DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Flavius Anthemius]

The problem is that DSP doesn't realize that he's a window licker. If you ever watch one of his playthroughs like New Vegas where he has to make his own character based on himself, he always puts the intelligence up because he legitimately thinks he's smart.

If you put a game in front of Phil and had a "retard dogshit" mode, he still wouldn't pick it because he doesn't see a problem. The issues are always with the game and never with himself, so he would never degrade himself by lowering the game into a "guided" mode.

It's the same as Arin Dumbshit Hanson. If the game gives you a long winded tutorial they get frustrated and try to push through it, and complain that the game isn't fun. If the game tries to guide them naturally, they complain that nothing is working and that they don't know what to do.

At the end of the day, they're streamers. They shouldn't be expected to be good, but they should be expected to be entertaining. That's where a lot of streamers go wrong, they try to rush through games and get everything done as fast as possible. Good streamers will actually fuck around in the game and try to make sure that the stream has a good time.

It's like back in the old days where you would play San Andreas with friends and would just roam around in the woods instead of doing missions because things that come naturally and more entertaining.

Also I don't think if you're having problems playing a video game or a struggling in a particular section of what ever part you're playing, there is no shame in stopping and looking for help if you genuinely can't figure out how to progress, and you've tried every possible method of figuring the road block out.

BUUUHT, the big difference with Phil is that you will almost find with him that every single time he is hardly ever willing to admit that he will ever make a mistake or screw up, and that he will make excuses for it and not admit that he couldn't figure something out or instead of saying he didn't know/didn't do that he would then point the finger at someone/something else (like his usual blame game) for something that he didn't do (I pressed JUMP, I was pressing block, WUUUT, the game unequipped my shield!, this is fucking stoopid! etc.), when in actuality it was always because he was fumbling around not paying any attention to what he's supposed to do in the first place.

There is a reason as to why people have made so many of those TIHYDPs over the years and they have always dwarfed the number of views compared to Phil's normal uploads of those game, because his vindication for his poor and misguided gameplay is absolutely laughable and he is still after all these years still so terrible at playing most games with even a hint of challenge and difficultly, unless he's handheld and gets given a guide on a special silver platter of course, but that just makes him look like the baseline nonentity streamer who's never touched a tough video game ever, completely tarnishing his legacy as the self proclaimed title as "The King of Retro" or more appropriately adorned for his tastes "The King of Classic".

 

[DerkleHerkle]

Also I don't think if you're having problems playing a video game or a struggling in a particular section of what ever part you're playing, there is no shame in stopping and looking for help if you genuinely can't figure out how to progress, and you've tried every possible method of figuring the road block out.

BUUUHT, the big difference with Phil is that you will almost find with him that every single time he is hardly ever willing to admit that he will ever make a mistake or screw up, and that he will make excuses for it and not admit that he couldn't figure something out or instead of saying he didn't know/didn't do that he would then point the finger at someone/something else (like his usual blame game) for something that he didn't do (I pressed JUMP, I was pressing block, WUUUT, the game unequipped my shield!, this is fucking stoopid! etc.), when in actuality it was always because he was fumbling around not paying any attention to what he's supposed to do in the first place.

There is a reason as to why people have made so many of those TIHYDPs over the years and they have always dwarfed the number of views compared to Phil's normal uploads of those game, because his vindication for his poor and misguided gameplay is absolutely laughable and he is still after all these years still so terrible at playing most games with even a hint of challenge and difficultly, unless he's handheld and gets given a guide on a special silver platter of course, but that just makes him look like the baseline nonentity streamer who's never touched a tough video game ever, completely tarnishing his legacy as the self proclaimed title as "The King of Retro" or more appropriately adorned for his tastes "The King of Classic".

100%, it's totally fine to admit that you have no idea what you're supposed to do in a game and need help. Games aren't always perfect and sometimes you just miss something obvious.

What happens when Phil gets stuck:

1. "This is bullshit, what the fuck am I supposed to do?"
2. Looks across at chat
3. Leans in
4. Squints
5. "OK, let's try this"
6. Solution works
7. "Ah heuuuh!"
8. Smug look and pats himself on the back for figuring it out

 

[Nixxit]

"so if you have a bunch of little things rendering on screen, it increases the bit-rate limitation and gets all pixalted"

increases the bit-rate limitation? what the fuck does that mean? it increases the limit for bit-rate?

I think he meant "reaches" instead of "increases" and then it makes sense, at least from my understanding of how videos are encoded - I'm not entirely sure this applies to streaming, though.

