UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

EddyRooney · Wczoraj o 18:21

Don't Look Back in Anger......

SchizoDaemon · Wczoraj o 19:19

Tom Nook's Gloryhole powiedział(a):
The one thing I hate the most about politics is when someone deliberately pretends they don't understand what a metaphor is and spergs out about the similarity. Everyone loses and everyone looks retarded and no point ever gets addressed.

The whole grift of politics is to pretend that <the other side> has no valid criticism, ideas or redeeming qualities.

KeeKeeCooch powiedział(a):
How do people deal with their partners having the complete opposite political views?

Unless someone is a complete sperg, most people can look past disagreements on political policies unless you are being downright obnoxious about it.

EddyRooney · Wczoraj o 20:11

Clem Fandango powiedział(a):
"Here at Wren, we love The Beautiful Game. And where better to watch it than in a beautiful new Wren kitchen..."

I'm sorry, what? I know every company is trying to associate themselves with football right now, but that's just pathetic. Low effort. Is there a more tenuous advert than this one?

I've heard Emma Hayes enjoys watching the games from the kitchen.......

JosephStalin · Wczoraj o 21:00

Got these today, first time getting so many regarding the UK.

Also surprised by freedom of speech and human rights here in general.

As Oliver Cromwell said, "In the name of God, go!"

UselessRubberKeyboard · Wczoraj o 22:08

Clem Fandango powiedział(a):
"Here at Wren, we love The Beautiful Game. And where better to watch it than in a beautiful new Wren kitchen..."

I'm sorry, what? I know every company is trying to associate themselves with football right now, but that's just pathetic. Low effort. Is there a more tenuous advert than this one?

What sad sack watches football in the kitchen? It’s the place where the old women collect at parties, or the mothers busy swapping vicious stories about absent relatives. Why would you want to watch football in a kitchen when you (hopefully) have a living room with a comfortable sofa in it?

‘Flapper sandals are so comfortable, perfect for watching the football in’

‘Blast-off bogs make the most comfortable toilets - take the game with you wherever you go’

Fuck’s sake, advertising has gone to shit. Bring back the tea chimps and weird Skips/Tango adverts.

I'm a Silly · Dzisiaj o 02:38

JosephStalin powiedział(a):
Got these today, first time getting so many regarding the UK.Wyświetl załącznik 9189232

Ministry of Funny Kicks

Fun Factory · Dzisiaj o 03:08

I'm a Silly powiedział(a):

>massive fuckoff British flag in background
>depicts iconic British comedy character
>giving the boot to British politician
"What nation could this represent? Hmm! Better give my audience a little hint"

Otterly · Dzisiaj o 03:27

female fantasies powiedział(a):
Apparently staff are more comfortable doing C-sections due to this,

It’s the opposite here, they have targets to reduce them and so women who need them don’t get them at all, and babies die, or they get them too late, and get badly injured. All for targets.

Chunky Salsa powiedział(a):
My friend and his missus went in for a baby, and the nurse told that her that birth was painless, so long as nothing goes wrong. Which is a hell of a thing to tell a 23 year old first time mother. You can probably imagine the immediate panic.

There’s a huge sadistic streak in maternity. You’re so vulnerable there. I actually refused to see one midwife because she kept physically hurting me when examining me and kept going on about how it would be ok to have an abortion (I wasn’t very well during the pregnancy but everything turned out OK.) she was really weird. I saw a couple of good ones too but there’s a real streak of sadistic joy in some of them. Notably it stopped entirely when I had my husband with me at appointments. They don’t like you doing that, but I did for a few because I was really pissed off.

I'm a Silly powiedział(a):
Wyświetl załącznik 9190032
Ministry of Funny Kicks

flying circus
It’s good to see British fans enjoying America. The antipathy between our nations is driven by the same media machine that creates all the other artificial division lines like gender wars and intergenerational hatred. Most Brits of my generation saw America as somewhere hopeful, free, cool music, cool films and yes we’d have a chuckle about the size of people and food but overall we liked America. What you’re seeing here is how it should be, rather than what the media wants you to hate us for.

