Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Ihavetinyweewee]

I don't like her as an actress, she's really bad at it and I loathe her character, but I don't have anything against Daisy Ridley personally and she's had her interesting moments, but seriously though, her grin weirds me the fuck out.

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Its hard for me to grasp her acting ability.

She doesn't have much to work with. I can say that Boyega has more screen presence and Driver has more range.

But, I've never seen a film(outside of Star Wars)with her in it. Has anybody?

Her mouth is just too big for her face. I would say she could probably suck a mean dick. But, I would be terrified with her chompers...

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

It's something about the shape of her face, I think. She looks enough like a guy I know (to the point where if I saw them together, I'd assume they were brother and sister) that I get a feeling of deja vu watching her, even though I know there's no connection.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

I wish I had seen this sooner.

Hurricane Dorian threatens Disney World at the worst possible time for Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

As Florida braces for Dorian to make landfall, Disney World’s new Hollywood Studios attraction Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge faces a cancellation nightmare.

www.fastcompany.com

Motley Fool: "Galaxy's Edge can't fail."
God: "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Titanic the Unsinkable?"

There's a bunch of news about how lame Galaxy's Edge is. I did a breakdown of the park in May starting around page 500 of this thread if you're interested where I even talked about shit no one else online was covering.

https://kiwifarms.pl/threads/star-wars-griefing-thread-formerly-about-last-jedi.32492/page-500

Nah dude, you weren't there at 4am in Florida. Galaxy's Edge was packed! It wasn't a failure after all:

What about this. What if Episode IX comes out and it sucks, and then Star Wars takes a break. And then Disney announces a new Star Wars movie directed by George Lucas? Or produced by George Lucas? Maybe that could save the day.

I'd expect it to do about as well as Terminator: Dark Fate will in November.

There's no telling if he'll even be around by then. Lucasfilm's a shell of it's former glory. Unless they can find another George or bring together the same kind of people he did in the 80s and 90s, it'll continue to stagnate while more and more people move on. They've lost the next generation and alienated the older ones, but I would love to see a miracle.

There was some excitement recently about LucasGames being renewed or something like that, but I don't remember the details. Of course that triggers fuzzy nostalgia about Monkey Island, Sam & Max, and the plethora of excellent Star Wars games that either padded out the movies or expanded on the EU, so I'll welcome that sort of renaissance with open arms, but both the film and the game industry seem to be going to shit lately, so maybe not for a while.

Its hilarious to think that there are Disney employees being forced to browse through every shitpost response to the leaks, but frankly if there is such a thing going on, they're only like browsing Twitter, Facebook and Reddit.

We already know the FBI browses 4chan, so I wouldn't put it past Lucasfilm employing somebody like a Jason Ward or some other shitstirrer to keep tabs on the online discourse and occasionally engage in homosexual enterprises.

According to Lucasfilm, this is the face Han made when Kyle Ren was born...

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Now that's a face.

Is it just me or is it weird how much Spielberg shills for JJ and the fact that they look alike? I mean would JJ even have the attention and influence he has now if not for Spielberg and his own family ties?

I heard the only reason Anthony Ingruber was passed over (heh) for Solo was because Spielberg's daughter begged him have Alden Ehrenreich cast instead. For a movie he should have no involvement in whatsoever, he's got some pull apparently. Damn shame, too:

I hated all the elite fartsniffing takes people had when justifying why Anthony Ingruber shouldn't have been the obvious choice. Mostly from folks like Bryan "Get'em while they're" Young and other Twitter dipshits. "Oh, they didn't just want a Harrison Ford impression, they wanted someone to do their own take." Well they can do their takes licking my nuts. If Solo had ANY chance of not being such a catastrophic flop, it was with Ingruber becoming their new Harrison Ford. He could've gone on to doing new Indiana Jones flicks, maybe even rivaling a hypothetical Uncharted movie series. But I can already see the hot take headlines: "Anthony Ingruber is a bad choice for Indiana Jones because it's so predictable and old hat. We need him to be a black transgender woman in a wheelchair."

These companies need to stop paying attention to mainstream media. Nothing made for them sells.

At least he wasn't Shroedinger'd like fucking Dash Rendar was.

Speaking of beloved EU characters getting axed/blacked/whatever, I really enjoyed this video from EC Henry, because it basically obliterates the point of Rogue One's premise:

Which is great for me, because I'd much rather just cut to the chase with the Dark Forces explanation of how the Rebels got the plans (one absolute badass drops into their secret moon base and fucking steals it) and then go straight into General Rom Mohc and his Dark Troopers.

God I love that game. You get to run around at light speed without having to be a Jedi and fight the Star Wars equivalent of Terminators while your cute Asian space waifu drives your getaway ship.