A lot of modern video encoding is based on "hard coded" key frames that are then distorted to produce the following frames (That's why you sometimes have these artifacts where the image is all f#cked up but you can still clearly see a human shape moving; The key frame was corrupted but the distortion is still happening as intended, hence why it still looks like a human moving).

The problem with this method is that if you have a lot of small details popping in and out, there is scarcely any possibility of distorting a frame into the next (Because the "material" to distort into the new detail isn't there), so the encoding loses a lot of efficiency and consequently lowers quality if using a constant bitrate. A typical example of this effect is when it is snowing, or confettis are dropping, or some such.

 

[Penix]

Still need to read up on a few pages, sorry if mentioned before, but I'm thoroughly confused by that GDC clip.
They go on a whole spiel about "shock crystals" and how it indicates there is side quest-like content available, yet they chose Phil the most unenthusiastic way saying "we're back" twice.
How in the fuck does this clip even relate to what the guy is talking about? It feels more like Dora the explorer than intuitive gamer moment™

It's pretty hilarious they blurred the facecam though, it's a clip on one of the infamous scorching days in Washington where the light from the window light up Phil's droopy jowls in the most uncanny way.
Wouldn't want to horrify your audience with that.

 

[Detractor#38657]

The fact he can't see the irony in him complaining about those devs commentating on his gameplay while he makes his own living commentating on gameplay is par for the course with this fucking moron.

He really thinks that him snorting and belching as he fumbles through a game, making absolutely no insightful comments, providing no unique strategy, and showing no skill at all, is somehow "content" which holds actual value.

And if someone calls him out for being as boring as a shit stack or asks why streams have been slow lately then it's entirely the games fault; pretty much admitting that he brings nothing to the table and his streams are all about being entertained by the gameplay along with him (sooo, piracy?). Disregarding his statements that people come to the stream to see him have fun because when the fuck has that ever been the case.

 

[San Dimas High School]

Why does this freak lie about the weirdest shit like this when his entire life is documented online?

Because those twitter posts are just his sad attempt at marketing. Like everything else he does those tweets are 0 effort, just the worst pablum. It's less a lie and more not caring enough to remember.

 

[Michael Richards]

i normally find it unfair to critique streamers for being bad at games because it seems pretty hard to be entertaining and conversational while focusing on fine motor tasks but in phil's case he doesnt even fucking bother to try the first part so i think he is just retarded yeah. the mental decline is astounding and i wonder if its from prolonged social isolation or alcohol abuse.

 

[Coke Zero]

Something something "shills". Something something "I'm an honest guy" and "not a professional SF player anymore". Really, if someone had the initiative, you could construct an AI that would spit out DSP answers, and they'd 100% mirror what Phil was going to say.

I never understood why dsp called himself a pro player or a former pro player- "pro" implies getting paid. Dsp was never paid to play fighting games was he? Did he ever have a sponsorship or play in and win tournaments with cash prizes?

 

[PyroAlert]

Why doesn’t Phil just do one 8 hour stream? He could do 11 AM to 7 PM and then have a couple of hours to spend with his wife. He could just make the tips goal for the entirety of the 8 hours $200. Why must everything be as difficult or stupid as possible with Phil?

How many bouts of diarrhea do you guys think the special, authentic, custom, gourmet, historically accurate sauce will cause Phil?

 

[Philly May Lyrus]

hey man, i make 9$ a month on patreon, i don't need financial advice.

Thank you for the giggle...had a crappy night. You went to the PP Burnell Enterprises school of business finances didn't you?

He’s like an Indian.

“SIR, please send the tip via Western Union or MoneyGram.”

Someone did bait him into accepting a possible(troll) Western Union transfer lol. With Daves love of gacha and hard to trace monies, I'm surprised he hasn't asked for apple itunes gift cards like his computer scammer friends in Calcutta.

i normally find it unfair to critique streamers for being bad at games because it seems pretty hard to be entertaining and conversational while focusing on fine motor tasks but in phil's case he doesnt even fucking bother to try the first part so i think he is just retarded yeah. the mental decline is astounding and i wonder if its from prolonged social isolation or alcohol abuse.

I've thought about his mental decline as well and think you came to a similar conclusion. I can only imagine how much he drinks a day...a 750ml bottle isn't out of the question for me. With his own mental issues and most likely not receiving any help the isolation probably has done some crazy things to him. Heck, I nearly went crazy with the first several months of stay at home orders during Conora...can you imagine what 6 years or so will do to you? I bet Dave is past the Wilson the volleyball phase lol. With the walls of his kingdom slowly decaying, much like his muscles, Dave is not able to keep his game face on. The dude his F*cking miserable. Also, a bit unrelated but the only "food" khet thee stallion can probably shop for on her own is bottles of Tangueray for Dave because he is too lazy to hit up a liquor store.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Why doesn’t Phil just do one 8 hour stream? He could do 11 AM to 7 PM and then have a couple of hours to spend with his wife. He could just make the tips goal for the entirety of the 8 hours $200. Why must everything be as difficult or stupid as possible with Phil?