I'm a Silly · Dzisiaj o 03:48

Otterly powiedział(a):
there’s a real streak of sadistic joy in some of them.

Have you noticed this in other sorts of related professions? Once I was told about a sadistic tattoo artist, I started noticing this trait in other needle-wielding jobs like acupuncture and veterinary medicine, so the medical arts in general might be an enormous hunting ground, not owing so much to needles, of course.

Vesperus · Dzisiaj o 04:27

Otterly powiedział(a):
It’s the opposite here, they have targets to reduce them and so women who need them don’t get them at all, and babies die, or they get them too late, and get badly injured. All for targets.

There is a... thing where Muslims (especially from the Gulf states) insist on cesareans because they don't want a vagina to be all blown out and loose after childbirth.

It's reasonable that the NHS should be cracking down on that bullshit, but as usual they have gone gone too far in the other direction because they don't want to be racist.

Before my daughter was born, the local hospital wouldn't tell tell me the sex in case I was secretly Indian: Fortunately we managed to get a copy of the ultrasound and figure it out ourselves which is why she left the UK at one month and grew up in NZ learning MMA.

Clem Fandango · Dzisiaj o 04:51

Vesperus powiedział(a):
Before my daughter was born, the local hospital wouldn't tell tell me the sex in case I was secretly Indian:

Really? Wouldn't tell you at all?? That's very strange. I know there are some countries where it is illegal to tell you the sex, but I didn't think the UK was one of them. Is this a new thing? Or is it up to the specific hospital?

We found out the sex of miladdo through the NIPT test they did on my missus (a blood test where they screen for Downs - apparently some of the child's dna is in the mum's blood, and can be separated out and tested). But I'm pretty sure they just told us when doing the ultrasounds too. I mean, we already knew by then anyway.

Vesperus · Dzisiaj o 04:59

Clem Fandango powiedział(a):
Really? Wouldn't tell you at all?? That's very strange. I know there are some countries where it is illegal to tell you the sex, but I didn't think the UK was one of them. Is this a new thing? Or is it up to the specific hospital?

We found out the sex of miladdo through the NIPT test they did on my missus (a blood test where they screen for Downs - apparently some of the child's dna is in the mum's blood, and can be separated out and tested). But I'm pretty sure they just told us when doing the ultrasounds too. I mean, we already knew by then anyway.

Probably a local thing. I don't want to overly dox myself, but it wasn't a very white town.

Hence the "daughter had a passport at 2 weeks and we have plane tickets" thing.

She didn't get turned into a kebab, which was my priority.

Smyrna · Dzisiaj o 05:04

Clem Fandango powiedział(a):
Really? Wouldn't tell you at all?? That's very strange. I know there are some countries where it is illegal to tell you the sex, but I didn't think the UK was one of them. Is this a new thing? Or is it up to the specific hospital?

Definitely up to the hospital or perhaps at Trust level - my brother and his wife knew that their latest baby was going to be a boy about 5 months before he arrived. But we all live in a fairly white part of the country. Muslims (and other Thirds) getting sex-selective abortions is a very well-known phenomenon.

-------------------------

If there is going to be any challenge to the Burnham coronation, it appears it will be from Carns, who is still putting out platform/manifesto material on X. There may be enough angry Starmerites left to make it happen, although his chances of actually winning are probably not great.

Clem Fandango · Dzisiaj o 05:04

Vesperus powiedział(a):
Probably a local thing. I don't want to overly dox myself, but it wasn't a very white town.

Hence the "daughter had a passport at 2 weeks and we have plane tickets" thing.

She didn't get turned into a kebab, which was my priority.

Ah right, say no more.

AssignedEva · Dzisiaj o 05:21

Smyrna powiedział(a):
If there is going to be any challenge to the Burnham coronation, it appears it will be from Carns, who is still putting out platform/manifesto material on X. There may be enough angry Starmerites left to make it happen, although his chances of actually winning are probably not great.

