Did you just assume my race you fucking scumbag? Are you gonna start being ableist next because of my lazy eye? Maybe I should be going to march with Phil against all you fash-kiwis, turn myself into a super soldier fighting for the rights of ducks.
Seriously though back on topic, I wouldn't say its 100% that Phil wasn't sexually abused at some point, but Daddy Rape Day just doesn't hold water. If a smack on the ass is sexual assault, god forbid the fact that British kids got smacked with a cane at school until the like idk late 1970s? I remember my mum telling me how when she was a kid, her mother made her and her siblings literally go retrieve the bat they would be imminently beaten with when they misbehaved- is that full on rape in comparison to a slap on the ass for being an ass to some neighbourhood kids?
Corporal punishment isn't great in my opinion, but that's another debate in itself. It's not sexual assault tho, it's physical assault of some kind but nothing sexual about it. I mean, you could have taken a punch to the face instead of a slap on the ass if you wanted it to be the furthest away from a sex act as possible, but idk one of those options just seems a lot worse than the other to me...