Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Ihavetinyweewee]

maybe it'll be like clue

Ok, I can kinda believe that

 

[Optimus Prime]

maybe it'll be like clue

It'll have several silly endings and only one true 'this shit actually makes sense' ending?

 

[XYZpdq]

As for Guardians going into EPCOT, that has to do with the fact Universal actually has rights to Marvel properties for all parks east of the Mississippi, or so I think is the wording on the agreement from the 90s. So, Disney can't just drop in Marvel World like they're going to at DCA.

iirc the rundown I heard on the Disney nerd orbit was that with the Marvel purchase the properties that are active at Universal Orlando can't be used within the Disney parks in Orlando. Disney can't make Uni throw out the existing attractions, but Uni would need to get permission to make new stuff with the Marvel IP and that's very unlikely to happen.
This was a speculated reason for going so far off in left field for guys like GotG to begin with, that they wanted to start getting IPs out there they could use at all the parks.

It'll have several silly endings and only one true 'this shit actually makes sense' ending?

Ah, the "Wayne's World / Evangelion TV" approach!

 

[JohnDoe]

I think that's one of the greatest ironies of why Disney keeps fucking up with Star Wars - they're so fixated on shoving big name characters in your face that they don't realize the setting naturally should lead to stories, not the other way around.

Yeah, like, how about a murder mystery in the style of Agatha Christie set in the Star Wars galaxy? Or a fun heist movie in the style of Ocean's 11? They don't need to have Jedi or previously named characters to be connected to the universe - or even be set on any of the planets we've already seen because the aesthetic and setting is so strong and iconic!

 

[ZehnBoat]

It'll have several silly endings and only one true 'this shit actually makes sense' ending?

the last line of the film is finn going "I'm going home to sleep with my wife"

 

[Judge Holden]

the last line of the film is finn saying to Han "I'm going home to sleep with your wife"

FTFY

 

[Optimus Prime]

Yeah, like, how about a murder mystery in the style of Agatha Christie set in the Star Wars galaxy? Or a fun heist movie in the style of Ocean's 11? They don't need to have Jedi or previously named characters to be connected to the universe - or even be set on any of the planets we've already seen because the aesthetic and setting is so strong and iconic!

Which itself is ironically the way Disney tried to go when it came to Galaxy's Edge/Batuu, because GE ultimately only feels like a mismash of recognizable elements from other planets simply to try and cram as much recognizably Star Wars shit as possible.

What floors me is that ultimately, there is NO REASON they had to make two copies of this dumbass park that isn't even fully open - Hollywood Studios should have been it. If they absolutely needed another Star Wars attraction at Disneyland, they could have easily just gutted the damn Innoventions building and constructed a smaller scale version of Smuggler's Run there, except change the plot so that you're just flying a highly modified Corellian YT-1300 because Hondo wanted to try making more of the Millenium Falcon (plus this kinda sorta happens in the first Thrawn book when the enemy tries flying in a YT-1300 to trick Han fucking Solo into thinking it's his ship...and it nearly works). GE works in Hollywood Studios because as pointed out, it come off more as a film set more than anything and that's perfect for that location. But in Disneyland when you already have both Tomorrowland and at least one permamently Star Wars themed ride there? Come on, Isner.

 

[BScCollateral]

I find it hard to believe that there are 4 completely narrative different films. That seems like a gross exaggeration...

It's all guesswork, of course, but I believe it.

There's nothing I've heard of so far that suggests the ST is being made with a "story" in mind. It's more like a bunch of exciting set pieces loosely connected any way possible. The idea that there's a set of completely different films put together and Disney is just going to release the one that tests best is absolutely plausible to me.

 

[Uranus Pink]

According to the old EU every privately owned Corellian YT-1300 been highly modified as nobody in the SW Universe flys stock.

 

[Creep3r]

According to Lucasfilm, this is the face Han made when Kyle Ren was born...

 

[Uranus Pink]

Is that the face of a man who been cucked?

 

[Creep3r]

Is that the face of a man who's been cucked?

"JUST fuck my shit up."

 

[Miller]

Is that the face of a man who been cucked?

 

[FlightOfTheBumbleBee]

Star Wars is dead.

The Mandalorian trailer was unveiled yesterday and it gathered a "whopping" 50k tweets worldwide. If you are a sane person and don't use twitter I explain it to you: it's bad, really bad.

Any fart Trump makes on that Godforsaken site accumulates millions of tweets in minutes. When spiderman terminated its relationship with Disney it caused a storm on twitter of proportions rarely seen. Dozen of different hashtags with hundreds of thousands of mentions dominated the worldwide trending topics the whole day. The fucking Matrix 4 announcement almost reached half a million tweets and remained on the top ten TTs a long ass time.