How many bouts of diarrhea do you guys think the special, authentic, custom, gourmet, historically accurate sauce will cause Phil?

He can't work 8 whole hours, he would put his health at risk.

 

[tzgnilki]

I never understood why dsp called himself a pro player or a former pro player- "pro" implies getting paid. Dsp was never paid to play fighting games was he? Did he ever have a sponsorship or play in and win tournaments with cash prizes?

he has a tekken 3 mall tournament trophy to prove he was a pro

on a more serious note, some autist compiled a list of tournaments he went to

 

[fuckshitsnake]

i just can't imagine how dsp treats his wife considering how he treats the people who pay him over 100k yearly

My instinctive thought was to make a typical "Phil beats his wife" joke but frankly if there was domestic violence happening in the pig palace it would definitely be Kat (tag teamed with Jasper) beating Phil instead.

 

[Forbidden Math]

I never understood why dsp called himself a pro player or a former pro player- "pro" implies getting paid. Dsp was never paid to play fighting games was he? Did he ever have a sponsorship or play in and win tournaments with cash prizes?

No, and he's clarified this in other videos saying "You couldn't be a pro player back then, it just wasn't an option". I call bullshit on that but it was back when EVO was a lot smaller (hence why Phil was even able to get that 4th place).

TL;DR he says he was a former pro player to stroke his ego, just like pretty much everything else he says. He does the same thing with his streaming by calling it "meaningful content" whatever the fuck that means.

In truth he just fucked around with street fighter, then fucked around with a camcorder on the internet.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

My instinctive thought was to make a typical "Phil beats his wife" joke but frankly if there was domestic violence happening in the pig palace it would definitely be Kat (tag teamed with Jasper) beating Phil instead.

It is really bizarre in that they both seem to be controlling eachother. Kat being moved across the country to cook and not being allowed an online presence would usually be a major red flag. But his new puritanical attitude towards sex and attractive women suggests she wears the trousers and he's terrified of her leaving.

 

[Vic Viper T301]

Does your game:

• Have a moderate to high level of difficulty?
• Take away some resources from the player upon death?
• Have visible checkpoints?
• Have "lore" in the story? (Lore is defined as any story details that are not directly explained to the player in the form of a cutscene)

If the answer to at least one of these questions is yes, congratulations, your game is now Dark Souls.

 

[King of Not Playing Games]

The fact he can't see the irony in him complaining about those devs commentating on his gameplay while he makes his own living commentating on gameplay is par for the course with this fucking moron.

He really thinks that him snorting and belching as he fumbles through a game, making absolutely no insightful comments, providing no unique strategy, and showing no skill at all, is somehow "content" which holds actual value.

I also just realized the speaker is Rob Davis, lead level designer on God of War. So DSP, this greasy car-salesman motherfucker wants to be able to make money off of playing a video game, but doesn't want the makers of that game to be able to show a 12 second clip of his gameplay of their game for the purposes of educating game designers. Not making money off him. Just teaching people how to make good games. Something he, as a content creator, should want! People who made good games teaching other people the principles! But no, it's all about "illegal" this and "lawyer" that and mewling about how he doesn't get his cut.

It's indescribable to me how disgusted this makes me. He's just the sleaziest motherfucker to come into contact with oxygen. The amount of nerve he has to walk around like up is down and his worldview is the "objectively better" one. There's no one this moron wouldn't mistreat to add another dollar into his PayPal account.

EDIT: And the comment section of that video:

 

[BarbatosRex]

No, and he's clarified this in other videos saying "You couldn't be a pro player back then, it just wasn't an option". I call bullshit on that but it was back when EVO was a lot smaller (hence why Phil was even able to get that 4th place).

Phil only got 4th even then cause most big name players boycotted the shitty port of Super Turbo they were playing, and Alex Valle who was going to play couldn't make it to the event.

Phil's entire FGC "legacy" amounts to the same level of luck that made him popular on YouTube.

 

[actually]

i just can't imagine how dsp treats his wife considering how he treats the people who pay him over 100k yearly

He's a total pussy IRL, so it wouldn't be remotely the same.

 

[snort inquisition]

He's a total pussy IRL, so it wouldn't be remotely the same.

it would absolutely be, just passive aggressive and not as outwardly toxic

there would still be all the memory holing, gaslighting, etc etc, gotta feel bad for kat honestly, for more than one reason