Princess Peach is a White Colonialist, Mario is a White Savior - Brianna's Spec Script for Game Theory

[Asperchewy]

We are way overdue for a "John Flynt is missing" Super Nintendo game TBH.

Edit:

 

[El Porko Fako]

How much Ambien do I have to mix with alcohol to get to this point? I want to get the full effect while I play the roller coaster of emotions that is Mario Odyssey aka Trail of Tears simulator.

 

[sbm1990]

Oh great, leave it to John to find something "oppressive" about Super Mario. What's he gonna go do next? Let me guess, is he gonna try to claim that the game supports "animal cruelty", because of Mario stomping on Koopas?

 

[Asperchewy]

Oh great, leave it to John to find something "oppressive" about Super Mario. What's he gonna go do next? Let me guess, is he gonna try to claim that the game supports "animal cruelty", because of Mario stomping on Koopas?

Mario literally guts Turtles in order to use their shells as a projectile weapon. I'm surprised Wu didn't somehow connect this Nintendo rant into Indians losing their land to the Italians. A reminder BTW this man-cunt is attempting to run for congress in Boston? Fucking KEK.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Oh great, leave it to John to find something "oppressive" about Super Mario. What's he gonna go do next? Let me guess, is he gonna try to claim that the game supports "animal cruelty", because of Mario stomping on Koopas?

PETA is already one step ahead of John Wu, a person who requires the most "original" of all autistic hot takes.

 

[Terrorist]

John's colonialist hypothesis is intriguing, but lacking in ethnological perspective. He may be an expert videogames man, but I am an expert Italian, and every Italian knows that mario is just a' one of us, trying to keep his dim anglo goomah away from bowser's big nigger dick. This lack of cultural competency will hurt him at the polls with the Dago demographic, I'm sure.

 

[MG 620]

If you think about it, Wu's life is a story about colonialism. Brianna Wu occupies a human body (John Flynt).

 

[Peace and Harmony]

Rage update.

 

[sbm1990]

Rage update.

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*insert I was only pretending to be retarded here*

 

[MG 620]

IT'S A JOKE!!!

 

[c-no]

Rage update.

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Unfortunately for Wu, many of us like to doubt her claim, especially when she said shit like moon rocks dropping from the sky and BitCoin using up power by 2020. Also like how she tries to bring up some speedrun record like it even means a thing.

 

[Xerxes IX]

SMB2 isn't even a real Mario game, John

Also look at how far down ~14 minute speedruns are on the leaderboards. Real impressive.

 

[drtoboggan]

I have a hypothesis that John is a clone of Marilyn Manson. They look alike and are pretty retarded.

 

[Munchingonfish]

In this scenario, are the Koopas Muslims, Spics or nogs?

 

[Skeletor]

Super Mario is a story

Let me stop you right there...

 

[The Lawgiver]

This theory fucking falls apart if you've played super Mario RPG where Peach's grandmother is a toad.
Just because most of the peasants are short compared to a prevalent member ruling class doesn't make them another population entirely.

Speed run my ass! This is only more proof that notorious cybercriminal John Flynt is a dang dirty FAKE GAMER

 

[Schwachkopf]

I thought Princess Peach was more of Bowser's secret lover and that Mario was more of a cuck whose time is wasted on rescuing the same princess.

 

[Professor Iris]

If you have to constantly go "IT'S A JOKE", maybe comedy isn't your bag.

 

[DragoonSierra]

I thought the big green lizard kidnapped Peach?

Clearly the kidnapping is just cover so Peach doesnt get embarrassed by having a lizard boyfriend. I mean damn she has a neighbor with flying cannons and she doesnt bother to upgrade military spending? Of course Mario cant take the hint and shows up to buzzkill everything while shes being willingly locked up in the sex dungeon.

I always liked Daisy more, anyway. Still, this is BS - thanks as usual, John; you dipshit.

HI, IM DAISY!
HI, IM DAISY!
HI, IM DAISY!
HI, IM DAISY!

We are way overdue for a "John Flynt is missing" Super Nintendo game TBH.

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You forgot to put "penis" at the end

 

[Francis York Morgan]

this sounds like something a 16 year old would come up with to sound edgy.

Makes sense given that John's entire basis for what women are seems to be Regina George combined with that chick from the Underworld movies.