Mandalorian got a laughable amount of mentions and It barely got to the 20 most commented topics on the site. It's so bad that I have a hard time expressing it in words.

Star Wars died. Nothing can be done anymore. Episode IX is destinated to flop.

Do you have any more observations about how Star Wars is performing right now compared to other franchises?

 

[Dom Cruise]

My favorite isn't a masterpiece or anything but the Han Solo trilogy will always be a personal favorite of mine and was a fun experience all around, but my favorite old lore media wasn't a book, it was the video game Star Wars Bounty Hunter along with the Genndy Clone Wars cartoon which were what actually made me warm up to Attack of the Clones a little despite considering it the worst SW movie at the time. You know you did right when you manage to make Episode II's existence seem worthwhile.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8Vo5FAdfZakhttps://youtube.com/watch?v=X5BtE52BS9Y

Man, I was hyped as fuck for Bounty Hunter back in the day, but I remember not liking it unfortunately.

TRON is going to be a straight clone of the installation at Shanghai Disney and it's been a long time since WDW Tomorrowland got anything, so a TRON coaster will be a big draw for sure.

As for Guardians going into EPCOT, that has to do with the fact Universal actually has rights to Marvel properties for all parks east of the Mississippi, or so I think is the wording on the agreement from the 90s. So, Disney can't just drop in Marvel World like they're going to at DCA. Instead, apparently the coaster 'Cosmic Rewind' is going to be considered a 'Xandarian Outpost' in relation to Avengers Campus. As for why they're adding a coaster at all to Epcot, the fact is Epcot's original purpose as envisioned by Disney (loosely since he wanted a whole goddamn city which never happened) and its eventual, original implementation have long since been outdated thanks to the Internet. Or, essentially, they're trying to turn Epcot more into a standard park like Disneyland although at least they're trying to keep to the original ideals of it being 'educational' to a degree. I'm still kind of pissed of what they did with Test Track, which virtually was ruined by the same things that ruined Star Tours by becoming a personality-devoid 'modern' ride with a gimmick that's so-so at best. At the very least they haven't ruined Journey into Imagination further by making it some Inside Out nonsense but that still could happen unfortunately - by the same token, it's probably why they haven't paid any attention to that ride in years, because they can't cram an IP into it properly.




I think that's one of the greatest ironies of why Disney keeps fucking up with Star Wars - they're so fixated on shoving big name characters in your face that they don't realize the setting naturally should lead to stories, not the other way around. Much like how Star Tours used to be basically space airline travel that had Star Wars elements but was free to do its own thing, since the company Star Tours had jack shit to do with the whole galactic war to the point at one point in the ride an X-Wing pilot flat out asks Rex what the hell a civilian transport is doing in a restricted war zone.

Now it's a Star Wars ride with elements of a space airline because according to what I can find in the ride summary off wikipedia, apparently Star Tours is closely affiliated with Rogue Squardron from the beginning of its conception which is the whole reason the Empire shows up to capture the spy. And apparently, they updated the ride so you can actually take part in events out of chronological order, like having Kylo Ren try to get the spy out of the ship, which then takes off...and ends up in the middle of The Battle of Hoth which took place before Kylo Ren was even fucking born...then get contacted by Yoda confirming the spy is there (completely ignoring the time frame of this ride is supposed to be apparently between episodes 3 and 4, meaning Yoda is in self-imposed exile on Dagobah and should not be doing any of this)...and then get into the Battle of Naboo which took place when Vader was still a child and R2D2, who is plugged into your ship, should be on the Royal Naboo spaceship during that whole mess (as well as CP30 too, for that matter), before crash landing in the Naboo Starfighter hangar and CP30 remarks you're all part of the Resistance now even though he's somehow traveled back in time to before the the predecessor to the Resistance even existed. Remember, Kylo Ren was at the start of this thing, so going through this completely possible sequence of events I'm reading off wikipedia, apparently Starspeeders are traveling through time backwards and Yoda is helping an organization he canonically was never around for the existence of to begin with. But hey, look at how many recognizable things I just mentioned, just ignore the complete and utter disrespect to the passage of time within the franchise.

I loved the original Test Track, I've yet to ride the updated version but I hate that they changed a perfectly fine ride.

The original Star Tours had some continuity errors too, didn't it? As didn't you help destroy the Death Star? Not that it was as egregious as those example though.

Which itself is ironically the way Disney tried to go when it came to Galaxy's Edge/Batuu, because GE ultimately only feels like a mismash of recognizable elements from other planets simply to try and cram as much recognizably Star Wars shit as possible.

