DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[SirQuicksand]

one of the best DSP outfits of all time and he looks just like the Allen Wake character.

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I say he looks more like one of the RLM dudes.

Well, that took about 3 hours of gameplay. He has been raging at the game for a while now and he really hates it.

[MEDIA=streamable]3npk3[/MEDIA]
"This game fucking sucks! The game is garbage! The combat is completely fucked! What the fuck did they do!? They fucked the whole game up!"

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"Whiny reviewers", that's some clever irony right there.

 

[Agentsmith]

Just some insight into the mind of a narcissist.

His #1 concern is the power remaining on as that relates to him streaming, his ego and his $$$.

One reply was he should take a photo - but pro gamers don't have time to look outside!!

Also people who pledge for a return are disingenuous apparently

 

[Destro1986]

The neighbors will eventually complain of the smell. Emergency response will be called to find and collect his remains from the pile of empty Tanqueray bottles, Sprite cans, and Hungry Man dinner boxes, with Netflix’s “Are you still watching?” message on the television.

Don't forget the energy drink cans.

Also I know we were talking about his weird bodyshape somewhere (can't remember the thread) but I was rewatching the Down the Rabbithole on Dark and I noticed this



I think he's always had those saggy man-breasts, but I always mistook them for fatrolls cause I don't ever remember actually noticing them before. I thought he had a fuller chest back in the day honestly.

Now that he's lost weight but not gained muscle they're way more notable.

 

[WeeblesWobble]

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Inspired by a few people who have asked previously and by @Comma 's noting of cheer distributions, I added to my script to generate all of November's cheers broken down into 30 minute increments. The blue box represents approximately Phil's 1st stream (give or take 15-30 minutes, depending on how prompt he is), and the orange box represents approximately the 2nd stream. The red box is approximately when he usually takes his 20-30 minute break (cause he works so hard, DOOD). The times are binned by using Excel's floor function, so (if I understand it right), any cheer made between 1:00:00 PM and 1:29:59 PM would show up as 1:00:00 PM on here, for example.

It's pretty clear that Phil gets a majority of his cheers within the first hour or so of streaming (36% of his total in 1st 1.5 hours of 1st stream, and 27% in the first 2 hours of his 2nd stream) with a small resurgence after his break. The same is pretty much true for 2nd stream, although it maybe is more like the 1st 1.5 hours. Otherwise, you can see the occasional "tooth fairy" cheer that is most often made by GoldenColts or Infinite_55.

Won't do this often (maybe ever again, unless specifically requested), but I thought it was interesting enough to share.

You know,

Even though Phil sees stuff like this and thinks "These trolls have no lives," someone with decent business acumen would LOVE for someone else to be getting this type of info and breakdown for free. Even though this is a small sample size, this type of stuff is actually valuable info that some businesses pay good money for. Knowing the best time to shill and ask for bits cuts down on asking during those times when people are extremely unlikely to give and cuts down on how annoyed people get. If Phil used his business...whatever, degree?? to look at all of the info post here he could actually design a plan to maximize his revenue.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

I say he looks more like one of the RLM dudes.


"Whiny reviewers", that's some clever irony right there.

How dare you insult RLM

 

[actually]

You know,

Even though Phil sees stuff like this and thinks "These trolls have no lives," someone with decent business acumen would LOVE for someone else to be getting this type of info and breakdown for free. Even though this is a small sample size, this type of stuff is actually valuable info that some businesses pay good money for. Knowing the best time to shill and ask for bits cuts down on asking during those times when people are extremely unlikely to give and cuts down on how annoyed people get. If Phil used his business...whatever, degree?? to look at all of the info post here he could actually design a plan to maximize his revenue.

Funny thing is that a Python script and 5 minutes in Excel made that, so it's not even some labor intensive process. But what's interesting is that Phil doesn't really do any "selling" during his stream unless it's simply noting that things are "slow" or "really good". If he watched other streamers, he might notice that not only do they generally thanks subs, cheers, and tips (at least above a certain threshold), they usually incorporate "selling" into their stream. Pretty much fits with Phil's M.O. to just sit there, say "pay me" once at the beginning of each stream, and hope for the best.

 

[Destro1986]

Funny thing is that a Python script and 5 minutes in Excel made that, so it's not even some labor intensive process. But what's interesting is that Phil doesn't really do any "selling" during his stream unless it's simply noting that things are "slow" or "really good". If he watched other streamers, he might notice that not only do they generally thanks subs, cheers, and tips (at least above a certain threshold), they usually incorporate "selling" into their stream. Pretty much fits with Phil's M.O. to just sit there, say "pay me" once at the beginning of each stream, and hope for the best.

