How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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@Getmeout I’ll leave that to Lawgiver if he chooses to share but I think he’s summed it up pretty well in his last post.

Relentlessly using every possible opportunity to call or spin a guy as a pedophile with 0 fucking evidence is not just making a comment to fuck with them, it's blatantly trying to shift public opinion and it seems to be working. If I ignore it, it gets worse. If I report it, it gets ignored, sif I reply to it, it gets treated like I should just ignore it. I ignort e it, it keeps spinning and getting worse. I'm fucked and should die like they want me to but I won't give them that
Why do you care so much about what faceless retards think about you? The reason they continue to fuck with you is because of how you’re reacting to it. They think it’s funny that they’re getting to you, if they do you should never let them see it. Ignoring it or fucking with them back, like I suggested, is your best course of action. It’s not funny to mess with you if you don’t care.
 
it's not me that needs tot take a break from the political threads lmao my point was a specific kind of speaking/behavior is seeping into here in general.
Is this the Russia/Ukraine threads? If so they’re riddled with agendas, and I suspect you may have just gotten a little close to some targets. I don’t generally go in there myself, so pardon me if I’m wrong, but when I have been there, there are a set of posters who seem to mob certain viewpoints and posters.
Losing possessions like that (flooding?) is extremely traumatic. It’s on a par with big life events in terms of stressfulness. Give yourself a little kindness, that’s a horrible thing to be dealing with. You will have a reaction to it and you will need time to process it.
As for being called far right, it’s nothing more than the modern version of witch, or heretic. I get called a nazi for my opinions, which amuses me greatly since I seem to spend a fair amount of time sperging about workers rights, the class system etc. It’s just a tag to give you that marks you as a heretical target. Again, usually because you’ve hit a bit close to the bone in some way.
 
but i definitely appreciated everything more. there isnt any real challenge to day to day living now.... but i think contentment is an underestimated state of being, for sure.
I think my problem is at my age that I confuse contentment with boredom. I have no great concerns, and I realize how lucky I am for that, but those concerns used to be an animating and driving force in my life. Now the things that used to concern me -- whether it was money, women or the job -- bore me.

And that's not a bad thing. If you have that stuff locked down or resolved, whatever that means to you, that's good. I need to understand that contentment is a good and that I should be content with...well, being content. Not everyone can be the Lauri Törni of real life...everyone's story quietens eventually.

Perhaps that's what scares me about retirement.

Anyway, I hope your good days continue.
 
think my problem is at my age that I confuse contentment with boredom. I have no great concerns, and I realize how lucky I am for that, but those concerns used to be an animating and driving force in my life. Now the things that used to concern me -- whether it was money, women or the job -- bore me.
Then you need a project. Something to challenge you.
 
Is this the Russia/Ukraine threads? If so they’re riddled with agendas, and I suspect you may have just gotten a little close to some targets. I don’t generally go in there myself, so pardon me if I’m wrong, but when I have been there, there are a set of posters who seem to mob certain viewpoints and posters.
Losing possessions like that (flooding?) is extremely traumatic. It’s on a par with big life events in terms of stressfulness. Give yourself a little kindness, that’s a horrible thing to be dealing with. You will have a reaction to it and you will need time to process it.
As for being called far right, it’s nothing more than the modern version of witch, or heretic. I get called a nazi for my opinions, which amuses me greatly since I seem to spend a fair amount of time sperging about workers rights, the class system etc. It’s just a tag to give you that marks you as a heretical target. Again, usually because you’ve hit a bit close to the bone in some way.
It's more just threads I check in on in general lately int erms of the weird language. And yeah the far leftl/right/nazi claim thing is mainly offsite shit over the span of the last decade. Tit's more or less a lot of cuts leading up to me just being fuckign done with everything and knowing I shouldn't be around int his world to some degree even if I'm not going to kill myself.


Could you fill me in? I wanna help cause @The Lawgiver is a good poster and I’d hate for him to an hero
Like I said it's multiple increasing instances and different people over the last like two years or so. I can explain the gradual thing but the recent shit that's been really bad. I'm kinda running on 0 sleep right now but that's unrelated to this shit and more a combo of fucked sleep schedule and life stress shit in general.

Why do you care so much about what faceless retards think about you? The reason they continue to fuck with you is because of how you’re reacting to it. They think it’s funny that they’re getting to you, if they do you should never let them see it. Ignoring it or fucking with them back, like I suggested, is your best course of action. It’s not funny to mess with you if you don’t care.
Like I said, ignoring it doesn't stop it, silently reporting it doesn't stop it or gets a response of "ignore it" and then it just keeps getting worse till i have to say shit about it because everyone's fucking parroting shit like this for several fucking pages.
Also you can't exactly 'fuck with them back" when the entire basis is them framing you as a child diddler. The issue is it has an effect no matter what I do or don't do.
 
I'm kinda running on 0 sleep right now
This is used as torture for very good reason. If there’s one thing you can work on, try to sleep. Even if that’s by staying awake a whole day at the end of the week after work (as long as you’re not working machinery or driving) then crashing early evening the next day. Lacking sleep is so hard.
 
This is used as torture for very good reason. If there’s one thing you can work on, try to sleep. Even if that’s by staying awake a whole day at the end of the week after work (as long as you’re not working machinery or driving) then crashing early evening the next day. Lacking sleep is so hard.
I've had a messed up sleep schedule my whole life, recently it's been a bit worse though but yeah when I'm not tied to a schedule I tend to end up being up till morning and waking up mid-day. Also no matter when I wake up even if it's normal hours it's after 8PM I actually wake upeven if I'm rested. That's been that way my whole life actually.
 
