoun use

[MangledTwot]

As a member of the LGBT community (I'm the L), I do tend to respect pronouns.

But I just can't be bothered with "They" or "it" or "ze". I have transgender mates and they're level-headed. But get outta here with that.

 

[Mrs Paul]

See, "they" doesn't bother me that much. I find it a little odd, but I'll do it, since it's such a small thing. The "zhi/xhi" thing though, is just too out there. (I don't even know how the fuck you pronounce it)

 

[PuToTyra]

I call people what they want to be called, it doesn't matter if I "agree" with it or believe it to be valid. Misgendering or being rude to people IRL is like asking for drama and trouble, and only most socially unaware individuals would do it.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

The idea of calling someone an 'it' makes me uncomfortable. I can't respect that.

unless it's a baby because babies aren't people

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

'They' is used with respect here, as in talking to strangers in a professional setting, or the elderly. To prance around demanding that privilege because you chose to; fuck that.

Life isn't a leveled battlefield. You happened to be born in the 'wrong body', don't expect everyone to comply happily. Getting to a point you either pass as the desired gender or is respected enough to get the treatment is on you to achieve (basically be nice to me for 5 sentences in my case).

I know one person who genuinely 'confuses' me enough with their behavior, looks and being around me for longer for me to call them she, and actually feel guilty doing otherwise. That shit is earned, not by putting it in your bio.

 

[Yutyrannus]

Honestly, it's nbd to me. I don't give a shit what they do with their own identity as long as they aren't hurting or manipulating anyone, even if in the end it turns out to be a big embarrassment for the person or just a phase (which I think is an important learning experience). I honestly just use they as a default since he/she is a pain in the ass to type and clunky to say.

Although honestly I wouldn't even interact with a person who uses it or neopronouns.

 

[bad yiff]

I would use what pronouns they ask me to. I'm fine with "they" as a pronoun too but that's as far as I'll go. I know someone who wants people to call him "it" pronouns and that actually makes me very uncomfortable. I swear, only the trenders ever want to be called "it" because they've never had someone call them that in a mocking way.

Sometimes it can be hard for someone to pass but as long as I see they are at least putting in effort and I believe their transness etc I respect their pronouns unless its retarded shit like fae or xir. (it is very hard to pass as FTM tranny when lesbians now decide they like to bind, or even get surgery, for funsies or instead of admitting they themselves are trans so I am a lot more inclined to respect them and not some MTF that can't even be assed to put some eyeliner on)

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

If you ask me once to call you by your preferred whatever - real words only, as @escapegoat said, I'm not doing any transperanto - I'll respect your wishes.

If like a month later your mood changes and have a new set of pronouns and you want us all to change again, you can fairly assume any further time I spend with you is just to document in case I need to start a new cow thread.

 

[AnOminous]

If you ask me once to call you by your preferred whatever - real words only, as @escapegoat said, I'm not doing any transperanto - I'll respect your wishes.

If like a month later your mood changes and have a new set of pronouns and you want us all to change again, you can fairly assume any further time I spend with you is just to document in case I need to start a new cow thread.

Pretty much this. Why would I not use reasonable pronouns? He/she, even maybe it or them, if you really seem to care about it. I'm not just going to be a dick for no reason.

Change it every three days or ask me to use made-up fantasy pronouns you just invented, though, and you can suck my dick. I'm going to call you whatever pisses you off the most from then on, and then pretend it was accidental.

 

[Sure Thing Idiot]

If it's not simply for show and attention but someone genuinely identifies as the opposite gender they were born, presents that way, lives their life as any normal person does, then I have no problem referring to them in the way they ask. If I knew someone my whole life as Evan who came out and asked to be called Eve and changed their name and was taking the steps to be taken seriously then I see no problem there. Personally I have no political opinion on the genitals or the lifestyle of another person, I dont wanna know and I dont care, especially if I'm friends with them or they seem like a relatively normal person otherwise. What I'm saying is, it's almost a non-issue. It doesn't effect my life so I don't care.

But I'm of two minds. I'm not gonna reject the possibility of saying "they" to refer to someone because I already do it sometimes naturally on accident but I don't encourage it. I think it's possible people can feel ambiguous or androgynous and not feel comfortable calling themselves he or she, though I think that can't change. It is or it isn't. I don't really like the idea of saying someone is a he one day then a she another. It's confusing and I think it gives a stronger argument to prove the "gender spectrum" or whatever the fuck it's called that people are trying to break away from. Maybe I'm uneducated but I don't get how a person can feel like a man on Tuesday but a woman on Friday, then neither on Saturday, and how are others supposed to know. I can understand a man in a woman's body or a woman in a man's body but flip-flopping back and forth seems like an effort. If you dress and act in an androgynous way all the time then "they" seems possible but I've not encountered anyone who was like that in real life. The scenario seems like it would be very rare in the real world.