I got the impression he had an AI assist with it:

THE FIVE TESTS
For weeks I've argued that this party, and this country, needs a proper debate about where we go next. Not a reshuffle. Not a few degrees of course correction. The big, difficult, honest choices we've spent thirty years avoiding. A few people have asked me what that debate should actually be about. Fair enough. I spent 24 years in the Marines and two in government, and I resigned because I couldn't win the argument I believed in from the inside. So let me make it here, plainly. This isn't a manifesto, but a set of five tests. Anyone asking to lead our country should be able to look down this list and say yes to all five.

⁠The Frontline Test
Do we give the people on the frontline the kit they need to do the job, and stand by them when the job is done? I joined the Marines at 18. I've buried friends. So I do take this one personally. I sat in government and watched us write a defence plan for a world that no longer exists, discussed in rooms I was kept out of. A 100k drone is now sinking warships that cost a billion. That is the reality of the wars being fought right now. Passing this means 3% of GDP as the floor, not the ceiling. Buying for the next war, not the last. And fixing the Legacy Act so blokes in their seventies aren't back in the dock for what they were cleared of decades ago.
The Next-Generation Test
Are we handing the next generation a better deal than the one we inherited, or a worse one? I'm a lad from a tough part of Aberdeen. My mum raised five of us through some bleak years. The only reason I got out was because I was given an opportunity. That cannot be said for young people today. Nearly a million young people, around one in eight, are now outside work, education or training. That isn't their failure. It's ours. Fixing this means a NEETs and youth unemployment target with a date, the youth guarantee delivered not just announced. Restoring the link between work and a decent life for the under 30s, on housing, wages and opportunity. Skills and apprenticeship numbers that beat the last government, not just match it. Talent is everywhere in this country. Opportunity isn't. Fix that and you fix half of everything else...
⁠The Trillion-Pound Test
Is the plan to add a trillion pounds to what Britain earns, or to manage the decline more politely? Here's the lesson I learned from Ukraine and in government, and it never changes. We invent things. Other countries build them. Other countries decide. We're brilliant at the first mile and absent for the next ninety nine. So set a target and be judged on it. A trillion pounds added to our GDP within a decade. Yes, it's ambitious. We should be ambitious! Getting there means backing the high tech inventors just as much as the high street traders. Your local coffee shop shouldn't be paying more tax per cappuccino than Starbucks does. So why on earth do they? It means an industrial strategy worth the name. Things to make and things to sell, in Barrow, in Derby, in every region. Our industrial base is national security, so we should fund it like it. And it means building the chips and the compute here, not inventing the breakthrough and watching someone else scale it. Data is the new gunpowder.
The 10% Test
Can we make the country work 10% better, instead of only ever asking for 10% more? I saw this from the inside. We patch the symptom this year, but the bill grows next year, and we end up paying for failure at the most expensive end of every system. A 10% improvement in outcomes across a handful of our biggest problems, ill health, reoffending, wasted potential, would free up somewhere between £40 and £60 billion a year. We're already paying those costs. We just pay them too late, when they're at their worst. Passing this means investing early instead of paying far more later, and having the honesty to admit that not every pound we spend today delivers an immediate return.
⁠The Lights-On Test
Does our energy policy keep the lights on, the bills down and factories open, or do we keep chasing a target and hope the rest sorts itself out? For years we've treated net zero as the only goal, and everything else, your bill, our industry, whether the grid even stays up, as a problem for later. That’s the wrong way around. Make energy security the goal. Power that people, businesses, and industry can afford, and a grid that stays on when someone tries to switch it off. Do that and net zero follows. Chase the target on its own, and you end up with neither. Passing this means a serious baseload, nuclear and the North Sea, built in time to matter. Strong countries have cheap, secure energy. Weak countries don't.