What floors me is that ultimately, there is NO REASON they had to make two copies of this dumbass park that isn't even fully open - Hollywood Studios should have been it. If they absolutely needed another Star Wars attraction at Disneyland, they could have easily just gutted the damn Innoventions building and constructed a smaller scale version of Smuggler's Run there, except change the plot so that you're just flying a highly modified Corellian YT-1300 because Hondo wanted to try making more of the Millenium Falcon (plus this kinda sorta happens in the first Thrawn book when the enemy tries flying in a YT-1300 to trick Han fucking Solo into thinking it's his ship...and it nearly works). GE works in Hollywood Studios because as pointed out, it come off more as a film set more than anything and that's perfect for that location. But in Disneyland when you already have both Tomorrowland and at least one permamently Star Wars themed ride there? Come on, Isner.

I don't understand why there just had to be two Galaxy's Edge parks as well, if there's only 1 Avatarland in Florida, why not just 1 Star Wars land there?

According to Lucasfilm, this is the face Han made when Kyle Ren was born...

Wyświetl załącznik 917860

That's a man with a lot of regrets.

 

[Optimus Prime]

The original Star Tours had some continuity errors too, didn't it? As didn't you help destroy the Death Star? Not that it was as egregious as those example though.

I believe it was the Death Star III that you helped destroy - a Death Star specifically created for the purpose of Star Tours getting to help blow the damn thing up. Despite the fact it's, y'know, a Death Star that's hilariously more complete than the Death Star II ever was, since it was made up pre-Disney acquisition in full, how and why it even exists in canon actually makes a lot of sense.

Death Star III

The Death Star III, also known as the third Death Star, was a mock Death Star battle station created from an incomplete worldcraft by the Kaarenth Dissension. In 4.3 ABY, Supreme Commander Ennix Devian of the Kaarenth Dissension used this false Death Star to create a diversion at the temportary...

starwars.fandom.com

I don't understand why there just had to be two Galaxy's Edge parks as well, if there's only 1 Avatarland in Florida, why not just 1 Star Wars land there?

Because Disney/Isner were so fucking sure that Star Wars couldn't fail that they decided to put them at both parks, probably because they thought it would generate more attendance for Disney.

And then TLJ happened. And then Solo happened.

And then the ride system for Rise got all kinds of fucked up because apparently the sensors built into the floor of the main ride building were installed wrong so the trackless vehicles kept crashing into shit. So they had to delay opening the ride to fix the damn thing.

I just do not see Galaxy's Edge lasting at all at Disneyland. Upcharged merch with only a motion simulator arcade game? And then Rise of the Resistance which sounds like 50% queue line and 50% slow moving vehicles? Given the attendance numbers were fucking laughable for what Disney thought they would be handling to the point of the blackout dates which pissed everybody off, I just don't think it's sustainable. Especially not with the franchise continually falling in popularity across the board because Disney keeps fucking it up.

Oh, and then there's the hotel which sounds deliciously dumb. Apparently, you only get to stay two nights, one of which will be a 'port day' at Batuu (day in the park, obviously). Oh, and at some point during I'm guessing the not port day, the First Order apparently shows up and you know who's with them? Kylo Fucking Ren. Because apparently he's the only guy the First Order trusts to do anything anymore, whereas Phasma who totally would be doing this instead of Ren since it's kind of her job as the super stormtrooper just gets straight up ignored. Like, is the only time she ever appear in the parks proper is a parade or something? Anyway, it seems that like Rise, the 'Galactic Starcruiser' hotel is another Disney experiment in 'immersion' though these days I think it's highly overrated, and not really workable given you've got GE where Lightsabers are supposedly illegal and yet you've got kids running around with them in broad daylight - the stormtroopers and Kylo aren't going to do shit, since those lightsabers cost $200+ each and they aren't going to commit actual theft despite that being what they're supposed to do by the lore of the world.

 

[Xerxes IX]

I saw that rumor too, and its interesting in how it makes sense in that all these different leaks have things in common yet only differ in certain key areas, like say Rey's parentage. And its already been said that aside from the reshoots, JJ is still editing IX, which seems to somewhat strengthen the possibility that there are multiple versions of the film and they're simply deciding on which one to use. Anyway whatever the truth is, shit is looking to be a cluster fuck.

Holy shit they are literally having to cobble IX together. Star Wars crashed and burned shockingly fast, I'll never understand how it flipped from too derivative and dependent on the OT to "let the past die" and making every OT character and element meaningless.

I don't understand why there just had to be two Galaxy's Edge parks as well, if there's only 1 Avatarland in Florida, why not just 1 Star Wars land there?

There's going to be 3. They're also building a Star Wars land at the Walt Disney Studios park in Paris (maybe it'll be something different, but I doubt it based on how they treated the California and Florida lands).

