Princess Peach is a White Colonialist, Mario is a White Savior - Brianna's Spec Script for Game Theory

[Jack Awful]

https://twitter.com/Spacekatgal/status/942773570811387904

 

[Asperchewy]

LOL, wat?

 

[Jack Awful]

LOL, wat?

This is why gamers hate Brianna, Zoe, Anita, etc.
Literally everything is problematic to them, no matter how innocuous.

 

[Keystone]

I see John is giving us another retarded tweet for Wu-mas.

 

[Doseferatu]

Brianna, a globalist, wants to whine about a video game's "white colonialism."

 

[Ceiling Kitten]

Typical "feminist", blaming women for everything. Though at least this is different from all the feminists that blame Peach for being kidnapped by Bowser.

I wonder what her thoughts on Bowser constantly trying to force Peach to marry him, though. I'm surprised she left that out when she complains so much about rape culture.

 

[Porker LeVance]

Everything about Super Mario was a means to an end, so that people could play a video game that wasn't all taking place on a static screen. There is no story. There's no meaning to any of it. Mario and the Mushroom Kingdom is just a brand of video game, made by non-whites who just want people to enjoy themselves. Like, why on Earth would someone who cares about social justice attack Shigeru Miyamoto? Fuck this attempt at SJW brownie points

 

[escapegoat]

I thought the big green lizard kidnapped Peach?

 

[AnOminous]

John is trying to outdo himself but this is a dud. Nowhere near as utterly moronic as Elon Musk dropping rocks on us from the moon or Bitcoin destroying the entire universe by 2020.

 

[Ceiling Kitten]

I thought the big green lizard kidnapped Peach?

Bowser? Yea, he does, and iirc at least twice she got hypnotized on top of being kidnapped.

This shit is even funnier because Peach is a super sweet girl who sometimes gets in trouble or kidnapped because she's too kind for her own sake and/or she's trying to help the Mario brothers and the Toads that, according to Brianna, she bullies and oppresses. Brianna couldn't have chosen a worse character for her "analogy", LOL.

 

[RG 448]

I wonder what her thoughts on Bowser constantly trying to force Peach to marry him, though.

Bowser is clearly butthurt about Mario constantly stopping him, hence why he made the tweet in the first place.

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

this sounds like something a 16 year old would come up with to sound edgy.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

And to top it all off, Brianna used what i am 95% sure is an image of Shadow Peach from Thousand Year Door. Basically, in that shot, Peach is possessed by a LITERAL DEMON and isn't aware of what she's doing (though she is fighting from the inside and breaks free at one point to give Mario and team a full heal while also requesting that they beat the absolute shit out of The Shadow Queen).

So her arguments are moronic, her understanding of the "plot" is dumb, and the images he selected are cherry picked to hell.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

This is why autism should be treated and not encouraged.

 

[c-no]

Mario a white savior and Peach a white colonist, over a group of humans that are white and wear mushroom hats. This may as well top the "Samus is trans" tweet. If one really tries to think of a game being something else beyond just what the story is their trying to make, one may really just be over-analyzing shit, especially if its a kid friendly game.

 

[Calooby]

And here I was, growing out of the Mario series, and this just made me want to start playing them again haha.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I have to sperg here, but if that bottom image was included in the original tweet, then Flu is an even bigger dumbass by never having played one of the greatest Mario games ever - a sin for a 'diehard gamer' such as they:

Spoiler: Spoilers for Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

That image is of Princess Peach...as possessed by the Shadow Queen, the final boss of the game and the entire reason Gradius/the X-Nauts kidnapped Peach (much to Bowser's shock that somebody else beat him to the punch this time around). You fight evil Peach in round 1, before the SQ does the usual final boss stuff and projects her true form around Peach.

Plus, Super Mario isn't that complex a game - everybody knows he's a plumber, but this is the game that made him that, as the developers reasoned it made sense seeing as how he spends so much time going underground through pipes!

 

[facepalm]

Mario games are white colonialism? Somebody explain to Brianna what country Nintendo calls home.

 

[Shokew]

I always liked Daisy more, anyway. Still, this is BS - thanks as usual, John; you dipshit.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Literally everything is problematic to them, no matter how innocuous.

Only tumblrists find ways to make a fun globetrotting game a divisive tale of oppression.