None of this is complicated. It's the oldest deal there is. You serve the country, the country stands by you. In uniform, in a hospital, in a classroom, on a building site. Right now that deal is broken, and everyone keeping our country going can feel it. That broken deal is the real reason for the frustration out there. It's why trust has drained out of politics. And it's why our party that won a landslide is, halfway through the term, already arguing about who leads it. But changing the person at the top fixes nothing if we don't fix the deal underneath. Swap one leader for another and leave the deal broken, and we'll be right back here in eighteen months, asking the same question all over again. So I'm not interested in who gets what job. I'm interested in whether we've got the courage to pass these tests. We've been promised a debate. This is my opening offer to it. And if that debate ever becomes a contest, it should be fought on this ground, not on personalities. I know where I stand.

But it's actually taking a stance, which is more than we can say for Burnham so far, beyond vague noises around devolution and renationalisation.
Starmerists aren't going to back Al Carns, they wanted to back Darren Grimes as the continuity candidate (and Al Carns resigned from Starmer's cabinet in protest, and this is too radical a departure from Starmerism for them to consider). The rest of the MPs are all aboard the Burnham hype train. I think this is him laying out his stall for the next leadership election.

Otterly · Dzisiaj o 05:29

Clem Fandango powiedział(a):
Really? Wouldn't tell you at all?? That's very strange.

Can confirm, they refused to tell us as well.

Smyrna · Dzisiaj o 05:47

AssignedEva powiedział(a):
they wanted to back Darren Grimes as the continuity candidate

If they aren't keen on Carns, they certainly wouldn't like Darren Grimes. (I know you meant Jones)

I agree that they would not back Carns for ideological reasons, and many may still be upset at his resignation. It ultimately depends on how angry they feel over how Burnham's coronation. If they are determined to throw a spanner in the works, the toolkit is empty except for him.

Heinrich Maneuver · Dzisiaj o 06:43

Two extremely weird videos out of Edinburgh. A woman on fire in the street with passersby failing to put out the flames (X). Some kind of gathering outside Holyrood of young Scottish men, in all black, 'now's the day, now's the hour'. Psy op? Paramilitary? Street performance? Approved protest? (X) What is going on up there? Is the heat getting to the jocks?

the printer is outo fink · Dzisiaj o 06:48

Clem Fandango powiedział(a):
Really? Wouldn't tell you at all?? That's very strange. I know there are some countries where it is illegal to tell you the sex, but I didn't think the UK was one of them. Is this a new thing? Or is it up to the specific hospital?

On the strange things inflicted on us because of other cultures topic, did any of the other women here have to go into a room by themselves just before their wedding, to confirm that they were not being coerced into the marriage? Right before my wedding, my dad was asked to leave the room and my about-to-be-husband prevented from entering, so that the registrars could ask me if I was there of my own free will. I know I looked really taken aback confused as I answered (because I was) and the registrars kind of laughed and said it wasn't really a question for people like me, but they had to ask.

I spent quite a bit of my wedding day, wondering what would have happened if I was a muslim woman who said, 'help-get me out of here.' Would they have locked the door and called the police? Or had they someone on standby outside with a ladder and we'd all have gone out the window into a waiting car. It all felt really performative, tbh, because how many women who are being coerced into marriage are having civil wedding as opposed to being married by an imam or hindu priest?

EddyRooney · Dzisiaj o 06:58

Heinrich Maneuver powiedział(a):
What is going on up there? Is the heat getting to the jocks?

They're still up and pissed from watching the football last night.

UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

EddyRooney

SchizoDaemon

EddyRooney

JosephStalin

Vozhd

UselessRubberKeyboard

Jet Set Neowilly

I'm a Silly

𝕷𝖎𝖉𝖑 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓 𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙

Fun Factory

Otterly

Immerse your soul in love

I'm a Silly

𝕷𝖎𝖉𝖑 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓 𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙

Vesperus

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.

Clem Fandango

Can you hear me?

Vesperus

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.

Smyrna

Clem Fandango

Can you hear me?

AssignedEva

I throw the quesadilla at the wall.

Otterly

Immerse your soul in love

Smyrna

Heinrich Maneuver

it's just you, me and this wire

the printer is outo fink

EddyRooney