 

[Dom Cruise]

I believe it was the Death Star III that you helped destroy - a Death Star specifically created for the purpose of Star Tours getting to help blow the damn thing up. Despite the fact it's, y'know, a Death Star that's hilariously more complete than the Death Star II ever was, since it was made up pre-Disney acquisition in full, how and why it even exists in canon actually makes a lot of sense.

Death Star III

The Death Star III, also known as the third Death Star, was a mock Death Star battle station created from an incomplete worldcraft by the Kaarenth Dissension. In 4.3 ABY, Supreme Commander Ennix Devian of the Kaarenth Dissension used this false Death Star to create a diversion at the temportary...

starwars.fandom.com

Because Disney/Isner were so fucking sure that Star Wars couldn't fail that they decided to put them at both parks, probably because they thought it would generate more attendance for Disney.

And then TLJ happened. And then Solo happened.

And then the ride system for Rise got all kinds of fucked up because apparently the sensors built into the floor of the main ride building were installed wrong so the trackless vehicles kept crashing into shit. So they had to delay opening the ride to fix the damn thing.

I just do not see Galaxy's Edge lasting at all at Disneyland. Upcharged merch with only a motion simulator arcade game? And then Rise of the Resistance which sounds like 50% queue line and 50% slow moving vehicles? Given the attendance numbers were fucking laughable for what Disney thought they would be handling to the point of the blackout dates which pissed everybody off, I just don't think it's sustainable. Especially not with the franchise continually falling in popularity across the board because Disney keeps fucking it up.

Oh, and then there's the hotel which sounds deliciously dumb. Apparently, you only get to stay two nights, one of which will be a 'port day' at Batuu (day in the park, obviously). Oh, and at some point during I'm guessing the not port day, the First Order apparently shows up and you know who's with them? Kylo Fucking Ren. Because apparently he's the only guy the First Order trusts to do anything anymore, whereas Phasma who totally would be doing this instead of Ren since it's kind of her job as the super stormtrooper just gets straight up ignored. Like, is the only time she ever appear in the parks proper is a parade or something? Anyway, it seems that like Rise, the 'Galactic Starcruiser' hotel is another Disney experiment in 'immersion' though these days I think it's highly overrated, and not really workable given you've got GE where Lightsabers are supposedly illegal and yet you've got kids running around with them in broad daylight - the stormtroopers and Kylo aren't going to do shit, since those lightsabers cost $200+ each and they aren't going to commit actual theft despite that being what they're supposed to do by the lore of the world.

Cool, I didn't know that was a third Death Star, wish I could have rode the original ride with that knowledge.

 

[Antipathy]

Holy shit they are literally having to cobble IX together. Star Wars crashed and burned shockingly fast, I'll never understand how it flipped from too derivative and dependent on the OT to "let the past die" and making every OT character and element meaningless.

And then they flipped back. Jesus Christ this is a trainwreck of a franchise.

Didn't JJ kill Star Trek too?

 

[Optimus Prime]

Holy shit they are literally having to cobble IX together. Star Wars crashed and burned shockingly fast, I'll never understand how it flipped from too derivative and dependent on the OT to "let the past die" and making every OT character and element meaningless.

It started relying too heavily on the OT because nobody was willing to actually continue the series - Episode 6 is a pretty good ending point, not gonna lie, and with SIX FILMS, Star Wars was a pretty massive franchise in of itself.

And then Disney came along and wanted the franchise, but nothing to do with the existing framework they couldn't fully call their own and thus get all the money for. Which is why Episode 7 is basically A New Hope all over again (complete with Han Solo taking Obi Wan's place as getting killed by the masked Sith Lord!), and then TLJ tried to deviate from everything WAY too hard.

The problem Disney has there is that they cut ties with all the stuff people loved without understanding why people loved it, thus their replacement characters meant to fill the exact same roles all fall flat, because Hux will never be as good as the Grand Moff Tarkin.

Cool, I didn't know that was a third Death Star, wish I could have rode the original ride with that knowledge.

You can! Sorta! I have no idea how the hell this person got this footage, but it's the original projection footage that is shown inside the ride vehicle.

Star Tours Ride Film [Full] (Pre-Disney)

This is the full ride film played on Star Tours at Disneyland Park at the Disneyland Resort, Disney's Hollywood Studios at Walt Disney World Resort, Tokyo Di...

www.youtube.com

I find it rather interesting that they show the loading bay when Rex starts talking, which is when the big blast shield like door is still up and thus not being shown to the riders - it's only visible when the blast shield is lowered (as denoted when Rex says he's going to lower it and subsequently the 'hi there!').