The smart streamers are on teams for a reason. Half a dozen mid-tier streamers can "sell" eachother and they all get that first time bit of money without having to whip the same users for cash for 4 hours straight. It's way easier to sell yourself, then sell your friend, than to sell yourself over and over again.

It's weird because Dave treats his audience the way you might expect from someone who plays some niche type of games exclusively; like if you stream a whole genre of games nobody else does, you could probably replicate Dave's business model pretty well. The niche Youtubers I watch really don't sell hard at all; because they have a loyal audience, so they don't really have lots of new viewers to try and sell to.

But then he plays games like he's a big time streamer who has enough momentum that it doesn't really matter what they play; and those streamers have to sell themselves every 30 minutes because they have thousands of people in stream who weren't there for the last sales pitch.

Yet another thing he does that's just completely backward and cripples his ability to grow.

 

[Kermit the Frog]

The smart streamers are on teams for a reason. Half a dozen mid-tier streamers can "sell" eachother and they all get that first time bit of money without having to whip the same users for cash for 4 hours straight. It's way easier to sell yourself, then sell your friend, than to sell yourself over and over again.

It's weird because Dave treats his audience the way you might expect from someone who plays some niche type of games exclusively; like if you stream a whole genre of games nobody else does, you could probably replicate Dave's business model pretty well. The niche Youtubers I watch really don't sell hard at all; because they have a loyal audience, so they don't really have lots of new viewers to try and sell to.

But then he plays games like he's a big time streamer who has enough momentum that it doesn't really matter what they play; and those streamers have to sell themselves every 30 minutes because they have thousands of people in stream who weren't there for the last sales pitch.

Yet another thing he does that's just completely backward and cripples his ability to grow.

Phil's ego won't allow him to sell "his" fans to other streamers, because then they might donate money to them instead of him. And according to Phil, that's literally stealing from him. He is insanely jealous and protective of his paypig fanbase. Remember when Phil went on that Project 7 rant and made it out like he was solely responsible for all the good lines John Rambo was getting when Rambo was getting the most praise? It's just like that. He can't bear to share the spotlight, even in instances where it would help him, like the mutually beneficial sharing of fans between streamers. Phil has had many chances to collaborate with other streamers, and every single time he's blown it by throwing a pissbaby fit about how he might get made fun of and he wouldn't get any new fans. There was that one time where a big streamer had hosted Phil after they were done streaming and there were like 2,500 new people watching Phil. What did Phil do? He panicked and quickly ended the stream. Not a single new fan to be made and all it did was expose just how terrified he is of having to sell himself to a new audience, because he knows he can't do it. It's amazing how entitled he is to think he should be a huge name raking in the unlimited funds when he can't even be bothered to do any of the necessary work.

 

[Prince Lotor]

Phil's ego won't allow him to sell "his" fans to other streamers, because then they might donate money to them instead of him. And according to Phil, that's literally stealing from him. He is insanely jealous and protective of his paypig fanbase. Remember when Phil went on that Project 7 rant and made it out like he was solely responsible for all the good lines John Rambo was getting when Rambo was getting the most praise? It's just like that. He can't bear to share the spotlight, even in instances where it would help him, like the mutually beneficial sharing of fans between streamers. Phil has had many chances to collaborate with other streamers, and every single time he's blown it by throwing a pissbaby fit about how he might get made fun of and he wouldn't get any new fans. There was that one time where a big streamer had hosted Phil after they were done streaming and there were like 2,500 new people watching Phil. What did Phil do? He panicked and quickly ended the stream. Not a single new fan to be made and all it did was expose just how terrified he is of having to sell himself to a new audience, because he knows he can't do it. It's amazing how entitled he is to think he should be a huge name raking in the unlimited funds when he can't even be bothered to do any of the necessary work.

I can't remember if he sold himself or not when he got the +2K raid. Did he just say, 'Hi, my name DSP. Unfortunately my stream is ending in 10 minutes,' or did he actually mention the type of games he streams and invite people back?

He's like Chris with his, 'Y'all should know me by now,' shtick.

It's actually really fucking odd that he never introduces himself to his viewers mid-stream, you would think that since he tries to play every hype new game on Day 1 he would try to grow his audience from the new viewers doing so attracts. Nope, he assumes he has exactly zero unique impressions ever. It just goes back to him being the most garbage tier Twitch streamer to preseve the purity of his precious YouTube uploads. . .all to avoid that most hated of activities: editing

 

[MV18]

Just some insight into the mind of a narcissist.