As for 'xe' 'ze' all that horseshit, no. I won't call someone by any made-up pronouns because if you start that type of wash there's no end and it's impossible to keep up with. If gender isn't real but a social construct how can you fucking make up a pronoun? If that's all a social construct aren't you just adding to it? How can you be 'jix' or 'ze' if gender, for what it is, isn't real? That shit is a silly fad and I don't agree with it so I wouldn't refer to anyone in that way even if they asked. I wouldn't be rude I'd just not go out of my way to associate with them because it's not a situation that seems rational at all and I don't wanna be involved in it.

 

[break these cuffs]

I won't respect troons at all. Get fucked. This transtrender bullshit needs to end. People with gender dysphoria are legitimately mentally ill and need help. They need compassion and understanding, not catering to their delusions. That being said, I am not a heartless cunt. These people have done me no wrong. My problem with pronouns and the like is at a societal level, not the individual. My thought would be to use their name or they, only switching to a preferred pronoun if would be too awkware. There is no point in causing a scene. Chances are if I went to a potluck or whatever with my hippy friends and someone had to tell me their pronouns were, I'd just avoid them. I really want no part of that train.

I live in a rural state. My only run ins with people who may have gender dysphoria have been in a town nearby with a liberal college. One guy was obviously mentally in what seems to me like a harmless way. He smiles and will talk to people, but is clearly not all there. I'm not going to call him a troon because seeing him around town has never made him seem like a spiteful, screeching cunt. The other guy may have just been a cross dresser. I walked into the hardware store behind what I initially thought was a very tall woman with a butch haircut. They were not. I realistically don't think I will ever encounter a situation where I'd have to make the decision on what pronouns to use and I am thankful for that.

 

[weirdMcGee]

When it comes to pronouns, I at least do a good thing and try to make sure I refer to the person in a respectful matter. But if you insist to be referred to as xe/ze/ or just your name, then I'm not going to bother and just call you they.

 

[dookerbewitt]

I'm typically ok with using pronouns that people prefer, barring gibberish shit (so basically parroting everyone else's sensible replies) however, and this is a big however, the culture change that comes with it is more damaging than I would have thought.

Bear with me a moment.

Spoiler

I belong to a women's sport that has recently been touting itself as a 'safe space' for, especially gay and trans youth. Which yeah ok cool be a supportive place in the community. Except this past season, we accumulated 4 new individuals who all go by they pronouns. (One goes by either she or they which I think is just a fucking joke in itself.)

Everyone has tried to be supportive of these individuals. They aren't even bad people, some are just more annoying with it than others. However, after a couple of weeks I overheard some uncomfortable conversation about how the coach didn't want to use 'ladies' anymore when speaking to all of us, a women's league, with a female pronoun in our title. How we all need to use 'guys' or fucking 'friends.' Talk of even changing our name and logo to something more gender neutral has been seriously discussed. It's a very sad state for a league specifically set up by and for women in need in the local area and frankly makes me sad.

I'll call you what you want as long as you aren't a fucking sped, however, personal experience panning out right now has me seriously wondering how long my patience with even they pronouns is going to last. Shit got old quick.

 

[LordAzazel]

The coach didn't want to use 'ladies' anymore when speaking to all of us, a women's league, with a female pronoun in our title.

We all need to use 'guys'

XD That's... exceptional, even for Tumblr standards. And this is real life! I wonder if your coach would ever pick up on the irony.

I kinda hope coach is a white knight, who took it upon themselves to be The Most Correct Person in the world, and that the four members had nothing to do with it.

You have my sympathy, in any case.

 

[Todesfurcht]

If it's someone I actually care about (say a family member or someone I deeply cared about) I'll use their pronouns.

 

[Incredible Crisis]

If I'm not sure of someone's gender presentation, I ask for their pronouns. Otherwise, I use "they".

I don't really like the idea of words like xir.

 

[Pikimon]

I'm okay with using their preferred pronouns, but tbh I don't think we should worry too much about the whole zhe, xir, or fae thing since these people are pretty rare and you're not going to find them very often unless you hang out with a lot of gender-radical groups (which the guessing not since this is the Kiwi Farms).

 

[dookerbewitt]

XD That's... exceptional, even for Tumblr standards. And this is real life! I wonder if your coach would ever pick up on the irony.

I kinda hope coach is a white knight, who took it upon themselves to be The Most Correct Person in the world, and that the four members had nothing to do with it.

You have my sympathy, in any case.

Thanks fam. You know, at first I thought it was pretty benign and was just a passing conversation but sure as shit at our last practice there was a league wide statement made about how 'ladies' needed to change to things like 'guys, friends, skaters....' but not 'dudes,' I guess that's way too far. So even if it is a lot of white knighting, its been made official. Bear in mind there are 4 people touting the nonbinary flag amid a group of 20+ women and that's enough to make the word 'ladies' poison.

Sorry, I'm a little bitter.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

I’d do it was he was he or she (And they were genuinely transgender) but gender theory is nonsense and I wouldn’t bother humouring anything like that.

It seems to me like an act of extreme narcissism to have special pronouns and demand people watch everything they say just to please you.

 

[Joan Nyan]

Using made up pronouns is better than a biological male using "she" or vice versa. New words come into use all the time, whereas he and she have clear, well established meanings that don't include people who are not biologically the sex to which they refer.