2014-09-06 Jay writes a song for the CWCki Forums

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Le Bateleur

Le Bateleur

Major Arcana
kiwifarms.net
Dołączono
20 Maj 2014
Hat tip to schiessen, who posted the an update about this in the General thread already. Null is directing us to start a new thread for each update, and given the subject matter this seemed a good update to start with.

The evil Kiwi Farms have got poor Jay's boxer shorts and underwear so rustled that he has to express his anger through...a song for children, apparently. It's about the plot of Myth of the Legendary Warrior, but also about how we're evil trolls and he wants us to "concede" to his "nuclear launch" :tomgirl:

The context for this appears to be that our efforts in spreading the word about Jay's general unpleasantness have borne fruit; a prospective buyer (or perhaps a lucrid troll) emailed Jay about buying a copy of MotLW but expressed concerns about a "character sheet" - no doubt the one which reveals Jay's Mary Sue is a five-year-old sadist with a foot fetish.

In any case, Jay has found the wiki, correctly (amazingly) linked it to the CWCki Forums, and has needed to express his impotent rage through heavy metal lyrics.

If anyone is familiar with Sabaton, perhaps they would be so kind as to confirm whether or not this is a close ripoff of one of their existing songs, or simply a stylistic pastiche.

Nuclear Launch


Nuclear launch detected!

(Instrumental)

'97 in blazes, planets at war
Super-weapons sent to purge the trolls
Death lasers and rockets couldn't smash the door
One final trick, catastrophic tolls

Five year old boy, snarling at fire
With clenched fists and sadistic scowl
He lives to punish crooks dire
Burning them alive, even after throwing the towel!

Get ready for 20 kilotons of doom and awe!

Detected a nuclear launch!
Annihilation!
Strike fast!
Show me that you concede
To my nuclear launch!

Consequences to your actions, have you not seen?
The valley of the banned for aeons to come
"There's something wrong, I'm supposed to be clean!"
"Is there something about nuking the scum?"

Doom and gloom follow in your wake,
All you love gone in mushroom flame,
You sacrifice civility for fun's sake
And plunge your home into shame.

Get ready for 20 kilotons of doom and awe!

Detected a nuclear launch!
Annihilation!
Strike fast!
Show me that you concede
To my nuclear launch!

(Guitar solos!)

"Waa, what ever can I do?"
Detect a nuclear launch!
Show me that you concede
To the nuclear launch!
Annihilation!
Strike fast!
The nuclear launch!

Nuclear Launchby The-Golden-Knight
Literature / Poetry / Children's / Songs & Lyrics©2014 The-Golden-Knight



Another set of first-draft song lyrics that got spurred by Sabaton, this time it is mostly as a way for me to divert my anger due to a "grotesque misunderstanding" about my comic book and an unauthorized wiki. This heavy metal song actually gives the essence of Myth of the Legendary Warrior, believe it or not: lots of explosions, bad guys dying, and the good guys learning that blowing stuff up is *not* always the right answer. So, no mature filter because like myself, I expect my viewers - young and mature alike - to have the guts to deal with such ionizing subject matter.

So what the heck is this doing categorized as "Children's?" Well, Myth of the Legendary Warrior IS supposed to be rated TV-Y7 (even despite its violence), and there isn't any better way to prove it. Intentionally, if you kids can handle the Powerpuff Girls and the Original Star Wars trilogy, you should be fine with Young Guardian facing his greatest dilemma: to nuke or not to nuke.

I will say, based on said misunderstanding, that I have sworn on my soul there is no sexual content in my comic book series! In fact, I have been more afraid that people would react negatively to the violence levels. I mean, it's a series where human bad guys are shot in the face! With *bullets!* Based on my research, this seems to break some kind of cartoon bylaw, to which I say: youtu.be/Hh_gIxTitMM?t=36s Or if you prefer, I think this one is a pinch punnier: youtu.be/73OiRZf7DsM?t=2m19s

So if my writing is all garbage, fine. It was mostly meant for art therapy anyway, to help get the anger out of my system.
 
Absinthe powiedział(a):
In any case, Jay has found the wiki, correctly (amazingly) linked it to the CWCki Forums
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...

Amazingly? There is a page on that wiki that mentions TGK coming to the attention of the CWCki.

EDIT: "ionizing subject matter"? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not how you use the word "ionizing".
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
Absinthe powiedział(a):
Hat tip to schiessen, who posted the an update about this in the General thread already. Null is directing us to start a new thread for each update, and given the subject matter this seemed a good update to start with.

The evil Kiwi Farms have got poor Jay's boxer shorts and underwear so rustled that he has to express his anger through...a song for children, apparently. It's about the plot of Myth of the Legendary Warrior, but also about how we're evil trolls and he wants us to "concede" to his "nuclear launch" :tomgirl:

The context for this appears to be that our efforts in spreading the word about Jay's general unpleasantness have borne fruit; a prospective buyer (or perhaps a lucrid troll) emailed Jay about buying a copy of MotLW but expressed concerns about a "character sheet" - no doubt the one which reveals Jay's Mary Sue is a five-year-old sadist with a foot fetish.

In any case, Jay has found the wiki, correctly (amazingly) linked it to the CWCki Forums, and has needed to express his impotent rage through heavy \M/ETAL lyrics.

If anyone is familiar with Sabaton, perhaps they would be so kind as to confirm whether or not this is a close ripoff of one of their existing songs, or simply a stylistic pastiche.

Nuclear Launch


Nuclear launch detected!