 

[Creep3r]

Motley Fool: "Galaxy's Edge can't fail."
God: "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Titanic the Unsinkable?"

Nah dude, you weren't there at 4am in Florida. Galaxy's Edge was packed! It wasn't a failure after all: https://youtube.com/watch?v=nAZ7p27YEcM

Things seem to be only getting worse for them.

I heard the only reason Anthony Ingruber was passed over (heh) for Solo was because Spielberg's daughter begged him have Alden Ehrenreich cast instead. For a movie he should have no involvement in whatsoever, he's got some pull apparently. Damn shame, too:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vwLv993khfI

IKR? Its like that old South Park parody that portrayed Spielberg as having an unholy control over George and Lucasfilm. It gets even weirder with how JJ only got his gig with Disney because Spielberg kept telling George and Disney to put JJ in charge of VII, and Kennedy's stand within Lucasfilm is only because of her ties to Spielberg. And then there's the preview of GE which only Iger, Kennedy, JJ and SPIELBERG attended, yet George, Mark nor anyone else related to SW was invited for the preview, with George, Mark, Ford and Billy Dee only being invited for the opening ceremony. For someone who has no official ties to the new SW films, Spielberg seems to have a disturbing amount of influence. Also if you're interested in a deconstruction of RO, here's another good one.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

Geez. I never realized the reason Star Wars under Disney was fucked in the first place was because of Spielberg. In that case, I guess it didn't matter who George sold Lucasfilm to if he was going to be pulling strings to get what he wanted.

What must he be thinking seeing the failure he's wrought so far? "Is this my fault? Ah who gives a shit, I'm rich bitch."

Also if you're interested in a deconstruction of RO, here's another good one.

It's like watching Rogue One in 1 hour and 31 minutes:

Spoiler

I'd watch it again. Good stuff. Makes me want to wait less to see YT Land react to Episode IX

 

[Tookie]

I'm almost certain the plan with Solo was that the film was supposed to succeed, because oh hey everybody loves Han Solo right? So, basically make him into space Indiana Jones (he kinda was already and not just because the same actor played both characters in the 70s and 80s). It was blatantly obvious they were going this route by setting up the Crimson Dawn or whoever being led by Darth Maul as kind of a mini-empire of crime lords for Han to tangle with in the future, complete with sexual tension with Qi'lara who was ultimately disposable because we all know Han eventually hooks up with Leia. And Enfys Nest hanging around sometimes because Enfys Nest was kind of hyped up as kind of a Boba Fett type IIRC.

Yeah, which I think would have been a good template if they had tried basing them on an original character instead of assuming anyone wanted to see young Han Solo and had picked an older actor with more gravitas than Alden Ehrenreich as the lead. Hell, Donald Glover could have worked.

 

[Notgoodwithusernames]

God I love that game. You get to run around at light speed without having to be a Jedi and fight the Star Wars equivalent of Terminators while your cute Asian space waifu drives your getaway ship.

She’s a better driver than Rose Tico

 

[Creep3r]

Got a new shitty spoiler. Apparently there will be Shit Troopers that can fly.



And speaking of Shit Troopers.

There's also some buzz going on over a tweet from some guy called ViewerAnon who seems to be a trusted leaker of some kind. Possibly one of those guys who got a chance to see one of the previews of the film a few months back? I think I talked about that one and mentioned that those who saw the preview mentioned that Rose was hardly in it. Here's the tweet:

Twitter

Anyway the leak claims that IX will just a be fusion between ROTJ and The Farce Awakens, mostly just being a repeat of ROTJ but with elements referencing TFA, which seem believable since this is JJ we're talking about.

Finally here's a deleted reddit post from 6 months ago which posts some things from the recent leak (which were also mentioned in the 4chan leaks from 5 months ago too).

Removeddit

removeddit.com

Leak One: Han will appear to Kylo Ren at some point as a vision and it will set him off into a fit of rage.
(Was mentioned in the last leak, but the leak says that Kylo turns good after this)
Leak Two: Luke, as a force ghost, will catch Anakins lightsaber when Rey throws it at him. Its almost the antithesis of the TLJ moment. It shocks Rey.
(Haven't seen this anywhere)
Leak Three: Palpatine will be back in some form. I guess he has been filmed BUT I have no idea if thats a flashback, force ghost, etc.
(Every leak has said this)
Leak Four: In the beginning of the film, Leia will somehow be training Rey a little.
(Sort of confirmed via the new trailer)

Any thoughts?

God I love that game. You get to run around at light speed without having to be a Jedi and fight the Star Wars equivalent of Terminators while your cute Asian space waifu drives your getaway ship.

