💼 Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

Fine, I can do another section of this shit today. I admittedly don't want to right now, but fuck it c'est la vie:

To quote that great philosopher, Superfly Johnson: "brother, take it easy!" This ain't worth burning out on.

(And that bit of level "walkthrough" reminded me painfully of that time in junior high when we had to give a presentation on our favorite subject and one kid spent ten soul-breakingly boring minutes reading off hockey stats. I haven't thought of that kid in literal decades but one bit of bloated Bob text brought it all back in sharp focus.)

 

[BScCollateral]

How old was he when he had this crisis?

I remember being sad when I found out the robot in Lost in Space was a guy in a costume. I was four, maybe five.

 

[Walrus and Carpenter]

Okay, what the fuck is that even supposed to be? Nothing like a toast, rice, and pound of watery ground beef sandwich, all seasoned with absolutely nothing.

Don't cook your ground beef in a high sided pan, you are just going to end up not evaporating any liquid and boiling it.

He's cooking that beef "Kengel-style."

 

[KillEmAll1989]

So where does he fall on the Israel/Palestine thing? On the one hand, Biden, Kamala, Schumer, and Pelosi (all of whole he worships) obviously lean towards Israel. Meanwhile the Squad/Twitter Commies & Troons (who he also worships) fucking hate Israel and want to give it the SA treatment…

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Ngô is a journalist.
Bob is a fat man from Boston who calls himself a journalist.

I'll leave it to you to decide which one is more worthy of being made fun of.

 

[Laughingjoke2]

One step closer to that superior future prophesized in WALL-E

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1394451189660626945

https://archive.ph/kQJvl

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Kept in Sean's tweet because I thought it was actually funny, something Bob knows nothing about.

Blobby I'm a Mayo Ghoul by your "superior standards" and even I know instead of spending an insane amount of money on some gimmicky fridge that comes to you. You could just do what I did in my 20's and buy a cheap mini fridge and use it for a stand next to the sofa.

 

[EnemyStand]

Being the immature autist he is, he's getting quite the shock that The Mouse can't make money, because to him, the company isn't just too big to fail, it's too PROGRESSIVE and MAGICAL and IMPORTANT TO HISTORY to fail. Things that aren't even ECONOMICAL arguments, if the Sheriff shows up to auction off Chipman Manor to pay outstanding debts, you can't chase him off with any argument about the inherent moral vigor of those who live there surely means society owes them total debt forgiveness...

This too big to fail shit is how we got into this mess in the first place. Let the Mouse fall. Shatter the world of the man and womanchildren. "Look on my works ye mighty, and despair." Indeed.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Bob getting dunked on, again

https://twitter.com/Lefty_Jew/status/1394692397234147330

And to be fair, here's the full context of the Bob tweet

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1370572676973137920

The thing is, the inside humor wasn't so retardedly on the goddamned nose and in your face that even an unsocialized autist such as Bob would be able to go "I understood that reference" as they die from an aneurysm when they realize they made an Avengers reference. When you know about it, yes it's obvious, but Shrek was well written and clever and didn't make the tearing down of the mouse front and center. Double thing is, no one would be dumb enough to try to make what Bob suggests. It's the equivalent of saying "They should make the next Jurassic Pak where all the dinosaurs have the park goers pay taxes because nature is the one with the real power. SIKE! That idea is dumb and is why no one remember that theme of the story but only special effects"

None of this matters because nothing Bob could ever come up with for Shrek would come close to what one shitposter did for Shrek.

This has nothing to do with Bob or any arguments for or against his ideas but I'll take whatever chance I get to share this with anyone who hasn't seen it.

 

[Mola Ram]

This has nothing to do with Bob or any arguments for or against his ideas but I'll take whatever chance I get to share this with anyone who hasn't seen it.

I dunno, it seems pretty close to Bob's relationship with Mario.

 

[Oats12345]

I dunno, it seems pretty close to Bob's relationship with Mario.

You know I was picturing this with Bob and Mario. It just fits

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

I scrolled back the past few days to find who originally linked this but couldn't find it so no credit for you. Sorry it was @make_it_so

Is Chris still trying to hawk that signed copy of The Last Blockbuster? I ask because last night I came across a lengthy review that shitted on both the documentary and Blockbuster as a whole.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jfJ0zv7j3XIIt's from those Hack the Movies people that have collaborated with James Rolfe.

This is the Hack the Movies crew/troupe/whatever talking about Chris's favoritest movie ever which he has both a signed and unsigned copy of which could be your but only if we get 150 subscribers and their utter disdain for it/the consoomers.

Is there anything that describes Chris better than this?
tfw you no dat nerd he talkin' bout

 

[Oats12345]

Question does Bob know Mario is just a fictional character or does he think he is a real person? I honeslty can't tell

 

[Mr._Blonde]

I dunno, it seems pretty close to Bob's relationship with Mario.

Oh lovely. Now I can picture him saying "Itsa Mario!" while he's plowing into Blobbo. With him biting the pillow and with tears in his eyes. And a smile.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Oh lovely. Now I can picture him saying "Itsa Mario!" while he's plowing into Blobbo. With him biting the pillow and with tears in his eyes. And a smile.

