I can definitely see GK as the type to stick his dick in a vacuum cleaner attachment if he thought it'd feel great. I mean, he's already so open about his masturbation habits and how he can't really control himself because "hormones". I don't think anything would hold him back if he genuinely thought sticking his dick in whatever would get him off faster and easier..
Oh how this reminded me of this particular video. Watch and you'll understand (also warning for some heavy swearing so don't blast this at full volume around children. Especially ones wearing mullets)
It seems Jay is quite the Geek Squad fanboy. It should make things interesting if/when he starts struggling.
In this Hero Team page from March 2012, Hero 3 (who obviously goes to TJ Church's dentist) is awed and overwhelmed to visit "Geek Squad City", "the technological Mecca of our time". Of course there's a cute blonde manager, and some awkward sexual metaphors, but the impression that comes across is that Jay really seems to think Geek Squad are the pinnacle of IT expertise.
Hero 3 seems a better self-insert for Jay than Hero 1, all told.
They're
all basically self-inserts. Like how in Transformers: Animated, Starscream clones himself to create the other Seekers (a.k.a. the group of fighter jet Decepticons Starscream leads who are usually differently painted versions of his toy mold) and each of them is the embodiment of one of his personality's core facets: Cowardace, narcicissm, pathological lying, ass-kissing/suck-up, and
a perpetually angry female. Starscream is the true original, but the group as a whole is just different aspects taken from
one individual as they are molded in his own image. Right down to the token female member of the group who is basically everything GK thinks is what a woman should be.
I give you a month before you're shitcanned.
That's
still a bit longer than his previous job, no? I could be wrong on that, but
that job didn't last long either IIRC.
Oh. My. God. I just love that it's not working at Apple or Microsoft that's the peak of technology. No it's the place your Aunt goes to get her computer screen fixed. Really makes you doubt his certification.
Oh, not even
that. It's the place your aunt goes to get her screen fixed, but what GK seems to blissfully ignore is how more often than not Geek Squad will just send it to an
actual repair workshop center for the manufacturer or Best Buy where you will have no idea what's going on (and they won't either) or if the product you get back is even the original or they just said "fuck it" and swapped the broken one for a fixed one.
Having had to deal first hand with Best Buy practices (sister bought a new laptop this past summer, Lenovo IdeaPad or something, damn thing suddenly can't stay on for five minutes before audibly snapping off the connection without even having been 48 hours since turning it on, so I take it to Best Buy because we have the warranty and they say they'll send it in to be repaired. They give me a tracking code and everything, but three days after THIS happens and the most recent thing on the tracking number is "product recieved for servicing" they call up and say the laptop is irrepairable and they'll give store credit to buy a replacement laptop in-store as they don't have that exact model anymore. So my sister picks out a new laptop - which thankfully she likes a lot better anyway - and everything should be said and done...until a week later when Best Buy calls
again to say the
first laptop is
fixed because
no record whatsoever existed for the in-store crediting and exchange for the second laptop despite the reciept for the second purchase having already been marked on the credit card bill online) I can safely say it's going to be interesting to see what GK thinks of this virtual "dream job" of his.
Jay has such a dim grasp on how computers work that that they really might as well be magic to him at this point. His geek squad worship hilarious and pathetic but makes total sense.
Oh, he knows how computers work, he's A+ certified (somehow) so he knows how to shove RAM onto the well-labeled slot on the motherboard.
He just doesn't know how they
work, as in
what they actually are doing. For example, I'm pretty sure that in the next stream, if somebody asked him some questions he
should know about given that certification, he'd get them dead wrong. Things like:
- what is hyper-threading and does Minecraft need it (if he knows what hyperthreading is and that Minecraft doesn't use it, then it undermines his entire justification for that dumb hex-core)
- how many processes can a processor core handle at a time (if he says anything other than
one process at a time then he doesn't understand how processors work, because in truth; processor cores have only ever been able to do one process before finishing it and taking on another. The only change with time is that the time it takes for the processor to do the most efficent management of process running has been reduced
exponentially such that it
seems like hundreds of processes are being run simultaneously when really it's just one-after-another
really, really fast.)
- what is the difference between the ATX and micro-ATX form factors and why would you choose the latter over the former (answer: micro-ATX is usually the actual standard motherboard in most computers, ATX MB's are like, a square
foot in size. The only other difference beside how large they are comes down to how many RAM and PCI/PCIe card slots are available. Obviously, a full ATX board is only called for in the most monster of all PCs and can only fit in the largest cases, whereas micro-ATX is much more economical and offers more variety in case size)
- how many pins are on the main power cable socket that connects to the motherboard? (this is an easy one - 24 - but if he even needs to look this up or, heaven help us,
count the pins somehow, then this would be a fail on his part)
- how can you tell a tower case from a desktop case? (the former is both a "tower" because it is more vertical than horizontal AND is normally mislabeled as a desktop, whereas the desktop style is more flat like a HEXBOX or other consoles)
- what is the downside to a liquid cooling system? (I had to look this up myself, but while aside from price and logistics, liquid cooled systems do provide a better efficency for cooling down computers that will run hot...on a
piece by piece basis. As in, the thing Jay is thinking he wants? It will cool that hex-core no problem...and
absolutely nothing else. The way liquid cooling seems to work is by heat transference through contact, or more or less keeping a box for the heat to be transfered into, then carried off with the constant flow to the radiator where heat will be dispersed. But this comes at the cost of
no airflow for cooling the rest of the computer which normal fans provide by their very nature. He'll save the processor with the most awesome LED-lit hydro-cooling thing ever...but the titan graphics will still destroy everything because without air current or
something to carry off that heat, his computer will become an
easy bake silicon oven.)
- What is the "BIOS"? (If the first four words of his answer do not include part or all of "Basic Input Output System"
in that exact order, then he doesn't know jack shit about computer operation in the slightest. Because the BIOS of any computer is the
true functioning code that operates the computer, the OS is just the graphic interface of choice that allows for much easier access and use of the computer. If something is wrong with a computer's BIOS, then that computer is
fucked until that problem or problems are resolved, absolutely
no other way around it.)