She’s a better driver than Rose Tico

Katarn was just an all around badass. But what really stuck out for me were the Dark Troopers.

Imagine these fuckers just going all 40k on the galaxy.

 

[HeyYou]

At least he wasn't Shroedinger'd like fucking Dash Rendar was.

At least Dash wasn't replaced with a Mexican dude like Kyle was. I'm pouring a drink out for losing his games too.

I'll give credit where credit is due, though, Death Troopers are a pretty badass nod to Dark Troopers.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Im still mad they killed my nigga starkiller and threw both his games into the garbage while also replacing him with YES QWEEN SLAYYY

The second game was horrible, though.

 

[Jaimas]

As I've said time and time again, the EU represented literally decades of market research. There is enough tested IP in the EU to support just about anything you want. Ditch all the Baraka stuff, Sun Crusher, and Crystal Star-level cringe. Do a Mara Jade spinoff in the Galactic Empire Era, adapt the Thrawn trilogy, do some Rouge Squadron, fuck it, some of the Jedi Academy series is worth re-tooling! They would have printed money from the loyal fanbase and even normies would have enjoyed such solid stories.

Instead we get Rey 'Troutmouth' Sue and Kylo 'Hot Topic is my LIFE' Ren in the kind of mishmash I experience coming down off a ketamine high in a gay bathhouse designed by Salvador Dali.

When I first saw TFA, I honestly thought the intent was to do some Dark Empire shit, since that seemed to be where some of the setups were angling towards. New superweapon? Resurgent empire? Luke missing? All good stuff there if angled remotely competently. I didn't think TFA was good, but I thought it had potential.

Then TLJ happened and less said the better.

 

[TinCan Wizard]

Imagine these fuckers just going all 40k on the galaxy.

The best ending would for the Tyranids to suddenly show up and devour the galaxy with all the shitty new characters. Then they head over for the Milky Way. Jedi were shitty psykers all along.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

Katarn was just an all around badass. But what really stuck out for me were the Dark Troopers.
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Imagine these fuckers just going all 40k on the galaxy.

No joke, it looks like that one particular is exactly a 40k send-up: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Inquisitorium_dark_trooper

"Attack pattern Ignimus. For the Emperor!"

Mohc's Phase III exosuit at the end of DF seems to be the basis for the Inquisitorium dark trooper. I'd lose my shit if somebody decided to build a costume of either.

At least Dash wasn't replaced with a Mexican dude like Kyle was. I'm pouring a drink out for losing his games too.

He was actually replaced twice. Once in Rogue One (either by Edgyboi Montoya or Felicity Jones), but Rebels beat them to it first with Freddy Prinz Jr's Kanan Jarrus:

Spoiler: Kanan Jarrus = Kyle Katarn

 

[knightlautrec]

The second game was horrible, though.

It was rushed. Very rushed which is just a goddamn shame. The first is supremely good even with some frustrating moments. That Star Destroyer part springs to mind which as a set piece is fucking awesome. The idea of pulling it down with the Force is bad ass as hell but whatever designer decided to throw in obnoxious TIE fighters taking potshots to pull you away from the main conflict of the Star Destroyer made a poor mechanical choice. Ruins what should be a turning point in the game.


Also I have nothing to add on the movie front other than fuck new SW but I went to Galaxy's Edge in Disneyland the week after it opened and there was genuine concern about lines but when we got there it was really tame. There were more people in Fantasyland than that shit SW park. And I was honestly wondering the entire time why there was a lack of original SW trilogy swag and I have my answer now. Cuz Disney doesn't wanna shell out to use them.

The park is 80 percent shops, 20 percent food, and 10 percent actual stuff to do and fairly bland. Food was not great, either. They had a chance to do a nice proper sit down table service restaurant which Disneyland kinda lacks in that area of the park and did some shit spacer noodle vendor shit that wasn't really kid friendly. The bar had a pretty long line that was not worth it in the end. I got no sense of a actual atmosphere or whatever they're trying to cultivate.

Bob trying to slag off Harry Potter at Universal is fucking laughable. The Wizarding World is 10 times more engrossing than Galaxy's Edge with better rides. Having what is basically a retooling of Star Tours as a ride is the absolute laziest.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I'll never understand how it flipped from too derivative and dependent on the OT to "let the past die" and making every OT character and element meaningless.

Well, the OT characters became meaningless with the nonsensical rehash of ANH in TFA.
By setting back everything to "Status Quo before ANH", they invalidated all achievements and all arc by every character.
Han and Leia can't be married in a reset, so their marriage has failed.
Jedi have to be obscure and unknown, so Luke can't be a master, thus he must have failed.
The Empire must be a strong and mighty threat to a weak "Rebellion", therefore the Nu Republic must have failed.