(Instrumental)

'97 in blazes, planets at war
Super-weapons sent to purge the trolls
Death lasers and rockets couldn't smash the door
One final trick, catastrophic tolls

Five year old boy, snarling at fire
With clenched fists and sadistic scowl
He lives to punish crooks dire
Burning them alive, even after throwing the towel!

Get ready for 20 kilotons of doom and awe!

Detected a nuclear launch!
Annihilation!
Strike fast!
Show me that you concede
To my nuclear launch!

Consequences to your actions, have you not seen?
The valley of the banned for aeons to come
"There's something wrong, I'm supposed to be clean!"
"Is there something about nuking the scum?"

Doom and gloom follow in your wake,
All you love gone in mushroom flame,
You sacrifice civility for fun's sake
And plunge your home into shame.

Get ready for 20 kilotons of doom and awe!

Detected a nuclear launch!
Annihilation!
Strike fast!
Show me that you concede
To my nuclear launch!

(Guitar solos!)

"Waa, what ever can I do?"
Detect a nuclear launch!
Show me that you concede
To the nuclear launch!
Annihilation!
Strike fast!
The nuclear launch!

Nuclear Launchby The-Golden-Knight
Literature / Poetry / Children's / Songs & Lyrics©2014 The-Golden-Knight



Another set of first-draft song lyrics that got spurred by Sabaton, this time it is mostly as a way for me to divert my anger due to a "grotesque misunderstanding" about my comic book and an unauthorized wiki. This heavy \M/ETAL song actually gives the essence of Myth of the Legendary Warrior, believe it or not: lots of explosions, bad guys dying, and the good guys learning that blowing stuff up is *not* always the right answer. So, no mature filter because like myself, I expect my viewers - young and mature alike - to have the guts to deal with such ionizing subject matter.

So what the heck is this doing categorized as "Children's?" Well, Myth of the Legendary Warrior IS supposed to be rated TV-Y7 (even despite its violence), and there isn't any better way to prove it. Intentionally, if you kids can handle the Powerpuff Girls and the Original Star Wars trilogy, you should be fine with Young Guardian facing his greatest dilemma: to nuke or not to nuke.

I will say, based on said misunderstanding, that I have sworn on my soul there is no sexual content in my comic book series! In fact, I have been more afraid that people would react negatively to the violence levels. I mean, it's a series where human bad guys are shot in the face! With *bullets!* Based on my research, this seems to break some kind of cartoon bylaw, to which I say: youtu.be/Hh_gIxTitMM?t=36s Or if you prefer, I think this one is a pinch punnier: youtu.be/73OiRZf7DsM?t=2m19s

So if my writing is all garbage, fine. It was mostly meant for art therapy anyway, to help get the anger out of my system.
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...


Why did I read that in his voice? I've got a flippin headache now. :(
 
Well, Myth of the Legendary Warrior IS supposed to be rated TV-Y7 (even despite its violence)...
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...

...That's not how any form of media rating is done. "Well, the Saw series are rated TV-Y7 because they're supposed to be. I mean, I think they're fine as TV-Y7, so that's the rating I've chosen!"

I like how you can tell we touched a twiggy little nerve by his last statement of "yeah well I like my art and I think it's cool. SO THERE."
 
McRascal powiedział(a):
...That's not how any form of media rating is done. "Well, the Saw series are rated TV-Y7 because they're supposed to be. I mean, I think they're fine as TV-Y7, so that's the rating I've chosen!"

I like how you can tell we touched a twiggy little nerve by his last statement of "yeah well I like my art and I think it's cool. SO THERE."
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...

I'd also like to point out that's how CWC rates his stuff too :S what is it with lolcows and that specific rating system? Why do they latch onto it?
 
MisterMuggles powiedział(a):
Amazingly? There is a page on that wiki that mentions TGK coming to the attention of the CWCki.

EDIT: "ionizing subject matter"? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not how you use the word "ionizing".
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...
Jay is incredibly naive and lazy, and he simply can't stand to read any kind of criticism. Unlike Chris, who still lurks to try and find out what the dirty trolls are plotting, Jay just doesn't engage. For instance, he has no idea why his stream audience wanted him to draw a bent duck, or why he was gifted Five Frights at Denny's. A cursory read of his subforum would give the answers. So I was really surprised Jay read/comprehended enough of the wiki to link it back here.

And yes, Jay should have used "polarizing" rather than "ionizing".

wheat pasta powiedział(a):
I'd also like to point out that's how CWC rates his stuff too :S what is it with lolcows and that specific rating system? Why do they latch onto it?
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...
Good observation. Another lolcow, Iconoclast, specifically blames the TV rating system for ruining his life. Not sure as to why, maybe something about it is particularly interesting to some autistic people?
 
And there it is: Evidence that we've finally burrowed beneath the gold-spraypainted armor.
 
wheat pasta powiedział(a):
I'd also like to point out that's how CWC rates his stuff too :S what is it with lolcows and that specific rating system? Why do they latch onto it?
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...

I think it has to do with the ego and the 'I'm never wrong about anything I do' mentality. Jay obviously is obsessed with sex and his foot fetish. Instead of just not adding it, he spams his own stories with it to make himself feel better. Same as OPL; he wanted Sonichu pr0n so he added it. When they add that stuff, they think they have a good intention or reason to add it that people just keep 'misunderstanding.' Violence, gore and sex is only okay when THEY write it in. It's much easier to deny everything instead of Jay going, "My story is TV-Y7... even though I add a ton of sex scenes and boobs and my foot fetish in it because I'm a hypocritical creep."
 
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