Since JJ's now at Warner Bros, there's rumors that he's supposed to be ass-raping handling DC Films now.
I saw a rumor from that
Beyond the Trailer youtube channel about that, but I take that with a grain of salt, although it does seem very likely that DC would want him to reboot the DCEU. But considering how fucked the DCEU is minus Aquaman, Wonder Woman and
Shazam Captain Marvel (he'll always be Marvel to me), its hard to imagine how JJ could make things any worse, unless he reboots those three too despite being promising new IPs. Chances are the first movies he makes will be average to enjoyable (but praised by critics) followed by a stream of poorly received and bad sequels as is usually the case with him. Honestly the only reboot DC needs most right now is in the comics, one that resets shit back to a pre-woke and pre-crisis shit state without the new shit weighing it down or combining so many universes together. Honestly the new Earth is so over cluttered and convoluted that it even makes Marvel's Earth-616 look almost stable and that's not really saying much.
But enough of this comic nerd baloney, back to Star Wars nerd baloney and the Galaxy's Edge toy store...
Now before I kick off on the toy store, I'm just gonna quickly talk about the clothes store since its so small. The store looks nothing like the promo and concepts and is actually small stall. Here are pics of one of the store's promos and one of what it actually looks like now.
It only sells three kinds of clothing: One set of Jedi clothes (pieces sold separately), one set of Sith clothes (pieces sold separately) and every single outfit Rey has worn along with all of Rey's accessories. The Jedi and Sith clothes come in only two variations, one for kids and one for adults, but you can't wear these in the park, and also note that you can get these at Dok Ondar's "store of shit Disney wants you to forget" too so the store offers nothing original except Rey's shit. Strangely, the one they call the "sith robes and tunic" actually look more like the shit Luke was wearing in TLJ than sith clothes. Luke confirmed for Sith? Also, white there's only one sith and one jedi outfits, the piece for them are sold apart, with robes, tunics and belts sold separately. The Rey outfits however are what encompass the majority of the store's goods, which include the outfits she wore in TFA, the outfits she wore in TLJ, her "pilot outfit", the her armbands, her legwraps, her handbag/purse/thing and her belt. The only thing of note in the store is a "clothes droid" that looks like it shares its aesthetic with BB-8 and the park lore says the droid runs the store, but its not really an animatronic, its just a statue that stands there.
I guess it's better than nothing unlike the other stores... although it might as well be nothing. Also the Kylo Ren meet&greet seems to really love teasing female tourists, and they still fucking swoon.
Now, for Toydarian Toymaker. First off its not actually a store of its own as promo material implied, its actually in Merchant's Row as a small hole much like the pet store. For the plebs who don't know, Toydarians are Watto's species and Disney wanted to use a species name with the word toy in it. Here's a pic of the store's concept art vs what it looks like now.
Unlike the other stores in the park (with the exception of Dok's antiques and the Falcon ride) this store is the only one with an actual alien running things but you never see her, but unlike the other non-existent aliens, you can see her silhouette in a small window on the "2nd floor" of the store. However its just a fucking 2D cutout that only moves its one arm up and down and makes no noise. According to the store's employees, her name is Zabaka and she's an "incredibly kind and generous toy maker" but also a "strong and independent" old woman who is "the best shooter around" and will attack anyone who threatens her and her toys... and she's an elderly lesbian in love with the cantina owner... Congrats on the extra meaningless woke points. Here's her picture.
That's all there is to say about this shitty store, all that's left to discuss is the merch. All the toys are purposely poorly made to simulate as though they're handcrafted as well as not from this world, despite that Luke and Lumpy's toy ships were of higher quality than the shit in this store and toys of both good and primitive quality existed, and the store itself has three non-"handcrafted" toys. But all the toys here are mainly based on the ones from Rogue One and their aesthetic. The toys available here except for the plushies have received negative critiques even from a few devoted Disney shills.
Starting off we have the poorly made wooden stormtrooper doll based on the one from Rogue One.
This is the closest thing to an original trooper (aside from a toy I'll get to in a moment) you'll see at the park outside of Dok's store of "shit Disney wants you to forget". It costs 25 dollars.
Nu-trooper doll and Emo Ren doll.
20 bucks.
Chewy and Leia dolls.
They cost 20 dollars. Before you ask, no, Luke, Han and Kenobi don't get any merch here either. Only thing Han gets is shitty drawing on some wooden cubes which I will show next and all Luke gets is a very tiny picture that I will show soon.