...I could feel his Bing-Bing wahoo deep inside of me and I collapsed. The plumber of my dreams pulled out his super shroom leaving my prolapsed anus in the air. The breeze from my box fan made it whistle like one of those old timey whiskey jars. Mario picked up his coveralls and began a triple jump out of the window, out of my life. I cried out "Will you please stay with me?" . He preformed a wall kick and landed right next to my bed. The scent of my warp pipe clung to him like a baby blooper. He pulled up the covers over my shoulder, patted me on the head and whispered "The Princess is in another castle. So long gay Bowser."

Mario is superior
Mario is subsistence

 

[Bland Crumbs]

Bobby, on his own irrelevance:
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Diabetes is not an "ethnicity".

Niggardly take on Peter Coffin, again.
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MovieBob invented MCU criticism. MovieBob invented atheism. See how cheap this take is?
(Ruki Tanuki followed this up with a prose that rival Bobby's in sheer inscrutability. I swear this shit is contagious.)

Glenn "G*m*rg*te" Greenwald:
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You know why Bobby remains Bobby? Because he is incapable to learn from experience. He fails to reason that just as shilling for Zoe Cunt and her attack-dog jouros didn't get him laid last time, shilling for libtard journos will not get him laid either.

In addition to the ignorant hate-filled assholes who have killed 600,000 and counting, Bobby wants to round up the ignorant hate-filled assholes who have not killed anyone yet. His Overladies assured him doing so will make the world a better place:
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Mirroring Bobby, Glenn Greenwald's not been fired. On the contrary, his audience is bigger than ever:
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You joke now, but remember Bobby, as a white man you'll be the first to be turned into biofuel.
(Outkick article)

Your daily litany about GOP being evil:
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Surprise! Not even being a nignog would save you from the poison of white supremacy, because according to Bobby, the root of white supremacy is religion Christianity.
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Fox news. I don't bother to find the segment he mentions:
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+ + + +
Bobby and co. want something supergay from Zack Synder. "Even if it was TERRIBLE it would've been amazing!"
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Amazon plans to buy up MGM. Bobby sounds surprisingly unexcited:
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MCU:
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Nignog culturally-appropriate European swordplay:
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Consoom:
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This is what Chris cooks in his newly-refurbished kitchen:
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HOT TAKE PARADE:

The reason Boob cannot go long into a business discussion where he is paying a crackwhore for a blowjob someone to do something is because he is so insecure that he has to remind people(especially himself) that he is the boss.

Dunkin Donuts is dogshit coffee for people who do not know better(or are in a rush and we know that is not Boob). Just make your own damn coffee Boob or do a local shop the favor of trying their almost certainly superior brew.

Boob Troon Arc when? It starts with a craving for gay porn and from there the HRT flows.

There what is Boob? Your job is to criticize entertainment with brilliant insights. "There it is" is weak even for him.

Delightful used unironically. Okay I was joking about the Troon Arc but...

Here we have Boob lusting after black cock.

Delightful again.

Boob ever the manchild is desirous of a toy that tells him how to create things so he can feel like he is creative. I think we all know Boob will never buy that as it would require him to put it together.

Of course it has one of those super trendy low effort backsplashes. So we have baked beans, a vat of ground beef(80-20 I am sure), and grilled cheese or is that just bread he is toasting in a pan for no apparent reason? I am sure there is some kind of explanation for that assortment but I do not want to hear it.

 

[Pastor Martin Ssempa]

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Diabetes is not an "ethnicity".

This is what Chris cooks in his newly-refurbished kitchen:
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BOBNESS IMPRISONING ME
ALL THAT I SEE
ABSOLUTE HORROR
I CANNOT LIVE
I CANNOT DIE
TRAPPED IN MYSELF
BASEMENT MY HOLDING CELL

BEETUS HAS TAKEN MY FEET etc

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

BOBNESS IMPRISONING ME
ALL THAT I SEE
ABSOLUTE HORROR
I CANNOT LIVE
I CANNOT DIE
TRAPPED IN MYSELF
BASEMENT MY HOLDING CELL

BEETUS HAS TAKEN MY FEET etc

For whom the Taco Bell tolls?

 

[MirrorNoir]

Couldn’t they work out a deal like Sony did with Spider-Man?

They only could do that for Spider-Man because A. The existing deal with Spider-Man was largely one sided to favor Marvel, whereas Universal's deal with Hulk favors them way more and B. Sony fucked up shit badly with the Garfield Spider-Man films, to make them have to play ball with Marvel whereas Universal does well enough that they can let Marvel "borrow" Hulk, since they have no plans for the character anyway as a solo film after the Lee film underperformed and the Norton-starring Hulk film flopped.

 

[Positron]

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

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Let me guess: his wife isn't impressed with his guzzling $14 craft beers and flogging his worthless podcast when he could be working overtime to fix the gaping hole in the budget left when he tried and failed to get one over on the IRS? I mean, a sizable percentage of all marriages do break up over money, after all, and he's been broadcasting their household's financial problems to the uncaring world.