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His #1 concern is the power remaining on as that relates to him streaming, his ego and his $$$.

One reply was he should take a photo - but pro gamers don't have time to look outside!!

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Also people who pledge for a return are disingenuous apparently

So complete admittance that he provides FUCK ALL for his viewers.

 

[Wurstbrot]

But then he plays games like he's a big time streamer who has enough momentum that it doesn't really matter what they play; and those streamers have to sell themselves every 30 minutes because they have thousands of people in stream who weren't there for the last sales pitch.

Agreed, people look either for an anchor-point of a specific game or genre OR they stay with a charismatic person who is enjoyable no matter what he/she plays. Usually people tend to stay with what they are familiar with.

If you stream games from all over the place without being interesting at all, then why even watch this guy when there are alternative streamers who are interesting and/or focus on a genre (and are therefore quite good with those).

Dave is bad at every single game, and more importantly he can't sell himself. He lacks the charisma and social skills to make himself unironically interesting to a new audience, only detractors and trolls can laugh at such a person. He should start to focus his schedule away from "all games" to a specific group, so he might someday be the "Go To"-guy for those.

Right now he acts complete backwards. He should schedule like it's a job, but do interactions and commentary like it's a hobby. But he schedules like a hobby and treats the stream like a serious job. So-much-fun.

So playing Dark Souls for the quintillionth time might not be a bad idea, especially with a name like DarkSydePhil, but can you imagine him, the King of handholding, bad skills and bad reaction-times, EasyCheese-builds, bad observational skills, facetanker and stamina pulverizer as the Go To Guy for souls games? I really can't.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

So when’s the next toy mascot going to show up? I’m guessing maybe around April he can buy a stuffed tiger. Tony the tax tiger.

 

[Comma]

In the second episode of DoorsydePhil, I present to you: a 36-year-old man playing Darksiders III.

(still unsuccessfully trying to make the audio not sound like it's underwater)

Maybe I'll make this into a series, lol.

 

[gaarashatan]

In the second episode of DoorsydePhil, I present to you: a 36-year-old man playing Darksiders III.

[MEDIA=streamable]emyqn[/MEDIA](still unsuccessfully trying to make the audio not sound like it's underwater)

Maybe I'll make this into a series, lol.

now it just needs a touch of gross. when you open the door a bunch of soda cans, pizza, and fast food containers laying round

edit: oh and a fuckton of cables cause his cable management is garbageeeeeee

 

[JackDavis]

Funny thing is that a Python script and 5 minutes in Excel made that, so it's not even some labor intensive process.

Well, to you it's not a labor intensive process, to Phil it's: First I have to walk into my office, which is on the 2nd floor by the way. Then I have to find the chair and sit on the chair. Then I have to turn on the monitor, which is usually turned off to save electricity by the way because I can't afford to keep it on. Then I have to hit the Start button... etc

 

[gaarashatan]

Well, to you it's not a labor intensive process, to Phil it's: First I have to walk into my office, which is on the 2nd floor by the way. Then I have to find the chair and sit on the chair. Then I have to turn on the monitor, which is usually turned off to save electricity by the way because I can't afford to keep it on. Then I have to hit the Start button... etc

"i have to use my left knee and bend it and move my left hip forward then extend my left knee. super confusing shit, then repeat the process with my right leg. its super fucking exhausting, people call it walking i think. FUCKING SUCKS!"

 

[KingjadVCMP]

Courtesy of @worldprofound on twitter:

https://twitter.com/WorldProfound/status/1067555144244416514?s=19

 

[gaarashatan]

Courtesy of @worldprofound on twitter:

https://twitter.com/WorldProfound/status/1067555144244416514?s=19

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the t-pose is what made it for me

 

[JackDavis]

No that is categorically wrong. The discord server still exist. Most the people involved in creating that was just there to make a honey pot to troll phil. The reason for it was that phil just gave the task to create a discord server to someone who wasn't really involved with the community. So as an extension of that no one had any idea who the moderators where. The only thing I did was to say as long as no one knows who the people running it is, there is no way this can be a fan server for phil.

@BSV please respond to the following things said about you about the discord then. Is it fake news? Slander? You did nothing wrong and everything right?

The Discord saga starts in this thread around page 1777 or so.

 

[Um Oh Ah Yeah]

I say he looks more like one of the RLM dudes.

Come on man, not even Rich Evans deserves that.