 

[Jaimas]

Disney's entire handling of Star Wars is something that's always baffled me.

I've never been the biggest fan of the series, but my father sure as shit was, and growing up, I could ask him literally anything about the series and he'd have answers for me on it, from the most obscure technical shit to plot elements. So they buy out a decades-old franchise with fucktons of established lore and canon and literally infinite possibilities. Any single bit of content they could make could nibble on a single thread from any of hundreds of established works and could make bank.

So naturally, the first thing they do is declare everything outside the iniital trilogy and prequel trilogy non-canon, including stuff Disney themselves worked on. On one hand, you can almost understand why they did it - licensing issues. On the other hand, You're fucking Disney and you have more money than several countries. Pay the fucking license and accept that sometimes you need to spend money to earn money.

But it's the second part that is absolutely one of the most baffling things I've seen in the entire history of fiction. They didn't just declare everything in the original Legends non-canon, they also declared a fuckton of their own content non-canon, including the Star Wars books, graphic novels, and the animated series they had already worked on.

To understand why this was crazy, you need to look at the previous two trilogies. Whether you're an oldschooler that liked the originals or you're a young whippersnapper who genuinely likes the prequel trilogy, one of the biggest things Star Wars has is its setting. You have a universe of possibilities with countless alien races just begging for any of a number of amazing setups. That was the whole point of all that available content was. Disney literally has set things up so that there is no setting outside the movies, functionally gutting a lot of the story and lore of the setting and essentially feeding into an industrial shredder any reason to get invested.

This is like experimentally stupid. You declare the original content non-canon, so there goes the lorefags. You show no intention of using anything that remains correctly, so there goes the oldfags. You basically disrespect the few good things the Prequels did, so the younger-gen fans are gone. All that leaves are the fans of this singular new generation, which has no expanded content to flesh the setting out. Then Disney kills off the old trilogy's cast and demolishes what remained of the lore, sending any remaining oldfag holdouts out in disgust.

 

[Miller]

Leak Three: Palpatine will be back in some form. I guess he has been filmed BUT I have no idea if thats a flashback, force ghost, etc.
(Every leak has said this)

Palpatine/Sidious could work if they use him as a cameo via a flashback or a hologram recording (like in EA Battlefront 2). If they chose to go with the Force ghost version that can take over someone's body then it won't work and it will invalidate the OT.

Also if you're interested in a deconstruction of RO, here's another good one.

I unironically think that the best things to have come out of Disney Wars are MauLer, E;R and HackFraudMedia. HFM really does what Mike/RLM can't do anymore.

I heard the only reason Anthony Ingruber was passed over (heh) for Solo was because Spielberg's daughter begged him have Alden Ehrenreich cast instead.

Yep. They met at a bar mitzvah. I'm not kidding.

 

[Optimus Prime]

For someone who has no official ties to the new SW films, Spielberg seems to have a disturbing amount of influence. Also if you're interested in a deconstruction of RO, here's another good one.

Reminds me of why ET is even still a thing at Universal Studios Orlando despite that film being rediculously old to the point that no kid who actually goes to the kids area is going to know who the fuck ET even is.

That reason in Spielberg' sheer will power and influence. He was fucking livid when the Universal Studios Hollywood ride was removed and IIRC threatened to cut all ties with Universal if they even touched the remaining ride in Orlando.

I've ridden the Orlando ride and it it is ancient as fuck as far as rides go. It's a wart in the park and it needs to go for something far more up to date, but it really is only kept alive by Spielberg. However, I personally think that guy is well past his prime.

Katarn was just an all around badass. But what really stuck out for me were the Dark Troopers.
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Imagine these fuckers just going all 40k on the galaxy.

Oh man, I want a model kit of THAT.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

I've ridden the Orlando ride and it it is ancient as fuck as far as rides go. It's a wart in the park and it needs to go for something far more up to date, but it really is only kept alive by Spielberg. However, I personally think that guy is well past his prime.

Did Universal do Ready Player One? I would think a ride based around that might work, despite the fact that the movie only had a middling US box office. Maybe they could appease him with that, dunno.

Edit: Nope. It was Warner Bros.

 

[Antipathy]

Did Universal do Ready Player One? I would think a ride based around that might work, despite the fact that the movie only had a middling US box office. Maybe they could appease him with that, dunno.

Edit: Nope. It was Warner Bros.

The only things I remembered about that movie are that one scene with the furbait girl and my total disbelief that the secrets took so long to get, considering how autistic speedrunners are.