Like I said, ignoring it doesn't stop it, silently reporting it doesn't stop it or gets a response of "ignore it" and then it just keeps getting worse till i have to say shit about it because everyone's fucking parroting shit like this for several fucking pages.
Well it won’t happen over night.

Also you can't exactly 'fuck with them back" when the entire basis is them framing you as a child diddler. The issue is it has an effect no matter what I do or don't do.
Again, why does it matter? You know it’s not true and from what I’ve seen they’ve got nothing to back up their claims. I still think you’re making a bigger deal out of this than it actually is. Get some rest.
 
I've had a messed up sleep schedule my whole life, recently it's been a bit worse though but yeah when I'm not tied to a schedule I tend to end up being up till morning and waking up mid-day. Also no matter when I wake up even if it's normal hours it's after 8PM I actually wake upeven if I'm rested. That's been that way my whole life actually.
I’m also a terrible sleeper, albeit more lark than owl. I do sympathise, insomnia is no joke and I don’t think people who haven’t had it severely understand how it can make you feel.
There are a few disorders where the body clock is almost like it’s permanently off sync with the light. Circadian rhythm disorders exist, and can be at least partly treated.
 
Again, why does it matter? You know it’s not true and from what I’ve seen they’ve got nothing to back up their claims. I still think you’re making a bigger deal out of this than it actually is.
I'm less trying to amke a deal about stuff and more attempting to explain the loop of how things go.

I woke up mid day yesterday at like 6pm or so so I'm able to go for quite a bit longer actually. Only mildly sleep deprived technically.
 
Like I said it's multiple increasing instances and different people over the last like two years or so. I can explain the gradual thing but the recent shit that's been really bad. I'm kinda running on 0 sleep right now but that's unrelated to this shit and more a combo of fucked sleep schedule and life stress shit in general.
Get some rest first, man, sleep helps clear your head
 
Finally got in at this general dynamics job of my dreams and I'm sitting next to a black guy in the pre work classes we are doing. Guy seems fairly normal, talking about doing this for his kids and shit, but he keeps complaining about his back ground check taking forever. I didn't know this at the time but another student asked him as a joke if he had killed someone. The nigger went yea how did you know, motherfucker was one of a pack of teens who killed a pizza guy in 2010 for fun. No one felt that we had the right to know we were working with a guy like that. Guys background check is still in waiting and I hope they don't let that nigger slide in.
 
This is used as torture for very good reason. If there’s one thing you can work on, try to sleep. Even if that’s by staying awake a whole day at the end of the week after work (as long as you’re not working machinery or driving) then crashing early evening the next day. Lacking sleep is so hard.
There's only one good thing you can do for yourself besides eating right and that's sleeping. Your mind heals, your body heals. The more dreams you have, that's healing, even if they're weird or bad right now. This sounds so basic but there's a reason that they want you off your basics of eating and sleeping - you're easier to control.
 
I think my problem is at my age that I confuse contentment with boredom. I have no great concerns, and I realize how lucky I am for that, but those concerns used to be an animating and driving force in my life. Now the things that used to concern me -- whether it was money, women or the job -- bore me.

And that's not a bad thing. If you have that stuff locked down or resolved, whatever that means to you, that's good. I need to understand that contentment is a good and that I should be content with...well, being content. Not everyone can be the Lauri Törni of real life...everyone's story quietens eventually.

Perhaps that's what scares me about retirement.

Anyway, I hope your good days continue.
oh no, you are right. i mean...im old and i get bored EASILY. sometimes i get so sick of things being the same all the damn time, and i wish something would happen that was different, i guess. up until things went south and required us to move to this absolute leftist hellzone, we had a good social life...friends, etc....now all of that is gone for the time being, so despite not being broke anymore, we simply dont get out much at all these days
 
I don’t think you want any more excitement. You’ve had such a hard time, and laundry and bread sounds like exactly what you need - the small quiet moments
oh god, i KNOW...!!! i still cant believe that my kid nearly died...and then my husband ended up in the damn ICU all in the span of 3 weeks, back in april..holy shit. im surprised i havent completely lost it by now!! i am so glad that everyone is ok for now...kid is still not doing well, but hes hanging in there, and not having any major emergencies, which is definitely a good thing.
if things can keep going like this, it might be alright. for now, things are really ok though. 💙 💙

ETA sorry for double posting, please dont beat me :lossmanjack:
 
Here I am, packing up all my belongings and taking them to storage while it's 90 outside after having done my physical labor job since 7 in the morning. No help, just me. Dont know anyone with a truck... so again... just me. If only there was someone I knew for three years with a jeep that knew I have no vehicle or other help that I don't know... lived with me, that could help. Yep, tgat sure would be nice.
Yeah... this is hell. Things are going to get better but this is truly fucking hell.
On the bright side, I'm jaded and hard after all this. I can officially say nothing can really phase me anymore. But I'm not interested in setting up the parameters for them to either.
Never doing this again. Hard lessons. Mark my words, this same time next year I will be in a nice chill place drinking a cold one while I blast my records and watch films in my own living space.
Things can, and they fucking WILL, get better from here.
 
Ended up collapsing and waking up just now unintentionally meaning my deadline for 8PM today on a specific thing that was timegated isn't gonna be able to get done this month or maybe even this year and I'm being pinged by people that set their pfp to the shit meant to frame me as a pedo. I should not have woken up

EDIT: Because some faggot responsible for prolifferating the pedo claim shit is shitting up another thread saying this is "suicide bait" I'm going to point out the obvious of "Should have stayed asleep and saved myself the frustration". Also because my sleep schedule is now royally fucked again because I woke up after sundown. My body's fully awake though and not groggy though that's likely just due to my "awake after eight" thing taken to it's logical extreme.
 
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