📚 Megathread Potatoes of Instagram - A brief collection of Phil's phinest photos.

[Mogambo]

Taters can’t figure out pirating. Wyświetl załącznik 335984

Bwahahaha. Seriously, I know this is about on par with when a little kid says he wants to grow up to be an astronaut and Phil will probably loose interest in his "becoming a fucking tattoo artist" lie as soon as some new social justice issue crops up, but this is just fucking hilarious.

First and foremost, being a tattoo artist requires SOME artistic skill. Phil... just makes childish scribbles and thinks it's awesome. Nobody would pay you to put that shit on their body. Not to mention, tattoo artists have to draw things that other people request. Not fucking bicycles, or maps of Autism land, or 50 different "trans lesbian rainbow flag" symbols. Nobody cares about that shit other than Phil. When someone commissions you, you do what they ask for.

All of this ignores Phil's horrible hygiene. Nobody wants to have a gross smelly hobo pawing covering their body with his unwashed hands and smelling of feces. Hell I bet Phil thinks his entire clientele would be hot lesbians; this is the same idiot who shat himself when he touched Dusty's crotch.

Of course, all of this ignores the fact that Phil isn't going to take a single step towards becoming a tattoo artist... beyond maybe getting another random facial tattoo or some shit. I'm still hoping he decides to go super edgy and get a swastika facial tattoo. He's already pretty much unemployable, may as well just do it now.

Also, what's with the obession with kylo ren?

He's a perpetual teenager and edgelord. Don't get me wrong, Star Wars is cool and all, but for Phil he can somehow justify it in his mind if he latches onto a "dark" and "evil" character. Because everything he does is about image. Also, Kylo Ren is extremely popular with the stupid fangirl segment of the internet. Five bucks says there's some stupid SJW thing about how he's "secretly gay" or some shit. Phil would definitely eat that up.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I'm surprised he hasn't requested "sexual solidarity" in an incredibly stupid attempt to beg for fucks.

He has some sort of autism-powered asexuality thing going on. By all accounts, when it comes to actual sex, he freaks out and starts crying. Even watching porn. I don't know why he doesn't make more of his asexuality, being as how it's one of his few minority status claims that has some root in fact.

Wait, I do, it's because he thinks pretending to be some sort of kinky sexpert makes him cooler. And no one cares enough about him to notice the contradictory claims about his sexuality.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's claimed to be banging Xochi. It wouldn't any dumber than her taking a cycling tour of Israel.

Bwahahaha. Seriously, I know this is about on par with when a little kid says he wants to grow up to be an astronaut and Phil will probably loose interest in his "becoming a fucking tattoo artist" lie as soon as some new social justice issue crops up, but this is just fucking hilarious.

First and foremost, being a tattoo artist requires SOME artistic skill. Phil... just makes childish scribbles and thinks it's awesome. Nobody would pay you to put that shit on their body. Not to mention, tattoo artists have to draw things that other people request. Not fucking bicycles, or maps of Autism land, or 50 different "trans lesbian rainbow flag" symbols. Nobody cares about that shit other than Phil. When someone commissions you, you do what they ask for.

All of this ignores Phil's horrible hygiene. Nobody wants to have a gross smelly hobo pawing covering their body with his unwashed hands and smelling of feces. Hell I bet Phil thinks his entire clientele would be hot lesbians; this is the same idiot who shat himself when he touched Dusty's crotch.

Of course, all of this ignores the fact that Phil isn't going to take a single step towards becoming a tattoo artist... beyond maybe getting another random facial tattoo or some shit. I'm still hoping he decides to go super edgy and get a swastika facial tattoo. He's already pretty much unemployable, may as well just do it now.

I think for Phil, claiming to want to be a tattoo artist is like when a teenager decides they're going to be a rock star. He thinks he's going to just pick the needle up and then he'll be Kat Von D. He has no idea of the level of work and skill involved, and he doesn't have the patience for the practice he'll need.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

I think for Phil, claiming to want to be a tattoo artist is like when a teenager decides they're going to be a rock star. He thinks he's going to just pick the needle up and then he'll be Kat Von D.

Well she's also a white passing Latina so they have that in common

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Phil's starting to look like Zippy the pinhead.

But Zippy is more coherent, and has better fashion sense.

 

[AnOminous]

First and foremost, being a tattoo artist requires SOME artistic skill. Phil... just makes childish scribbles and thinks it's awesome. Nobody would pay you to put that shit on their body.

Phil himself would. Luckily for anyone who might otherwise mistake him for a tattoo artist or any kind of artist at all, his shitty tattoos act as an advertisement saying "DO NOT LET THIS MAN NEAR YOUR SKIN." And that's if his Philthy, unwashed stench didn't keep everyone at a distance.