Next we have the wooden spinner.
Featuring Adolf-3PO and the only instance of Han at the park. Costs 20 dollars.
Here are the Rey and Finn dolls.
They cost 20 dollars.
This is a wooden frog-dog.
Costs 18 dollars and it doesn't seem to sell as well as the rest.
This is a wooden music box that plays the imperial jingle.
It costs 25 dollars.
A wooden carving of Morai. Morai is a convor bird from Filoni's Rebels and its the one in charge of protecting the time anus that was used to bring Ahsoka back to life.
20 dollars.
This is the Dejarik board game.
The figurines are all terribly poor in quality and have a single coat of paint for their whole bodies. It costs 50 dollars.
Here is a Sabacc card game based on the one seen in Solo. It costs 15 dollars.
Note that the second pic only shows one side of the cards, the other side looks more like
this but dirtier.
The cards look dirty and bent on purpose and are based entirely on their depiction in Solo. For comparison here is a set of Naboo Sabacc cards from pre-Disney and regular Sabacc cards from Filoni's Rebels in early Disney canon which were based on regular pre-Disney canon Sabacc cards. The only thing from old lore used in this new deck is the usage of dice.
This is a Death Star maze game.
It costs 20 dollars.
A Watto doll also appears at 18 dollars. Watto's dice are also sold at 10 dollars.
And a metal one appears only as the store's sign.
This is a loth cat/tooka doll and looks nothing like the thing.
Its based on the one Filoni briefly used for the twilek peasant girl in Filoni Wars. Costs 20 dollars.
Yoda, Ewok, Jabba and Ahsoka dolls.
20 bucks each.
Vader doll. One of only two Vader toys and merch at the park aside from his lightsaber and a single picture.
20 bucks.
Collapsing string string toys made of wood.
Includes Ackbar, Boba, troopers, Vader, R2 and 3PO. Cost 15 to 18 bucks each. Note this is the only Ackbar and Boba merch you're getting.
Lando doll based on the one from Solo rather than the OT.
20 bucks.
Another fucking PORG Doll.
18 bucks.
Holocron puzzle cube.
23 dollars.
These are hollow tin toy ships.
There's also a wooden falcon, a wooden nu-tie fighter and a wooden Jawa sandcrawler. Also a shitty nu X-Wing
All at around 20 dollars.
Here is a matching game and the only thing to remind you that Luke exists.
Majority of the tiles are all sequel or Disney related things. Costs 20 dollars.
Finally here are the only three toys that seem to get any regular positive reception since they actually look like they had effort put into them despite that the long term durability of the plastic is debatable.
An Ewok drum, a Chidinkalu flute and a
Jizz Kloo Horn.
When you push their buttons they make drum and
jizz music. Yes, I'm gonna keep saying
jizz, fuck you (it used to be a bird watching term anyway before the 70s). The
Jizz Kloo Horn's label mentions that it is a replica of Figrin D'an's
jizz kloo horn. For the plebs who don't know, Figrin D'an is the name of the band leader of the Modal Nodes (aka the band that played in ANH's cantina scene). In old lore he was a drunk douchebag, and in Disney lore, he's still a drunk douchebag as that's one of the few things from old lore that hasn't changed. The Chidinkalu is the instrument used by Snit (the kitonak/mole alien from the Max Rebo band in ROTJ).
In the store's promo material, there was a small buildable krayt dragon skeleton made from 2D wood pieces.
However my associate couldn't find it in the store.
Apparently removed due to being a choking hazard? (Edit: The idiot found them on a high shelf, and they're not selling well apparently which is a shame) A Krayt Dragon is a giant reptile from Tatooine, with its skeleton being seen in ANH, but living ones appear often in pre-Disney media and as bosses in games like KOTOR and Bounty Hunter. Disney will release a book in august that reimagines these things as
generic fantasy dragons with wings.
In other toy related news, SW toy sales may have dipped by 280m last year according to some on twitter and reddit, but take it with a grain of salt since I want to find a decent reference on it first. Also Dr. Aphra may become a part of this park some day according to the comic tie-in for this park and Greedo is a legendary supersniper according to a comic preview. Fucking end this pain.
I don't see how 3 million dollars were used honestly.
Both parks cost 2.8 billion to make. What a waste.
